Hikigaya's God Slayer Story

Chapter 32 – Let's Talk

Carrying girls home on his back—Hikigaya thought to himself, finally, a lifelong dream fulfilled from his past life.

Honestly, he'd wanted to do this for ages.

Like the ancients said, when heaven gives you a gift, you shouldn't refuse.

Heaven is extremely tsundere.

Refuse its favor, and it'll turn on you in an instant—won't stop until it's made you suffer.

Considering heaven hadn't turned its back on him just yet, Hikigaya decided to graciously accept its blessing—carrying girls at night.

And not just one, but two at once.

He walked along cheerfully, while the two girls on his shoulders, who normally couldn't stand the sight of each other, had both gone completely quiet.

Like ostriches, they buried their heads down.

They couldn't help it—this was just too humiliating.

If anyone happened to walk by right now, they'd want nothing more than to dig a hole and hide in it.

Fortunately, Hikigaya still had a shred of decency.

Once they entered the residential area, where passersby might be around at any time, he put the two of them down.

Then he turned left and knocked on a door—it was home.

With a creak, the door opened, and Komachi poked her head out, her face full of hope.

"Onii-chan, where's my juice?"

"No juice, just your big brother. Store was already closed."

"I told you it'd be closed… huh? Ena-nee?" The little brat spotted the blushing Ena and cried out in surprise, "You're here too?"

"Y-yeah…" Ena hastily tried to hide her sword behind her back. "I am…"

Liliana, standing beside her, looked on in confusion, clearly not understanding the meaning behind Ena's behavior.

"Yep, yep, your Ena-nee's here, and your brother's friend too. Now quit blocking the doorway," Hikigaya said, expertly deploying the "devil's claw" grip he'd refined since returning to Chiba, instantly messing up Komachi's hair into a chicken's nest.

Fox, you'd better thank me—I just helped you get revenge again.

"Ah! My hair!" Komachi yelped, then dashed back into the house.

Hikigaya laughed and stepped inside.

Ena gave a bitter smile and followed him in.

Liliana hesitated a moment, but only briefly, then also stepped inside.

As they entered, Hikigaya was already rummaging through the fridge and speaking to them.

"Want something to drink?"

"I'm fine, not thirsty," Ena said, waving her hand while glancing around, seemingly searching for a place to hide her sword.

"What's there to hide? She already saw it." Hikigaya looked at her strangely, pulling out two bottles of juice. "Didn't you carry that thing around when you used to hang out with her?"

"Well… I had a bag back then."

"Pfft, same difference. Besides, my sister's long been used to me practicing martial arts—an extra blade or two is no big deal."

Saying that, Hikigaya looked toward Liliana.

"First time at my place, huh, Lili? But don't be shy."

He handed her a juice bottle.

"Ah, yes, um… thank you very much… oh no, I mean…"

Liliana accepted the juice, stammering her thanks. She seemed unusually nervous today, struggling to get her words out properly.

"Told you—no need to be so formal. Have a seat."

Warmly, Hikigaya pushed the two of them toward the couch.

Ena was still worried about her sword, so Hikigaya took it and casually tossed it into the empty trash bin beside them.

"Hey! Don't throw me in a place like that!" the sword, Ama no Murakumo, immediately shouted.

Then it abruptly fell silent—Hikigaya was now looming over it, face stern, holding out a single finger mere millimeters from the blade.

That finger looked like a red-hot branding iron—utterly terrifying.

"Shut up. If my sister finds out you can talk, I'll forge you into scrap."

The tone made it clear: this was no joke.

If it had been anyone else saying this, Ama no Murakumo wouldn't have cared.

But coming from a God Slayer…

It obediently fell silent.

Hikigaya's expression instantly shifted from stormy to sunny. Cheerfully, he patted the sword.

"See? We're old pals. I knew you'd give me face. I'll treat you and your old man to drinks next time."

"…" Ama no Murakumo wanted to respond, but after thinking it over, decided to keep quiet.

Ama no Murakumo was a prestigious divine sword, a being of immense stature! Its old master had been begging for retirement—why should it get involved with a lunatic like this God Slayer?

Besides, like the brat said, it was present when he killed a god.

Giving him face didn't really cost its dignity.

Comforting itself with these thoughts, Ama no Murakumo obediently became just another piece of room décor.

"Alright, everyone calm now?" Hikigaya sat down on the sofa. "Let's talk."

"What do you want to talk about, Hachiman?" Ena asked warily.

She dreaded that word coming from his mouth.

Because her position was extremely awkward…

Even tonight, she hadn't been able to convince her grandmother and had come on this mission regardless.

"Let's talk about everything—me and you, your family, you and Lili."

Hikigaya smiled innocently, like any harmless high school student.

"Um…" Ena was at a loss. Hikigaya's confidence was overwhelming, and she didn't know how to respond.

Liliana, meanwhile, had sealed her lips and was staring intently at Hikigaya.

Her gaze was the kind that would spook any normal person.

"Don't know what to say? Then I'll start." Hikigaya wasn't offended. "Honestly, I never blamed you. I didn't tell you because I knew it would put you in a tough spot."

He tapped the table rhythmically, preparing to switch into "cool mode."

"But me staying quiet for too long makes people think I'm an easy target. If it weren't for you, I'd be in Tokyo by now."

"W-why Tokyo…?" Ena suddenly panicked.

At that moment, she was genuinely nervous.

Whether or not she liked this boy, or wanted to become his lover as the family intended, her reaction was a natural emotional response as a relative.

After all, she, Seishuin Ena, hadn't sprung from a rock.

Just because she ran around in the mountains didn't mean she was a monkey.

"What else? To beat up your annoying relatives, of course." Hikigaya spoke with righteous conviction. "Do they really think I'm an idiot?"

"…" Ena was speechless. Honestly, she also thought her relatives were treating Hikigaya like a fool, but…

Even if it's true, anyone could say that—except her.

"Actually, your relatives aren't entirely wrong.

I was just a student, not as clever as them.

But just because I'm slow doesn't mean I'm easy to bully."

Hikigaya softened his tone a little—he didn't want Ena to think he was venting at her.

"What, are your relatives all high or something? How are they dumber than me on this issue? Do they think their fists are bigger than mine? If I can't figure things out, I'll just beat them up to relieve stress. Didn't they think of that?"

Ena and Liliana were both dumbstruck.

Hikigaya's words were just too wild.

What the heck does "can't figure it out so just punch someone" even mean? What if you hit the wrong person? Shouldn't you think about that too?

Seeing their stunned faces, Hikigaya suddenly lost interest.

He felt like a brainless bully picking on kids.

He gave up pursuing the topic, slumped back into the sofa, feeling a bit annoyed.

After some thought, he decided he still needed to be clear.

"I'm just a regular student…" He sat up again, looking earnestly at the flustered Ena. "Before I killed a god, who knew who I was? Would any normal person mess with me? Don't you agree, Ena?"

"…I'm sorry." Ena lowered her head. She knew Hikigaya hadn't truly vented his anger—he was restraining himself because he cared about her and considered her a friend.

That moved her deeply and filled her with guilt.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Why are you apologizing for others—just because they're your relatives?" Hikigaya shook his head. "Don't do that. The more you do, the more I'll hate them.

And no matter how big a family fortune is, it can't survive a bunch of freeloaders.

You really should talk to your grandma."

He glanced at the clock—about time.

Based on the efficiency of the underworld, the hyenas should've been taken care of by now.

He'd let it go this time—he couldn't ignore a friend's feelings.

But if it happened again, he already had a plan to deal with those people.

He'd make sure they had a real good time.

Chapter 33: A New Morning Begins

As the first ray of sunlight shone into the room, Hikigaya Hachiman woke up.

After a night of chaos, he had finally returned to the peaceful daily life he cherished.

The two quarrelsome girls had been persuaded to leave.

As for Haruno, he didn't bother with her—but she clearly had a good time last night.

Since she hadn't shown up, she probably went home to brag to her mom and little sister.

Looking out at the faintly lit sky, Hachiman felt that this was the kind of life he truly preferred.

Even more than slaying gods, he was now attached to this lifestyle—unless the god was a cute girl, he definitely wouldn't go looking for a fight again.

After all the times he'd fought and killed gods, he no longer craved more divine powers. Rather than chase new abilities, he would rather train the ones he already had and joyfully act cool in this world—so much like his original Earth, yet so different.

If you can't act cool, what's the point of living?

Hachiman felt like he could now understand the mindset of those vengeful ghosts in horror films.

They had to be people who, while alive, never got to act cool—so after death, they forcefully overcompensated.

See? Acting cool is essential to social harmony—it's an important matter!

Even an ordinary person can turn into a ghost if denied the chance to act cool.

For a god-slaying badass like himself, if he couldn't act cool, then what was the point of slaying gods in the first place?

Getting up from bed, he pulled the curtains all the way open, letting sunlight pour in. He was utterly content.

Then, taking his change of clothes, he went downstairs to the bathroom.

A morning shower is also a vital part of acting cool.

After bathing, he brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth, styled his hair, and checked himself in the mirror.

"Damn, still so handsome today. Good job, Zaimozuka!"

Feeling satisfied, he walked out of the bathroom and returned to his room upstairs.

Once dressed and with his school bag in hand, he prepared to go… act cool—no wait, to go to school.

The weekend had gone by too quickly, but he didn't mind.

In his daily life, he never encountered those stereotypical "slap-my-face-seeking" young masters from Chinese novels.

His neighborhood was ridiculously peaceful—could probably win an award for being one of the world's most civilized areas.

So weekends didn't offer much opportunity to act cool.

Since it was still just barely light out, and his cheeky little sister was likely still upstairs using the fox as a pillow, Hachiman decided not to disturb their cozy routine and headed out alone as usual.

Wearing his neat school uniform and walking down a street so deserted it might as well be uninhabited, he felt surprisingly inspired.

To be fair, being a god-slayer is already one hell of an inspirational tale.

On the way to school, he could see Tokyo Bay in the distance.

By then, the sun had already risen above the horizon, spilling brilliant light over the city.

A breeze blew in from the bay, carrying a faint salty scent, which made Hachiman think about eating fish for dinner.

Wait—no, that's too lowbrow. Can't be always thinking about food.

Must be because he skipped breakfast while prepping to act cool.

Ugh! "Breakfast is important"—what a timeless truth!

But thinking skipping breakfast could stump him? Too naive.

He was a man who could run on photosynthesis!

With a stylish toss of his head, Hachiman basked in the sunlight, slowing his pace and strolling leisurely toward school.

Gradually, more people appeared on the streets.

There were early-rising office workers and students heading to school like him.

And by "students," he meant "schoolgirls," since he had no interest in watching male students.

It's simple logic: when the wind blows, whose reaction is more pleasing to look at—boys or girls?

Obviously girls.

Though… there were certain sights that should be mentally censored.

"Tut tut… So bold. Ah, youth…"

With a serious face, Hachiman appreciated the filtered morning scenery and sighed internally.

Short skirts are great.

Maybe he should threaten the Japanese government to make it mandatory for all women under thirty to wear short skirts outdoors?

Eh, no, no—that'd ruin his image. Being known as the "King of Ten Sun" was already embarrassing enough.

He didn't want people secretly calling him the "Perverted King."

Still… short skirts really are a divine invention. And with stockings? Perfection.

"Hachiman?"

A voice full of joy called from behind him.

Hachiman turned around and his eyes lit up.

Wasn't that a pair of beautiful white legs—no, wait, wasn't that Miura?

"Yo, what a coincidence," Hachiman greeted her with a grin.

As a top-tier "normie," Miura knew how to dress.

Even in school uniform, she looked stylish.

Compared to her, that shy dumpling of a girl(Yugihama) couldn't compete.

But with his sharp eyes, Hachiman could always see through such disguises.

Don't think you can fool me just by dressing modestly and acting bashful!

Under the light, no girl can hide her big chest and beautiful legs from Lord Hachiman's discerning gaze!

"You're up early today, Hachiman." Miura smiled as she walked up beside him, keeping pace.

"Yeah, you're early too." Hachiman grinned.

Let's be real—when am I ever late? An early-rising god-slayer is the only one who can properly act cool.

And you, Miss Normie, are always early at school too—probably just to maintain your image.

"What've you been up to these past few days? We kept asking you to hang out, but you were always busy." Miura's tone sounded a bit complaining, but her expression didn't quite match.

"Some family stuff came up, couldn't get away." Hachiman spouted a quick lie—he couldn't exactly say he'd spent the night arranging for a bunch of underlings to go rough people up.

"Are the others going out this weekend too?"

"Yeah, last time in Kyoto wasn't satisfying enough. But we've got a two-day holiday this week, so we're going again. Everyone decided to make the most of it."

"Nice. Mind if I tag along?" Hachiman perked up.

Kyoto! The holy land of showing off in anime! And this time—no dead old men to ruin it!

"Then it's settled!" Miura seemed delighted.

She giggled cheerfully, clearly in a great mood.

Was she planning to go fishing for guys in Kyoto?

Hachiman rubbed his chin, suddenly feeling a little melancholic.

Why didn't he ever get randomly approached by girls on the street?

Come on—he was a fine piece of young man, wasn't he?

The two continued to chat idly as they walked to school.

By now, the street was filled with students from the same school, streaming toward the school gate.

Familiar faces began to appear.

Hachiman and Miura exchanged greetings with several of them.

Then suddenly, Hachiman spotted Yukinoshita Yukino.

As always, she was alone.

Even in a crowd, she had an air of cold isolation.

In the past, Hachiman would've just glanced at her and moved on. But now…

After what happened with Haruno, it felt wrong not to at least say hi to her little sister.

Besides, seeing Yukino like this, he felt he should check in on her—so long as she didn't bring up wanting to learn magic, that is.

"Yukino," he called out from a distance, then pushed through the crowd toward her.

"Eh…" Miura, walking beside him, instinctively reached out a hand when he suddenly changed direction, but then quickly realized how inappropriate that was.

Following the direction he was moving, she saw Yukinoshita Yukino.

That moment made her swallow the "Hachiman" she'd been about to call out.

She glanced silently at Yukino, whom Hachiman had now stopped.

With a soft hmph, she turned and continued walking toward the school building with the crowd.