Her True Form

Yvette awoke with a groan. She felt filthy, a thin layer of sweat on her body and fresh aches spread throughout it. She groaned and tried to get to her feet, only to mess up her footing and instead roll out of bed and onto the floor.

She laid there for a moment. “Ow...” she said before sitting up, thankful nobody saw that. She slowly shook her head and pat her cheeks. She shuddered slightly when she felt little hairs on them and crawled back into bed before she began her cleansing rituals.

Once she was finished using her magic to cleanse herself, her clothing, ensuring her hair was actually staying in something almost resembling tidy and that her face was smooth as could be, she got back to her feet. She wished she had a mirror to see herself, but she at least felt better than she had. She moved slowly through the room, groping wildly for the door before pulling it open. “Gervas?” she called out.

She stepped out of the room and into the hall before walking towards the main entrance. The entrance itself was simple, one door that led outside, another on the wall to her right that attached to the stables. The hall she came from led to a dozen different doors, only a few of them had locks. The entrance had a simple table with a few chairs. The only other thing in the room was a large, wooden counter.

Ursula was standing behind the counter, a scroll in front of her that she was writing into. “So, err, where’s Gervas?” Yvette asked softly.

“Out. He asked me not to wake you. Hungry?”

“A little,” she said, nervously lifting her right hand up to rub her left arm.

“Have a seat. I’ll go get you something,” Ursula said before resting the quill in an ink vial and then pulling the scroll behind the counter. The woman then walked out from behind the counter and headed down the hall, disappearing into one of the locked rooms. After a few more moments, she came out with a bowl, placing it down in front of Yvette.

“Thank you,” she said softly, though the other woman only grunted in response. Yvette looked into the bowl. It was some kind of bread roll. She picked it up and, to her surprise, it was a little warm. She took a bite and, to her delight, the inside was a core of cheese and meat. She happily took another bite, devouring the tasty meal. When she finished, she glanced over and caught Ursula staring at her. “What?”

“Nothing,” the woman said before returning back to her scroll.

Yvette glanced towards the door and sighed. She wondered if she could find Gervas on her own. It wasn’t a very big town. Then again, he could have gone anywhere. She finally glanced back to the woman. “So, what is this place?”

“What?”

“This place. You work here, don’t you? You’re the only one who does, right?”

“In this office, yes,” she said curtly. “Why?”

“Well… what is it? Gervas seemed to be looking for it. I’ve never seen a--”

“You wouldn’t. It’s not for mages,” Ursula said before giving a soft sigh.

“Am… I not supposed to be here?” Yvette asked softly.

“No. I mean...” Ursula said, tapping a rather sharp fingernail on the edge of the counter. “It’s not that mages can’t be here. It’s that you don’t, usually. I hear they’ve had a few who could do a bit of magic, but full mages usually tend to other things. Like your towers,” she said dismissively.

“So what is this place?”

“A guild hall. Mercenary guild, to be specific.”

Yvette’s eyes widened slightly. “What? But Gervas isn’t a mercenary. He’s a--”

“He’s a member, even if he’s not currently part of a mercenary company. He’s been a member of the guild since he could walk, his father brought him in.” Ursula looked her up and down, her eyes narrowing slightly in what Yvette suspected was a display of annoyance. The scales and strange, lizard-like face made it hard for her to tell, though. “He’s been in the guild probably longer than you’ve been alive. Well, unless you’re using magic to make yourself seem younger than you are.”

Yvette flushed and shook her head. “N-no. That’d be a waste of magic. I try to conserve it so--”

“Just in case it’s needed you still have it, huh?” Ursula muttered, her eyes going back towards her work. “Yeah, I hear that excuse a lot...”

Her cheeks burned but she quickly shook her head. “So is it a specific guild, or--”

“No. We’re kind of independent. You’ll often find us at ports or places that get a lot of trade. Some countries aren’t exactly friendly towards the mercenary guilds, lots of nobles aren’t either. It makes people uneasy knowing there’s a place that soldiers who don’t work for them can get food and bedding. Not that I can blame them. Isn’t a lot of things as destructive as a bored soldier,” she mumbled. “They tend to get a bit stir crazy. Others just go crazy.”

“But Gervas isn’t a mercenary anymore, is he?”

“Not at the moment. He was a good one though. Probably would still be one if things hadn’t gone the way they did. Protecting mages who can’t fend for themselves tends to pay a lot better. Even if they do have their little… quirks,” she said, giving another small shake of her head. “He puts up with a lot from your kind.”

Yvette sighed. “Doesn’t usually feel like it. Half the time I feel like he won’t put up with anything from me.” She thought about what he’d said prior, their training was going to begin again. More practice with her dagger usually meant one thing and one thing only, going to bed covered in bruises.

“He puts up with more than I would. I’d have smacked that silly girl thing out of you by now.”

Yvette bristled, her eyes narrowing. “It’s not a ‘silly girl thing’. I’m a girl. I--”

“Of course you are. And I’m a human,” the woman snapped, baring the row of sharp teeth to her. “Frankly, I think he should--”

“What? Beat me until I give into his demands? Live the way other people say I should live?” Yvette asked, getting to her feet and storming over to the woman, slamming both hands onto the counter. “I’m a girl. I’m not a boy. I’ll never be a boy.” She glared up at the woman defiantly, feeling that all too familiar fire of anger burning inside her. However, standing so close she was suddenly aware of how much larger than her the woman was. Ursula towered over her with ease and, even worse, those scales looked as hard as any armor. Her hands had sharp, jagged tips and her teeth were a long, sharp row that looked like they could cut open her body as if she was as fragile as a small leaf.

She became only more aware when the woman’s hands suddenly descended on her own, pinning them with ease. Yvette tried to pull her hands back, but the other woman didn’t even seem to be exerting any of her own strength when she held them, just holding them in place. “You’re a boy. You might, almost, pass for a girl to those who aren’t paying attention. Probably other mages like yourself. But it’s in everything you do. The way you move, the way you talk. You’re a boy, that’s--”

“I AM NOT!” Yvette screamed, clenching her fists under the other girl’s hands. “I am a girl.”

“You’re just--”

“I don’t care what you say!” Yvette yelled, leaning forward. “Do you think you’re the only one to tell me that I can’t be what I know I am? Do you think I haven’t spent years fighting for this?” she asked. “Do you think this is easy? Gervas didn’t listen either. My own master didn’t listen. I’ve been ridiculed, mocked, screamed at. I’ve had my own brothers try to beat it out of me while my parents just encouraged them!” she screamed, gathering her magic into her hands. “I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what anyone does. I am Yvette. I am a girl. I don’t care what I have to do in order to be a girl, I won’t let ANYONE stop me. Least of all some… some random woman. This isn’t any of your business, so why won’t you just let it GO?” Magic erupted from her hands, small flames searing out, forcing the hands over her own and leaving a scorch mark on the counter. It wasn’t a large spell, but without reagents it was the most she could do. She started to pull her arms back, however the woman’s left hand reached out and wrapped around her right wrist.

“What’s that?” she asked, her eyes locked onto the mark.

Yvette looked down and felt the blood drain from her face. Her spell had been simple, but it had torn the bandages off her hand, showing the mark on back. “L-let me go.”

“That’s a mark of the fallen,” Ursula said. Her right hand suddenly thrust forward, wrapping around Yvette’s throat.

“I-I--” The claw tightened, cutting off her words. She was lifted slightly, forced to stand on her toes to avoid being lifted off the ground entirely. Her left hand grabbed the arm, trying to pull it down, but it felt as if she was trying to pull down a tree.

“You’re a fallen mage. What in the world did you do? Does Gervas know?”

The claw loosened slightly and Yvette gasped. “Y-yes. H-he… he knows...”

“Why would he be helping you, then? What are you doing, really?”

“B-becoming… girl...” Yvette whispered, tears forming in her eyes. The claw tightened slightly.

“Don’t feed me that line,” Ursula growled, her eyes seeming to glimmer a dark red from the candlelight. “Mages don’t just become fallen.”

She tried to speak, but the claw was too tight.

“Well? Who are you, really? Is this whole ‘become a girl’ thing some cover? Who are you hiding from? The guild won’t have--”

The door to the hall opened, Gervas taking a step inside, only to stop when his eyes fell on the pair. “Ursula! What in the world are you--” His words stopped when he caught sight of the pinned wrist.

Yvette whimpered and gave him a pleading look, trying to breath around her choked throat.

Gervas’ eyes narrowed and he slammed the door behind himself. “Ursula, let her go.”

“She’s a fallen, Gervas,” the zmaj woman growled, baring her teeth once more. “You’ve brought a fallen into my hall. I should have her arrested.”

“That’s not the Mercenary Guild’s business, now is it?” Gervas asked, slowly stepping forward. “That’s the Mage’s Association’s decision. You’re not a part of them.”

“It’s my business when you bring a criminal into my town.”

The claw tightened around Yvette’s throat and she could no longer breath at all, her free hand wrapping tightly around the wrist of the much stronger woman. She tried to pull herself free, but she was too weak. She wished she could shift, but without her components she couldn’t think of any form she could take that would help her escape. Not to mention she imagined Ursula would snap her neck the moment she tried.

“Let her go, now. She’s not a criminal. She’s not doing anything wrong.”

“She’s--”

“Now. Don’t make me fight you, Ursula,” he said, his voice cold and determined. “She’s under my protection. If I have to, I will.”

Ursula glanced towards him, before looking back at Yvette. Finally, she let go. Yvette stumbled back and fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. She reached a hand up to her throat, though it hurt badly. She could practically feel the bruise forming. Gervas was at her side a moment later, kneeling down by her.

“Easy, easy,” he whispered, gently stroking her hair. “Are you okay? Can you breath?”

She tried to speak, but all that came out was a light croaking sound. She slowly nodded, staring up at him with tear stained eyes.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now...” he whispered. “I got you something while I was out. Okay?” he said, before dropping a small bag into her lap. He then got back to his feet and turned towards Ursula.

The zmaj woman just glared at him, baring her fangs at him. “Do you want to tell me why you’re protecting a fallen of all things?”

“She shouldn’t be fallen.”

“Then why does he have that mark? They don’t just give those out because they feel like it.”

Gervas sighed and crossed his arms. “She stole from the vault.”

Ursula’s eyes widened. “He did what? Why would you be helping someone like that? You know how the Mage’s--”

“Because she didn’t have a choice!” Gervas cut her off, stepping closer to the counter and glaring back at her.

“Everyone has a choice. Stealing from the vault isn’t something you do by accident. The--”

“She needed a spell that could fix her. That was all. They wouldn’t allow her to have it, so she had no choice but to steal it. I helped her.”

That made the woman take a step back, her mouth falling open. “You did what? You stole from the vault? But your grandmother--”

“Yes. She’s less than pleased with me.”

“Why in the world would you do something so… stupid?”

“The same reason we talked about before. Because it’s the only way she can be fixed. The only way she can be herself.”

“He’s a--”

“She’s a girl,” Gervas snapped, before turning and kneeling down besides Yvette, reaching out to gently touch her head, examining her neck. “Yvette, you’re a girl.”

“I-I know...” she croaked, staring up at him. She felt her stomach flip while she stared at him, her heart beating ever faster. She struggled to drive the silly thought of throwing herself into his arms and crying against his chest away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean t--”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve told you that. So stop saying you’re sorry.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Gervas rolled his eyes and shook his head. “We stole the spell that will turn her into a girl. That’s all. They branded her as a fallen for it.”

“You know they’ll be furious with you for--”

“Then let them be,” Gervas said with a soft sigh. “It’d hardly be the first time I’ve gone against their demands.”

“You know they’ll--”

“They’ll send someone after me, I know. But that’s what they do. She’s hardly the first one to have been wrongfully deemed a fallen,” he said gently. “All she wants is to fix herself. Nothing more.”

“Why are you buying into this?” Ursula snapped, slamming a fist down on the table. “You’re letting him control you, just like your mother--”

Yvette froze at the look of pure rage that covered Gervas’ face for a moment before he turned to face Ursula. Even the much larger woman took a step back from his anger. “Don’t you DARE say that. Yvette is nothing like my mother.”

“He--”

“Do you believe, even for a moment, I would let myself be tricked like this?” he asked, moving up against the counter. Yvette suspected if it wasn’t for that, he’d have had the woman backed up to the wall.

“We can all be--”

“I’ve traveled with her. It’s my duty to watch her, to ensure that she’s not a danger to anyone else. To ensure that she’s a good and proper mage.”

“You’ve made mistakes before. Madlyn--”

“I did the best I could with her. It was not my duty to force her to change. Just to find what she needed to. The same with Yvette. You know what I’ve seen?”

“What?”

“A young girl. She’s not the most capable mage. She’s a bit of a brat at times. Selfish. Half blind. Walks straight into danger with all the self preservation instincts of a blind and deaf mule.”

“H-hey!” Yvette said, her cheeks burning.

“But she’s trying her hardest. She’s giving everything she has for this. I’ve seen her both as a boy and a girl. I would not be supporting this if I didn’t know it was necessary.”

Ursula stared at him before, slowly, she relaxed. She looked between the two of them. “Are you sure? Your father--”

“Would have done the same thing.”

“Then you admit it’s stupid.”

“Incredibly. It’s probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done.”

Yvette’s cheeks burned even redder and she sheepishly lowered her eyes. “Y-you know, you don’t have to be so h-honest about it,” she said, before breaking into another coughing fit.

“Yvette, there should be some components in that bag to help, use them,” Gervas said.

She nodded and opened the bag. Inside were a pair of thin, leather riding gloves. She placed them in her lap before pulling out the rest. Her eyes widened at the assortment of small components. Small leaves that were soft and leathery to the touch, having been soaked in a potion. She picked one up and pressed it to her throat. The leaf turned to ash when her magic surged through it, but it gave her magic the focus it needed to slightly heal her throat. The pain dampened slightly. “Thank you,” she said softly, before grabbing the gloves and sliding them on. She then started going through the bag.

Assorted small, crude stones, useful for elemental spells. Assorted dried out body parts of different animals (most of which she couldn’t identify), they’d be useful for her transfiguration spells. She pulled out a small, blue scale that she suspected came from a rather large snake. “Thank you, Gervas.”

Ursula looked between them once more. “It’s incredibly stupid. He’s going to get both of you killed. Is that what you want?”

“I’m not going to die over this. Besides, it’s like my father said. The battles you regret the most aren’t the ones you won, it’s--”

“The ones you ran away from,” Ursula said, cutting him off. “Your father had a thousand sayings.”

“He did. I’m not saying it’s the smart thing to do. But she has absolutely no self preservation instinct, at all. If I don’t help her, she’ll be dead in a week. Two, tops. If I leave her to it, I’ll end up regretting it for the rest of my life.”

“If you don’t, you won’t have a rest of your life to regret it,” Ursula muttered. “Idiots always lead themselves and anyone foolhardy enough into an early grave.”

“I’d rather spend my life living, than wasting it surviving.”

Ursula groaned and shook her head. “You really are your father’s son. Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I never would,” Gervas said, before turning to kneel besides Yvette once more. “How’s your throat?”

“Better,” she whispered, staring up at him. “I don’t think I’ll be singing anytime soon, though. This just means you’ll have to play for me.”

Gervas stared at her. “Play for--” His eyes narrowed and he reached out, ruffling her hair roughly. Still, she could see the small hint of a smile on his lips. “You must be feeling better if you can make terrible jokes.”

“They’re no worse than any of yours,” she said sheepishly, trying to keep the blush from her cheeks. “Thank you for the incredible timing, though. I really thought she was going to kill me.”

“She wouldn’t have killed you. Once you passed out, she’d have let you go.”

“Oh, well. I guess that makes me feel so much better,” Yvette said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You know, since meeting you, I’ve almost died a lot.”

“If you’d rather go back to your master’s tower, I’m sure--”

“No!” she said quickly, shaking her head. “I didn’t say it’s a bad thing. I just wish your friends and family wouldn’t be on the list of people trying to kill me.” She regretted the words almost instantly when she saw the guilt flash in his eyes. She barely resisted reaching a hand out to touch him, wanting to wipe those feelings away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“It’s okay. I know what you meant,” he said softly. Slowly, he got to his feet and held out his hand. “Come on. Ursula, about what we talked about last night. Will you still--”

“Yes, I’ll get you it. But you’re on your own on getting to that island. Any captain willing to go near it won’t be cheap. Getting off it will--”

“We’ll deal with that when the time comes,” Gervas said quickly, cutting her off. “You won’t tell anyone about what you saw, correct?”

“Not a soul. But if anyone comes looking for you, I won’t--”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Yvette, we’ll need to be here a few more days. Is that okay?”

She glanced back towards the woman, then back to him. Slowly she gave a small nod. “Yes. That’s fine. No more choking or trying to break pieces of me?”

“Are you going to cause any trouble for me?” Ursula asked.

“All I do is cause trouble. Ask Gervas,” Yvette said before she could stop herself.

“It’s true. Really, all she does,” Gervas said without skipping a beat.

Ursula stared at the pair for a moment before, slowly, her lips curled into a smile and she gave a low, hissing snicker.

Yvette’s eyes widened. “Did you just hiss?”

“No!” the woman shouted.

“You did. I knew it! Well, I suspected it! I knew there had to be some kind of hissing!” the mage said with a smirk.

“That’s incredibly rude, I don’t hiss,” Ursula said with a light growl.

“You just did. It--”

“Yvette,” Gervas snapped. “Don’t. She’s not a lizard.”

“My kind are those who have dragon blood and magic flowing through our veins. We are not lizards,” Ursula said coldly.

“And I’m not a boy.”

Ursula opened her mouth to snap back, but slowly she paused and then closed her mouth, eyeing Yvette for a few moments. Finally, she shook her head. “Very well, girl. Little trouble making mage. So long as you do not cause me any trouble, I won’t have to hurt you. But know this. I’ll be watching you, closely. If I catch even a scent of you causing any trouble, I’ll put you down myself.” A low, guttural growl rose from the zmaj woman’s throat. “There are lots of ways to disable a mage, especially ones that have such easily broken bones.”

Yvette nervously gulped and rubbed her wrist, touching the bruise that had formed along it. She had no doubt that the woman could have snapped it without breaking a sweat. “Y-yes ma’am...” she whispered.

“Let’s go,” Gervas said, gently taking her left hand in his. “You’ve been inside for a while. How about a ride?”

“A ride? I think I’ve had all the rides I’ll ever want to take just getting here,” Yvette said with a light chuckle.

“Are you sure?” he asked, once he led her into the stable. “It’ll be quite a while before you can again.”

“Huh?” she asked. “Why?”

“We’ll be going by boat, remember? Chestnut and Redwood won’t be coming with us.”

Yvette froze, her mouth falling open. She hadn’t even thought about that. Though, now that he said it out loud she couldn’t help feeling a little foolish for having not realized it. If they were going out to sea, they couldn’t just bring the two with them. “Where are they going to--”

“Here,” Gervas said. “Ursula will take care of them until we return.”

She stared up at the two horses. The two had been with her since she had left the tower. While she hadn’t thought much about them, now that she realized they’d be leaving them behind, she felt a soft pang of sadness in her heart. She pulled her hand from his and moved towards Chestnut, gently petting the horse’s muzzle. She leaned into the pets. “Would they--”

“If we didn’t return, Ursula would make sure they got someone who took good care of them,” Gervas said before walking forward, gently petting Redwood.

“I-I wasn’t going to ask that!” Yvette said quickly. “I was going to ask if they would be happy here while we were gone. It’s… will they be okay?”

“Of course. Ursula would never allow anything bad to happen to a horse. Their riders, sure. But not a horse,” he said with a light chuckle.

Yvette rolled her eyes, but kept petting Chestnut. “I’d hope so. I don’t think she could lift Chestnut up with one arm, anyway. Good to know she’ll be treated better than me.” She rested her forehead against the horse’s head, feeling her warmth and catching her soft scent on the air. “You’ll be okay, won’t you girl?”

Chestnut gave a light snort in response.

Yvette smiled and wondered if the horse even understood what they were discussing. She felt silly a moment later when she realized that she likely did. Chestnut and Redwood were both mageborne mounts. They were far more intelligent than normal horses, stronger and faster too. If they weren’t worried, she likely had no need to. It didn’t make her feel any less nervous about it, though.

“They’ll be fine,” Gervas said calmly. “There aren’t a lot of people I’d trust with them. But Ursula has served just as well as I. She knows the value of a good mount. How important these two are. Isn’t that right, girl?” he asked.

Redwood clopped her hooves once again the ground.

“See? Besides, I’ve left Redwood here before. Ursula will take good care of them.”

“Even after what happened? After we… had that...” Yvette turned to look at her guardian.

Gervas sighed and gave a small nod. “Yes. She’s not going to cause us any problems. I trust her.”

Yvette couldn’t help but notice the way he tensed up. The way Redwood stood up taller in place. A new thought formed in her mind and she felt her cheeks getting redder. She glanced back towards the door, imagining that woman. She then looked back to Gervas, looking him up and down. Zmaj were human, once. Or, at least, their ancestors were. It wasn’t altogether uncommon for them to take human lovers. “Were you two...”

“Huh?” Gervas asked, glancing back at her.

Yvette flushed and quickly turned to look into Chestnut’s eyes. Her cheeks burned so hot she was certain he could see it even in the dim candle light of the room. “Intimate. Are you her--”

“NO! Ew, no!” Gervas said, the disgust evident in his voice.

She flushed. “I-I mean, she’s not, I didn’t mean, I don’t think it’s weird if--”

“My father and her were,” Gervas cut her off. “Just, no. She’s almost family.”

Yvette blinked a few times, before giggling softly. “Ohhhhh. I see. So, if she wasn’t your aunt, then--”

“We’re not talking about this.”

“Is it the scales? Or the teeth?”

“Very well,” Gervas said with a shake of his head. “I was going to let you take it easy. But I guess not. It’s time for more weapon’s practice.”

Yvette froze and she swore that Chestnut whickered with amusement. “W-wait, I was just--”

“Too late.”

She let out a soft whimper. She could already feel the bruises.