Her True Form

“Ow ow ow ow...” Yvette muttered when the bandages were slowly removed, revealing the mostly healed wounds beneath. Two small scars were all that remained of the arrow wounds now.

“Please be calm,” the older man above her said, finally removing the last of the bandages from her. “Wonderful. You are healing nicely, Tebaud.”

She cringed. “Yvette.”

“Of course,” he said with a long suffering sigh. “Now then. Your concussion seems to have… mostly faded. However, strikes to the head have been known to cause certain delusions.”

“Delusions?” she asked, glaring at the man.

“Yes. Sometimes, we believe we are things other than what we clearly are, for example--”

“My name is Yvette. Being a woman is not a delusion,” she said coldly.

His eyes narrowed. “Now, child, I understand that you--” She tuned him out and sighed.

She’d finally discovered where she was, one of the keeps skirting the road. The lord and lady of the keep were gone, leaving the servants in charge of maintaining the estate. In this case, Peter. While not fully a mage, the man had learned just enough magic over the years to prove useful and rise to his position. Primarily healing magic. According to Gervas, it was quite common. While becoming a full mage required years of study and training, learning a few spells and some skills could make a person invaluable to lords that did not have enough territory to draw in a true mage. She was thankful for the aid he had rendered her, of course.

But the lecture on her ‘delusions’ was one she had heard a thousand times from her master. At least Betan had sometimes managed to be a bit tactful about it.

“Now, I understand that you believe you’re a girl--”

“Am a girl,” she interrupted, glaring up at him.

“You are clearly not. I have been the one tending your wounds, I would know if you were or were not a girl. Now, as you are a journeyman I cannot force you to acquire treatment for your--” The man paused for a moment, before continuing. “-- compulsion. But I--”

“Oh, I am planning to get treatment,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that?”

“Nothing. Are you done? Because if you are, I would like to have my clothes and depart.”

The man sighed and shook his head. “Child, these clothes are not for you to wear. A young lad such as yourself--”

“NOT A LAD!” she yelled, sitting up. “I am a girl.”

“Hmph! Listen here, boy, if you weren’t--”

“A journeyman, you’d bully me into doing things your way? But I am, so you have no say in such matters. If you’d prefer, you may banish me from your lord’s castle. Otherwise, I am a woman. I feel like a woman. I am comfortable as a woman. Even if things are not physically correct, I refuse to be a man.”

“Yes, your delusions of--”

“They are not delusions! This is my body, this is how it is!”

The man snorted dismissively. “Bah. You are clearly a boy. If your mind struggles with that fact, it is clearly a sign of a grave illness that should be controlled. It--”

“Or maybe I’m a girl. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a girl, and my body is wrong.” Yvette felt her temper rising. “Maybe I want to be a girl because I AM a girl!”

“As I said, delusions. I have never, in all my years, ever had such drivel enter my mind. ‘Wanting to be a girl’. Such notions are the thoughts of a demented mi--”

“Do you want to be a toad?”

“Ex… excuse me?” he asked.

“Do you want to be a toad? Or maybe a canary,” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

“I… don’t understand.”

“My specialization. It’s transforming things, people, into other things, animals. So. Would you rather be a toad or a canary? Or maybe a little rat. Well?”

The color drained from the man’s face and he quickly got to his feet. “Ungrateful child...” he muttered before quickly racing from the room, closing it with a resounding slam.

Yvette sighed and flopped back down onto the bed. She heard the door start to creak open and felt the anger bubble up inside her. “Or maybe a squirrel! Toss you to the dogs!” she yelled.

Gervas stepped in through the now opening doorway, closing the door behind himself. “Do I even want to know?”

Yvette blushed and yanked the blanket up, covering her chest.“That… that man is an idiot.”

Gervas stared at her, a look of confusion on his face. Finally, he shrugged. “He seems fairly intelligent to me.”

“He says I’m delusional!”

“Yeah, I could see that. He actually had a few suggestions on how I could help you.”

She held her breath, her fists clenching. “What did he suggest?”

“Nothing I’d do. In the end, my job is to protect you. That’s all. What you wear or act like is none of my concern anymore.”

“And make sure I’m not a danger, right?” she asked, motioning to his bracer.

“Of course. You’re not hurting anyone with this, so there’s no need for me to interfere, Yvette.”

Her heart did a little leap. “So you’re not going to try and convince me I’m wrong, now?”

“No. Last time I tried, you almost died. My job is to protect you. I’d rather have you alive as a girl, than dead as a boy.”

She nodded. “On that note. Could you go? Or turn around? I need to get dressed and I’d rather you not watch...”

“There’s nothing I’ve not--” he stopped himself before turning around and crossing his arms. “Very well.”

She slid the covers off and walked to the nearby wooden table holding her clothes. “I think I angered him, though,” she said before she began to go through the garments. There were a few small tears in her undergarments, breaches and tunic, but nothing too severe. She whispered a quick incantation and began to remove the blood with her magic. “He deserved it, but we might not be welcome here for much longer.”

“We’ll be fine,” Gervas said.

“Are you sure? I may have threatened to turn him into a rat.”

“Can you do that?”

“I mean… not yet. Maybe one day. It’s a lot easier to transform myself than others. Even then, I wouldn’t do it,” she added quickly. “But he doesn’t know that.”

Gervas let out a tired sigh. “I see. I wouldn’t worry, however. I’ve been listening.”

“Oh? To what?”

“If you really want to know how things are, listen and keep an eye on the servants. Peter may be the lord of the manor, but it’s a rather… precarious position.”

“Precarious how?” she asked softly, before beginning to pull on her breeches and tunic. Fortunately, her bracer still lay wrapped tightly around the sleeve.

“He’s taken a few too many liberties while the lord is away, so to speak. Having a mage stay at your manor is quite an honor. But to drive one out… well...”

“Is it really that important?” she asked softly. “Another mage could come.”

Gervas shook his head. “Unlikely. Places that make mages feel unwelcome tend to not have return guests. That and the fact your mage’s guild operates outside the boundaries of most countries tends to make people wary. There are more than a few people who believe turning aside a mage will bring a curse down on your home as well.” He paused and shook his head. “Were he the Lord of these lands? It would be different. Some mages have been known to disappear once they’ve angered the local lord.”

“I wouldn’t curse someone!”

“You wouldn’t, others might.”

“Curses are nasty,” she said with a shudder. “That and they tend to backfire on the user. Even the minor ones.”

“Do… you know how to curse someone?” he asked.

“Of course. But before you get worried, the only thing I know close to a curse is to make it so their hair will always be a mess.”

“Ah, so it would have no effect on you, then. Clever.”

Yvette paused, slowly thinking about that before frowning. “HEY!”

“But I stand by what I said. He’s unlikely to kick us out. He may make us uncomfortable, but if he was to expel us, his lord would be furious.”

She nodded, then paled. “Wait. I threatened to turn him into a rat. You don’t think he’d believe that was a curse, do you?”

“He may. Just let him think on that for a while. Maybe he’ll decide to be more polite if he realizes there are consequences.”

She nodded, buckling her belt before finally tossing her robe on. “Well then. Since I am now able to walk, I would like to leave as soon as we can. Even if he won’t force us to go, I’d rather not stay longer than we have.”

“We’ll see. It may be best for us to stay until I’m certain you’re prepared to continue on. Besides, there is actually one last thing. A request, in fact. A task only magic can do. Or, at least, only magic can do effectively.”

“Oh? What?”

“You’ll see. Come along,” he said before turning around and walking out the door. That cocky, know it all smirk was back on his face and she couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable.

------

“That’s it?” she asked, staring at the chore she’d been tasked with.

“Yes,” Gervas said, the smirk on his face fading.

“It shouldn’t take long,” she said, glancing at the assortment of heavily soiled banners, tapestries and garments.

Apparently one of the attic roofs had collapsed during the winter, resulting in a nice, pleasant place for birds to make their homes, along with a few other creatures. While the room had been cleansed and repaired, the soiled fabrics had been covered in grime, animal refuse and mold by the time they’d finished. Storing them in a sideroom, rather than cleaning them, had only made the condition worse. She didn’t blame the servants for not wanting the clean them themselves. She felt a little gross just being near them.

However, the people here had saved her life and she would repay the debt she owed. She walked towards the garments, holding her breath. The smell was foul enough that, even without breathing, she swore she could feel it.

She lightly hummed her spell before placing a finger on the first, purging away some of the disgusting filth from them. Even then, while on minor messes her spell could make the mess seemingly disappear, for this all it could do was move the filth off of the cloth as if it was melting away. It took three tries with the first before she was satisfied, picking the banner up and dragging it out from the room. She cast her spell one final time, before tossing it into Gervas’ hands. She then walked past him and gasped for air, coughing and trying to clean the feeling of disgust from herself.

“Yvette, if this is too much, you don’t have to--”

“No. I said I’d do it, and I’m going to do it,” she said before turning and marching back into the room. Piece by piece she cleansed the articles, each use of her spell making her feel dirtier and dirtier. However, eventually, the objects were cleaned and the remains of the mess scattered on the floor. She stepped out of the room one final time, before casting the spell on herself and then hacking and coughing. “I want a bath.”

“Yvette, are you--”

“I want a warm, warm bath. And something to scrub an entire layer of skin off!” she said with another shudder. “Also, when you turn all of those over, make sure they wash them again. The spell will remove everything but… well. Just trust me. They won’t be truly cleaned until they’re properly washed.”

“Of course. I’ll find someone to draw you a bath. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes! Going outside, breathing fresh air!” she yelled after him. She walked through the stony halls, making her way out through the main gate and into the outer courtyard of the keep. They keep itself reminded her of her master’s tower, in a way. Shorter, but far wider. The grounds were surrounded by a stone wall, the gate closed tightly.

The practice yard took up a wide area on the right side of the courtyard, where a handful of older children training with dulled swords while an older man corrected them, sometimes by yelling, other times by striking them with one of the dulled blades.

She sat down on the grass and leaned back, eyeing the sparring practice. In a way, it almost seemed like a rhythmic dance. Strike, parry, dodge. Of course, whenever one of them missed a parry or dodge and got struck by one of the heavy practice blades, she couldn’t help but flinch. While her master was not always the easiest man to deal with, at least he had never required their lessons to involve beatings by older children.

“I thought you’d be retching,” Gervas said, dropping down by her side. She eyed him for a moment. While he wasn’t wearing his armor or carrying most of his weapons, she did note his sword was sheathed at his side.

“It wasn’t that bad. I still feel a little ill, though.”

“A bath is being prepared, you’ll be able to relax soon,” he said before looking her up and down. “Have you done work like that before? Cleaning?”

“Yes. Betan had us practice that spell by making us clean stables. It was very good motivation to get better.”

He gave a light laugh. “That sounds like a good lesson to learn. I had a feeling Betan was one of the good ones.”

“How long have you known him?” Yvette asked.

“Not long. A mutual friend of ours recommended me to him. Someone who was good at dealing with problem children, so to speak,” he said casually.

“I never wanted to be a problem child. I just wanted to be me. He was just so…”

“What?”

“Stubborn. He was such a great, amazing teacher normally. But when it came to this, he wouldn’t even listen to me. I just...” She closed her eyes. “I hoped if I could just get him to listen. If I’d just say the right thing or use the right words. Maybe, just maybe, he’d take me seriously. See how important this all is to me.”

“He never did?”

“Nope. And I kept thinking ‘next time will be different!’ But it never was. No matter what I did, he never saw me as any more than a child. He never believed I was right. That I could possibly be correct about this. I just… I know he worries. I know he’s trying to protect me in his own way. Or was. But all he did was make everything worse. Made it hurt. I just wish he could have looked at me and believed that, maybe, I knew what I was talking about.” She turned her head to look at him. “Why’d you come after me?”

“I was hired to keep you safe.”

“That’s it?”

“I’m very good at my job. I take it very seriously. Though, I’ll be honest. I’ve had your lot try and stab me, kick me, light me on fire, one tried to bury me in zombies and even had one break my arm with her blasted golem. Never had one turn into a moose and run off.”

Her cheeks turned red. “I was a reindeer, NOT a moose. How’d you even find me?”

“A blind man could have followed your trail. Did you really think you were going to out run me?”

“Yes.”

Gervas shook his head. “You left a simple to follow trail, running the way you were. Then you just barreled into the woods. What were you thinking?”

“I was going to hide and rest, so I could recover my magic.”

“Well, that worked well for you, didn’t it?” he asked. “I was ready to tan your hide when I found you. Those idiots were on the verge of doing it for me.”

Guilt fluttered in her stomach. “What happened? What did you do?”

“Spooked them in the middle of their argument. I think they were planning to toss you into a river, one of them wasn’t keen on it, though. They might even be here somewhere.”

She sat up, panic in her voice. “Here? As in HERE here? How do you know? Have you seen them? Are they--”

“Calm down,” he snapped, silencing her. “I said they might be here. I didn’t get a good look at them, I was distracted by you. You were muttering something about… I wanna say goats. Possibly fish, though. You might have been trying to use magic for all I know.”

“I think I kind of remember water. They just ran off?”

“If they hadn’t, they’d likely be dead,” Gervas said, his voice cold as ice. “I never got a good look at their faces.”

“You’d have killed them? It was an accident!”

“You don’t accidentally throw someone into a river to hide their body.”

“But they… oh. Why’d you bring me here? Why not back to Neil?”

“Frankly, I didn’t think you’d survive that long a trip. Most lords have some kind of healer, if not a mage, then someone like Peter. It’s invaluable and they have enough resources to make it worth staying around. Those that don’t hire one usually have at least someone who can deal with more severe injuries. If Peter hadn’t been here, I would have gone back to Neil, but I’d have preferred to avoid that.”

“Why? He seemed nice.”

“Because not a lot of you mages like the notion of magevoid bindings. If he’d known what this thing on my arm was, he’d have likely kicked me out of town the moment we arrived,” Gervas said flatly. “I figured there were good odds there’d be someone here who could help you. The arrows were one thing, but those blows to the head? I can’t deal with things like that. Besides, I didn’t know if you’d survive the trip back to Neil.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry, I just--” Her words were cut off when he rested his hand on her head, patting it softly and drawing a blush from her.

“It’s not your fault. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s mine. If I’d listened to you from the onset, you wouldn’t have felt you had to run. Just promise not to run off like that again.”

“As long as you don’t try to stop me from being a girl, I promise I’ll let you keep protecting me,” she said.

“Deal. Now then. I have one more question for you.” He pointed to the dagger at her belt. “Do you even know how to use that?”

“O-of course I do!” she said, her cheeks tinting red. ‘It’s a dagger. You stab the pointy end into the thing you don’t like and hack at things you need cut. A child could do it.”

“That’s about what I expected.” He got to his feet and held out his hand towards her. “Come on.”

“What?” she asked, slowly taking his hand and letting him haul her to her feet.

“We’re going to be traveling on the road together for… who knows how long. I’m going to teach you how to defend yourself.”

She stared at him. “You want to teach me how to dagger fight?”

“No, defend yourself. I fight, you just survive long enough for me to save you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You severely underestimate me.”

“You’re a mage. If you were any good at keeping yourselves alive, I would be out of a job.”