Her True Form

Yvette groaned, her eyes slowly beginning to open.

She felt incredible. There was no more pain. The bed she was laying on felt as if it was made of silk, the fabric flowing around her. She tried to remember where she was, but all she could draw was a blank. She looked around and stopped when her eyes fell on Gervas. He was asleep, sitting in a chair a few feet from the bed. She couldn’t imagine why he chose to rest there. The room she was in was massive, with at least a dozen other beds lined up against the wall.

“Gervas?” she asked softly. She jolted when all of the memories hit her like a hammer. Her stomach started to rebel when the memories of her stabbing Wimark flooded her mind. She tried to hold it back, but the vile memories assaulted her and she finally rolled over, gagging over the side of the bed. Her stomach was too empty, resulting in nothing more than painful dry heaving.

A hand was gently placed against her back, rubbing it softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay...” Gervas whispered.

Slowly, the revulsion and horror began to die down and she found herself able to focus on the hand on her back, not on the act she had committed. The heaving stopped and she closed her eyes, going limp on the bed. “I killed him...” she whispered.

“He was going to kill us.”

“I still… I...”

“It’s not your fault. If you hadn’t, we’d have both died. Plenty of other people already had,” he said gently, while his hand moved in tight circles along her back. “It’s okay. It’s not easy the first time.”

“You wanted me to do this to you?”

“You didn’t hesitate this time, did you?”

She shook her head. At least, she didn’t think she hesitated. It was all a blur. She was stabbing and fighting for not just her life, but for both their lives. She felt another bout of nausea wash over her and she focused on the hand again. “Where are we?”

“The vault. We made it here, thanks to you.”

“I feel both amazing and like I’m going to be sick forever. How long was I unconscious?”

“We escaped last night,” he whispered gently. “It’s...” He glanced across the room, a small window revealed the horizon, a beautiful shade of purple and orange. “Dusk, now. I think. I drifted off this morning once I… I’m sorry. I tried to stay awake so you’d have me when you woke up. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

She nodded and slowly sat up, holding the blanket tight against her chest before leaning forward, placing her head against his chest. “Thank you...” she whispered.

“I didn’t do much. I--”

“I’d be dead if not for you.”

“You were…” He trailed of and shook his head. There was a light creaking from across the room, drawing both their gaze.

The woman who walked into the room drew Yvette’s breath away. The woman looked nearly twice her age, at least, with long hair that had likely long since turned gray by the time Yvette had even been born. However, despite her great age the only wrinkles on her face were smile lines. She walked with a dignity and grace that Yvette could only one day hope to have, a firmness in each step and movement that rivaled that of women a fourth her age.

The woman didn’t hesitate, walking down to the two of them. Her eyes glimmered like silver, filled with wisdom that Yvette would have to spend a lifetime gathering, yet warm and kind. Just looking at the older woman made her feel calm, as if everything was going to be okay now that she was here. However, most impressive of all was the purple robe she wore. Covered in arcane runes, it seemed to catch every speck of light in the room, glimmering off it as if it was made of silver or gold.

Yvette glanced to Gervas and noticed he looked frustrated and annoyed, staring at the elder woman intently. She turned back to the majestic woman.

“How are you feeling, Yvette? I was told that was what you preferred to be called?” the woman offered.

“Yes, I’m Yvette. I’m a girl,” she said softly, gripping Gervas a little tighter while she stared. She felt her stomach knotting. She didn’t want this woman, of all people, to get mad at her for this assertion.

Instead, the mage nearly nodded. “Of course. Well then, Yvette. I am Grandmaster Cecily. A pleasure to meet you. I hear I have you to thank for dealing with Wimark.”

She nodded softly. “He tried to kill us.”

“Indeed, he even succeeded,” Cecily said with a shake of her head. “I think I managed to repair most of the damage but… well... If you feel any oddities, please let me know. Pulling someone from the brink like that can cause issues.”

Yvette let out a soft whimper. “I… died?”

“For a few seconds, yes. The magic to bring you back was not easy on your body. When I got my hands on you, you were past the point of no return for less experienced mages.”

“Am I going to die again? Is this just a--”

“No, no, it isn’t necromancy,” Cecily said with a light laugh. “Heavens no. It was only a few moments, child. There are methods even without magic that can bring one back from that. But the damage was still quite severe, so please take care to let me know if anything feels wrong. And, accordingly, does anything?”

Yvette looked down at herself, then up at Gervas. She slowly shook her head. “Everything feels as good… no, better than it ever has.”

“Wonderful, that is a relief. I’d hate to have had you deal with this nasty issue of mine and then left you the less for it,” she said with a light laugh that warmed Yvette’s heart.

“Who was he? Master Wimark?”

Cecily’s smile wavered and she shook her head. “He was a fool. He visited the vault a few months ago, though I never would have imagined he had such an atrocity planned. If I had known, I never would have allowed him to leave.”

“Of course not,” Yvette said quickly. “But what was he after?”

“I am the guardian of the vault. I cannot abandon this place and leave it unprotected. He was likely hoping that he could drive me off, perhaps even defeat me. We were aware that something was going on. Someone was attacking those who came and left the vault, but we had no idea who until now. A number of my apprentices had been captured by him and...”

“Sacrificed?”

The aged mage gave a small nod, her lips tightening for a few moments. She then shook her head. “It is my fault. I never should have sent any of them to deal with what I believed were just foolish bandits.”

“If you had gone, perhaps this could have been stopped a lot sooner,” Gervas said.

“Gervas!” Yvette said quickly, her eyes widening. She could see the other mage cringe back from the words.

“It is quite alright, I understand his frustration,” Cecily said before shaking her head. “But I cannot leave my post for any reason, that is the oath I have taken. You, of all people, know that Gervas. To leave the treasures here undefended could be far more destructive than the work of a hundred fallen mages.”

“Instead, people die so you don’t have to deal with an issue only you are capable of stopping,” Gervas said.

Yvette shook her head. “I’m so sorry, please ignore him. He doesn’t understand,” she said quickly. She reached out and pinched his side. “Thank you, Grandmaster Cecily, for everything. Would you please leave me to talk with my guardian?”

“Of course,” the mage said before turning back towards the door. She paused for a moment before glancing back. Her eyes were filled with amusement and something else Yvette couldn’t identify. “While I do understand the ahhh… excitement you both feel, do be careful. Not all mages of my rank are quite so accepting of relationships forming between younger mages and their guardians. It is still quite the taboo to allow such desires to interfere with your growth.”

Yvette’s eyes widened. “W-what? We’re not in a relationship!” she said quickly, pulling away from Gervas, unable to ignore the redness that flooded his face.

“We are not. But, if we were, it would be no business of yours, grandmaster,” Gervas snapped, his voice filled with a sharp edge Yvette hadn’t heard from him before.

“Of course you’re not,” Cecily said before she started walking again. “Even if nothing can come of it, do remember the position you both hold. Especially you, Gervas,” She stepped out from the room, closing the door lightly behind her.

“W-we’re not in a… YOU don’t think we’re in one, do you?” she asked, staring up at him.

He blinked a few times and glared down at her. “Of course not. My job is to protect you. My interest is nothing more than that.” That edge filled those words as well.

“Right! And I just need you to protect me. That’s all. She’s just reading into things too much.”

“Exactly. That’s what she does,” Gervas said before getting to his feet. “How are you feeling? Can you walk?”

“I can but ummm...”

“What?”

“I need my clothes...” she mumbled. “Where are they?”

“Here,” Gervas said before kneeling and reaching under the bed. He pulled out a small stack of garments.

At first, she thought they were hers. However, when she picked them up she realized they were a bit smaller and the stitching was set differently. On top of that, the coloration was a little lighter. “These… aren’t mine.”

“They’re not. After the fight, yours were so soiled in blood and torn up, she offered to get you a new one. I told her you’d prefer one like this, a girl’s robe. Because you’re a girl,” he said, before turning his back to her. “Get dressed and I’ll show you around.”

She nodded and stared up at him, smiling none the less. Slowly, she began to slide on the garments. “You know the worst thing about being a mage some days?”

“What?” he asked, glancing back.

“Since we’ve left home, I haven’t worn anything but these robes,” she said with a light chuckle. “I have a bag filled with other clothes and I haven’t had an opportunity to wear any of them.”

“Most people don’t change their garments that often. Especially not mages. People expect a mage to wear a robe.”

“True enough,” she mumbled. Once she was again covered, she swung her feet over the side of the bed and glanced down, quickly finding her boots on the ground. “You can look now,” she said before she pulled the boots on and began to tie them.

“How do you feel? Any pain? Anything?” Gervas asked before turning to face her.

“I feel amazing!” she said before jumping to her feet. A wave of light headedness washed over her and she stumbled forward. Gervas quickly moved in to grab her, holding her steady.

“Even if you feel good, don’t push yourself. You’ve still been through a lot, healing magic or not,” he whispered. “If not for that, you’d be dead.”

“Y-yeah,” she whispered before feeling herself steady. “You can let me go. Thank you. What happened?”

“You lost consciousness. I had to carry you out, but we weren’t very far out of the caverns when you fainted. I… thought you were dead,” he said softly. “They knew something was out here, they just didn’t know where. Wimark had already captured more than a few people, they just had no idea where he was or even who he was,” Gervas said with a shake of his head. “Redwood and Chestnut weren’t far, they’re too smart for that. Came straight to me once they were sure there wasn’t any danger. With them, I made my way towards the vault and ran into a pair of the grandmaster’s apprentices with an escort. They set off a message to the grandmaster and once we arrived, she took you back. After that there were a lot of questions. I told them everything I could, but I’m not sure they believed it.”

Yvette nodded, glancing towards the door once more. “She seemed okay with me being Yvette.”

“She had some concerns about your clothing choices. I convinced her that you were Yvette, nobody else,” Gervas said, his cheeks turning red.

She nodded slowly. “Do you think we can trust her?”

“No. She’s not...” He gave a soft sigh. “No. She’s not one of the good ones.”

Yvette stared up at him, a frown on her face. She suspected there was something he wasn’t telling her, but she let it go for now. “I see,” she whispered. “You can let me go.”

“Are you sure? You’re not going to fall over again, are you? You just almost died, I don’t want to risk it again.”

“I’m fine, I swear,” she said, trying and failing to stop the blush from coloring her cheeks darker. “Can you show me around? I’ve never been here before.”

“There’s not a lot to see,” he said with a small chuckle. “But come on.” He took her hand, making the red in her cheeks only darken, and pulled her after him.

Her mind wandered to what Cecily said. In a relationship with him? There was absolutely no way she could be in one. She couldn’t think of a single reason he’d even be interested in someone like her. He’d spent so much of his life around mages, most likely more impressive than her. Ones without her unique issue, as well. But there was also the way Gervas talked about the elder mage, had what she said upset him so much? Maybe he did have feelings like that and now he was mad that they’d been noticed?

She shook her head. She couldn’t even consider such a thing until she had managed to succeed. There was a long, hard road ahead of her. She couldn’t allow someone else to get dragged into it, especially not him. If she wanted to be herself, she had to be willing to deal with the consequences alone.

Gervas was just a friend, she reminded herself. Someone who seemed to truly understand her. Accept her. She’d never give that up for anyone. But she couldn’t tell him the full truth until she’d succeeded.

“This is the great hall,” he said, snapping her from her thoughts.

“What?”

He motioned forward. He’d taken her to a massive chamber filled with three tables. Each table seemed to be made of a single mass of stone, as if it was risen from the ground itself, with stone benches on either side. They were dozens of feet long, spanning the entirety of the hall. “While we’re here, this is where we’ll be having our meals.”

“Is there that many people?” she whispered, staring at the tables. They could easily have fit a hundred people at them.

“Not right now, no. But I’ve been here at times where there were so many people this chamber could have been filled three or four times over, even with people standing. Are you hungry?”

“A little bit.”

He pulled her to the nearest table and motioned for her to sit, before turning and leaving through the door they’d come through. She sat down and gave a soft sigh, glancing around. The hall was almost entirely empty, only a few mages in the apprentice robes were sitting far across the room.

Occasionally they glanced at her, but kept their heads low and avoided meeting her gaze. It took her a few moments to realize why.

She was a journeyman now. Less than a month ago she would have been the same way. Keeping her head down, doing everything she could to avoid drawing attention to herself unless called on by a higher ranking mage to speak up. She glanced down at her blue robes and gave a soft sigh.

It had been such a short time, yet she had already almost died twice. Both times it was only thanks to Gervas that she had managed to survive. The first time had been an accident that had gotten worse. The second time was caused by a fellow mage. Even if she could get the spell, would it make a difference?

Could she do this on her own? If anyone found out, she’d be an enemy of mages everywhere. A fallen mage who had abandoned their ways in order to pursue her own, selfish goals. She wouldn’t be welcomed anywhere. Any mage who knew who she was would do their best to end her themselves.

How would she possibly be able to do this on her own? It all suddenly felt so daunting and impossible, as if she was trying to climb a steep mountain with an arm and leg tied behind her back and no magic. Just the thought made her feel like crying.

If it was impossible, if she couldn’t fight this alone, what would she do? Could she accept being this way? Could she accept never being able to be herself fully? Those scant moments where she was able to be fully herself, fully a girl, felt so incredible she couldn’t imagine ever giving them up.

But it also felt wonderful when she was near Gervas. When he defended her and said she was a girl. When he treated her as the woman she was. She slowly put a hand over her heart and gave a soft, happy sigh.

He’d made a few mistakes. But he was trying. He believed in her. Supported her. Protected her. She knew it was such a minor thing, but it made this burden feel so much lighter to have someone who didn’t add to it. Who even helped her carry it sometimes.

Why did she have to choose between one or the other?

“You seem to be thinking rather hard,” Gervas’ voice cut through her thoughts, making her jump.

“What?” she asked, turning to see him. He slid a plate in front of her before dropping a few utensils on top of it.

“Here. Eat this. Don’t ask what it is.”

She eyed it for a moment, unable to even guess. It was some kind of meat, that she knew. But it was bright red. She timidly cut off a small piece before placing it into her mouth. It was a bit sweet and spicy, but good. Very moist and practically melting in her mouth. She swallowed before looking to him. “What is it?”

“Trust me. Don’t ask.”

“But--”

“Just enjoy the meal.”

She nodded, glancing to his own plate that had a similar meal on it. He didn’t have any issue cutting into it and eating, she didn’t see why she should. She devoured the meal, surprising herself at how hungry she suddenly felt. All of the fighting and healing had taken more out of her than she’d initially realized. Before she knew it, her plate was empty and she felt a small pang of hunger in her stomach, staring sadly at the empty plate.

“Still hungry?” he asked with a light chuckle.

“W-what? No, I--” She was cut off when he slid his plate onto hers, his meal only half eaten.

“Here. You were making those sad eyes at your plate.”

“I-I was not. I can’t eat this, you--”

“I’m not the one who just woke up from nearly dying. If you are hungry, eat. You still have to recover.”

“But--”

“No arguments. I will force feed you it if I have to. Wounds like that take a lot to heal.”

She nodded and slowly cut into the meal, her cheeks burning.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked, smiling across the table at her.

She paused for a moment before swallowing another mouthful. “How much harder this entire ordeal would have been if it wasn’t for you. I’d have died twice now if not for you.”

“Five times.”

She paused, eyeing him. “Wait, what? I was only stabbed and--”

“Trust me. There were three more times you came really close to doing something dangerous that, if I hadn’t stopped you, you wouldn’t have survived.”

“Like when?” she asked, glaring at him.

“You were eyeing some red berries on the side of the road a few hours after we left.”

She shrugged. “I don’t remember that,”

“They were poisonous. Then there was the roads themselves. Mages by themselves are easy targets. Despite all your magic, all it takes is a simple arrow or a club to the back of the head and you’re out. Didn’t you wonder why I chose this particular path to get us here?”

Yvette flushed. She hadn’t thought much about why he’d chosen this path. It hadn’t been the shortest path from home to here, but it hadn’t been a long enough journey for her to really worry about it. “Because it was easy? Just follow along the forest edge?”

“Because people tend to avoid hiding in those woods. Too many rumors of monsters. That fear usually makes this one of the safest routes since so many people avoid it. Things like that are the reason I was hired to begin with. Not to mention you’re kind of… well...”

“What?”

“Helpless on your own.”

“I-I am not! I’ve been working very hard to--”

“Not you specifically. Mages.”

“We have magic! We study our whole lives to--”

“To learn arcane arts, all those different spells and abilities. But you don’t learn a lot more, do you? How to setup a tent, for example?” he asked, his lips turning into a cocky smile. “Or hunt?”

She sunk a little in her chair and shook her head. “Well, no, we--”

“That’s why guardians like me exist. You mages don’t ever learn to take care of yourselves. If you were left out to your own devices? You’d be dead in a week. Likely less. It’s not easy keeping you lot safe.”

Yvette lowered her eyes and gave another soft sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“But some of you are worth it. Ones like you, at least.”

“You think I’m worth it?” she asked, her heart beating a little faster.

“I’d be dead now if not for you. There aren’t a lot of mages I know who’d put on a magevoid bracer. You’re definitely one of the good ones,” he said with a light chuckle. “Now, hurry up, finish your food and I’ll take you to the vault.”

She nodded, polishing off the meat before getting quickly to her feet. While she still felt a little hungry, the draw of the vault was too much for her to ignore. He chuckled and rose a bit slower, leading her away. This time when she walked the halls, she paid a bit more attention. The halls she walked through seemed to be carved through the stone, rather than the massive slabs that her master’s tower were made from. Even more than that, it felt hot. At times she noticed that the walls were caked in a black, shiny stone. It took her a few minutes to realize what it was.

Obsidian. It was with a start she finally realized that she wasn’t in a massive cave. She was inside the volcano itself. She’d known that part of the vault was inside the volcano, but she’d never imagined the entire structure would be.

That realization made something else spring to her mind. She could see clearly, despite there being no torches or windows to let the sunlight in. Everything was illuminated as if by a light of its own. She closed her eyes for a moment and reached out.

She almost fell over, having to reach out and grip Gervas by his tunic. “Yvette? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, quickly turning around and gripping her by her shoulders. “Do you need to sit down?”

“No,” she whispered. “I’m fine.” She mentally berated herself for her foolishness. When she’d woken up, she’d been so disoriented she hadn’t noticed. By the time she could, it had just been there and she hadn’t thought much about it.

But when she reached out, she could feel the raw magic surging through this place. Magic so powerful it could almost be touched. Stronger than anything she had ever felt. Yet so subtle that it was easy to ignore unless you tried to find it. It was just there, waiting.

Slowly she pulled away from him and gave a sheepish smile. “Thank you.”

“If you’re not feeling well, we can--”

“I’m fine, really,” she said with a shake of her head. “Please, let’s go.”

He nodded and continued walking down the hall.

She didn’t doubt this place truly was the birthplace of magic. All of that power she felt throbbing through the walls, yet somehow it was still so subtle that unless she tried to feel it, it almost seemed faded.

“Well well, feeling better I take it?” Cecily asked when the two entered another chamber. This chamber was only about half the size of the great hall, with a few connecting hallways like the one they had come through. However, there was another tunnel off on their right that she could see opened up to the outside world. It gazed out over the land, allowing her to see the trees, fields and road they had taken to get here, as well as a few other roads that connected with it. On the left side of the chamber she could see Cecily standing in front of a massive, metal door covered in arcane runes, some so faded she couldn’t even make them out.

Those she could make out were obvious, though. Protection charms. There were more charms on that door than she’d ever seen in the entirety of her apprenticeship.

“Yes,” Yvette said softly. “Gervas is showing me around. What’s in there?” she asked gently.

“The vault. I knew you’d find your way here eventually,” the elder woman said before lightly patting the door. “I assume you want to see what’s within it?”

“Y-yes! If I could!” she said, before glancing to Gervas. “Is that--”

“It’s why we came here, isn’t it? Inspiration?” he asked. He then leaned in and whispered to her ear. “Just be careful.” Before she could ask why, he pulled away from her. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Oh? Are you sure? You’re more than welcome to join us,” Cecily offered.

“I’ve seen it enough,” he said curtly before turning and walking back down the hall they’d come.

“Of course you have.” The aged mage shook her head, before turning towards the door. “Yvette, was it? If you’d come with me.”

Yvette slowly walked forward, glancing back towards the hall Gervas had headed down. “Why doesn’t he want to come?”

“Oh, he’s just bitter, I suppose,” Cecily said before she reached into her robe and pulled out a key.

Yvette stared, her mouth falling open at the sight of it. It seemed to be crafted of gold, with diamond teeth on the edge. “Is that...”

“The key to the vault,” Cecily said with a chuckle. “The one and only. As far as I can imagine, what Wimark had been after.” She slid it into the solid door. Despite there being no hole, it slid in easily and, with a turn, the door began to creak and groan before it began to, very slowly, open towards them. The grandmaster pulled the key free, leaving the door still solid. “It is my duty, as well as the duty of all grandmasters who guarded this vault before me, to keep it safe at all times. The only way into the vault.”

Yvette nodded slowly, watching the key disappear back into the woman’s robes, a single thought going through her mind.

She had to get that key. Somehow.