Smile
“Mmmmmm…” I groaned, shifting around as I continued to be assaulted by pain.
Beeping sounds entered my ears, and the smell of chemical cleaners entered my nose.
My mouth tasted dry and gross. My body was sore all over and I felt light headed. I groggily opened my eyes to see a white ceiling above me.
I closed my eyes just to open them a second later.
Huh?
I rolled my eyes to search the room and I quickly found out that I was lying in a hospital bed.
It took a second for it to kick in as to why I was there, but once my memories came back they hit me like a freight train.
My chest tightened, and my stomach twisted into a knot. My ears immitedaily started watering, and I started having trouble breathing.
I’m such an idiot.
I was finally being released out of the hospital, and I was waiting around in a chair. My stomach was killing me, my heart was beating a mile a minute, and I had a throbbing headache.
I closed my eyes and took deep breaths just like I was told to.
Mizuki rubbed my back and held my hand. At first it helped, but the guilt only grew worse and I felt sick to my stomach.
I wanted to tell Mizuki to stop, but I didn’t have the heart to.
I don’t deserve any of this. I’m a piece of shit.
After I passed out in Riri’s car she rushed me to the hospital. The hospital called Kenzie as my legal guardian, and she freaked out and rushed to the hospital. After Kenzie arrived at the hospital and spoke to Mizuki and Riri, she called the police.
The police took their reports and visited Saya’s house. Saya was gone, but Morgan was there. From what I heard, she got belligerent with the police and got arrested.
Once I woke up, I had to answer various questions. I didn’t tell the truth, everyone knew that, including Kenzie.
Kenzie finally got back with my medicine. And we stood up to leave the hospital. Kenzie made a complicated face and I avoided eye contact with her.
I told my doctor about what happened in the car and how I’ve been feeling lately. Turns out I had a really bad anxiety attack. He prescribed me some medication for it and some for my stomach when it gets really bad. I don’t know how long I’ll be taking it, but it might be awhile.
If I have that much time…
I took a few days off from school to rest and recover.
It was finally time to go back to school, and I already felt terrible.
I flushed the toilet after puking for the second time this morning.
I washed my hands and brushed my teeth for the second time today. I opened the medicine cabinet and proceeded to take my medicine. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths just like I was instructed. I opened my eyes, staring at my reflection.
My eyes were low and filled with bags. I was pouring sweat, I looked miserable and exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to even put in a fake smile.
I didn’t have any time left to dawdle around, and I dragged my feet out of the bathroom to continue my day.
“Have a nice day, okay?” Kenzie spoke with a crooked smile.
“Of course!” I responded, with the biggest, fakest smile that I could muster.
Kenzie was fixing my uniform while Mizuki stood to the side with a complicated expression.
Neither one of them wanted me to keep going to Marshall’s Academy, but I refused to budge. Why? I don’t know. There's no point.
It was a long and awkward walk to the train station and school. Things have been pretty much the same at home. Kenzie is concerned about me, but disappointed that I lied to her and everyone else. Mizuki… I don’t know how she feels.
I’m growing accustomed to the stares and whispers that I get at school. So I naturally drowned it all out. Same as before, Jennifer dragged me to the nurses office.
“Thank you.” I announced as we arrived at the door.
“What?!” Jennifer screamed, as she turned around.
I gave Jennifer a light hug, as her body went stiff. I knew she was uncomfortable so I quickly released her. She had a blank stare and her face was almost as red as her hair.
Hmm.. She's cute in her own way. I’m glad I got to hug her at least once.
I walked into the nurses office, leaving Jennifer dumbfounded and alone in the hallway.
“Hey!” I announced as I was greeted to the sight of the ever so bodacious Ms.Munez.
“Hello!” She beamed a smile toward me, and lightly waved.
I don’t know if it was because of the light hitting her, but she looked like a goddess! I was taken aback and only came back to reality when I saw Ms.Munez laughing.
I coughed lightly, ignoring the burning sensation on my cheeks.
I sat down in a chair and left Ms.Munez to her work.
“So how are you feeling?” Ms.Munez asked, while rebandaging the hand that Saya bit.
“I’m doing great as you can see.” I pointed at my beat up body.
Ms.Munez rolled her eyes lightly while a small laugh escaped her mouth. “You must be if you can make jokes like that.”
Ms.Munez finished bandaging my hand and checked my face.
After she was done, I took advantage of the situation and hugged her as well.
“Thank you.” I lightly wrapped my arms around Ms.Munez, I planned to let her go almost immediately, but to my surprise she hugged me back.
“Enjoy the rest of your day, okay?” Ms. Munez announced as she let me go.
I was dumbfounded by her beauty once more, and couldn’t move.
Ms.Munez lightly tapped my chest with her finger and started pushing me out of the office. “Go.” Ms.Munez whispered with a soft smile.
I stood at the door after it closed, my mind a chaotic mess.
…..Thank you God!
I headed to my homeroom with an extra pep in my step.
It’s not all bad, I guess.
I opened the door to my homeroom, and there was Jason, surrounded by all of the girls and Sarah…again..
Logically, I should try to separate Sarah from him, but I just don’t have the energy anymore.
I fucking hate this guy! Enjoy it while you can, bastard!
I sighed, hanging my head while walking to my seat.
Riri made eye contact with me, but quickly averted her eyes.
My stomach twisted a little, and my heart sped up a bit. But, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths like I was instructed, quickly calming myself down.
“I.. just wanted to say thank you.. And I’m sorry.” After saying this, I quickly walked away.. Or more like ran away.
Riri went out of her way to take me to the hospital. Not only that, but she bought me a fruit bouquet while I was in the hospital. A sorry and a thank you is the least that I can do.
I really misjudged her. All based off of this stupid game.
I sat down in my seat, and put my head down. I haven’t been sleeping well and school is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be.
I wonder what Saya’s doing?
My chest tightened and my stomach twisted again. I repeated the breathing technique, letting the fatigue wash over me as my eyelids started to close.
“Hey.” A soothing voice entered my ears, and a soft hand touched my shoulder.
I.really.hate.this.guy.
I looked up to see Jason looking down at me with a complicated expression on his face. His hands were shaking, and he was breathing hard.
“What do you-“
“Please take this?!” From behind his back, Jason presented me with a basket filled with snacks and a brown teddy bear. How he hid this basket, I don’t know.
At this point, the girls erupted into screams and were fawning over Jason.
This.. was this all a ploy?! To make yourself look good?! You Motherfucker!
I felt a headache coming on, and I had an almost undeniable urge to knock the basket out of his hands.
My heart was thumping like a drum, and I balled my fist up. I jumped out of my seat, causing Jason to stumble backwards. “You! You…”
Jason had a weird look on his face, and was red all the way up to his ears. He was trembling non stop, and looked like he was on the verge of tears.
What if.. what if he’s actually a good person?
My heart beat started slowing down, and my headache started getting better.
What if… I’m the piece of shit?
“S..s..s..” Tears rolled down my face, and I started choking on my words.
As embarrassing as it is, Jason hugged me and I cried into his chest. The girls were making random noises, but I didn’t care.
Afterwards, everyone offered me words of encouragement. I guess it got to be too much, when Sarah had to disperse everyone.
It was lunchtime and I was searching for a place to sit again. Luckily, I found Hannah sitting alone again.
Well.. maybe this isn’t a good thing? She may not have any friends during this lunch period.
“What’s up?” I said, as I sat down across from Hannah.
“Hello!” Hannah shouted once she noticed me.
She looked down, covering her face with her hair.
I think she was a little bit embarrassed because of her sudden outburst.
That’s pretty cute honestly.
I knocked on the table before reaching my fist out for a fist bump. Hananah jerked in her seat, but once she saw my fist she made a slight smile before bumping my fist.
“It’s good to see you.” I announced, as I opened my milk.
“Yeah.. same here.” Hannah said softly, but with a little more vigor than she normally has.
“How have things been?” I asked, taking a sip from my milk.
“Fine.” Hannah replied.
I guess I’m going to have to lead the conversation again. Hopefully she doesn’t dislike me.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Someone needs to have a decent day.” I said softly, almost whispering the last sentence.
Hannah opened her mouth, but after a few seconds she closed it. But a second later she repeated the process, and a second later she did it again.
She’s really shy. “Just go ahead and say it.”
“Are you in a relationship with Jason?” Hannah asked quickly.
My body went stiff, and my brain short circuited for a moment. “I..I’m sorry. What did you just say to me?”
“Well..” Hannah fidgeted before beginning to speak again. “People are saying you and Jason are in a relationship and that you two had a fight and he brought you a basket to make up. And then you cried, and-“
“Enough.” I raised a hand, my mind reeling.
I have to stop these rumors. The last thing that I need is to be labeled a homosexual.
“Why do you keep believing these rumors about me?” I asked, almost in disbelief.
“Well.. I don’t. But.. if you and Jason…” Hannah put her head back down. Trailing her words before she stopped talking.
“Hello?” I asked, attempting to break the silence.
Hannah didn’t respond, she didn’t even move.
I reached across the table to lightly tap her head, and she jumped in response.
“Oh, sorry.” Hannah responded, looking confused.
“Well, okay...” I replied.
“How long were you in the hospital for?” Hannah suddenly asked.
“How does everyone know this?” I asked, without pause.
“Well.. Jason kind of made a scene…” Hannah responded.
This guy? Again? “What??”
“When you didn’t show up for school, he went around and asked everyone about you. No one knew, but everyone saw Riri leave school with you. And he.."
“Can I sit here?” Hannah’s voice was cut off when the culprit in question arrived.
Jason sat down without our permission and started eating. It’s not like he needed our permission, but it would have been nice if he at least asked.
The girls at the surrounding tables were staring daggers at us. Whispering, what I assume to be very nasty things according to the dirty looks on their faces.
So much for the gay rumors..
What is Jason doing here anyway? This is the first time that I’ve seen him during this lunch period?
“So what were you two talking about?” Jason asked, flashing his thousand watt smile at us.
Hannah looked nervous, and averted her eyes.
“Nothing.” I replied.
“Oh, I thought I heard my name.” Jason responded, his smile never breaking.
“No, you didn’t.” I snapped back.
Jason turned his gaze to Hannah, before he turned his attention back to me. “Okay.”
We spent the rest of our lunch in random stints of awkward silence, and uncomfortably due to all of the envious stares of girls around us.
Jason tried to make conversation with us a few times, but Hannah is shy, and I’m still on the fence about him. I feel kind of bad saying that after he gave me that nice basket and all, but I just find his behavior.. odd. Like, how did he show up right at that moment?
Various questions about Jason filled my head all the way until the end of the day. Which was a blessing in disguise because it distracted me from thinking about Saya and this world's impending doom including mine.
Fuck! I thought about it again!
“Jeff!” Ririr shouted as she walked over to me. “I need to talk to you!”
I feel like this is starting to become a common occurrence.
“Why do you always… Did you just call me Jeff?” I replied.
“Y-yeah. Why are you acting like it’s a big deal?” Riri responded with a strange expression on her face.
If I bring attention to the fact she didn’t call me whiteboy, she might do it again.
“Oh.. no reason. Nevermind. So what’s up?” I quickly followed up.
“I..uh..” Riri stumbled over her words, and appeared to be panicked for some reason. “Follow me!”
Riri turned around and started walking towards the door.
“Wait! What?!” I asked as I jumped to my feet.
I followed behind Riri when she didn’t reply.
Why is she such a troublesome person?
As soon as I exited the classroom, I heard a very familiar voice.
“Hey!” Jason was standing next to the door with an amiable smile.
It kind of threw me off, and caused me to bump into Riri.
“Oh sor-“
“Are you okay?” Jason asked, looking directly at me.
“Uhh.. yeah?” Why didn’t he ask her?
Riri was glaring at Jason, but he didn’t seem to be affected by it at all. He just kept looking at me.
I have to find out what happened between them.
“What are you two doing?” Jason asked.
“I-“
“None of your business.” Riri interjected, grabbing my arm.
Riri tried to drag me away, but Jason stepped in front of us.
“Excuse me!” Riri screamed.
Jason’s eyes twitched. It was so fast and so subtle that I barely noticed.
Jason stood in front of us for what seemed like an eternity.
I shot Riri a look and she shot me one back.
Jason suddenly presented the friendliest smile ever.
“Take care of yourself.” Jason suddenly announced, still looking directly at me. Right after he walked right past us without another word.
“What the fuck was that about?!” Rir screamed as she dragged me away.
I looked behind us, watching Jason’s retreating figure. “I…I don’t know.”
Something about that smile…