[̷̞̇Ḧ̶̖ê̸̯l̴̼̒p̶͖̊ ̷̣̑m̷̯̄e̴͎͌]̵̤̽ (This is ARG/Meta-narrative/Satire)

Fairy Teacher Explains Elemental Magic?



Thanks again to Ella! I really hope we can meet up in person some time, and that you stop getting those weird creepy messages. And sorry these chapters are so short >.< I’ll try to make them longer in the future. Unless people like them this way…?

 

Class prez and I both sat and watched the fairy as she lectured.

 

“My name is Asnomia, and you’re in the world of Feyma, on the continent Asgriel, in the Kingdom of Lusitia. You’re not the first people from your world we’ve had visit, though it’s been a long time, but fortunately fairies like me live long!” She did a little twirl, sparkles flinging off of her.

 

“In Feyma, magic exists, and there are demihuman races that don’t exist on your world. The main seven races are humans, elves, Liloi, mer, beastkin, fairies, and jinn.”

 

I raised my hand. She pointed at me. “Yes, heroine?”

 

I scowled at being called that. “I’m not the heroine! But… what are Liloi?”

 

“I was about to get to that. So, each of the seven races also corresponds to a different element. The seven elements are fire, wind, water, earth, wood, metal, and spirit.”

 

I turned to see class prez furiously jotting down notes in a notebook. Where did he--er, she?-- even get that?!

 

He raised his hand.

 

“Yes?” Asnomia said.

 

“Which race corresponds to which element? I mean, obviously mer are water, jinn are fire, fairies are wind, and elves are wood, but what about the other three?”

 

Goddess! I couldn’t follow that at all. How could he figure out that much?!

 

“Great question! Glad to see you’re up to the task of learning all about this world, which is your first duty as hero. To answer your question, humans are earth, beastkin are spirit, and Liloi are metal. I should probably explain those last two. Beastkin are humanoids that have some animal characteristics, such as wolf, fox, or cat. For example, the heroine here.”

 

Uwa? Me?!

 

Sure enough, I reached up and patted my head again. There were those two fuzzy protrusions--ears?! I had animal ears?!

 

I quickly felt around the rest of my body and found a fuzzy thing coming out of my--ahem--butt! Well, lower back. It was a tail!

 

I was groping my front when I saw class prez gawking at me, his nose pouring blood. Jeez, hadn’t the prez seen someone touch boobs before?

 

The fairy cleared her throat and continued as if nothing had happened. “And the Liloi are small people that look like children but they’ve all been around for thousands of years. A great enchanter made them all, crafted from metal and magic, but you can’t tell by looking at them. They’re great with their hands and often make or fix machinery.”

 

Hooray, someone to fix my computer when I broke it, as happened frequently. Wait, were there even any computers in this fantasy world?! Where would I watch my anime!?

 

Class prez narrowed his steely gaze at the fairy and cut right to the heart of the matter. “So, why was I summoned? I assume there’s an existential threat to your world?”

 

Asnomia sighed. “That’s right. The demon queen and her seven generals have been taking over Asgriel and will soon take Lusitia, the last kingdom standing. It’s your job to stop her and restore peace and order to the world.”

 

Seven? I thought there were supposed to be four? This is so unfair!

 

“So… why is she here?” prez asked, pointing at me. Rude! Obviously I was there to lift everyone’s spirits and bring light to the world.

 

“No idea,” the fairy said, crushing that fantasy. “She must have been caught up in the summoning by accident. The spell usually summons one main hero, and any additional people become heroines in the hero’s har--I mean, party. Unfortunately neither of you can return until the Demon Queen is defeated, so I guess she’ll just have to tag along. Assuming she doesn’t get in the way.”

 

Hey! I may be clumsy, and not very bright, and irresponsible and a little lazy, but… what was I talking about again?

 

I realized I was zoning out and the fairy was talking again. “...And those seven shrines are where you’ll find the elemental orbs you need to defeat the Demon Queen. Without all seven orbs, your powers will be useless against her might.”

 

This was just like when I played that game and skipped all the cutscenes and then didn’t know what to do! They should really design games better for dummies like me.

 

“Who are you, anyway?” prez turned to me and asked. “I think I’d remember a girl like you in my school…”

 

“Wha?! I’m not a girl! I’m Lysander Jenkins, the guy who was carrying papers with you when we tripped!”

 

“Who? Ohh, the weird guy. You played a lot of video games, right? Maybe you’ll be a little helpful on my quest. I never had time for frivolities like that, because I was too busy studying.”

 

I decided to see the bright side. For once, all my time spent reading manga and playing RPGs might be useful! Thank you, Goddess.


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