Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel!

Riven groaned softly and buried his face in the pillow. Every inch of him felt wrung out—sore in that toe-curling, lingering way that made his cheeks warm just thinking about it.

Ronan… That bastard.

He shifted a little, trying to peel himself off the mattress without waking the large man still sprawled against him. But the second he moved, a strong arm wrapped firmly around his waist, pulling him back into the heat of Ronan's chest.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ronan's voice was still thick and low with sleep, vibrating right against Riven's neck.

Riven scowled into the pillow, too tired to muster more than half-hearted irritation.

"Away from you," Riven growled. He really meant it when he said all night. He didn't get to fall asleep until it was four in the morning.

"I know what you did. You exhausted me on purpose."

Ronan's lips curved in a smile against his skin. "Mm. Is that so?"

"Yes!" Riven twisted just enough to look at him, though the motion pulled an embarrassing little ache up his spine. This man exhausted him so that he could not spend time with Soren... Or well... Do it again. He needed a break.

"Shame," Ronan said, utterly unrepentant. He hooked his chin over Riven's shoulder and drew in a slow, deep breath. "You smell so sweet in the morning."

Riven flushed bright red, swatting at his arm. "Stop that. You're impossible."

"I'm just making sure you rest," Ronan countered, sounding far too pleased with himself. "You were running around yesterday, pestering everyone. And drinking."

Riven tried to wriggle free again, but the arm locked around him only tightened, pinning him easily. His muscles were still heavy with fatigue, and to his horror, part of him wanted to melt right back into the safety of Ronan's hold. He was just too sleepy!

He sighed, finally going limp. "Fine," he muttered, sulking. "You win. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

For a moment, it was quiet. Their breathing evened out, their bodies settling into each other.

Riven closed his eyes, scolding himself for enjoying this too much.

One night. That was all it had taken to turn his legs to jelly, he really needed to build up his endurance... Coz this will not do!

Riven jolted awake just past noon, blinking into the bright light pouring through the parted curtains. His entire body felt boneless, as though he'd been dropped into the bed from a great height.

"Shit…" He groaned, pressing a hand over his eyes. It was only when he stretched—and nearly fell out of the bed—that he realised how late it was. He sat bolt upright, mind lurching to the memory of the night before.

Eli.

Eli, flushed pink and sweet, with trembling fingers in his hair. Eli's wide, glassy eyes when he kissed him back. Eli who—

"Fuck!" Riven flung the blankets off himself and stumbled to his feet. He was still in the loose shirt he'd pulled on after Ronan finally let him go, and it smelled distinctly of the Alpha. There was no time to change. He pushed his hair back from his face, wincing at how messy he looked, and practically bolted out of the room.

Eli. He had to find Eli.

He took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the curious look from a passing maid. His bare feet slapped against the polished floor as he reached the front hall.

"Eli!" he called, voice echoing. "Eli, are you still—"

But Eli was long gone! He left the mansion early in the morning.

He rushed to the side parlour where Eli usually set out his little satchel of herbs and notes. Nothing. No sign of the pink-eyed healer anywhere. "Just where..." He left his things...

Riven really hoped that Ronan did not find out about their... Ahem, encounter. But it was unlikely that Ronan had, otherwise he would not have been that loving in the morning.

He pressed his hand over his mouth.

Eli must have woken up early. He probably crept out before anyone else stirred—before Ronan could cross his path and sniff out what had happened.

Riven swallowed hard, his chest tightening. He wanted to have a talk with Eli in the morning, but he quickly slipped out. Was Eli avoiding him? Did he regret what happened? Did he... Come to his senses?!

He headed into the kitchen on autopilot, hoping maybe Eli left a note, something to say he hadn't regretted it. But there was nothing, only the usual orderly rows of jars and the faint scent of herbs.

"Damn it," Riven muttered. He dragged his hand down his face, trying to tamp down the restless, oddly possessive ache in his chest.

He always wanted to get Eli... Maybe more than Soren even!

Eli, the precious bunny healer everyone adored. And now that he finally had a taste of him, he didn't want to let go.

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was the worst thing he could do. But he didn't care.

Eli was his baby. His.

Riven slumped into a kitchen chair, hugging his arms around himself.

He thought about Eli's face—flushed and wet with tears, lips swollen from their kisses.

Out of everyone…

Yep, out of everyone, Eli was his favourite.

He leaned his forehead against the cool table and sighed.

He needed to find Eli. To talk to him. To make sure he didn't have second thoughts. But maybe it was for the best that Eli left? He did not know if he was in a position to protect his bunny if the other two had a problem with it.

Lunch was soon served, but Riven paid no attention. Riven picked at the plate of roasted vegetables and tender cuts of meat, but he hardly tasted any of it. His mind was still drifting, replaying last night's stolen kisses with Eli in a slow, looping reel.

He prodded a carrot around the edge of the porcelain, barely aware of the quiet bustle of the servants clearing and resetting dishes.

He wondered if Eli had even eaten breakfast this morning. If he'd sat alone at his little table in the clinic, cheeks still flushed pink, heart still hammering from what they'd done.

His chest tightened, and he pressed his fork down hard enough to squeak against the plate.

He was so distracted he didn't even notice Ronan's quiet footsteps crossing the dining hall. The Alpha had come in from the side entrance—he must have returned early from handling his morning affairs. Riven didn't look up until a familiar, broad hand brushed lightly over his shoulder.

"Riven," Ronan said, voice low and warm.

Riven blinked, startled, and his gaze finally lifted to meet Ronan's.

"Oh. You're… You're back." His voice sounded a little hoarse, and he cleared his throat. "I didn't hear you." He felt like he was a male lead completely enamoured by the MC Eli that he couldn't even eat properly!

"I could tell," Ronan said with the faintest hint of a smile, though there was something knowing in his eyes. He sank gracefully into the chair beside him, shifting it just a little closer. "You were somewhere else entirely." But now, since he was here, he wanted his mate's attention.

Riven knew exactly what Ronan meant, but he wasn't about to admit whose face he'd been picturing. He nudged a piece of potato around his plate, trying not to squirm under Ronan's patient, perceptive stare.

"Just thinking," he mumbled.

"You've been 'just thinking' all morning," Ronan said gently. "I sent two different servants to check if you were ready to join me for lunch, but apparently you were already here—completely ignoring your food. So what are you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing, just... About my mother. Sorry." That was his crutch okay! Whenever he had to lie, he was going to talk about his mother! However, it was not all his idea, it was something he had to thank Phoebe Buffay for, the OG!

Ronan studied him quietly, and Riven braced himself for a question about what exactly was occupying his thoughts. But Ronan simply leaned back and regarded him with that steady, open calm he always had.

"You don't have to apologise to me," Ronan said at last. "You're allowed to be distracted. You've been through… A lot."

That was one way to put it.

The corners of Riven's mouth curved up, just a little. "Yeah. I guess I have."

They sat together in silence for a moment. It wasn't awkward, thankfully.

Finally, Ronan lifted his gaze and studied Riven's face, his expression softening in a way that made Riven's throat tighten unexpectedly.

"You know," Ronan began, his voice quieter, "I'm going to miss you."

Riven's eyes flicked up to meet his. "What?"

Ronan smiled faintly. "When you leave for the snow leopard territory tomorrow."

"Oh," Riven breathed, and this time his smile came more easily. "Right. That."

"I'll only be gone a week," Riven said, trying to sound casual, though his heart was beating faster. "That's hardly enough time to miss me."