Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel!

Eli frowned, "I can decide what's good for me... I am an adult." He had never liked someone like this before, and he did not want to lose the chance, at least without trying.

"Will you… Want me, even after I said that?"

He sounded pitiful. Like a lost puppy waiting to be kicked aside. But he couldn't help it. He needed to know.

Eli froze. His lips parted, and for a second, he just stared at Riven, as if he was trying to decide whether it would hurt less to be honest or to lie.

Then he swallowed, voice hushed as he answered.

"I don't think anyone…ever made me feel this way."

Riven's chest squeezed tight.

"The circumstances are…" Eli's gaze flickered down to the collar of Riven's robe, then back to his face. "Unfortunate." His voice turned quieter, almost a whisper. "…But I don't mind."

That last part—so soft, so vulnerable—didn't ring entirely true. Eli did mind. It hurt him to think about it, Riven could tell. But he was willing to set those feelings aside for Riven's sake, and that made something heavy and warm and aching bloom in Riven's heart.

Well, if the best he could have is only a portion of Riven's time... He would still take it.

Riven opened his mouth to say something he did not know how to phrase it so that he did not sound like pure scum, but it was something that had to be said. And before he could get a word out, Eli interrupted.

Eli's hand came up, gentle but firm, pressing over Riven's lips to stop the words.

"You… Want to keep this a secret, don't you?" His voice was soft.

Riven hesitated, then nodded once, slowly.

Eli did not cry, he only cried when he thought it wouldn't work out. But... A secret? Although it made him feel like he was a mistress, he would take it. He felt too many emotions to say anything right now. Emotions that he had never felt before.

Jealousy, heartache... Maybe a little obsessiveness. All of these were out of character for him, but they were something he truly felt. And if Riven wanted to keep him a secret...

"…Then it will be our secret," he whispered, voice shaky.

Riven thought that it was when Eli moved again. Eli took the lead, which shocked Riven more than anything else tonight. He was the bottom! The designated bottom of a harem novel!

He kissed Riven hard, like he was trying to prove something. Like he was claiming him. It was almost amusing to see how the prey was acting like a predator.

Riven gasped into the kiss, nearly losing his balance on the chair as Eli's hands slid up to cup his jaw, thumbs brushing his flushed skin. The little sounds Eli made were different from the sweet whimpers Riven had imagined in his most private fantasies. These were deeper, rougher, edged with longing. He did not think that when Eli moaned, it could ever be deep.

Is this really Eli? The soft bunny healer who blushes if I flirt too openly?

But it was him—his pink eyes dark and a little unfocused, his bunny ears tipped back, his mouth insistent against Riven's.

Eli kissed him like he was starving. Like he'd been holding this in for too long.

Riven let himself melt into it. He parted his lips, letting Eli deepen the kiss. He felt Eli's warm tongue brush his, and something in his stomach flipped.

Then Eli did something Riven would never have believed if he weren't living it—he grabbed the edge of Riven's shirt and started tugging, clumsy fingers fumbling at the buttons.

Riven pulled back, panting. "Eli—"

"You are drunk," Riven said, breathless. He put a hand over Eli's to still him. "You think you're sober, but—"

"I'm not." Eli insisted again, and his ears twitched with something like frustration. He leaned in, pressing another fierce kiss to Riven's lips, almost like he could prove it by kissing him harder.

For a second, Riven almost let him. But no, it wouldn't be right.

He broke the kiss, though his heart hammered so hard it hurt. He gently pried Eli's hands from his shirt and held them between their chests.

"Listen to me," he whispered, voice soft but steady. "You're drunk, Eli. Don't do anything you'll regret."

Eli hated it! He hated being treated like he was a child who did not know what he was doing. He was a man, he was a grown man. And he knew exactly what he wanted.

"I won't regret it," Eli blurted, eyes glossy. "I won't—" His ears were drooping, he was sad that Riven was stopping him. Did Riven not want him?

"I want you," Riven admitted. "But not when you're like this. You deserve to be clear-headed. You deserve to choose me without any doubts."

Eli stared at him, dazed and desperate. He tried to lean in again, but Riven caught his face in both hands and kissed him, slow, careful, just once more.

"Let's just… Call it a night."

Eli's shoulders slumped, and his ears drooped low, but he didn't argue.

"…Okay," he murmured, voice small.

Riven gently pried Eli's hands from where they clutched at his shirt. It was a little hard to untangle him, considering how Eli seemed to have melted halfway into his chest. The man's bunny ears flopped down, brushing Riven's jaw.

"Come on," Riven murmured, fighting a fond smile. "Time to get you to bed before you pass out on me."

Eli mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "I dun wanna…" but he didn't resist when Riven slipped an arm around his waist and coaxed him up.

Riven led him down the hallway, careful to support Eli's weight so he didn't list to the side. Despite how tipsy he was, Eli was still warm and sweet, blinking blearily at the sconces lining the corridor.

"You know," Riven drawled, trying to fill the quiet so he didn't start thinking about the kiss again, "you really have nerve. You look all soft and shy, and then you… Pounce."

Eli's cheeks went scarlet, but he didn't answer. His bunny ears twitched in agitation.