19. Help! Apocalyptic Visions Drained My Power!
The sky burned bright red, darkened only by swirling scarlet clouds that grew darker towards the center until they became pitch black. The ground spit steam. Burnt stalks, formally trees, jutted from the terrain. Nadia walked at the side of a long black path of half-melted tar. A flap of metal stuck out of the asphalt; the street sign for Mackenloo avenue. Her home.
The siding melted and charred, though the house looked mostly intact. Nadia waded through piles of trash to reach the kitchen. Charred tile crunched under her sneakers. Broken appliances were piled on the counter. Blackened metal legs stood where the kitchen table had burned away. The trash can fell out from underneath the sink. A wave of maggots slid around Nadia’s feet. Blistering air rolled into the kitchen as the ceiling smoldered open.
A burning ember fell upon her cheek. The living room was there, though any trace of comfort was gone. A portable metal chair with a burnt plastic seat lay on the floor amidst debris, the only furniture. Somehow, the wooden staircase remained intact, yet with rails severely charred. Red liquid smeared the stairs. Each of her steps blended the groan of the steps mixed with the squelch of the liquid against her sneakers.
The trail led to the first bedroom. Her palm pressed the blackened door frame. There was someone who resembled her father, sickly and drawn, kneeling over the frame of a mattress. An emaciated body stuck within the tangled coils, unrecognizable, dried, and composed mostly of maggots. The twisted figure of her father pulled at the squirming larva, only to have the body crumble.
“Nadia, this is lifeless,”
“No! Dad!”
Her father fell into her arms limply. His body disintegrated into a pile of maggots. The maggots entered her hands and squirmed upwards. Their bite inflicted a pain that made her scream at the top of her voice. She slowly began to lose her footing and falter. Her wrists tensed as her eyes dimmed. This vision took her. But before she gave way, she noticed a pendant hanging in the center of the room over a carpet of sinking maggots.
She reached for it.
She cried and gasped for breath, but she continued to reach for it despite the gnashing pain. She moved in slow motion, as if under water, but Josh kept his promise by not moving an inch. Strength left every limb of her body as her fingers approached the pendant and scraped at it. She grasped it. The little beasts fell aside and faded away as the illusion broke.
Nadia’s blood succumbed to gravity as she fainted over her enemy. Her face pressed directly into his chest as she breathed deeply. Josh blushed as he held her until the pendant dropped from her opening palm. It clinked as it bounced, then vibrated until finally resting flat. Josh knelt, put his arms under her to pick her up and laid her on a metal bench. He ran his fingers through her hair, listened for her breath, and felt the beating of her pulse before placing a stack of jeans under her head. The pendant went securely between her waist and palm. He rubbed her enclosed hand with his palm. A clean handkerchief wiped her forehead clear of accumulating sweat.
“A deal is a deal,” Josh groaned, “If it’s that important to you, I won’t take it.”
He grimaced, then groaned while clutching his stomach. He pushed himself up and hurried toward the back of the store. Something rose beyond his control as a red glow swirled around him. Shards of glass and splintered wood flew outwards from window he stood near. He clutched his head in a cold sweat as the terrors came snapping back into him. He jumped, rolled off a trash bin, and ran away.
Nadia shivered when she awoke a little while later. The terror aura had faded and people were returning. She could hear an argument about a broken window. Jody stood over her closely, startling her again. Her head pounded. Her pendant, the chain open, rested beneath her hand. She examined it carefully with a puzzled look, having no idea how it remained with her. A shadow loomed over her.
“What are you doing?” Jody asked.
“Got tired, took a nap,” Nadia explained, thinking quickly.
“Well, get the stuff you brought, we have four more outlets to visit. Did you see that broken window toward the back?”
“No, I didn’t. Wait, four more stores? Do I have to? I’m tired of shopping. I even dropped.”
The attempt at humor was a total failure.
“You can wait in the car if you want.”
“Fine, I’m coming. I’m not that tired.”
Nadia mentioned nothing of the conflict to the others, and made a successful effort not to complain about a painful lump on the back of her head. They weren’t suspicious in the least; instead, the other girls were only anxious to see what she had bought in their absence, wanting to get another idea of her taste in clothing. The shopping from then on mostly involved the other girls. Finished with her personal purchases, Nadia only browsed.
On the trip home Nadia remained closed to all conversation, only saying the minimal required to be polite. And of course she thanked everyone for all their help and commented on the clothes. If asked how she was she'd simply explain that she was sleepy. Nadia gazed out the window with heavy eyes as they rode along the highway. Yes, she still had the pendant. But those visions had sucked all the fun out this trip. They swirled heavily in her head as she tried to forget them.
"A bit sleepy?" Jody asked.
"Nghhh, yes, I'm beat,"
“I’m having a pool party this weekend. You can come if you want to,” Tish said.
Nadia nodded tiredly.
“Well, what do you think?”
“Sounds great, sure,” Nadia mumbled, without considering what she was agreeing to, or caring for that matter. She fell asleep sitting up. When someone spoke to her, she tried to act awake and agreeable despite the aggravating bruises and sore spots from two fights in one day. Jody shook Nadia’s shoulder, but she remained in a state of pseudo sleep.
“Nadia, I have a gold bikini that would go great with your coloring, you can wear it to the party if you like. It’s really skimpy.”
“Ya, sounds great,” Nadia moaned.
The other girls giggled.
-----
It was almost ten o’clock by the time the station wagon pulled back into Nadia’s drive. Mrs. Fischer gave Nadia her bags from the trunk, but Nadia refused her offer to help take them inside. Norman waited at the door as she expressed her gratitude and waved goodbye before watching them drive off. Partly roused from the sleep of the trip home, Nadia could see he was agitated from his scolding stare. She carried her bags to the sofa and acted as if she didn’t notice as she sat down.
“Where are the others?” she asked.
“Outside, except for Natalie. She’s in bed.”
“What do you think of my new look?” she asked sarcastically. “They forced me to go through a makeover.”
Pressing his middle and index finger against his temples, Norman said, “Forced you? You are very pretty, but have you already forgotten what you really are?”
“You mean what I really was? To tell the truth, right now, I don’t feel like a boy in any way at all. I don’t identify with anything that could be considered masculine, men’s underwear isn’t even comfortable anymore, and I don’t feel comfortable around men. Maybe we should be glad I’m still a person at all, like you said before. And really, weren’t you the one who practically forced me to go along!”
Norman played with his fingers, said, “You’re really more comfortable in woman’s clothing then?”
She patted her father on the back, “I’ve decided to wear clothes that fit. Don’t worry dad, this is the only skirt, and I didn’t even buy it. Most of what I bought were jeans and summer shirts. I also got some new shoes that fit, and most of my socks are white, not pink.”
Norman rummaged through a bag.
“I see you’ve chosen a nice assortment of undergarments.”
“Don’t look at that!” she pulled the bag from him, “What kind of pervert are you!?”
Her father gave her a knowing look with a poorly suppressed smirk. Nadia’s head went down, her cheeks flushed, she bit her lip and hugged the bag tighter than ever.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispered.
“Well, you might remain a woman the rest of your life now, so I can’t really blame you,”
“No! What was I supposed to do? You practically forced me to go and Jody decided to make me the center of attention. She couldn’t leave me alone for half the trip! None of them could!”
Nadia dropped the bag on the floor and buried her face in her hands.
“I was reluctant, I mean, I wanted to get basic stuff, unisex clothes, and boys wear that I could get away with. I didn’t want to go off the deep end. One thing led to another and it just got easier to let them decide for me. I didn’t want to be rude or hurt anyone’s feelings and every time I got a complement from Jody, I just felt so warm inside. I-I-I… looked so different, I even felt different. After the first hour I stopped fighting it, I actually wanted to be… cute.”
Her father rubbed the top of her head, “I’m sure you have a lot to work out emotionally, and you have a lot of decisions to make too. I want you to know that I’m here, no matter what.”
Nadia sat straight and look up into her father eyes, “Thanks dad, once I get transformed back, I’m going to burn all this girl stuff. I’ve already decided to get my manhood back and I’m not going to let anything stop me.”
“I have a question,” Norman said with a rather quizzical expression.
Nadia looked up rather patiently.
“Which kind of underwear did you say is more comfortable now?”
Nadia’s eyes widened as she stood and brushed off her skirt with her free hand.
“Good night, you’re a terrible father. I’m going to bed.”
She went to the stairs coldly, then glanced back as her father started to go to his office. She placed down the bags and ran up to him quietly, then hugged him from behind, which caused him to stiffen in a bit of shock.
“But I still love you.”
-----
After changing into white flannel pajamas, Nadia checked herself in the mirror. She played with the hair over the sensitive lump on her scalp. Then she fingered the scratch on the center of her forehead. She was astonished she survived with a few bruises and skinned palms.
A heaviness lingered in her head as the visions returned. The hardened, peeling skin that stuck to the center of her palm rubbed her forehead. Visions of death mingled with visions of birth. Repeatedly the emaciated figure of her father uttered the word: lifeless.
With those thoughts, she crept into bed and slowly faded into sleep. The tossing and turning disheveled her bed sheets as her arms and legs flailed about. Once during the night, Norman would check on her uneasy sleep. A dull moan escaped and she began mumbling something fearfully about lady Garasa as she tossed her head back and forth on the pillow.
With a worried frown, Norman slowly walked back to his room.