NOVEL WEB Chapter 13: Chapter 13: Egg Burrito, Extra Cheese 2
"THIS IS HOW YOU LEARNED TO TRUST PEOPLE?!" Charlie shouted.
When the BDSM club failed to build trust amongst the Hotel, Vaggie decided the best way to teach trust is the same way she did. Too bad for them, she learned in the most unforgivable way possible, war. The group was standing on the roof of a building in the Doomsday District. Below, a turf war was unfolding that brought gunfire, screaming, and explosions. Amongst the conflict, Sinner and Hellborn alike were fighting over the territory.
"There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms." Vaggie returned to being a drill sergeant. "Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men!"
After an explosion went off, the hotel manager went to Sir Pentious to throw him of the roof. "You..."
"Wait, wait!" The snake demon protested. "I can't fight without my egg-"
"Are gonnasurvive together!" She threw him down. "Andyou..." She approached Angel, the spider scared. "Are gonna make this hotel work!"
Seeing a chance to escape, Husk snuck away down the stairs. Bouncing with excitement, Niffty raises her hands for the grey-skinned to lift her up. "My turn, my turn!"
Before the cyclops could be thrown off, Charlie swipes the housekeeper from Vaggie. "Vaggie! No!"
"This is the only way they'll learn, Charlie." She pleads with the princess.
"No, it's not." Charlie protests. "There are other ways. It just takes time!"
While the adults were busy arguing, Bitch Lincoln saw Niffty hop off the roof. Following her example, the clone approached the edge of the roof and threw himself off.
"Time we don't have! How many Exterminations will have gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times will we have to watch your people be killed before... where's the clone?" Vaggie looked around and saw Bitch Lincoln was gone.
Scared, they both looked down and saw the rest of group was in the fight. Unlike the rest of Sinners who were either running, hiding, fighting, cursing, or any possible combination of the four, Bitch Lincoln was getting shot at, stabbed, bludgeoned, and set on fire. Seeing the boy was not doing anything, Vaggie jumped down to pull him out. Charlie assisted by using her magic to pull her girlfriend and the burning clone back to the roof.
Using the Princesses' jacket to snuff out the flames, Vaggie found Bitch Lincoln with the same doofus smile but now full of slowly healing battle wounds. "Why did you do that!?" She yelled, scared for him.
"You said we had to go down there to make the hotel work." He answered, frankly.
"I know but... why didn't you do anything?" Vaggie gripped the clone's shoulders.
"You said I absolutely can't make weapons."
"I didn't mean don't protect yourself! I meant... you were supposed... you have to..." Slowly, the reality of the boy's situation became more apparent. "I took charge today and it all went sideways."
"Vaggie?" Charli tried to comfort her best friend but she pulled away.
"I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality, Charlie." She tried to hide her face, to keep her tears from other people's view. "I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you."
From below, Angel Dust screams to Vaggie. "I BLAME YOU FOR THIS, YOU CRAZY BITCH!"
"You didn't fail me. Vaggie, you're not-you're not-" As Charlie found it hard to explain, Vaggie walked over to the edge of the roof.
"If I can't help you, what's the point of me?" She looks away, broken.
"Vaggie, don't say that!" The Princess helps Bitch Lincoln to his feet. "You do so much! It's-"
"I'm sorry. I'd... I'd like to be alone for a minute." Vaggie stopped the most important person to her.
Heartbroken, Charlie grabs the clone's hand and guides him to the door. Just as they get there, Angel Dust appears carrying a battered Sir Pentious then throws the snake onto the roof.
"Made it!" He breathed relief.
"Let's go home, Guys." Charlie told them, sullen.
"Wha- I just- Dammit!" The spider yelled; to make it easier for Angel, Bitch Lincoln dragged Sir Pentious along as they left.
Alone, the hotel manager was left with her thoughts. Thinking of nothing but how she failed to help her love Charlie, her charge 'Lincoln', and the souls who needed her.
At the Overlord meeting, the Sinners in attendance have just been presented with Velvette's surprise. Regardless of their thoughts on the matter, ever Overlord was speechless at the sight, if only for a moment.
"Holy Shit!" The dinosaur Overlord responded to the severed angel head.
"Oh! Tasty." Alastor was interested, but not like the others.
"Where did you get this?" Carmilla Carmine narrowed her eyes.
"We found it during Extermination day." The influencer revealed, getting to her feet. "If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed." She gets on the table. "Wecan take the fight tothem. The boys and I have already-"
"Pardon!?" Lincoln spoke up, turning attention towards him. "Before we start making a plan, I believe there are a few key details we mustn't... overlook."
Velvette eyed the white-haired lad. "Details? What, pray tell, would that be?"
"The only thing that head proves is that angels can be killed." Link began, pulling a sandwich out his inventory and placing the deer meat in it. "There is nothing to confirm that ademon was the perpetrator. The cause of death could have been due to infighting amongst their ranks; it would also be likely that the method necessary to kill Exorcists is only possible for angels, and I suspect only done by higher ranked ones. Plus, we can't overlook the most crucial detail." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Starting a war withHeaven would result in animmeasurable death count of Sinners."
The group understood he was right, but everyone but Alastor was surprised by the child's ability to analyze the situation so efficiently. Yet, to keep talk from spreading, Velvette laughed at the boy.
"Hahaha, I'm sorry, but are we really going to take war council from a fucking grade schooler!?" She mocked. "He's been here, what? Five minutes? It seems the children aren't our future if the best they could do is stand aside, eating their PB & J's."
"One, I'm in 6th Grade, which is technically in Middle School." Lincoln responded, thick-skinned. "Also, this is a peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich, with a bit of deer carcass." He took another, mouthful bite.
"You actually believe that helped your case?" She laughed harder. "The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan-"
This time when Velvette stops talking, her and the others look towards Zestial sipping his tea aggressively to pause the V. "If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war with such meagre proof, thou art far more... foolish than I bethought."
"Meagre proof? It's a dead fucking Exorcist." The influencer defended her argument. "I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive. You going blind, old man?"
"As Lincoln says, we know not how this perished. Mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all? If we rush to war without knowing, mightn't they purge all of Hell for daring an uprising?" Zestial further supported Lincoln's argument.
Once the devil-tailed boy finished eating, talk broke out between the Overlords. Despite their differences, both he and Velvette made the same observation; Carmilla had remained quiet throughout the argument, and she looked away from the head. It was something about her expression and body language that caught their attention; it seemed she was... regretful. With that thought, both reached the same conclusion as different expressions painted their faces. Velvette smiled confidently, and Lincoln's mouth dropped from shock.
"Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is toopussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?" She egged on the much older Overlord as he slightly closes his eyes. "Oh, what's the matter, Fossil? Too senile to make arealpower grab for-"
Outraged at Velvette's behavior, Carmilla gets in her face and tells her back off her friend. The two get into a musical argument on how 'respectless' the younger Overlord is. Carmilla chastises both Velvette and her colleagues for being too rash and ignorant for their own good. Velvette, on the other hand, dismisses both the arms dealer and the attending Overlords as being beneath her for acting weak and being irrelevant to the modern world. Then, as Velvette gets into Carmilla Carmine's face, suggesting the ballet demon knows something she's not telling the group. Fed up with her bullying, Lincoln moves in closer to Carmilla and shouts at Velvette.
"This meeting's over!" He got into her face, to the others' surprise. "I can take whatever nonsense you throw at me, because I got thick skin. But if you keep messing with my Uncle and these people..." Lincoln made a blade protrude from his wrist at high speed, cutting off a few strands of Velvette's hair. "I'll make sure to go a little closer."
Everyone saw the strands touch the table, half the room expecting a fight to break out, but Velvet shrugged and walked away. "Hm. Fine. Safe travels back to the nursing home, fuckers!" She insults the room, laughing as she leaves. "Kiss my arse!"
"Now that was a productive meeting!" Alastor commented.
"What the hell?" The punk dinosaur scoffs. "We literally just got here."
Lincoln returns to Alastor's side as the woman in the white lab coat addresses Carmilla Carmine. "Mother?" She whispered.
"Well done, Lincoln!" The Radio Demon congratulated his nephew. "So young, and already talking down two of the V's. A little advice: Next time, keep a smile."
The boy perked up. From the corner of his eye, he sees the woman in charge head to another room with Zestial and her 'daughters'. "Uncle, may I be excused for... a moment."
Alastor caught sight of it as well, and figured what Lincoln was thinking. "I'll wait outside, and take the egg creature. He might make a good distraction."
As Frank salutes, Lincoln picks him up and performs a spell her learned from his training with Stolas. Calming himself, the devil-tailed boy used magic to turn himself and the egg minion invisible to sneak into the other room. Hiding by the door to the side, Lincoln found himself in Carmilla Carmine's office; similar to the rest of the building, the walls were decorated with angelic steel weapons. The ballet demon mutters something in Spanish before she pours herself a glass of liquor, then deciding to down the bottle instead.
"Carmilla, what troubles thou? Losing thy composure is unlike thee." Zestial asked, concerned.
"It's nothing, Old Friend, really." Carmilla denied.
"The felled angel... t'was by thy hand, was it not?"
"Let's not talk about it." She tried to forget, not denying it was her.
"Mom, maybe he should know." The other daughter asked.
"Nobody should know, Clara." Carmilla sat down. "I did what I had to do. I am not discussing this."
Truly, it was mystifying. From what he heard Lute and Adam declare on his first day, Lincoln believed that angels really were immortal. As he heard the arms dealer speak more, he understood why she did it; love, she killed that Exorcist to protect her daughters, Clara and Odette. As Carmilla continued singing, the devil-tailed boy heard another song from across Pentagram City. The singers didn't know each other, but music has a way uniting hearts regardless of distance; and Lincoln understood that love is a universal language.
Lost in appreciation, the little spy didn't notice that he had dropped Frank, breaking the invisibility spell cast over the egg.
"Ow." The egg minion drew attention to him. "Oh, ah, Hi Miss Knife Lady!"
"What is that?" Odette, the one in the lab coat, asked.
"'tis one of the walking eggs that accompanied Alastor to the meeting." Zestial approached it with the others. "Alas, I receive this one was with-"
A knock came from the door to the meeting room. Clara went to answer. "Hello?"
Waiting with his hands behind his back, Lincoln looked up and gave an awkward smile. "E-Excuse me. I seem to have lost my, I don't know what he is, but he looks..."
"Hey Boss!" Frank waved to Lincoln.
"There he is!" Keeping his head low, the boy moved in closure to pick up the egg boi. "I'm sorry for any trouble he might have caused. A friend of mine asked-"
"Hold it." Carmilla moved in closer to speak. "You are Alastor's nephew, am I wrong?"
"Well, I'm his great-great-grandnephew. He's been very accommodating to me... in fact, I've gotten to meet a lot of people since I've got here."
"I had been surprised if thou quoth other." Zestial believed him. "If that is so, then thou hast also become acquainted with the Princess Morningstar?"
Lincoln raised his head. "I have. Although it was a little scary when I died, especially since I saw angels on my first day."
Carmilla flinched at this fact. "You've seen an angel, and lived?"
"I guess they didn't consider me worth killing at the time." Lincoln chuckled. "Then again, I suppose the angel you killed didn't see you as a threat... then you cleaved its head from her body."
Angered, the ballet demon moves in closer. "You have your little egg, no leave."
Lincoln stood his ground. "I didn't come here for the egg, I came here... to bargain."
"Bargain?" Carmilla was unimpressed, then went to get the glass she left full. "What could you offer me that I would want?"
The devil-tailed boy took a deep breath. "For starters, I've been to Earth and back."
Startled, she coughed on some alcohol going down her windpipe. "Sinners can't leave the Pride Ring." Carmilla wiped her mouth.
"I have. I've been to Earth, and to the Greed Ring." Lincoln revealed. "I don't know how I'm able, but I think it might have something to do with why I can do this."
To demonstrate what he had to offer, Lincoln secretly brought out the laser he swiped from Sir Pentious' delivery from his inventory. Then, to the surprise of the other demons, Lincoln bit out a section of his palm for blood to flow rapidly. While Zestial and Carmine were alarmed, Clara and Odette held back their nausea. Smearing his blood on the laser, it glowed and reformed until it resembled a sleeker version of itself.
"Huh..." Lincoln wasn't sure of what to expect, so he pushed the button. "Woah..." What came out was a cylinder a meter long made of yellow light. "I'm not sure if you understand what this is, but from the 80s to now, it's called a Lightsaber."
"Wow! So cool, Boss!" Frank ran up to reach for it.
"That is an... interesting trick." Carmilla kept her composure. "However, I am already Hell's most powerful arms dealer. Although you can make interesting... alterations, it has not real value to me."
Lincoln considered this; second rule of making a plan, always have a backup plan. "Maybe it doesn't, but I have something else to share... I can take other Sinners to Earth."
Now this really unnerved the demons in the room.
"Intriguing." Zestial commented. "How can thou not only escape Hell, but take another in tow?"
"That... would require an exchange of information equal in value." Link remained focus on Carmilla. "If you would tell mehow you killed an angel, I would be more than willing to tell how I take Sinners to Earth."
"No." Carmilla answered without hesitation. "We both understand how dangerous knowing such things are. So, Lincoln Loud, let's bargain."
The boy took a deep breath. "I will give you and your loved ones safe haven on Earth in the event of an Extermination. However, in exchange for passage and keeping knowledge of the dead Exorcist secret, you have to give me something as well."
"What do you want?" Carmilla was full business mode. "Angelic weapons? Souls?"
"Training." Lincoln clarified. "Even if you told me how to kill an angel, it would mean nothing if I wasn't strong enough to survive the encounter. Here is my offer: Safety for Training"
Carmilla Carmine was more than a little tempted by the offer. This child is young, but speaks with a maturity and confidence of someone thrice his age. She looks to Zestial, the older demon nodding; despite the limited time they've know each other, Zestial has come to understand that Lincoln is an upstanding young man. Made up her mind, Carmilla walks over to the boy.
"I could accept this arrangement, on one condition." She gets down to look him in the eye. "If you try to get out on upholding your end of the bargain... I kill you." There was a silence in the room, then Carmilla presented her hand. "Deal?"
Lincoln looked at her hand for a moment, then bowed. "You have my word."
Amused, she returned to her desk. "I'll send information of your first lesson soon. Be sure to not disappoint."
"Good day, Senora Carmine." Link bowed again, then bid farewell to the others in the room before leaving with Frank.
"This is quite the development, Old Friend." Zestial commented.
The sisters shared a look before addressing their mother. "Mom?" Odette asked. "Are you sure that he can do as he says?"
"Yeah." Clara agreed with her sister. "He's only a child."
"I can understand thy daughters' concerns." Zestial spoke next. "We all saw it. His blood is black, like a Hellborn. Yet, he is a Sinner; truly, a most peculiar boy indeed."
Unsure of where her mood was coming from, Carmilla giggled. "Physically, he is a boy; but he has more of what makes a man than any I've met in a long time." She swirled the beverage she had left in the glass. "After years of crafting weapons, you begin to see the qualities in people. You begin to understand what is true strength, and what's just empty talk." She placed her glass down.
On the way back to the Hazbin Hotel, the white-haired boy and his uncle talked about what he heard from Carmilla and about his negotiation.
"Very good, Lad." Alastor patted the boy on the head. "If you don't shake, it's now adeal."
"I know, Uncle." Lincoln smiled. "Now, I just need to find a way to allow souls on Earth with using any Pieces."
"You're overthinking the issue!" Alastor laughed as they made it to the door. "You only promised to get Carmilla and her loved ones safe haven. Neither of you specified the method."
Although the devil-tailed boy kept his smile up, he disagreed with Alastor's reasoning. Sure, had Carmilla been more like the V's, he might used the situation to his advantage. But the ballet demon is different, she does what she needs to for love and survival, something Lincoln has great respect for. The uncle and nephew duo entered through the front door with the egg minions following behind. From how everyone was laughing, it looked like trust building exercises went well. From the second floor balcony, Charlie and Vaggie wave down to the boy.
"Alastor." Vaggie spoke. "Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see."
"Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be ratheruseful." The Radio Demon glows with excitement.
"They can be a little distracted, but I think they're good eggs." Link laughed.
Vaggie giggled. "Why don't you give them back to Pentious?"
"Really!?" The snake demon was teary.
"After today, I guess you can be trusted. But seriously, no building skin flayers or whatever that was." She eyed Sir Pentious, dead serious.
"My eggs! Ah, it's so good to have you back." He hugged them close for a moment before dropping them. "Now, go clean my quarters this instant!"
"Speaking of things that go wrong, how's my clone?" Lincoln asked.
"I'll get him." Angel Dust waved. "Bitch Lincoln, Real Lincoln is back!"
"Yay!" Bitch Lincoln rushed over. "I'm so glad you're back Real Lincoln! We had a fun day! We went to a place were nice ladies rub you, we jumped off a building, and I got set on fire!"
"Sounds like a fun day." The non-clone disregarded that. "Time to go now."
As Lincoln put his hand on the clone's forehead, the copy slowly became tiny dots of light that absorbed into the devil-tailed boy's arm. "Good bye, Everybody!" That was the last thing the clone said.
"What the fuck just happened?" Husk asked for everyone.
"I just reabsorbed my clone." Lincoln answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"So what? He's... dead?" Angel asked, a little saddened.
"No, more like he no long exists. When I absorbed him, I also took the memories my clone made while he was with you."
"You know what happened?" Vaggie asked, ashamed.
"More or less." The boy shrugged. "For me, it's like recalling a vivid dream I had. I mostly remember general details. For instance, Angel, did you really take everyone to a fetish club?"
"I think it helped with bonding." The spider demon joked.
Together, the two laughed. "Well I think everyone deserves some dinner." Lincoln headed to the kitchen. "You're in luck, my dad has this recipe for lasagna that's like nothing you've ever eaten."
"Hold you rolls!" Angel got a head of the boy. "As someone who grew up in an Italian family, I won't let you hurt my pride like that! Niff, get your knife, I need to show this kid what real cucina italiana is."
"Okay!" Niffty hurried off to the kitchen.
"Lincoln, before you go, I want to return these to you." Vaggie presented the boy with Hustle and Bustle, his twin magic pistols. "If you promise to only use these when you are in legitimate danger, you can have them."
The boy was happy to have them back. "Thanks, Vaggie." Link hugged her, much to the manager's surprise and Charlie's teary-eyed smile. "Have you two seen Martha and Jill, I need to talk with them?"
"They're in Martha's room." Charlie answered, wiping the tear away. "Hopefully, neither of them killed the other."
Running off to his Pawn's room at the hotel, Lincoln knocked and waited for an answer. "Yes?" Martha looked down. "Oh, I heard you were back!"
"We need to talk, is Jill in here?" The King asked.
"Over here!" Jill confirmed, grading papers with a smile on her face. "What did you need to talk about?"
Every guest had their own room in the hotel, except for Lincoln. Martha's room was made to be rustic with hardwood floors and Wild-West themed wallpaper; along with a double bed, she also had a couch, desk, and a stuffed deer head above the fireplace. Lincoln explained to his little team what happened, he didn't reveal the dead Exorcists but told the Pawns about his arrangement with Carmilla Carmine.
"What's you plan?" Jill asked. "Give pieces to the Overlord and her daughters?"
"No." Lincoln shot down the idea. "I need to find away to allow demons on Earth. The question is, how I can do so?"
"I'll admit, we've done some crazy shit." Martha snickered. "But what you've promised is insane."
"Maybe, but that brings me to our next topic." Lincoln spoke less enthusiastic. "We're going to need to do more dungeon crawls."
"More?" The two Sinners spoke in unison.
"Going into the dungeons helps sharpen my powers." The boy explained. "I've already made a plan. We'll target hate groups; they shouldn't be to difficult, and we'd be helping reform lost souls."
"Listen, it's good what we've been doin', but if more and more people start experiencing a change of heart, it will get attention!" Martha argued. "Pretty soon, people'll come lookin' for us."
"... I say we do it." Jill agreed with the boy. "Martha, I wouldn't call us friends, nor do I even think we could call us people who don't want to kill each other."
"Fair." The one-eyed woman shrugged.
"But we both know what it means to lose what you love. If what we do can prevent more mistakes like ours, I say we follow the boy." Jill put her hand in.
Lincoln smiled. "All for Operation: Clear-as-many-dungeons-as-possible-then-find-a-way-to-help-Carmine-and-comapny-while-also-finding-a-shorter-name-for-this-operation, hands in!"
Martha laughed for a moment. "I'm already in Hell, what could be worse?" She put her hand in."
"Redemption on three!" Link cheered. "One, two, three... REDEMPTION!"
The three shared a laugh. "Oh, I forgot to call IMP to tell them how my lessons went! Be right back!" Lincoln went to the landline by the door and dialed Blitz's number. "Hey, Blitz, I got back... what? You four are where? You did what? How do you crash a zeppelin!? Put Millie on the phone." He waited. "Millie, where are you four? Capone Burgh? Okay, you guys stay hidden, I'll be there with back up in a minute! Millie, I'll be safe. Remember, you trained me."
"What happened?" Jill asked, exhausted.
"It looks like they had a company retreat to another city, and are now hiding out from gangsters." Lincoln pulled his new lightsaber out. "I may need your help with this."
"Oh, fuck ya!" Martha got her guns ready. "Bitchin' lightsaber!"
"That company." Jill armed herself. "Why did I ever hire them?"
With backup in tow, Lincoln opened a portal to go help his friends.
Elsewhere, in the Entertainment District, Velvette is scrolling through the internet on her phone. Returning from the Overlord meeting, the demon relaxes in her suite. Appearing at the door, the TV demon enters with a wide grin.
"Velvette, how's the best influencer in Hell?" He charmed. "Tell me, how was today's meeting with Carmilla Carmine!?"
"Pointless, Vox." She scoffed. "Filled with nothing but a lot of spineless, old bastards. Sad news, Dearie, but I don't think Grandma Carmine is gonna get involved in your 'angelic security' project."
"Dammit!" Vox slammed his fist. "She was our best chance. Even after you showed her our little 'discovery', she wouldn't go for it?"
"Not one bite." As she scrolled, Velvette found something that made her smile. "Interesting, you remember that little brat with Alastor?"
Vox clenched. "Oh,how could I FORGET!?"
"It seems Alastor brought his 'nephew' along to the meeting. The boy had a lot to say, really."
The screen faced demon was speechless for a moment. "Nephew? That would mean... it couldn't be... Harriet?"
"Whose that?" The influencer inquired.
Vox got up and created some distance from Velvette. "Nobody who could be involved in this." Thoughts of the past went through the Overlord's mind. "What of the boy? You think he's of any value to Alastor?"
Giggling, Velvette puts her phone down for a moment. "I'd say so... I think I'll invite him over sometime."
"Invite? Why?" He looked at his colleague. "I'd doubt someone related to Alastor would be foolish enough to make a deal with us."
"Alastor is just another irrelevant, fossil. His nephew is new, and I have a feeling he has more to offer than we initially thought." The female demon thought about the boy's attitude during the meeting, and when that blade shot from his arm. She wasn't sure at first, but Velvette was positive she saw the Sinner child with black blood. "What was his name again...? Get this, the sandwich he was eating, peanut butter, sauerkraut, and roadkill. Fucking ridiculous!"
"What?" Vox was startled by that fact. "That is just disgusting! Eating peanut butter and sauerkraut with roadkill? That's a mustard and relish meat." The blue demon shook his head. "Fucking, Alastor, teach that boy how to eat properly!"