NOVEL WEB Chapter 18: The First Trimester
Diane's POV
At fourteen weeks pregnant, I was just approaching my second trimester, and the reality of my situation was finally starting to sink in. Twins. I was carrying twins, a secret I held close to my heart, shielding it from the chaos that had become my life.
I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was time to get up and face another day of pretending everything was fine. I had an appointment with Dr. Mia Chen, my obstetrician, in a couple of hours.
As I showered and dressed, I rehearsed the lies I'd been telling my doctor - that I was fine, that the divorce proceedings were going smoothly, that I was moving on with my life.
The truth was far more complicated. Every day was a struggle to keep my emotions in check, to not break down in tears at the mere mention of Liam or Sophie's names.
The betrayal still felt raw, a wound that refused to heal. But I had to be strong.
As I drove to the hospital, I couldn't help but think about how different this pregnancy was from what I had always imagined.
There were no excited phone calls to family and friends, no shopping trips for cute baby clothes, no proud father-to-be accompanying me to appointments. Instead, there was secrecy, stress, and a gnawing fear about the future.
I parked my car and made my way to Dr. Chen's office, my heart racing with a mix of anticipation and anxiety.
The waiting room was mercifully empty, sparing me from having to make small talk with other expectant mothers. I buried my nose in a parenting magazine, trying to distract myself from the swirling thoughts in my head.
"Diane Ashton?" The nurse called my name, and I followed her to the examination room.
Dr. Chen entered a few minutes later, her warm smile instantly putting me at ease. "Good morning, Diane. How are you feeling today?"
I mustered up a smile. "I'm doing okay, Dr. Chen. The morning sickness has finally started to ease up a bit."
She nodded, making notes in my chart. "That's good to hear. Any other concerns or symptoms you want to discuss before we start the examination?"
I hesitated, then decided to be honest. "I've been having trouble sleeping, and I feel... tense all the time. I know it's probably just stress from everything that's going on, but..."
Dr. Chen's expression softened with understanding. "Diane, it's perfectly normal to feel stressed given your circumstances.
Pregnancy is challenging enough without adding a divorce into the mix. But I want you to remember that your emotional and physical health directly impacts your babies. We need to make sure we're taking care of all three of you."
I nodded, blinking back tears. It felt good to have someone acknowledge the difficulty of my situation without judgment.
The examination proceeded as usual, with Dr. Chen checking my vitals and performing an ultrasound. The sound of two strong heartbeats filled the room, and I felt a surge of love and protectiveness wash over me.
"Your babies are developing beautifully," Dr. Chen said, pointing out various features on the ultrasound screen. "However, I am a bit concerned about your blood pressure. It's higher than I'd like to see at this stage."
My heart sank. "Is that... is that dangerous for the babies?"
Dr. Chen turned to face me, her expression serious but kind. "It can be if left unchecked. High blood pressure during pregnancy can lead to complications like preeclampsia. But don't worry, we've caught it early, and there are steps we can take to manage it."
She leaned forward, her eyes meeting mine. "Diane, I know the divorce isn't easy on you, even though you keep telling me you're ok, but I need you to consider your health and the health of your babies. Stress is likely a major factor in your elevated blood pressure.
I want you to focus on self-care - eat well, get plenty of rest, and find healthy ways to manage your stress. Prenatal yoga or meditation might be helpful."
I nodded, feeling a mixture of guilt and determination. "I'll do whatever it takes, Dr. Chen. These babies... they're everything to me."
"I know they are," she said softly. "And that's why I'm going to be very clear with you. You need to take care of yourself. Eat regular, balanced meals. Take your prenatal vitamins without fail. Get at least eight hours of sleep each night. And most importantly, find ways to relax and de-stress."
She wrote out a prescription and handed it to me. "I'm prescribing a safe medication to help control your blood pressure. We'll monitor it closely over the next few weeks. If it doesn't improve, we may need to consider more aggressive treatment."
As I left the hospital, clutching the prescription and a stack of pamphlets on prenatal health, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. My babies needed me to be strong and healthy. I couldn't change the circumstances of their conception or the broken family they would be born into, but I could give them the best possible start in life.
Back at Joan's beach house, which had become my temporary home, I sat on the porch overlooking the ocean. The rhythmic sound of the waves calmed my frayed nerves as I pondered Dr. Chen's words. I needed to reduce my stress levels, but how could I do that when my life felt like it was falling apart?
Joan found me there, still lost in thought. She sat down next to me, offering a cup of herbal tea. "How did the appointment go?"
I took a deep breath, grateful for her unwavering support. "The babies are doing well, but... my blood pressure is high. Dr. Chen is worried about the stress."
Joan's face creased with concern. "Oh, Diane. What can I do to help?"
I gave her a weak smile. "You're already doing so much, Joan. I don't know what I'd do without you."
We sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the waves crash against the shore. Finally, I spoke. "I think... I think I need to start taking better care of myself. For the babies."
Joan nodded encouragingly. "That's a great idea. What did you have in mind?"
Over the next hour, we brainstormed ways to reduce my stress and improve my health. Joan offered to research pregnancy-friendly recipes and even suggested we could do prenatal yoga together. Her enthusiasm was infectious.
That night, I started a new routine. I ate a healthy dinner, took my vitamins and blood pressure medication, and then settled on the porch with a pregnancy journal. As I wrote about my hopes and fears for my babies, I felt some of the tension leave my body.
Before bed, I tried a short meditation, focusing on my breath and visualizing a protective bubble of love surrounding my twins. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
The next few weeks fell into a pattern. Each morning, I would take a walk on the beach, the sound of the waves and the feel of sand beneath my feet grounding me in the present moment.
I started attending a prenatal yoga class twice a week, finding solace in the company of other expectant mothers. While I still kept the details of my situation private, it felt good to be in an environment where my pregnancy was celebrated, not hidden.
Joan, bless her, took on the role of my personal chef and nutritionist. She researched pregnancy-friendly recipes and made sure I always had healthy snacks on hand. Her unwavering support and friendship were a balm to my battered soul.
As my first trimester drew to a close, I found myself standing in front of the mirror one morning, studying my reflection. There was the slightest curve to my belly now, a visual reminder of the life growing within me. I placed my hand on the small bump, a fierce love washing over me.
"We're going to be okay," I whispered to my babies. "No matter what happens, Mommy loves you more than anything in this world."
I felt the first fluttering movements of my babies, I knew I had the strength to weather whatever came next.
My phone buzzed with a text from my mother, asking how I was doing. I stared at the screen, my thumb hovering over the keys. Part of me longed to share my secret, to have my mom's support through this journey. But the fear of the news somehow getting back to Liam held me back.
"I'm doing okay, Mom," I typed back. "Taking it one day at a time."
As I hit send, I felt a pang of guilt. I hated keeping this secret from her, but I knew it was necessary for now. Until the divorce was finalized, until I had a clear plan for the future, I couldn't risk anyone else knowing about my pregnancy.
The first trimester was ending, but my journey was just beginning. There would be challenges ahead, moments of doubt and fear. But there would also be joy, love, and the indescribable bond between a mother and her children.
"We may not have the family I once imagined, but we have something even stronger. We have love, we have support, and we have each other. And in the end, that's all that really matters.
With those words, I closed the book on my first trimester and looked ahead to whatever the second would bring. One day at a time, one small victory at a time.