Chapter 123-Inner Challange
A few minutes before Teresa had shown her true self, Reaper and Xiao were locked in a conversation.
'What do you plan to do when she attacks?' Reaper asked, to which Xiao shrugged.
'Won't you protect me?' he asked back in a relaxed tone.
'So you only remember your position now?' Reaper asked, making Xiao confused as his eyes narrowed.
'What does that mean?' Xiao questioned.
'I have been watching you these past times, and I know about what you have gone through,' Reaper replied, making Xiao silent. He silently urged Reaper to continue.
'Why did you make plans to deal with some prince?' Reaper asked, becoming silent. It took a moment before Xiao replied.
'Well, I just didn't want to deal with all the hassle...'
Xiao's reply wasn't as powerful as he expected it to be, nor was it as convicted as he thought it would be, with the control that All-Fate and All-Destiny had lost, the one controlling the mind of Xiao weakened.
'Let me rephrase my question then, why do you suppress your true self?' Reaper's question silenced Xiao. Outwardly he looked normal, but on the inside, he was shaking. His heart was beating faster, and he felt like his mind was being hit by a hard hammer again and again. Everything looked normal on the outside, but on the inside, a huge battle was taking place.
'I was suppressing myself?' Xiao asked himself, his mind running through everything he was going through. His first life played before him, his second life doing the same before which he reached the last of his memories, to the moment he was sitting now.
Memories are being controlled, memories are being shunned, truth is being manipulated, history is being altered, fate and destiny are being controlled, the mind is being played with, life is being toyed with and the true Xiao slowly itching forward.
The truths that he was hiding below, the feelings that he was suppressing, the desires that he was denying, and his true half-self locked away. Each of them started to bubble within himself. Reaper, who knew what would happen, had helped, a simple push forward for something that would have happened in the future without Reaper playing a hand. A small part of Reaper's power slithered itself into Xiao's realm, heart, and mind. Otherwise, it would have been impossible to get such an emotional outburst from Xiao with just some words.
Xiao had spent his second life crushing down his true self, slithering down what should have been his true personality or what he had become.
All his life he spent hiding and running around. In his second life, even though he rose to power, he had never forgotten the number of times he had to bow down, to plan from behind, to play the fool and wait. It had become a part of him, and he didn't hate it, but it meant that some aspects of him had to be suppressed, molding him to match the world.
It wasn't such a big deal, as everyone who lives at the bottom will always have to mold or change themselves to meet the liking and confirmation of the one at the top. But here came the question...
Who was Xiao now?
Was he just a reincarnated regressor? Was he just the young master of the Yun family? Was he just a boy with the talent to shake everything?
Yes, he was all of them. He was all that but above all that he now stood for something else, for he is...
...THE PRINCE OF DEATH!
Who is Death? He is someone that even Uranus, the first Origin Titan, Bennu, the first Origin Creator of the Egyptians, Ymir, the first origin Giant of the Norse, beings of terror would bow down to with respect and fear, and he Xiao was the chosen one of such being.
What greater backing than this can exist? What within all this expanding cosmos does Xiao have to bow down to? Then why should he plan?
Xiao never had it in his life. He never had...absolute backing. The soul core and mind chains of Xiao trembled, the curses affecting Xiao's intelligence, planning, and the truth of himself shaking with reckon, the true character and mind of Xiao slowly cracking forth.
By instincts, he had tried to go back to the way he was. He hadn't sunken into the thought of who he had become. Somehow everything had felt normal...
'Are you happy with what had happened to you?' Reaper asked another question that punched through his illusionary dream. Xiao was no idiot, he could see that his life was played around with. Yet here he sat, thinking that he was gifted with a second chance, such that if the one who made him like this came to him, Xiao would offer help if possible.
Was that the truth?
No.
Deep in his heart, Xiao wanted revenge! He wanted to tear the person from limb to limb and make the person responsible feel all the pain that he had! He wanted to know everything.
Sit back and do nothing because he couldn't find answers? As if he could go with such bullshit! Xiao was, is, and will be someone who never gives up simply. But in his heart, he held back his true thoughts, knowing that he would only face problems if he moved for revenge. Xiao was being realistic; sometimes that's all someone could do, petty running for revenge, when the picture was clear, was just stupid. But Reaper was just beginning with his questions.
'Why do you hold back that desire for battle?' This question shook the other hidden side of Xiao. In his first life, Xiao ran behind power and strength. It was built on a flimsy promise of meeting Xuanyin and taking revenge, a desire that kept going down and down as he grew. Yet why did he choose the path of combat in his second life?
Even if his talents were trash for combat, it was heaven-sent for other jobs. He could have made it with such other jobs, but why did he choose combat still? Why did he bleed for it?
To prove to someone? To show he is the best? To become the strongest for control?
No. It was none of this...
Xiao battled for the very reason that he loved battles! Yes! He loved the feeling of fighting someone strong, the feeling of a near-death situation, the supreme feeling of reigning above in battle and coming out victorious. It was for this he fought!
A bloodthirsty smile split Xiao's face, a massive craziness for power, battle, the desire he was denying was now ruthlessly ripped apart and lay before him, another part of him had burst out.
'Why do you deny the true reason that you help?' Reaper asked again, this time its question deeper, which suddenly nulled all the feelings from Xiao, whose inner thoughts turned calm. The question Reaper asked was much deeper than it seemed.
Why did he help? Why did he find Yunbai and help him? Why not befriend the supremely gifted geniuses that will pop up close? To control Yunbai and have his help? Maybe a part of him did, but the true reason was simple...
He just wanted to help?
Nah...
That ain't it.....
Xiao did it because he wanted to do it, no the mind that kept him unlocked moved like a fucking puppet that played the role of a pussy and a simp!
Letting girls go? acting like a pussy when powerful girls are throwing themselves at him? just letting the situation go around in the thought of going with the flow, not meddling when needed to meddle, making pussy like plans of not intervening with fate and destiny, all the work of a pussy and simp isn't his to play.
'Just what the hell am I doing?'
A call sounded out from the depths of Austin's soul, the cracking of his soul getting stronger and stronger, thumping sounds similar to a hammer hitting his head filling him, slowly but surely the true monster of mind that is kept locked away climbing free.
The world turned its back on Xiao, and he did too. He turned his back to everything as he slaughtered his way up, slaughter being his one true friend, killing being his one true aim, cruelness being his one true will, he was broken, but his master saved him, granting him faith. Xiao refused to accept it, but he had changed a lot, not into someone good but into a true villain.
Xiao leaned to keep both kindness and ruthlessness in his heart, to live to only give kindness and acceptance to people he has deemed to be of worth and usefulness to him, to never openly love, to always be careful of whom he gives his love, to always be ruthless but once rectified to always show strength and sharing to ones that can make him love.
Villains? Indeed, he could be called a villain, but they are all created from the pain of the past, just like him, Villains are all broken, so why shouldn't he help? Especially knowing the pain of living, knowing that he had the power to change, why shouldn't he act?
In the world of cultivation, such thoughts would have sent any cultivator laughing off their ass. Helping others for no reason? Such were the thoughts of the naive, and Xiao agreed, his thoughts were truly unorthodox to the world of cultivation, where for power cruelness was the norm. But his stay at Ingrid had changed Xiao.
Manipulation...
A very unfamiliar word had taken place within Xiao, even though he had kindness, it was reserved for the people he deemed worthy of it.