Heartthrob

As before, in what was quickly becoming an all-too-familiar sequence of events, the fugitive secretary allowed herself to be swallowed up into Purity's arms. She flinched as if struck, initially - the addling of the dreams had yet to fully relinquish its grip upon her fevered mind, but as her keen senses were reminded of Purity's touch, of her scent, the inner EJ took control and forced herself to calm. It had just been a dream, after all, or so she told herself. None of it had been real. Purity and Judas would never dare do something so... cruel. So vile. So heinous. Est, maybe, but the other two? Judas had never come close to such direct physical abuse, even during their night together, no flesh had been taken. She doubted it ever would.

But that was the third such dream she had been visited by in recent days: dreams involving her own death, her own dismemberment, her own unmaking. The true death that some small part of her longed for, the final curtain call that most second-living grew to desire in some nihilistic way - it was borne of the depression and futility which came from an endless life of toil, and yet... There was comfort in the option. Comfort that one could live forever, and opt out when they felt that they had spent enough time in the mortal world. Cremation was painless, or so the ads said - they sedated you so heavily that it would kill a first-living, and then roasted you in flames hot enough to melt your flesh and kill your nerves in seconds even if you did wake up. The freedom of nonexistence was always there to reach out and take.

Esper James squeezed her eyelids down hard, squeezing the thoughts of facilitated suicide from her mind like stray grapes in a decommissioned wine press. The dreams she had been having weren't about cremation, nor were they about dying peacefully nor willingly: they had been painful, and terrifying, and abhorrent. From drowning cold and alone in the middle of the ocean, to being pierced by hateful, vengeful silver, and last night, having three women she knew personally eat her alive and stab her to death, these weren't her normal nocturnal visitations by the specter of final death. As she began to drift back to sleep, body cushioned by the woman beside her and the synthetic stuffing of the sleeping bag they occupied, she wracked her brain for any kind of meaning.

Her thoughts turned first to stress, as likely a candidate as any. She had been so stressed recently, even in those few days where everything felt like it was going right - where it felt like she was having fun. She had been stressed for literal decades, to be fair, and even then it had never really been like this. There had always been the safety of knowing what was happening tomorrow, always knowing approximately what was in store for her, but nowadays she was filled with doubt and fear about what lay in store for her with the coming of every new evening. It was exhausting to her, and she had found herself regretting so much of what had led her to this point.

"Fuck." She couldn't hold the exclamation back, resentment pooled deep in the abyss of her heart envenoming the single word. Through closed eyes she could feel Purity shift to look down at her, but she pinkette said nothing; she simply pulled Esper James tighter to herself, and EJ was reluctantly grateful for it. Being able to rest her head against Purity's chest was comforting - it could have been anyone's chest, truthfully, but Purity was who she had, and so she would make do.

She wondered silently if the dreams would only get worse from here on out. If things continued the way they were, with herself and the only person who seemed to really care for her (an idea she was still somewhat skeptical of) on the lam, she worried that all she'd eventually be able to hold onto were her nightmares and her pessimism. Even the people around her were transient and ephemeral; there was no guarantee that anyone she knew would stay by her side, willingly or unwillingly. Even Judas, who had held her in sadomasochistic tidal lock for the majority of her time on this earth, may toss her aside like a broken toy. That was, of course, if Judas would even take her back after EJ's recent moment of rebellion against Tsang - perhaps her superior had already been informed, and would cease contact and leave EJ to her fate.

Where once there would have only been sorrow and regret, a newfound, indignant rage swelled with the heat of an active crematorium oven. Purity whimpered softly as if in response, but EJ didn't even register it initially. If she had, she would have thought that maybe Purity deserved it for dragging her into all this. The blonde's thoughts turned to rueful, vindictive trails of idea: that maybe love was bullshit and she was stupid for having wanted it; that maybe Tsang was in the right for abusing the citizens of Vitus, because the average person was a stupid sheep anyways; that maybe she should just call Judas, tell her where they were, and be done with it. Purity could broker a deal or something to keep from dying. Kell and her friends could just fight their way out, or die with weapons in their hands. EJ could try and get some brownie points for helping root out anti-corporate extremists in the heart of Vitus. EJ wins, everyone else draws, ideally.

Only when Purity whimpered again, yelping involuntarily from sharp pain, did EJ realize she had been digging her fingernails into Purity's torso. Hers were not quite the claws that Judas had been able to conjure some nights ago, but they weren't exactly down to the nailbed, either. The ghoulish girl released the white-knuckle grip she had been subjecting the taller woman to, hearing a sigh of relief in exchange; she found herself relieved by it. Calm began to cool the raging flame of her indignity, and as it did, she found her eyes opening so she could gaze up at her opposite.

"Purity? You said you loved me, right? We've only known each other for, like, a week... And I'm still mad at you, to be honest, but I know I won't be mad forever. And... And I need that love, just like you do. I want to love you too, even if I can't get past everything else. So, let's make a d-deal, I guess." EJ swallowed hard, her red-flecked irises and the pupils they housed taking a momentary vacation from Purity's face to gaze at the concrete wall nearest the pair. Her words were part truth: she did want to love Purity. After the time they had spent together, their second date, if you could call it a date? It would have been so easy. Things need have only continued on as they were, and she would have loved Purity like a flower loves the sun, like a flame loves gasoline. She wished it could have been so simple.

Purity was in rapt attention now, the words and the pain of the previous death-grip sweeping sleep from her as one sweeps spent casings from a shooting gallery. The human's face turned downwards to gaze intently at her cool-skinned bedfellow, lips unmoving so that EJ might continue her thoughtflow unhindered. "The deal is that, if we decided to try, then no more bullshit. No more lies. No more deception. I... I can't take any more. We're in way too deep at this point, a-and you really hurt my trust in you, but... But you're also the closest thing to real, genuine love I've e-ever had. So I can't help but want to try. Ok?" Esper James's serious tone was untainted by her growing sense of self-loathing at her inability to get the thoughts out without stuttering timidly. She stared up at Purity then - unblinking, unmoving, waiting for an answer. Her eyes began to sting a few seconds in as Purity, taken aback, thought it over.

Finally, having pondered it for nearly a minute, Purity sighed and then let free a burst of mirthful chuckling, her tone the intermingling of amusement and resignation as she replied. "Okay, EJ. I agree to your terms. No more bullshit, no more lies... No more selfishness. It's something we'll do together, something we can make happy if we both try. Maybe if we can get out of the city, out to the countryside... Maybe we can have a little life for ourselves. Together." Purity capped off the sentence with a tender kiss planted atop Esper James's browline, right as brow became forehead. EJ bit her cheek to keep from shivering at the gesture; it still made her feel a sort of twinkle within her heart, a puff of glitter in an empty room, a splash of color across a blank canvas.

Purity's acceptance of the terms and conditions of Esper James's love brought all the satisfaction of a pop-up notification of a completed task, however. It didn't carry the emotional weight that the blonde had been expecting, even anticipating, and she was left feeling hollowed-out and dispassionate. Frustrated with herself, too - for decades she had dreamed of a moment like this, of a beautiful woman cradling her fondly, confessing her love, open to boundaries and respectful of the secretary's need for communication and honesty. It was like a dream. So why didn't it feel like a dream? If anything, it was only a bump in the road, a small moment of reprieve from the dismal spiral of her life.

She couldn't help but think of Judas as she squeezed Purity tighter, at least able to make that most meagre of concessions to try and show her feigned elation. Judas was cruel to her, yes... Physically, and somewhat mentally, and still. She had known Judas for the vast majority of her second-life, and the care she had recently displayed was enough to cast a shadow of doubt over her true intentions. But those were thoughts for a different time, and honestly, a different place. She was here, now, with a woman who claimed honestly and directly that she loved EJ. That should be good enough, or so EJ told herself. She could be happy with Purity.

And so the pair held one another close as sleep returned, slow to take but once its hold was established neither was roused, even when Kell returned with a takeout box in one hand and a fat orange pill-bottle in the other. Esper James snapped free of slumber's covetous clutches almost immediately once the aroma of the nourishment hit her nostrils: hot and fatty, buttery and savory, the tempting tingle of some underlying heat like a flame in the undercroft of her senses. She could taste the MSG in the air as soon as her watering mouth opened to gulp down a breath, eyes fluttering open with the force of drawn blinds pulled to refurl. Purity was cast aside to awaken on her own as the ravenous ghoulette clambered to be free of their shared embrace and sleeping bag, stumbling to a stand.

Kell laughed loudly and openly, flicking the lightswitch. Surprisingly, this place still had electricity, despite the disrepair it seemed to lay within. Bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling lit the disheveled breakroom with warm yellow luminance, shedding some light upon a long plastic table that had a handful of folding chairs laid out as if for a meal. Kell began to set the table, laying out disposable forks and knives and plates from a nearby cupboard, giving nothing but a warm grin as she noticed that Esper James had staggered over to the table, already beginning to pore over the contents of the takeaway.

The first item was in her mouth before she could even consider it - a burst of fish flavor, umami, and blessed fats, drizzling down her throat as she chewed the entire item to a simultaneously crispy-and-wet state of maceration. A cursory glance between individual chews revealed the contents of her mouth: bao, made piscator-style. The wrapper had been replaced with a more palatable pouch of crispy salmon skin, fried to perfection, the interior filling a blend of whitefish and pork that was reduced to a raw, ponzu-infused paste before cooking. The taste of garlic and white pepper mingled with the citrus tang of the ponzu, the amalgam meat within succulent and juicy from pork fat, the crisp exterior offering texture and crunch without being too substantial for fang-owners to have difficulty chewing.

The rest of the offerings in the box - eggrolls, pot stickers, wontons - were similarly produced. The fillings may have been different, but based on the smell, they were mostly similar. Similar enough to not upset the palate. The scent was luxurious, as well: the intertwined meats, soft aroma of fish and comforting fragrance of pork, the stinging savoriness of the fried fish skin, the creamy, cushioning bouquet of the rendered fats. EJ couldn't hold back - she couldn't even wait for Kell to say something to her about it. Her hands were set into motion immediately as the full force of the perfume of the takeaway enraptured her ravenous stomach, funneling piece after piece into her waiting maw.

Kell let out a spurt of laughter once again, sneaking one of her hands in to begin selecting pieces even as EJ attacked the contents of the box. Off on the other side of the room, Purity began to push herself to a stand of her own, awakened by the raucous clatter her new lover was making. Once EJ had started to flag on her rapacious consumption, Kell set down the bottle of pills and pushed it to EJ, the cap already undone. "Take one. I can smell it on you, you know; I bet everyone within ten feet of you would be able to, too. Hey, Purity, can you smell that? The blood in the air? The ferrous tang of iron, the sting of copper?" Kell spoke just as heartily and wholesomely as she acted, all too happy to give EJ some time alone with the takeaway as she turned to address the pinkette.

Purity, still fighting off sleep's greed-laden grasp, blinked a few times before finally answering. She nodded as she responded, putting a hand out against the nearest wall to steady herself. "...yeah. She's hungry, yeah? Awwwh... Poor baby, honestly. I know she's been without it for a few days, but... Well, it's kinda sad to see her like this. A few days away from feral... Here. I've got an idea." The ex-party girl forced her legs to comply with her desire to close the distance, taking up the seat directly beside EJ, putting one arm around her ghoulfriend's back and the other going to EJ's thighs to fish for her hidden knife. Finding nothing there except the usual warmth, she reached into one of her own pockets and managed to draw free a diminutive pocketknife.

Kell watched, curious, but not too curious to prevent her from producing some red plastic cups and place them at every woman's seat. These were filled with lukewarm water from a nearby jug, the kind you keep for disaster prepping. Once EJ's was filled, Purity rolled back her sleeve and extended an arm over the cup; her other hand flicked the knife open, and Kell's breath drew up into her chest in a singular gasp.

Purity gave the blade a quick drag across her own bare flesh, across the street rather than down the road, hesitation foregone in the name of decisiveness. Blood began to gather speedily, soon blood enough to make the red fluid trickle down into the water of EJ's cup, diluting the red into a soft pink. Purity grit her teeth from the sting of broken flesh, but still found a smile to offer her lover. EJ, who had been nearing completion on her culinary rampage, felt every muscle in her body come alight with activity. Just the scent of fresh blood was enough to awaken a beast prowling in her soul's rusted cage, and looking down to meet the sight of it upon Purity's flesh, and dripping sweetly into her cup? It was undeniable.

She drained the cup in mere seconds, her hunger only further titillated as the blood-tinged water entered her system. Her body howled and screamed at her to consume, to find more, to drink as much as she could - it wasn't as strong as it had been when Purity had drugged her with human meat, but it was still all-consuming. Her hands raced out lightning-quick, still a bit greasy from the food, and took hold of Purity's forearm by the elbow and wrist. In an instant, the ghoul's mouth was upon her - but this time, without the introduction of fangs. She had managed to hold herself back at least that much.

Drinking blood straight from the vein was akin to ambrosia on tap. It was a full-body reaction: muscles flexed and relaxed, contorted and reset, vision becoming simultaneously hazy and laser-focused as her lids began to droop in ecstasy. An awakening in EJ's loins was met by laughter from Purity, who pulled the blonde closer with her free hand; it went without saying that Esper James could glut herself on nectar till she was sick, till she was drunk. In certain circles, the phenomena of blood over-consumption was called getting 'bled out', and as it stood, Purity seemed as though she would be happy to let EJ get bled out in her care.

Kell whistled long and loudly, starting high, ending low. She offered Purity a comforting grin, followed by a conspiratorial wink. "Hey, god damn, what's a girl gotta do to get some'a that for herself? Hahahahaha! But no, like, damn... Not a lot of mortals'll just give it up for their partners like that. Shit, even the most dedicated coffin-jockeys would rather just end the relationship than play with fire like that, giving a hungry ghoul something to drink. You two must be close, eh? Maybe I'll move my sleeping bag to a different room, give you some privacy..." Another wink followed; no laughter this time, but the grin remained. Purity couldn't keep from feeling a new flow of that sacred red as her cheeks turned rosy, uncharacteristically bashful of Kell's words.

"Look! She... She needs it, right? It's not her fault she's gotta drink blood to survive... And it's been a bit since she's had her pills, so I wanted to give her something nice before she takes more. They're like poison. I've heard all the rumors about how they're made, what's in 'em... They're bad stuff." Purity's defense was met with a roll of the eyes from Kell, but no refutation, only a shrug. EJ continued to whine and coo into the pale expanse of Purity's arm, body spasming as the fresh blood impacted her stomach and her nerves. She was a woman possessed - in the throes of divinity that could only be likened to a drug trip, moaning and whimpering as if in the heat of impassioned rut, eyes aflutter and body ashiver in their euphoria.

"C'mon. Let's eat. You're gonna need to replace that blood, anyways... And EJ seems done with her food. Looks like there's still some left for us, hahaha..." Kell extricated a single black pill from the pill bottle, setting it on EJ's untouched plate like the world's saddest hors d'oeuvre. It was Purity's turn now to roll her eyes and sigh, unable to stop herself from feeling a little elation of her own at the enthusiasm of EJ's feeding, and all that it entailed. She removed her second arm from EJ's backside and went to start eating, making idle conversation with Kell while their shared blonde secretary plummeted deeper and deeper into the canyons of red excess. Bled out, indeed.