Heartthrob

As fresh blood filled her mouth, her own stagnant essence rushed through her veins with a speed that hadn't been seen since... since she was alive. Warmth crashed through her body like a summer's heatwave, like a tidal flow from a boiling ocean, and she relished it as much as she resented it. The scents in the room swelled - Purity's pink perfume and bubblegum breath, Alex's nervous sweat and musky cologne, Kristoff's aroma of cigarettes and shaving cream. Behind them came the bloom of colors and sounds: the gentle hiss of remnant grease on the stovetop, the yellow and smoke-damaged wallpaper of the kitchen, the twinkle of light through the decorative bulb-cover of the hanging lamp over the table. She felt amazing; better than amazing, even. She felt alive.

She fought with herself about the meat while Purity set down her chopsticks, hands moving to caress EJ's head and put fingers through her hair in a loving and comforting motion. Alex continued to grin, wordless, and Kristoff had gone off to pour the rest of them a drink - three more screwdrivers in quick succession, cheap vodka and cheap juice glug-glug-glug-ing out of their respective containers. Even the sound of that felt crisp and defined, so perfectly clear that Esper James felt as though she could envision the making of the drinks with her eyes closed. She could practically hear the soft hiss, crackle, and pop of the ice as it was added.

Nausea raised up halfway in her throat as she started to chew, the delicious flavor of garlic and pepper mingling with that savory umami that only red meat could truly provide; it made her whole mouth tingle and her salivary glands work double-time to capture the entirety of the thin sliver's delicate taste. Her mind was halved now. Should she enjoy this? Her body told her yes, that she should - that it was delicious, that it made her feel real again, instead of some freak, some half-dead drone whose only joy in life was getting home and going to sleep. It alleviated the stresses of her day-to-day in a way that even the bloodwine Judas had given her couldn't hope to match; it was the real deal, the genuine article. Flesh of a type indisputable in its power and origin.

But in her brain, in her conscience, she was screaming. Her blood and bones worked against her, muscles forcing her jaw into motion even when she knew it was wrong. She wanted to spit it out as soon as possible, wanted to be free of it so badly that tears welled in the corners of her eyes. How could Puri do this to her? Or rather, why would she? She just needed her meds, after all - they could have gone and got them, could have headed to the drug store and bought more together, could have stayed safe and kept themselves out of trouble... but looking at the other two in the room, it was obvious this wasn't the first time Purity had introduced a girl like her to this sort of indulgence. Alex and Kristoff were in on it to the point that they didn't really seem to care about her reaction; they'd seen it enough times before that it didn't even phase them. This may as well be watching paint dry for them. That thought sickened her more than anything else.

And then she swallows.

An immediate reaction occurs in her gut. That is to say, the nausea she had been feeling came to an ugly, bitter head, the ferocious bile of her genetically-altered stomach pushing up through her esophagus to present an immediate problem. She makes a rough hurkh sound and lurches forwards, catching her spew in her mouth, but struggling not to heave once more.

Purity's eyes widen, her perfect, beautiful lips splitting to say something, to call out to the others, but Alex is already prepped with a garbage pail he'd been keeping beneath the table. His arms push it forwards to EJ's chest and Purity helps the bundled-up blonde lean forwards, her upset stomach given free reign to paint a Picasso upon the off-white bin liner. Minutes feel like millennia as she vacates her stomach into the plastic pail, eyes shut tight, ears all-too-keen to the sound of individual chunks and droplets hitting the liner. On the other side of the kitchen, Kristoff is laughing a deep belly laugh that makes her eardrums thrum with the bass of it.

And then it's done, and a napkin comes across her lips to clean her. The screwdriver she'd been poured follows closely behind to wash her mouth of the taste of bile, and while you usually shouldn't drink booze on an empty stomach she doesn't seem to mind this time. It swishes between her razor-teeth and fills her mouth with the tart, bitter flavor of alcoholic orange juice; her tongue swirls it about to clean away the vomit, swallowed down after a few moments more of the boozy rinse. When it's all gone she exhales, trembling, her eyes half-lidded.

"...are you ok, EJ? Do you need to take a bit to yourself? Look, I know, it's hard your first time... It's really hard. But you're not gonna feel better unless you swallow at least a little bit, alright? You were really crazy before... Look." Purity slowly reaches up to her own left shoulder, expression sad but a smile on her face, while the hazy secretary and the IRE exec watch. Pulling her coat down a bit, Purity reveals a patchwork of medical gauze and pads, dark with dried blood, taped and wrapped there by hand. Esper James gasps aloud, eyes wide and shaky, gaze darting up to Puri. The pinkette only smiles, covering her wound back up and re-adjusting her coat so that it was fully put away. Alex said nothing. After a few seconds, Kristoff returned to dole out the booze for the others at the table - Alex's was a deeper, darker orange, and smelled a bit of iron and copper.

EJ swallowed hard. God, she hadn't meant to go crazy on Purity like that... Was that what this was all about? Her hallucinations? Her weird dreams? Her instability? Was it the meds doing it to her - making her crazy, making her vicious, and violent, and hungry? Purity was just a human, after all... She was vulnerable to people like EJ, to monsters with sharp teeth and modified strength and claws that could rend flesh as easily as tissue paper. And yet, she had fought EJ off and still managed to clean herself up enough to go out. She had had the kindness to bring the secretary here to do what she could to help her, rather than abandon her or turn her in after her own life was put into such danger. A lump formed in the blonde's throat.

"I... Puri... I-I'm, uh... I'm sorry. You're- you're right, I should try to... Try to eat some. Can you give me some more? I, uhm, don't think I actually kept any of that first piece in my stomach..." She put on a wary smile, but it was obvious that she was smiling for Puri's sake. In truth, she was still terrified, and a bit revolted. Everyone had to choke down some awful medicine in their life, right? For their own good? For their own health? That's what Esper James would have liked to believe... But staring at the slivers of flesh before her, her previously emptied stomach tried to twist itself into a know.

Purity nodded, giving her girlfriend a kiss on the forehead that left behind a pink stain of love and lipgloss. She truly believed this would be the help that EJ needed - that to sate her own ghoulish appetite, the undead office lady needed to give in rather than stave it away. Sure, the origin was gruesome, but they weren't using their bodies now, were they? Not like they'd be left to lie in the ground; the only cemeteries left in Vitus were exclusive to the rich or left as holdovers from a time before reanimation was an option. Even some of the highest of the upper class were sold to the medical field after their true deaths, or were cremated to prevent disuse of their bodies post-mortem. Puri believed that those materials, those ingredients, were better off used to serve as succor for people like EJ - people in need.

The second slice was raised tentatively to EJ's mouth, but this time the ghoulette took it in willingly. That same explosion of sensation filled her, the nausea lessened, the hunger grown at first but diminished when she began to chew and swallow. This time it stayed down in her gut where it belonged, the thin meat satiating her more than anything else ever had in recent memory. One piece became two, which became four, which became more as time went on, washed down with booze and juice in between every few pieces. Her head spun and her stomach churned but in a way that felt stable, felt good. Each piece went down easier than the last, and soon her own revulsion at the source of the sustenance had worn away into a dull afterthought; the heightened feeling of Purity's gentle hands upon her, caressing her and wiping her face of juices, lulled her into a feeling of security which drowned those ill sensations from before. Now she was comfortable and a bit sleepy in that way that comes when you eat a large meal, stomach growling gently as digestion begins.

"So...? How was it? Goo~ood?" Purity snickers beneath her breath, pulling EJ's head back into the welcoming cushion of her coat-clad bosom while the delirious diner considers her answer. The silk gloves come back on to help provide an interesting sensation for the blood-drunk ghoulette to focus on, the now silken fingers rubbing against her ears and cheeks and neck and scalp to help her truly immerse herself in the state she's in. Alex and Kristoff are talking about something else, something that EJ could hear if she tried but which she frankly doesn't give enough of a damn to focus on - Purity is her focal point for now, the anchor which keeps her grounded. She was a velvet pillar to be tied to, with a silken collar that never seemed to choke. It was good; cozy even.

"Yeah... yeah. Good. Tasty, I think. It got easier as I went, y'know? Now I just sort of feel warm, and heavy, and kind of soft, but in a good way. I feel cozy and complete. I really feel like this hug is doing a lot for me, too..." She laughed, a soft and sociable little laugh, and Purity joined her after gifting her with a kiss on the cheek. The two snuggled closely and enjoyed the sounds of one another's breathing while Kristoff and Alex spoke, EJ reveling in the feeling of change and reinvigoration her body was going through, Purity simply pleased that her newest girlfriend was taking well to this ordeal. It was no joke to be put through the withdrawals of FixAte, and EJ was doing oh-so-well for a girl of her personality.

Time seemed to slip away. At one point Kristoff turned on the radio, classic rock beginning to crackle through a dated set of speakers, the machine they were attached to clinging to life through a jury-rigged car battery. Alex started to smoke, heavily at that, and Kristoff joined him; Purity drank her screwdriver slowly, sharing sips with the already intoxicated EJ, before having a cigarette of her own once the glass was empty. Music and warmth and scent and sound washed over Esper James at every turn, crashing upon her like waves upon a stony outcropping, the assembly of outcasts and outlaws around her far more of a 'friend group' than any she had had in years. Sure, she had some online friends she had endeared herself to, and they were dear to her, but there was nothing quite like... Quite like the closeness of seeing someone, of meeting them, of knowing them.

Were these people her friends? Was she their friend in return? Purity, yes - Kristoff? Alex? They may as well be strangers. But in this moment, in this meeting, they were all implicated in something considered to be a high and heinous crime by Vitus officials. UCAS frowned upon cannibalism, of course, but in Vitus one's flesh was considered just as much a sacred treasure as it was a valued commodity: the genetic engineering and biological manipulation that was achieved here meant that the body was one's truest and most prized possession, but it was also a thing to be used, to be sold, to be bartered with and traded for. To consume the blood of another was one thing - blood was easily given in certain quantities, and vampires were seemingly immune to the diseases which blood could carry, so it was less taboo and more simply risque to imbibe the red of another's interior. Their meat, though, was far more difficult to replace - and for a second-living, the meat of another of their kind was bitter and inedible. Only the flesh of a real, true human could sate that dark hunger, and humans weren't stitched back together quickly or easily like the dead were.

Perhaps not friends, no, but co-conspirators. Friendship would come in time, and just as she may learn about them, they would learn about her. Alex worked for Tsang, and Kristoff was a veteran, just like EJ's grandfather had been. Surely they'd all have common ground, or at least be able to be comfortable enough with one another than friendship would come in time.

Purity brushed hair from EJ's face, leaning down to kiss her on the lips, a tender touching of lips becoming a passionate, deep embrace of one lover to another. She smelled like sweet smoke and vodka, her perfume mingling with the aroma of vice to give her an exotic, dangerous scent. EJ's thoughts went to femme fatales from dramas she had seen - Puri was similar, in a way. Tougher than she looked, and full of secrets and surprises... but loving still, and beautiful, and smart. She was everything Esper James needed and more.

How had she managed to be so lucky as this?