Heartbeats and Illusions

In his current state, Natsukawa Kanade was like a helpless kitten—weak, drowsy, and unwilling to do anything by himself. Even something as basic as eating had become too much effort. Instead, he simply opened his mouth as Shiina Mahiru gently fed him spoonful by spoonful.

And for Mahiru, that act—feeding him—brought a strange and overwhelming sense of warmth.

It was oddly satisfying.

It was as though something deep inside her heart had been stirred, like she'd found a secret joy she hadn't known she'd been missing.

No wonder Kanade had been so persistent about it that day…

Back then, when he had insisted on feeding her, she'd found it so embarrassing she could barely breathe. And yet now, the tables had turned—and she understood the strange delight he must've felt. The softness of the moment. The trust in it.

"Want a little more?" Mahiru asked gently, her voice like the breeze through early spring blossoms.

Though Kanade still looked drained, his appetite was surprisingly good. The entire bowl of porridge she'd brought had been eaten without complaint.

Perhaps it was the umeboshi she'd added?

She'd hesitated at first—pickled plums were a bit sharp in flavor—but ultimately decided they might stimulate his appetite. Plus, they were easy on the stomach and gentle enough for someone sick. It wasn't meant to taste amazing… but if he liked it, that was enough for her.

"…Yeah. Want more…" Kanade nodded, his voice not nearly as hoarse as before. It seemed he was slowly recovering.

"Hai hai, leave it to me!" Mahiru smiled, her eyes soft with relief. Seeing his condition improve, even slightly, made her heart flutter with a quiet happiness.

She turned toward the pot with graceful movements, ladled more porridge into the bowl, and stirred it lightly with the spoon. Then, with practiced care, she brought it close to her lips and blew gently along the surface.

Kanade, still reclined against the headboard, tilted his head and quietly watched her.

The soft strands of her golden hair caught the morning light, swaying with each movement. His eyes followed the pickled plums as they slowly unraveled in the warm porridge, their deep red color bleeding into the white rice. He watched as she carefully picked out the pits with delicate fingers, leaving only the softened pulp behind.

"Here, it should be cool enough now." Mahiru scooped up a spoonful and brought it to his lips.

He didn't speak—just opened his mouth and obediently took it in.

They repeated this simple rhythm again and again. One bite, one pause, one breath.

By the time he finished the second bowl, a subtle warmth began to bloom in his stomach. He exhaled, feeling the gentle fullness settle in.

"…Full."

"Okay, okay." Mahiru nodded, her voice cheerful and kind. "Then I'll take these out real quick. Wait for me, ne?"

She gathered the bowl, spoon, and pot onto the tray, turned on her heel, and left the room with soft, careful steps.

Kanade watched her disappear from view, his gaze lingering for a moment on the spot where she'd been. He couldn't really think straight, but something about this morning felt different—dreamlike, yet achingly real.

Moments later, the angel returned, this time carrying a thermometer in hand. Without a word, she sat beside him on the bed.

Kanade blinked slowly, expecting her to hand it over.

Instead, Mahiru leaned forward with a calm and practiced air—and began unbuttoning the front of his shirt.

"...Eh?"

Even in his half-conscious state, Kanade's mind hiccupped at the sudden intimacy. Though he vaguely remembered her dressing him earlier, experiencing it now while somewhat awake felt… different.

"What is it?" Mahiru asked, blinking innocently as she looked up at him.

The angel didn't seem to realize it—at least, not consciously.

Shiina Mahiru was still seated close, leaning in to unbutton his shirt so she could check his temperature, and from a purely practical standpoint, there was nothing strange about it. And yet… Kanade couldn't help but feel the awkwardness of their posture. She was the one undressing him, not the other way around. That fact alone should've been enough to raise a few red flags.

Still, he didn't say anything.

He didn't have the energy, and his head was throbbing too much to process it properly. Just stringing thoughts together made his temples sting, so all he could do was try to relax and surrender to the angel's quiet care.

Even so, Kanade's hazy gaze remained fixed on her face—and in doing so, he noticed something that made his heart thump faintly.

Her cheeks.

They were pink. Faintly flushed, like the inside of a sakura blossom. Her eyes were turned slightly to the side, avoiding direct eye contact. Her movements, though deliberate, carried a slight trembling hesitation. And her ears—he was sure he wasn't imagining it—they were twitching ever so slightly, like she was holding back her embarrassment.

She wasn't completely unfazed after all.

She was also shy, wasn't she? Just… trying really hard not to show it.

"…"

It hit him then, perhaps a bit late, but all the same—it was undeniable.

Shiina Mahiru was beautiful.

That was an obvious fact. Everyone at school thought so. She had the kind of charm that people usually described as angelic. But this moment—this vulnerable, flustered, and very human version of her—it felt even more striking.

It wasn't just her looks.

It was her kindness, her gentle fumbling, the way her serious mask cracked ever so slightly in these private moments. It wasn't the polished, perfect image others saw. It was real. And it was cute.

So cute that Kanade murmured before he could stop himself: "…Mahiru is so cute."

"—!?"

Her entire body stiffened, as if someone had pressed pause.

She had just finished placing the thermometer under his arm when she pulled back slightly in a panicked flurry. "W-What are you saying all of a sudden?! Baka…"

Kanade blinked.

He hadn't even meant to say it. The words had slipped out naturally, bypassing his brain entirely. But now that they were in the air, there was no taking them back.

"…"

Mahiru's face stayed red, her posture slightly stiff. For once, she wasn't able to completely hide her reaction.

Her hands fidgeted in her lap—fingers poking one another, palms pressed together, occasionally tapping against her knees as if trying to find an outlet for the flustered energy swirling around her.

The room fell into silence.

Kanade didn't say anything else. Not because he regretted it, but because he was still too foggy-headed to handle the consequences.

After what felt like a long pause, Mahiru finally leaned in again, albeit much more cautiously this time. Her motions were tentative, like she was waiting for a second sneak attack.

She glanced at him with narrowed eyes, her cheeks still faintly pink. "T-this time… no weird comments, okay? No teasing!"

"…"

Kanade simply nodded and stayed quiet. When she retrieved the thermometer, he only opened his mouth again to ask, "How is it?"

"Thirty-eight point one," Mahiru replied, frowning with concern. "Still a little high…"

Her brows knit together as she gently exhaled. The cold compress hadn't been enough, and clearly, more needed to be done.

Without thinking, she leaned in again and reached for his hand, wrapping her soft fingers around his slightly clammy palm. "But it's better than yesterday. Once you take your medicine and rest, it should go down more, ne?"

She held his hand just a little tighter. "The medicine only helps with the symptoms, though. It doesn't make the virus disappear. That's up to your body."

Her voice turned serious, almost scolding, but full of care. "So you can't push yourself tomorrow, okay? No going out, no playing hero. If something feels wrong, message me right away. Yaku-soku. Got it?"

"…"

Kanade gave her a small nod.

Even though her words were firm, the concern behind them wrapped around him like a blanket. He could tell Mahiru wasn't just saying it to be bossy. She was worried—really, honestly worried.

With her help, he took the medicine, wincing slightly at the bitterness, then sank slowly back down into bed.

"Good. Now rest," she said softly. "I'll come by again tomorrow."

As he lay there, eyes half-lidded, he felt something soft against his forehead. Mahiru had leaned over and was gently brushing her hand over his hair, smoothing it back with a tenderness that almost made his heart skip.

"…"

He felt like a pet being patted on the head. But for once, he didn't mind it.

After a few strokes, Mahiru finally straightened and rose from the bed.

"Okay. Don't forget," she said, her voice bright as she turned toward the door. "Zettai ni, no being a hero!"

"…"

Kanade watched her leave through drooping eyes, and then slowly let his eyelids close again.

The night passed in silence.

—Until morning came.

"Kanade, wake up…"

A soft, whispering voice called to him, gentle as morning dew.

He stirred beneath the covers with a quiet "Mmm…" and reluctantly peeled open his heavy eyes.

His vision was still a little fuzzy from sleep, but even through the haze, he saw her.

Framed by sunlight pouring in through the window, Shiina Mahiru's face slowly came into focus. She was kneeling on the bed, leaning forward slightly, close enough for her presence to gently invade his senses. Her flaxen hair draped down like a curtain of silk, swaying softly like willow branches caught in the wind. A few strands mischievously brushed against his cheek, tickling him with a featherlight touch.

"…Mahiru?" Natsukawa Kanade blinked slowly, his mind still wrapped in the haze of sleep. The angelic figure before him seemed like a vision, but the warmth in her voice told him otherwise.

"Un, ohayou." Shiina Mahiru smiled sweetly, a hint of relief flickering in her eyes. Seeing that Kanade had recovered some color in his cheeks made her feel at ease.

"…Morning." Kanade's voice was hoarse, more from sleep than illness, but there was confusion behind his words. Why was Mahiru already here, so early in the morning? He furrowed his brow slightly. "Why are you… here?"

"Eh?" Mahiru tilted her head gently, her tone turning playfully teasing. "Didn't we talk about this yesterday? I said I'd see you tomorrow, didn't I?"

"..." Kanade tried to dig through the fog in his memory, but the previous day already felt distant and dreamlike. His thoughts were murky, and a headache throbbed faintly as he tried to recall the details. He groaned quietly and brought a hand to his temple.

Seeing his troubled expression, Mahiru quickly leaned in and clarified, "I meant it literally when I said that. I came by this morning. I figured you'd still be in bad shape…"

"…Oh." Kanade looked toward the window, noticing that the curtains had been drawn back. The soft morning light filtered through, and based on its angle… Wait.

"Don't tell me… you skipped school?" His eyes widened a little as he connected the dots.

"Un." Mahiru nodded casually, without even the slightest hint of regret. "I decided taking care of you was more important."

Kanade blinked. "Wait—seriously? You? The ever-perfect angel of the school? You skipped?"

To him, Shiina Mahiru was practically the embodiment of discipline. Punctual, responsible, flawless… The thought of her skipping a day of school felt almost illegal. But the look on her face was composed and unwavering, like she hadn't the slightest doubt about her decision.

"I wanted to stay yesterday too," she admitted softly. "Whether it was in the living room or right here, at least I'd be close if something happened. But I didn't want to cause you any trouble, so I left. Still, I woke up early, did some shopping, and made a proper meal. I brought everything."

She gave a proud little nod, as if that alone justified her absence from school. Maybe… it did.

"…Is that really okay?" Kanade asked again, still uneasy. "Won't you get in trouble?"

"Iie," Mahiru said calmly, a glint of fond determination in her eyes. "Being a 'good girl' all the time isn't my goal anymore. It's not like I have to prove myself to anyone now… because someone already accepts me for who I am."

Kanade fell silent, his gaze softening. Even if her words were simple, the warmth they carried made his chest ache a little—in a good way.

"How's your body? Do you feel better?" she asked gently.

"…It's alright," Kanade replied, trying to sit up. His limbs were still heavy and his movements sluggish, but it was nothing compared to how lifeless he had felt the night before. At that time, even lifting a finger had been a challenge.

He let out a long yawn, then scratched his head. Without thinking too deeply, he reached down and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Ah… A-Ah!?" came Mahiru's startled cry.

Kanade blinked, mid-motion, his mind still sluggish. He finished taking off the shirt anyway and tossed it aside. Only then did he notice Mahiru's entire body freeze. Her hands shot up to cover her face, fingers peeking just enough to reveal her peeking eyes, which were flustered and wide. Her face had turned crimson.

"W-Why are you suddenly stripping!?" she stammered, nearly on the verge of steam coming out of her head.

"…Because I need to change clothes?" Kanade answered blankly, tilting his head. "I mean, I was sweaty all night. I thought it'd be obvious…"

"…Nnngh." Mahiru groaned softly, hiding her face again.

"…Also, I'm a guy. It's not really that big of a deal, right?" Kanade added with a shrug.

From his perspective, it wasn't that strange. Boys changed shirts in front of each other all the time during PE. Unless he was completely nude, there wasn't anything scandalous about it. Right?

"…But that's not the issue! It's me—I'm the one with the problem…" Mahiru murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Kanade paused.

The image of Mahiru's trembling form, her averted gaze, and her burning cheeks suddenly hit him harder than expected. It wasn't that she was angry. She was just… overwhelmed.

"Yare yare…" Kanade scratched his head again, letting out a light sigh. "You're really not used to this kind of thing, huh?"

Mahiru peeked at him between her fingers and gave a tiny nod.

"Well, you'll have to get used to it eventually," Kanade said nonchalantly. "Especially with summer coming up. Pools, swimsuits, water fights… You won't survive if you're this embarrassed about some skin."

"P-Pool!?" Mahiru repeated, her eyes growing wide.

It was just a passing thought for Kanade, but now that it was out there, he could already imagine it—Mahiru in a school swimsuit, standing shyly by the poolside, her cheeks flushed and her eyes glancing his way. Yeah. That was definitely a scene worth looking forward to.

"W-Well… if it's with Kanade, I'll try…" Mahiru muttered, her voice barely audible.

Kanade raised an eyebrow. "Try?"

"I… I mean, I want to enjoy summer too. So I'll try not to panic every time you take off your shirt…" she said while fidgeting, her hands nervously pressing together.

Seeing her like that, so flustered yet determined, made something flutter inside Kanade's chest.

"…Then it's a promise," he said, grinning. "I'll help you train."

Mahiru's eyes lit up with quiet resolve.

Unbeknownst to him, she had already made up her mind—before summer came, she would learn how to face these things without running away. If it was for Kanade's sake… if it meant she could stand by his side a little longer… then she'd do her best.

Ganbarimasu…!