Healing the Dark - Dragon Age Inquisition Fanfic

"No," Solas told Cole firmly. 

"But you like demons!" Cole argued.

"I enjoy the company of spirits, yes, which is part of why I do not abuse them with bindings," Solas explained.

"It isn't abuse if I ask," Cole pressed.

"Not always true." Solas came to a stop, casting him a stern look. "Also, I do not practise blood magic, which renders this entire conversation academic."

"What's going on here, then?" Hawke asked, stumbling across the pair in the courtyard.

"He won't bind me," Cole said, stalking towards Hawke. "He's a mage, and he likes demons, but he won't help. Holli couldn't and said she wouldn't learn how. No one will help me."

"I'm glad Holli was sensible enough to deny the request," Solas said, following behind. 

He would not have put it past her to try and figure it out just to do as Cole asked. He was relieved sense prevailed.

"We just saw the Grey Wardens try to raise an army of demons. You want Solas to bind you?" Hawke asked, stunned at what he was hearing.

"He has to! If Solas won't do the ritual to bind me, someone else could. Will! Like the Warden mages. And then... I'm not me anymore." There was a panicked tremor to his voice. "Walls around what I want, blocking, bleeding, making me a monster."

"A mage using blood magic could conceivably do that to any one of us, human or demon," Hawke pointed out. 

"You should ask Solas to bind you, too. And then someone can bind him."

Hawke looked to Solas, a little exasperated if he were honest. "There has to be some middle ground between 'do nothing' and 'bind Cole with blood magic.'"

"Indeed," Solas agreed. "I recall stories of amulets used by Rivaini seers to protect spirits they summoned from rival mages. A spirit wearing an amulet of the Unbound was immune to blood magic and binding. It should protect Cole as well. The resources of the Inquisition could be used to find such a talisman."

"Good," Cole huffed, turning and stalking away. "They will not take me."

Hawke and Solas watched him go.

"What brought that on?" Hawke asked.

It had been a little while since Adamant; why was Cole only bringing it up now, and why was he so panicked?

"I suspect it's been bothering him since Adamant," Solas replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "He was likely waiting until Holli was in a better frame of mind. I don't think he expected her to turn him down."

"She will hold firm on that, won't she?"

The last thing they needed was the Herald of Andraste becoming a blood mage and binding her allies. The repercussions of that getting out to the public...

"I believe she will, but I'll have a word to be sure," Solas assured him. 

"Sooner rather than later, she has an obvious soft spot for him. And she's still reeling after Adamant; it's a prime time to make stupid decisions."

Neither Solas nor Varric had informed Hawke of Holli's attempt to abandon the world and live in the Fade. Cole would be the weak link in whether or not that surfaced. Though he was getting better at keeping things to himself most of the time. 

Solas merely nodded to Hawke's request before setting off to find the girl. Though she had always been adept at keeping herself busy, she seemed to have taken it to extreme lengths lately. She used her work as a distraction; that much was obvious. 

She wasn't in her room, so he made his way to the infirmary. He found her sitting at Adan's desk and writing something. She looked up when she heard him enter, smiling faintly in greeting. 

There were a few other people in the infirmary, and he would rather have this conversation in private. 

"May I have a word, Holli?" He asked.

He saw the way her expression became guarded; likely she thought she was in trouble. Why that was always where her mind went first, he would never know. 

She got up from the desk, following him out into the corridor, looking as if she were headed to execution. 

"You're not in trouble, Holli," he told her, putting her out of her misery.

She breathed a near inaudible sigh of relief. "This is about Cole, isn't it?" She asked. 

Solas nodded. 

"Could he really be bound like the demons were?" She asked.

"It's possible."

"Should I have done it?" She asked softly. "I don't want to be like the Grey Warden mages, but..."

She may not know much about binding spirits; it wasn't an area they had explored, and as far as he knew, she hadn't pursued that kind of knowledge on her own. Her only experience was witnessing what the Grey Wardens had done. An effective cautionary tale if ever there was one.

"No, you made the right choice. I also declined him when he came to me."

"He's scared, though. How do we help him?"

"There is a talisman that may help him; Hawke is setting people to finding one. And in the meantime, if anyone does attempt to bind him, we stop them."

"Simple enough, I guess." She let out a breath, uncertainty radiating off of her. "Is he mad at me? He doesn't ask much – anything – of me, and then he finally does, and I say no."

"He is not angry with you. Just frustrated and afraid. Understandably. He may not realise it now, but you did right by him. Regardless of your intentions, binding a spirit can come with repercussions we may not be able to anticipate. And Cole's situation is already... unique."

Holli nodded her understanding. "I'll go and talk to him later."

She'd give him a bit of time first. Solas nodded, resting a hand on her shoulder a moment before taking his leave. Holli returned to the infirmary to carry on with her work, resolving to give Cole an hour or two. 

-

It took a while to eventually track him down; he wasn't in his usual spot in the tavern, nor was he perched on the battlements. He was in the barn, watching Blackwall carving something while they spoke. He seemed less frazzled than when she'd seen him last. He was sitting up in the hayloft, his legs dangling down. She looked up at him, silently asking permission to join him. His expression softened, and he shifted over to make space for her. 

She breathed a silent sigh of relief and climbed the ladder to go and sit beside him. 

"I'm sorry," she began. "I want to help you, but I can't do what you want; I'm sorry."

Cole nodded. "You don't need to be sorry. I asked too much."

Holli wondered if Blackwall had told him that, going by the way the man was casting surreptitious glances up at them while he worked. 

"Hawke is helping. Solas suggested an amulet that might keep me safe."

Holli nodded. "Solas told me."

They sat in silence. Though he had seemingly let her off the hook, she still felt bad, like she needed to make it up to him somehow. She had no idea how, though. 

"We're still... friends, right?" She asked quietly, drawing her knees up to her chest.

His eyes shot to hers, surprised. "Of course?" 

"You're not sure?" 

"I am sure. Are you?"

She nodded, smiling faintly. "Friends. As long as you'll have me anyway."

"Forever," he said, certainty dripping from the word.

He held his hand out to her, and she took it, letting them both fall between them. With that sorted, she turned her attention to Blackwall.

"What's he making?" She asked. 

"A rocking horse. One of the merchants has a son; he reminds him of himself when he was young. Gap-toothed, skinned knees, adventure in every cut and graze."

It was difficult to see Blackwall as a child. 

"Do you have any kids of your own, Blackwall?" Holli called down to him. 

"None," he replied. His tone suggested that was the end of that line of questioning. 

"Do you want kids?" She pressed, too curious for her own good.

"If I found the right person," he sighed, giving in to her quite easily. "It's difficult for Grey Wardens to have children. Near impossible the longer someone has been one."

"Oh. Sorry," she said, wincing at putting her foot in it. She should have taken the hint. 

"Oi! I been looking for you two everywhere!" Sera called, appearing in the barn.

"Maker's Breath, now I've got three of them," Blackwall mumbled. 

"Not for long, you grumpbum," Sera retorted. "Come on, it's training time, Holli."

Holli's spirit sank. Sera was mean when they trained. Solas had to restrain her when she took it too far a few times. 

"Okay, I'm coming," Holli sighed, getting up to make her way down. 

She had forgotten she was supposed to be meeting the others for it this afternoon. Maybe on purpose.