Hazbin Hotel: Singed Wings

Seraphim, cum alis ignis,

In caelo fulget diei.

Spiritus lucis, ad altum ducens,

Amorem fert in spatia somnii.

Who said it would be easy? When you are about to start working in a new field where no research has been conducted or where science is still uncharted, your expectations for progress should be realistic.

By exploring and experimenting with Ether, we can only make guesses and formulate hypotheses based on which we can build theories to then test in practice. It's not that we are pioneers in this direction; rather, we see meaning in knowledge where others see just another line from the Bible. We are literally trying to glimpse into the Divine Design.

Dante said that the idea for the project was born when he witnessed the song of the Seraphim penetrating deep into his soul, when he was still a simple guardian angel. As he confessed to me while telling this story, that moment ignited a fire within him. Just like I did, he buried himself in libraries, seeking knowledge so he could later go to the Department of Research and Development, determined to uncover every grain of knowledge available in public repositories.

Ultimately, his journey led him to the Department of Sin, which he later headed, "taking flight," as they call the promotion of an angel's rank in Heaven, to Archangel.

Why not become a Supreme Cherubim?

Supreme Cherubim, to which Dante had already been offered promotion twice, cannot conduct research based on the knowledge they preserve. If a Cherub wants to engage in research activities, they can only use data that has not yet been stored in their own library. It seems pointless, doesn't it? If your developments might require literature that is stored in your own library?

It turns out that Cherubim who oversee public libraries do not conduct research; they are merely custodians and managers, and no one else is appointed. If a prospective "Elevated" wants to create something, they must submit a request for the research itself, obtain permission, and then go to the Department of Research, where they'll get a couple of references outlining their topic and the literature approved by the Department. From there, you need to go to the Department of Chronicles, which will register your research in the database...

Usually, this can be bypassed through connections, favors, or requests. In such matters, no one ever uses wings or eyes. No one wishes to forfeit a potential opportunity to showcase themselves before the Third Circle for just a breath of air.

Therefore, my Supervisor recommends "elevation" only to the rank of Archangel, which will expand my opportunities in the City and allow me to... "Better understand the Miracle," as Dante said.

He couldn't explain it any clearer, much to our mutual frustration. Suddenly, he began to see what he hadn't seen as a simple Righteous One, gaining abilities he didn't possess before. Studying this matter before we understand the nature of the Miracle and the Ether doesn't make sense, as elevation comes from the Miracle and… the Holy Spirit?

Therefore, we want to study the topic of Ether and the Miracle as quickly as possible. However, two months into our joint efforts, we haven't made as much progress as we would have liked.

One of the main problems with studying Ether is the lack of fundamental knowledge and laws. We are essentially wandering through a dense forest, trying not to get lost. All the rules and laws are likely in the minds of the Seraphim, while the scraps that have been recorded are locked away by the Cherubim. The same goes for the Miracle. We end up wasting extra time verifying things that we could avoid if we had records of past research.

Why not just ask to look into the Cherubim archives? The topic of Ether is one of the restricted subjects for general access in the Departments. General access is available to all ranks of angels and Departments below the Third Circle. The reason for such censorship is quite simple: the other Circles simply do not work with Ether; otherwise, each Department would have to submit reports in this category. When a Department and its Divisions compile a quarterly report, they literally write down everything they used, every category, every topic, each of which requires permission. The main body of data on Ether is stored in the Third Circle, with slightly more information available in the Second. But Dante has already sifted through almost all the sources from the Second, and we have no access to the Third.

So, Dante and I have to figure things out and invent a bicycle with eight burning wheels and eyes, capable of rolling even God.

Why go to such lengths for what seems like a simple modification of the Miracle and prayers? Ether is the foundation of everything: Light, Darkness, the Holy Spirit, and the Miracle itself. In theory, if we master this direction at least on a minimally practical level, we would be using not the Miracle, but Ether itself. And therein lies the danger of this research.

God grants His servants (all heavenly beings) miracles in exchange for unquestioning worship. "Knowledge that destroys faith is sin," it is written in one of the well-known treatises of Heaven on Ether. If we find a way to perform the supernatural without the Miracle or magic, we would automatically put ourselves in line at the Department of Repentance, where kind Cherubim and cheerful special-class Anafim work.

Ether can theoretically allow us to bypass the Rules and even the Divine Laws. Dante said he would ask his acquaintances among the Supreme Cherubim—those who wouldn't betray us right away—and try to find out something from the books on Ether, assigning me to conduct the remaining experiments. He assured me that we wouldn't be granted access to knowledge without a struggle, so we would have to incur debts. Not monetary debts; that nonsense is left on Earth, but debts in the form of favors or requests that cannot be refused. At least, not unless you are covered by an angel of a higher rank or a Seraphim themselves.

Dante insisted that if I ever managed to become an assistant to one of the Seraphim, it would be "wonderful" if I could cover for them and gather knowledge without the need to involve third parties.

Dante would make me an Archangel too, so we could expand our capabilities, but he doesn't want me to get distracted by what he's already working on. Besides, if I become an Archangel, I would automatically step out from under his leadership, and our work would come to a standstill, since I would then have my own subordinates to oversee and all that...

Of course, this is assuming I become an Archangel "officially." Theoretically, if I could somehow conceal the fact of my elevation, I could have the abilities of an Archangel while remaining an Angel.

So now, I'm working on a ritual formula. We haven't yet decided how to transform a simple angel into an Archangel. The project is slightly less complex than developing my own methodology for Ether or studying part of the Divine Design, which even the Seraphim don't dare to touch... At least this is feasible with magic... in theory. The use of magic, at least earthly magic, is possible only in a strictly protected space; otherwise, the Afanims would detect us in an instant, and then we'd be in trouble, as per the point on disclosing Ether research.

Our plan is as follows: complete the "Ethereal" project, create a formula-ritual from the "Ascension" project, develop spells that conceal us even from the… Seraphim and Afanims, which we still haven't decided how to name the actions that manipulate Ether, and then we should start studying the Miracle.

So far, our two projects—"Ethereal," focused on the study of Ether, and "Ascension," aimed at transforming an angel into an Archangel—are causing more trouble and headaches, even though I'm an angel and Dante is an Archangel. They consume our time and lower the productivity levels of the entire Department, forcing us to work overtime to maintain our performance metrics, not to mention the paperwork...

Sometimes, it feels to me like Heaven is one big test of willpower, and if you can endure it, you'll end up in Double Heaven, where you can actually rest, unburdened by all these prohibitions, rules, and responsibilities... which come to an angel if they dare to venture into the Second Circle.

Dante said you get used to it after a couple of centuries; I'm inclined to believe him.

And there's also the joint project... writing this guide for the Righteous... I should brew some more tea...

*** POV Amedeo *** 

Amedeo was a curious angel; she simply adored collecting various stories, gossip, and observing the behavior of other angels. Quite often, she would just sit in the common office when her colleagues—at least a couple—were at their workstations, simply watching the overall atmosphere of the team.

Typically, Fedelia stood out with her constant stream of various angels into her personal office, from which shouts often erupted. To counter this, Dante developed a special prayer that blocks the noise from the office. Lía was such a charmer, a passionate nature, so full of life and ideas! Often, it was from her escapades and personal tales that Amedeo wrote her... "heretical" books. Such literature must exist to serve as a trial for an angel's faith, challenging them to overcome temptation and return to virtue!

Also, Frol and Theodor are quite interesting. Theo, their quiet sweetheart, constantly treats his colleagues, especially if he has cooked something in excess; he calls it a "tasting," although he just enjoys cooking for others. Amedeo doesn't know what Theodor does in their department or how he ended up there, but once you try his cooking, you won't want to stop. Amedeo doesn't understand why, but there's something... about Theo's food! Something that inspires her and gives her pleasant dreams every time! Not just those "heretical" ones, but also ones that allow her to touch the Holy Spirit itself!

As for Frol, he's always staging little scenes, whether it's Philip accidentally spilling his coffee on her or Virgil, who occasionally argues with Frol on various topics. They are so cute! She even wrote a draft of a steamy conclusion to one of their debates, where Virgil, whose patience finally snapped, tears the clothes off Frol and "silences" her with his "argument"!

This is one of her hobbies. She already has drafts featuring Theodor and Remigius, Frol and Philip, Fedelia and Dante...

And recently, she has new favorites... their Department Head Dante and the new "Sin," Virgil. Amedeo isn't exactly sure, but Philip mentioned something about joint research... So intriguing, so inspiring! What are they doing behind closed doors? Why does Virgil keep bringing tea to the Head? What do they do when they stay late?

Amedeo knows the answer—debauchery! They must be...

Her thoughts were interrupted by the very subjects of her contemplation. Virgil and Head Dante were heading to the cafeteria, where Theodor had already prepared sushi for the others. How interesting... Head Dante calls Virgil "Vitalik," while Virgil calls Dante "Dantes." And the way Virgil looks at Dante... Have their relationships gone that far?! She must write about this immediately!

…

"This dirt will not be published!"

Surprisingly, it turns out that Greed sometimes writes stories about her colleagues. Fedelia told me about it when we were all gathered near Dante's office, not quite realizing what was happening, when shouts started coming from the designated office of our mechanical Leader.

It's a peculiar phenomenon in itself. What could have happened to disturb the eternally calm and self-assured Archangel?

It turns out that Amedeo writes... strange literature; for some reason, she describes romantic relationships between real souls, not fictional characters. Yes, they are based on images, tropes, or actual angels, but these are indeed "characters," embodiments of the author's ideas.

It turned out that this time Amedeo wrote a story, "to arrange a match," as Fedelia called this trash, about me and Dante... a romantic story, with scenes of a sexual nature... You know, I support Dante.

"But, Head, you can't..." Amedeo's voice was full of innocent confusion and bewilderment. Another fact is that she periodically lets Dante read her writings, part of which he shares with me.

"I swear by the Flame of Creation, I will send this to the Department of Heresy, where they will issue a decree banning ALL forms of this 'literature' if you dare to publish anything like this in any form!" The mechanical voice of the Head, usually quiet and calm, was now filled with emotion like never before. Even the veterans of the Department, such as Frol and Remigius, who had worked with the Head since his arrival in the Department, noted that they hadn't heard their boss so emotional in a long time—about five centuries.

"I allow you to engage in this only as long as this material doesn't leave your desk or our Department, but!" It was hard to make out through the closed door, but it seemed Dante even stood up from his desk. "If 'this' goes any further..."

His voice, for the first time during this reprimand, dropped.

"I swear to God, I'll send you and all this nonsense to the Department of Divine Love!" Dante never curses, and you can't just utter His name in Heaven.

"But, Head Dante, they might... like it..." Amedeo's voice turned almost to a whisper.

"I don't care what they might like; you will not let this garbage see the light of God! End of discussion!" Dante slammed both hands on the table.

With that, the incident came to a close: trembling Amedeo was escorted out by Fedelia, while the others returned to their tasks.

A typical day in the Department of Sin.

Well, there you have it... You just try to build a rapport with your research colleague, be attentive to the needs of those around you (I'm not the only one bringing Dante tea for drinking), and stay late to help with the paperwork so we can work on our projects tomorrow, and suddenly you're being "matched up" with your colleague...

Is that really how it looks from the outside?