Hazbin Hotel: Another Adam

"Almost there, little bitches!" Blitz shouted gleefully, sharply turning the steering wheel and directing his jalopy towards a huge, bizarre building with a round roof shaped like a giant golden ball, textured like a honeycomb.

The villa district in the Gluttony Ring, where the Mistress of Gluttony resided, was strikingly different from the usual gloomy and dreary landscape of the rest of Hell that I was used to: everything around here was done in some unnaturally bright, almost acidic, light tones – yellow, orange, gold. Instead of bare rocks and scorched earth – neat green lawns, strewn with flowers of strange, whimsical shapes, and sprawling trees with leaves like palm trees. Even the sky here was different – not crimson-red like in the Pride Ring, but some warm, golden-orange.

The buildings themselves – villas, mansions, palaces – also amazed with their outlandishness and abundance of gold. Spires, turrets, twisted columns, everything gleamed and shimmered so much that it hurt the eyes. Honestly, this whole atmosphere somewhat resembled Heaven… Designed by some drunk confectioner.

By the way, perhaps I haven't spoken much on this topic before, but to create objects from Light, I need to at least roughly understand their composition, structure, and principle of operation. So, I can easily create a simple pistol or sword because I know their structure and functionality, albeit not thoroughly. But, say, assembling a full-fledged computer from Light, or even more so, a smartphone with access to the hellish internet – that's a more difficult task: simple knowledge that there's a processor, video card, RAM, and other components will clearly not be enough here. One needs to understand the physical processes occurring inside these pieces of hardware, to have a deeper knowledge of the structure of each element, of the interaction of materials… That's how it is. That's why I can easily create a glass of pure water (I still remember the H2O formula from school), but I won't be able to brew a cup of tea from Light without knowing the exact ingredients, their processing method, and brewing technique, although, taste and preparation method might suffice.

Why did I start this tedious conversation about local magic? It's simple. We're going to visit the local Beelzebub, the "Mistress of Gluttony," and this cunning little fox (or whatever her demonic breed is? Supposedly a bee, judging by her nickname "Queen Bee" and her love for honeycombs, but she looks like a furry fox…) has spent years studying the various subtleties of culinary arts and gastronomy: literally all the best chefs who ended up in Hell after death have passed through her grasping little hands one way or another (and she deeply didn't give a shit about the prohibition for Deadly Sins to leave their Circles for long, let alone traipse around Pentagram City without a special invitation from Lucifer). So I, as a true connoisseur of delicious and varied food (shawarma from my past life – that's my everything, I still miss it sometimes!), am going to combine business with pleasure today and stuff myself! With all sorts of hellish delicacies, I mean, and at the same time – check this "Queen Bee" with my "Eye of Adam" for cooperation with Eve. And, if I succeed, beat a couple of recipes out of her. Purely for general development, of course. Alcohol, both in my past life and in this one, didn't particularly interest me, and it would have practically no effect on my enhanced body anyway. Just a slight dizziness for a couple of minutes, no more.

"You just came for your daughter, right?" I asked Blitz, curiously examining the landscapes of the Gluttony Ring. "So what 'little bitches' were you talking about then?"

"Ah fuck, it's just a figure of speech, don't get hung up on the words, huh?" he waved me off, sharply braking his clunker next to a rather remarkable individual: a young and tall hellhound with long gray hair gathered in a messy ponytail, and piercing red eyes with white irises. She was dressed in a rather revealing but stylish dark red dress that favorably emphasized her slender figure. Loona – Blitz's adopted daughter. She looked… sad, perhaps?

"Yo, Loony, you alright?.." Blitz's voice changed instantly. All his feigned bravado and vulgarity vanished somewhere. Even when he was "loading" me here at my request, he was somehow unusually quiet and subdued, and only the music managed to cheer him up, but now, looking at his clearly upset adopted daughter, he looked more like… a caring, albeit slightly clumsy father.

"I'm fine," Loona grumbled, not even glancing in my direction. She, it seemed, simply hadn't noticed me in the back seat (and I absolutely was NOT deliberately hiding under a cloak of invisibility, angel's honor!). She quickly jumped into the car, sat next to Blitz, crossed her arms over her chest, and turned to the window. "Just drive…"

Her face was… Well, it was pitiful to look at. She clearly wasn't crying only because of her character and teenage stubbornness, but her lips were trembling, her head was bowed, and there was such longing in her eyes that even I felt a little uneasy. Damn, what did they do to her here to get her in such a state?

"Oh, is that Blitzo?!" a loud, joyful shout suddenly came from the side. The windows in Blitz's car, naturally, were wide open; the hellish heat was making itself known.

"It ends without an 'o,' you asshole ringer!" Blitz immediately snapped back, but already in his usual, defiant tone. It seemed his daughter's presence made him a bit constrained.

A small imp, dressed in a tank top and shorts, with a shark tooth on a string around his neck, ran up to the car.

"Oh come on, I recognized you right away!" The imp put his hand to his head, scratching the crown. "Fuck, where have you been?" He waved his hand towards Beelzebub's huge honey "ball"-mansion, from which loud music and drunken yells were coming. "Came to party?"

"Not this time…" Blitz shook his head. "I came to pick up my little girl," he nodded at Loona, who shrank even more and tried to cover her face with her hands.

"No fucking way! You're a father now?!" The imp looked into the car with genuine surprise, staring at Loona.

"I'M ADOPTED!!!" Loona screamed loudly and hysterically, throwing her head back towards the car ceiling, then covered her face with her hands again.

"Damn, man, you leaving already?" The imp in the tank top seemed genuinely upset. "It's just getting started! Come with us, show 'em how to party hard!"

"Nah, nah, thanks," Blitz shook his head again. "I think Loona wants to go home already."

At that moment, someone else approached the car – a tall, muscular hellhound (that's how it's declined, right?), dressed in a purple tracksuit and a black T-shirt with a large white skull. He looked at Loona with interest, who, feeling someone block the light from the window, removed her hands from her face and looked up at him.

"Oh, the cutie's leaving already?" The hellhound winked at her and brazenly leaned his elbow on the roof of Blitz's car, letting out an inviting growl.

"Watch your tongue!" Blitz immediately flared up, his eyes flashing angrily.

"Well, you know…" Loona, surprisingly, even smiled a little. Hasn't anyone complimented her before? "We could… stay a bit longer?.." She looked hopefully at Blitz.

"Time to go home," Blitz said firmly. "We've lingered here long enough."

"And your friends are here, like… Come on! I don't think I'll chicken out this time…"

Blitz just sighed heavily and tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Please…" Loona made such a cute little face and even started wagging her tail that even my heart skipped a beat. Cute, of course, though a bit strange for a hellhound (and not a regular puppy).

"Alright, you talked me into it!" Blitz gave in, rubbing his eyes with his palm. "Maybe one drink!"

"Thank you! Thank you! You're the best!" Loona joyfully threw her arms around him, then, turning around, finally noticed me, calmly sitting in the back seat and watching this family drama with interest, while finishing a bag of popcorn (yes, I always carry a small supply with me, just in case). "Huh?! And who the hell are you?! And what are you doing in the car?!"

"'Sup, cutie," I winked at her, nonchalantly chewing on popcorn. "My name is Baal. Nice to meet you." I opened the door and got out of the car, looking around.

The area around Beelzebub's mansion was… impressive. A huge, well-kept garden with beautiful plants. The building itself, with that "honey ball" on the roof, shimmered with gold in the rays of the hellish sun (or whatever they have here instead). The music thundered so loudly that the ground vibrated underfoot. Crowds of demons of all sorts – imps, hellhounds, succubi, incubi, even a couple of Goetia representatives (judging by their appearance) – were already having a blast, drinking, wolfing down food, and dancing to some wild, rhythmic music. And, unlike "Earthly" parties, no one was fucking here… At least, not openly.

"The Deadly Sins live well…" I whispered, remembering the miserable, dilapidated shacks of the common inhabitants of the Wrath Ring, memories of which surfaced in my mind. The contrast was striking.

"That asshole 'asked' me to drive him here," Blitz meanwhile whispered to Loona, nodding in my direction. "Don't talk to him much, Loony, he's a fucking shady type."

"Ahem… Alright, Dad, got it," Loona nodded and, pretending I didn't exist, turned back to that doggy who had called her a cutie. "I'm Loona. And what's your name, handsome?"

Oh, these lonely young ladies…

Ignoring them, I calmly strolled through the territory, looking around and activating my "Eye." The artifact on my neck vibrated barely noticeably, but remained silent for now – I detected no signs of Eve's influence on anyone present. Strange.

There really was a lot to see here. Everything around was stylized to look like honeycombs – from the architecture of the buildings to the patterns on the paths and the shape of the lamps. On numerous tables scattered throughout the garden, there was a lot of diverse food – mountains of roasted meat of all sorts and sizes, some incomprehensible but appetizingly smelling stews and pottages, exotic fruits, pastries, cakes… No wonder "Queen Bee" was so famous for her feasts. You could really stuff yourself here until you lost your pulse. Literally.

I approached one of the tables and took a large goblet with some golden, foaming liquid. Judging by the smell – mead. The very same that Beelzebub herself "brews," naturally, not by hand, but with her magic. I take a sip… M-m-m… Quite good. I would even say, delicious. Very sweet, tart, with some spicy notes. But… still not Heaven's level. In Heaven, any food and drink was… purer? I don't know how to explain it. Here, in this mead, there was a certain… heaviness? And yes, I know perfectly well that all food and drinks created by Beelzebub contain tiny particles of her power – the concept of Gluttony. They cause insatiable hunger and thirst, forcing you to drink and eat more and more, and on earthly creatures… Remember that fish from the cartoon that drank some hellish crap and turned into a giant monster? That's pretty much how it works. Turns ordinary animals into insatiable beasts, craving to devour all living things. Cute.

"Hey, handsome! You're new here, right?" Some… um… furry demoness approached me? A cross between a hellhound and… a poodle? Tall, slender, with a lush pink "hairstyle" of fur on her head and matching pink cuffs on her paws and tail. She was wearing a provocatively short black dress with a deep cleavage. "My name is Lala. Don't you want to have some fun with us, sweetie?" She coquettishly wagged her tail and pointed to a small group of similar furry demons and imps who were already making out انرژیously and lapping up some blue crap. "We have excellent dope straight from Belphegor, the best champagne, and uninhibited company! Are you in?"

She came very close, wrapped her arm around mine, and brazenly pressed her ample bosom against me… Fuck, where is she putting my hand?!

"Ahem… I am most grateful for such a flattering offer, esteemed Lala, but I'm afraid I must decline," I tried to disengage my arm as politely but firmly as possible, putting on an expression of universal sorrow and regret. In my past life, I always found it difficult to refuse people, especially persistent girls, so over time, I developed a habit of doing it… well, like this. With the air of a goddamn "blue-blooded prince forced to reject the love of a commoner due to duty to the empire." Cringey, to put it mildly.

"Oh, come on, sweetie!" Lala pouted her full lips, painted with bright red lipstick. "You wouldn't abandon a poor, lonely lady in distress, would you?.. I'm so bored today… And you're so… interesting…"

"I must refuse," I shook my head negatively, then put on a thoughtful expression. "Although…"

"Well? Come on!" She joyfully perked up, her eyes shining with anticipation.

"Nah, go fuck yourself, you flea-bitten slut," I replied with my most charming smile, then sharply grabbed her with the very hand she had been so insistently pressing her chest against and forcefully launched her straight into that very company of her perverted buddies. The shrieking pink projectile crashed into them with such force that the whole pile of bodies, fur, and limbs scattered in different directions like bowling pins. "Woo-hoo! Strike, bitch!"

In the next moment, the clearing exploded! Not from an explosion, but from enthusiastic shouts, whistles, and applause! It seemed the other "reveling" demons had noticed my little performance and were now happily cheering me on.

"Get 'em! Fuck that pink whore!"

"Fucking awesome, dude! Attaboy!"

"Damn! Now that's power! A real MAN!"

Yes, yes, I now seem to be a local celebrity and a crowd favorite. "Lord of the Flying Poodles" is my name... Hmm…

"What's all this fun going on here? And who's this brave one throwing my guests around the garden?" The voice was low, velvety, with a slight hoarseness and clearly discernible "honeyed" notes. The hostess of this celebration of life herself approached me, swaying her hips nonchalantly. Beelzebub.

She looked… strange. Very strange and alluring at the same time. Tall, almost my height. Figure – hourglass, ample bosom, thin waist, large hips; she was wearing a pink top with a heart-shaped cutout in the middle, a light pink skirt, long fingerless black gloves on her arms (of which there were 4!), and a collar around her neck... But the most remarkable thing was her head and… hair? Beelzebub looked like a furry fox, but her hair and huge tail seemed to consist of liquid, flowing honey, which constantly changed shape, shimmered with gold, and dripped down, evaporating when it separated from the main "cascade" of hair. The sight was mesmerizing.

"Hey-hey, boy, you're new here, aren't you?" She came almost right up to me, her huge pink eyes with yellow sclerae studying me intently. She smelled of honey, cinnamon, and something else, elusively spicy and arousing. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Bee." She snapped her fingers, and a transparent bottle of that same golden mead materialized in her hand out of thin air. She took a large gulp straight from the neck, not taking her scrutinizing gaze off me.

"And why the fuck would I need to know you're 'bi'? Tell me your name, little fox, if you have one," I decided to tease her a bit, getting into the character of a brazen, self-confident young man... Oh, right, I never really got out of it, heh…

"Pfff!" Beelzebub choked on her mead and coughed, some of the drink spilling onto her chest, but she, apparently, didn't even notice. "Kha-kha… You, I see, are quite the joker! Sharp-tongued! I like guys like that!" She wiped her lips with the back of her hand and smiled slyly, revealing a row of sharp fangs. "So what's your name, brave boy?"

"You can call me Baal," I extended my hand for a handshake, simultaneously activating the "Eye of Adam." The artifact on my neck vibrated barely noticeably, but the crystal in the center remained blue. So, no direct contracts or Eve's influence on her. Interesting.

"Wow, what a sonorous and strong name, little Baal…" She shook my hand firmly; her grip was surprisingly strong. "And how do you like my party? Not too dull for such an… 'outstanding' guest?" she smirked, clearly alluding to my recent "bowling."

"Little?" I theatrically raised an eyebrow. "My 'little one' wouldn't even fit in your mouth, little fox! And the party… well, it's a party, nothing special," I spread my hands and shrugged, trying to look as bored as possible. "Seen better."

(Author's note: ¯_(ツ)_/¯ )

"Oh, how interesting!" Beelzebub tilted her head with interest, her honey hair swaying smoothly. "And where have you managed to visit already, my mysterious friend, if even Queen Bee's parties are 'nothing special' to you? Care to share your experience?"

"Where I've been, I'm no longer there," I smiled enigmatically. "So you can stop looking, here I am – great, inimitable, and incredibly modest! In the flesh!" I bowed playfully, nearly hitting her with my horn. "By the way, Queen, I heard you have the most delicious food in all of Hell, only… I'm not particularly impressed so far. It seems to me it's all just blatant PR."

The crowd around us, which had been watching our exchange with interest, began to buzz indignantly. It seemed I had struck a nerve; Beelzebub's food was renowned throughout Hell, and for that alone, she was genuinely respected.

"Ha-ha-ha! You're not only brave, but also insolent, boy!" Beelzebub laughed loudly, throwing her head back and placing her hands on her stomach. "I have the best food and the strongest booze in all seven Circles here! I bet you've never tasted anything more delicious in your life than what I cook?!"

She proudly tilted her nose up, and her eyes flashed defiantly. The crowd around roared approvingly, anticipating an interesting spectacle. It seemed that arguing with Beelzebub about food… well, no fools had been found for that until now.

"Aren't you a little too confident, eh, 'Queen Bee'?" I also got into the spirit, while the audience around us was literally seething with excitement; apparently, they had never seen such insolence towards her before. "What are we betting on?"

"M-m-m…" Beelzebub thoughtfully bit her finger, her eyes glinting slyly. "How about… a wish? If," she emphasized the last word, "after tasting, you don't admit that my food is the best in all of Hell, then I, so be it, will grant you any one wish. But when… that is, if you do admit my undeniable talent, then I'll make a wish from you. Well, deal?"

She extended her delicate paw with sharp black claws to me.

Does it seem strange that our bet has such odd conditions? It's simple; local inhabitants – angels, demons, and even humans on Earth, as I've noticed – possess one very strange peculiarity that people from my past life didn't have. They are incredibly expressive and practically unable to hide their true emotions. Especially strong ones. Joy, anger, surprise, disgust, delight – all this is instantly reflected on their faces, in their gestures, in their voices, and even the most cunning and seasoned creatures simply won't be able to keep a straight face if they try something truly incredibly delicious or, conversely, disgusting. So this bet was… almost fair. If her food really impresses me, I won't be able to hide it; that's what she's counting on. Well, here's another plus from being a transmigrator: I can keep myself in check.

"Deal!" I shook her hand firmly. "Only let's complicate the task a bit, Bee. To make everything fair, let's prepare two identical dishes and see whose is tastier. How about… scrambled eggs and bacon? How does that sound to you?" Heh, yes, I decided to take a risk; I have nothing to lose, even though Beelzebub's food was even better than some I'd tried in Heaven, but I have an ace up my sleeve! It wasn't for nothing that I learned to make breakfast from Lute, so let's see who's cooler!

Beelzebub's face momentarily froze. Then her lips twitched. And then she laughed again – loudly, infectiously, but already without her former confidence.

"What?! Scrambled eggs?! Are you serious?! Ahem… Alright. I admit, you surprised me. And impressed me with your audacity. But do you really think you can talk about cooking BETTER THAN ME?! And some fucking scrambled eggs at that?! Pfft! That's not even funny!"

"Shall we test it?" I smiled slyly. "Make the best scrambled eggs and bacon, or are you scared? Gonna cry-cry?"

Lute, by the way, really did make divine scrambled eggs and bacon. Over the thousands of years she had been an exorcist and lived in Heaven, she had perfected this seemingly simple recipe. And yes, that was one of the reasons why I was perfectly fine with having this very dish for breakfast every single day. And I, as I already said, during the time we lived together, managed not only to perfectly memorize her recipe but also to… improve it a bit.

"Confident!" Beelzebub narrowed her eyes slyly again. The excitement in her eyes was burning brighter. "Well then, Baal… I like your attitude! Then it's like this: if you really, by some miracle, manage to cook scrambled eggs tastier than mine – I'll owe you another wish. Deal?"

"Deal!" I nodded. "Who will decide whose came out tastier? We need an independent judge." I busily looked around the crowd of demons, who had already gathered in a tight circle around us, anticipating the show.

"Hmm…" Beelzebub also looked around, her gaze singling out someone in the crowd. "I just recently made a new… best friend here. Hopefully, with good taste." She waved to someone. "Oh, there you are, darling! Loona! Could you do us a small favor and act as a judge in our little culinary dispute?"

Loona emerged from the crowd, slightly embarrassed. She, by the way, looked sad again, and she was alone. It seemed that guy who was so actively hitting on her didn't suit her taste after all. Or she, his.

"Ahem… Um… Well… yes, let's… I don't mind…" she muttered nervously, trying not to look at either me or Beelzebub, and fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

"Excellent!" Queen Bee clapped her hands. "Then I'm first! Try this, darling!"

One moment – and a plate appeared before Loona on a small table that had materialized out of thin air. And on it – scrambled eggs and bacon. But what kind! It was a true masterpiece of culinary art! Two perfectly round, golden yolks, surrounded by delicate, airy egg white, and next to them – several slices of perfectly fried, crispy bacon, exuding such an aroma that my own mouth started watering. It didn't just look appetizing – it looked like a real work of art, worthy of the best restaurants!

Loona hesitantly took a fork, speared a small piece, and tried it... Her eyes widened. She quickly chewed, swallowed… and her face transformed! The sadness and irritation disappeared, replaced by an expression of pure, unadulterated delight! She blushed with pleasure and, forgetting everything, began to quickly and greedily devour everything on the plate, emitting quiet, satisfied moans.

"Ha!" Beelzebub looked at me with unconcealed superiority. "Well, Baal? Your turn now. Shall I provide you with ingredients and a kitchen?"

"No need to worry, little bee," I smirked, feeling the excitement fill me too. "I can handle it."

I snapped my fingers. A second – and an identical plate materialized in my hand. And on it – my scrambled eggs and bacon.

Its appearance was… ordinary. Absolutely nothing remarkable: two eggs, a few strips of bacon. No frills.

The crowd around first began to whisper in surprise, then buzzed with disappointment. Even Loona, tearing herself away from her already empty plate, looked at my creation with doubt. Why was everyone so surprised?

It's simple. To materialize objects from Light or Darkness, one needed not just a high level of understanding and knowledge about what exactly you are creating, but also a certain level of power, and not "in breadth," but "in depth." That is, your energy – Light or Darkness – had to have a very high concentration, density, "power." Not all representatives of Goetia were capable of this, let alone simple demons or sinners, and the very fact that I so easily, playfully, created food from nothing, already caused shock and awe in most of those present; they didn't know who I really was. To them, I was just Baal – an insolent and self-confident demon.

"Ahem… um… Alright…" Loona, still under the impression of Beelzebub's scrambled eggs, clearly wasn't expecting anything good from my cooking. She doubtfully took the plate, speared a small piece of my scrambled eggs with her fork, and carefully put it in her mouth.

And… froze. Her eyes widened, she slowly chewed, swallowed, cast a surprised glance at me, then looked at the plate again... And began to eat, but differently now – not greedily, but slowly, savoring every bite and closing her eyes. Her face expressed… bliss? Yes, it seemed so. A blush appeared on her cheeks again, but a different one – not from the satisfaction of gluttony, but… Well, different?

When the plate was empty, she stood silently for a few seconds, staring ahead. Then she took a deep breath and quietly, almost in a whisper, said:

"That… that was… tastier…"

The crowd gasped. Beelzebub herself dropped her bottle of mead.

"Ha! Suck it, little fox! I told you so!" I couldn't help but grin victoriously, giving her two middle fingers. Yes! I did it!

Yes, my little trick worked! The idea of adding not just Light to the dish, but a small particle of the "Cosmos" concept was a complete success! I wasn't sure exactly how it would work, what effect it would give. I just took a risk, hoping it could impress Loona, make her feel something… different. Something beyond the usual tastes and sensations. And it worked! Not only were the scrambled eggs themselves, prepared according to the "secret heavenly recipe" (thanks to Lute and her centuries of experience!), incredibly delicious. But that particle of "cosmos"… it, apparently, gave some completely unexpected, mind-blowing effect.

Why do demons and angels so rarely use concepts in everyday life, in cooking, for example? It's simple – they are, as I already said, unpredictable to the point of shitting oneself. Absolutely. For example: what exactly happened to Loona just now? What effect did my "cosmic scrambled eggs" have? I don't even know myself completely! I just took a risk, hoping for the best. And what if this concept, say, had sent her mind into outer space? Or completely ruined the taste of the dish, removing it and replacing it with the taste of vacuum or asteroid dust? That's what I'm talking about: too dangerous and unpredictable. But sometimes… sometimes the risk is justified. Especially when two wishes from one of the Deadly Sins are at stake.

"What?! No way! How?!" Beelzebub was in complete shock. She looked from me to Loona, then to the empty plate, clearly unable to believe what had happened.

"Yes way, little fox! You lost! Admit it! And get ready to grant wishes!" I grinned with all my thirty-two (or however many I have?) teeth.

By the way, I'll need to add a personality masking function to Lute's ring too. And add the ability to create such "conceptual" dishes. I doubt, of course, that she'll want to "party" in Hell, having culinary battles with the Deadly Sins. But the function itself is useful. And might come in handy someday. For special occasions. Or just to please her with something unusual.

"Fuck! Alright! To hell with you! You cooked better." She visibly struggled to force out these words, her honey hair streaming angrily. The crowd around exploded with enthusiastic shouts. "What are your wishes? Just don't be too greedy!"

"Nothing special for now, little fox," I winked at her and demonstratively turned away, heading for the exit from this improvised "culinary arena." "If I think of something interesting – I'll be sure to let you know. Bye-bye!" I waved to her and walked away, leaving her in complete bewilderment and surrounded by a clamoring crowd.

A few minutes later, when I was already calmly sitting at one of the tables in the company of some drunk-as-fuck cheerful imps, devouring local delicacies (and I was really enjoying their taste) and washing them down with juice, Vortex approached me. The same muscular guy who, as I remembered from the cartoon, was Beelzebub's boyfriend. He looked impressive – tall, muscular, with thick dark gray fur and piercing red-and-white eyes, like all hellhounds. Scars on his face and arms only added to the image.

"Hey, you," he approached my table and stood there, towering over me with his massive figure. His voice was low, rumbling. "Baal, I think? Let's go, step outside…"

He cast a heavy glance at me and, without waiting for an answer, turned and walked towards the exit from the main party area, towards some more secluded garden.

"You go step outside," I shrugged, continuing to lazily pick at a plate with some incomprehensible purple jelly (Frank said it was Beelzebub's slime; he was kidding, of course, but it kind of killed my appetite). He stopped abruptly and turned around, his eyes flashing angrily, a low growl escaping his maw. "Don't be so angry, doggy," I smirked. "I'm not going to fuck your Queen or claim her… uh… special attention. I'm into girls, generally, not old grannies trying to look younger. Well, you get it." I lightly patted him on the top of his head a couple of times, like a naughty dog, while he stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to react to such familiarity. "So tell that fool of yours that throwing around 'any wishes' left and right is very unwise. Especially in Hell. And especially with guys like me. Now be a good boy and stop busting my balls. I'm relaxing."

I turned away from him and went back to my jelly. Vortex stood there for a couple more seconds, breathing heavily and clenching his fists, then growled something under his breath and quickly left after his mistress. And I, after saying goodbye to the company of imps, went out into the street, catching out of the corner of my ear how Beelzebub, in the main hall, seemed to have come up with some new crap to entertain her guests – otherwise why would that crowd be roaring and shrieking so enthusiastically again?

"Hmm…" I sighed heavily, leaning against some honeycomb-decorated wall near the exit. "Why can't that goddamn Eve just sit still? If it weren't for her, I might have spent the rest of eternity just like this – at fun parties like these, culinary battles with the Deadly Sins, flirting with beautiful girls… And not busting my ass for Heaven's safety and racking my brains on how to save the world from another UFB…"

(Author's note: UFB – Unidentified Fucking Bullshit)

Yeah… They sure have fun here. In principle, I rested a bit, cleared my head, and checked out the local inhabitants with my "Eye of Adam." You don't think I was just hanging out here with everyone, drinking mead, and arguing about the taste of scrambled eggs without checking them for Eve's influence, do you? I checked, of course, everyone who caught my eye. And the result was… strange. Everyone was "clean." Absolutely. On none of the hundreds of demons present at this party – not on Beelzebub herself, not on Vortex, not on Loona, not on any of the guests – did my artifact show the slightest trace of that specific Darkness with which Asmodeus was pumped. Which, fuck, is very, very strange. Either Eve is acting much more subtly and cunningly than I thought. Or… or she hasn't reached the Gluttony Ring yet. Or is she only interested in certain individuals? Questions, questions…

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Loona stumbling out of another door of the mansion. She sighs sadly and presses her palm to her forehead. She still looks lost and sad. What's wrong with her? Did my "cosmic scrambled eggs" have some side effect? Or is she just sick of this party?