Harry Potter: The Beast Wizard

"Has anyone seen Inosuke?" Harry asked as he, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of Gryffindor hurried down the corridor toward their first Charms lesson.

"He was right behind us when we left Transfiguration class," Ron said, glancing over his shoulder. "Maybe he stopped to challenge a statue again."

"Or a staircase," Hermione muttered. "He nearly punched one earlier when it moved under him."

"I'm not going back for him," Seamus declared. "I value my face."

"Maybe he got bored and wandered off…" Neville offered hesitantly.

Hermione groaned. "This is going to be like Transfiguration all over again, isn't it?"

They arrived at the classroom—third door down from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Professor Flitwick, a tiny wizard who barely reached the top of his desk, stood atop a stack of books as the students filed in. He gave an excited wave of his wand and squeaked, "Come in, come in, my young charms scholars!"

The Gryffindors slipped into their seats, sharing benches with an equally apprehensive group of Slytherins. Draco Malfoy lounged in the front row with Crabbe and Goyle, all three smirking as Harry passed.

"Where's your wild pet, Potter?" Draco sneered. "Thought he'd be foaming at the mouth by now."

"He's not a pet," Harry snapped.

"Well, he certainly isn't civilized," Pansy Parkinson added from nearby, adjusting her green-trimmed robes primly.

Ron leaned over to Harry. "If Inosuke does show up, he's going to make this a disaster."

Harry didn't disagree.

Meanwhile… in a Stairwell That Shouldn't Exist

"Okay…" Inosuke muttered, boar mask tilted to one side as he stared down a spiraling staircase that had just risen from the floor like a summoned serpent. "Didn't come from there. Or maybe I did?"

He jabbed a finger accusingly at the wall. "WHY ARE YOU HIDING THE CLASSROOM, WALL?!"

The wall, stoic and unapologetic, said nothing.

Inosuke turned and sprinted down the corridor he thought led to Charms. It led to a tapestry of trolls dancing ballet. He kicked it in frustration—and found himself tumbling through a hidden passage.

"HAH! SECRET ROUTE!" he cheered, rolling out the other side into a corridor that absolutely reeked of dragon dung.

He took three steps before Peeves appeared, floating upside-down from a chandelier.

"Oh-ho! Shirtless boar boy's off the leash again!"

"Out of my way, sky gremlin!" Inosuke shouted, swinging a broom at him he'd grabbed from somewhere.

"Charms is on the third floor, you mountain goat!"

"THIRD FLOOR OF WHAT? THE SKY?!"

Peeves cackled and vanished into a suit of armor.

Inosuke stood in the middle of the corridor, breathing hard.

He turned left.

Then right.

Then down.

And soon… out.

Somehow Outside

The breeze slapped him in the face as he burst through a wooden arch and found himself in a courtyard.

He blinked at the sky.

"Huh."

He was outside.

Hogwarts Castle loomed before him—tall and smug-looking.

He scowled up at its windows, then pointed his wand dramatically.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP ME OUT, STONE BEAST?!"

The castle, for its part, remained impressively unmoved.

Inosuke scanned the upper windows. "Charms… that sounds like a spell class. Spells mean nerds. Nerds stay near books. Books are… high up!"

And then he ran at the wall.

With a feral scream, Inosuke began climbing the outer wall of Hogwarts Castle like a madman scaling a mountain. His hands found cracks in the stone, his bare feet gripped ledges, and birds scattered in alarm.

Somewhere above, a Ravenclaw fifth-year nearly dropped her book when she saw a half-naked boy in a boar mask scrambling past her window.

Inside the Charms Classroom

"Remember," Professor Flitwick said, standing atop a stack of tomes, "it's Wingardium Levi-o-sa, not Levio-sah."

He demonstrated by levitating a feather with a graceful flick of his wand.

Hermione, of course, was already mid-chant. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Her feather rose gently into the air.

Ron scowled at his. "Wingardium… Livioosa?"

Nothing.

"Stop waving it like you're swatting flies!" Hermione hissed.

Harry tried, his feather twitching slightly.

Then the window exploded.

CRASH!

Glass and wind burst inward as a boar-masked blur smashed through the upper window, tumbled into the room, and rolled across the stone floor before leaping to his feet with both arms raised.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! CHARMS CLASS! I HAVE FOUND YOU!"

"Merlin's socks!" Flitwick squeaked, nearly falling off his book stack.

The students screamed and scattered, some diving behind desks, others scrambling backward in alarm.

Inosuke stood upright, striking a triumphant pose as the wind tugged at his boar mask and wild hair.

"I CONQUERED YOUR WALLS, MAGIC ROOM! NONE SHALL HIDE FROM INOSUKE THE UNCHALLENGED!"

"You climbed the outside of the castle?!" Hermione shrieked, staring in horror.

Harry gaped. "Inosuke?!"

Ron dropped his wand. "You—how—what the—did you just break in from the window?!"

Draco Malfoy stared at Inosuke like he was witnessing the downfall of society itself. "What is wrong with you?!"

Inosuke strode forward proudly, glass glinting in his hair.

"The castle tried to mislead me. I OUTWITTED THE STONE BEAST BY ATTACKING IT FROM ABOVE!"

Flitwick coughed, floating slowly back to the ground. "Mr. Hashibira… I—how did—why did you come through the window?!"

"Because," Inosuke said, drawing both metal rods like swords, "no wall can block the path of my destiny!"

Flitwick blinked. "...You could have used the door."

"I DON'T TRUST DOORS! THEY HIDE TOO MUCH!"

Ron leaned toward Harry. "Do you think he's ever seen a map?"

"No," Hermione whispered. "No, he definitely hasn't."

Professor Flitwick repaired the window with a flick of his wand, muttering under his breath. "I taught problematic children before and none of them tried to enter by window."

"Mr. Hashibira, I understand you were… momentarily delayed," he said diplomatically. "But this is a classroom, not an obstacle course. Kindly take your seat—preferably one not created by shattering school property."

Inosuke sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of the first row of desks. "This stone floor will be my throne!"

Flitwick clapped his hands together. "Yes, well! Let's proceed, shall we? Wands at the ready! Today's lesson is the Levitation Charm: Wingardium Leviosa. Mr. Hashibira, seeing as you arrived… unconventionally, let me catch you up."

He gave a flick of his wand and summoned a feather from the demonstration pile.

"Now, the Levitation Charm is simple but precise," he began, holding the feather mid-air. "The proper incantation is: Wingardium Leviosa. Not Wingardium Levio-saah, as some students like to say with flair." His eyes flicked meaningfully toward Seamus Finnigan, who turned slightly red.

"You must flick and swish the wand gently, like this—" He demonstrated, his tiny hand making a precise motion. "And clearly enunciate the incantation. Focus your intent on lifting the object, not blasting it into another dimension."

Inosuke raised his wand—like a spear ready to skewer a charging beast.

"I shall lift this feather using the POWER OF RAW DOMINANCE!"

Hermione groaned into her palms. Ron leaned over to Harry. "This is gonna be good."

Inosuke narrowed his eyes at the feather and shouted: "WINGALDING LINGOSA!"

The feather launched upward like a fired arrow, shot past the rafters, and embedded itself firmly in the stone ceiling above.

Every student in the room stared up in disbelief.

The feather stuck there, quivering like a tiny white flag of surrender.

There was a long silence.

Flitwick blinked. "Well… technically levitated."

Neville slowly raised his hand. "Sir… can feathers do that?"

"No, Mr. Longbottom," Flitwick replied calmly. "No, they cannot."

Inosuke stood up and pointed his wand at the ceiling. "BEHOLD! Even the feather bend to my will!"

Flitwick walked over, smiling tightly. "Mr. Hashibira, while your… enthusiasm is undeniable, magic—especially charms—is about control, not brute force. You don't need to overpower the feather. It weighs less than a breath."

Inosuke looked confused behind the boar mask. "But why whisper at it when you can command it like a warlord?"

"Because," Flitwick said patiently, "if you whisper to the world, it whispers back. But if you shout at it too much… it might throw a feather at your eye."

A few students chuckled.

Flitwick raised his wand and gently lowered the ceiling-stuck feather back to Inosuke's desk with a casual flick.

"Let's try again. Swish and flick. Wingardium Leviosa. Say it with me."

Inosuke raised his wand again, this time not as a spear, but more like a stick he was trying to charm with friendship.

He squinted at the feather.

"Win... gar... dam... Livoosa?"

Hermione flinched.

"No," she said from across the aisle, "Wingardium Leviosa. You're saying it like you're trying to eat the word."

"I am trying to devour its power!" Inosuke snapped.

Flitwick stepped in. "All right, let's work together. On three. One… two… three—"

Together: "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The feather wobbled.

It shook.

It lifted three inches, hovered mid-air—and then shot directly into Ron's face.

"OW! That thing has a vendetta!" Ron yelped.

Inosuke roared. "IT MOVED! I HAVE BENT THE SOFT THING TO MY WILL!"

Flitwick sighed, though he couldn't help but smile. "A work in progress, I suppose. But well done, Mr. Hashibira. You did perform the correct charm."

Harry turned to Hermione. "Do you think he even knows what he's doing?"

"No," she said, still scribbling notes. "But I'm more concerned he's succeeding anyway."

Flitwick moved on to help other students, and Inosuke leaned close to Harry and whispered:

"If I learn to fly next, I'll scream so hard the sky splits open."

"That's… oddly motivating," Harry muttered.

The class resumed, with students practicing quietly—except Inosuke, whose every attempt involved battle cries and airborne feathers.

And Professor Flitwick, who had once thought he'd seen it all, now added "Boar boy enters by window, weaponizes feather" to his growing list of first-year anomalies.