Harry Potter: F*ck Off

Dumbledore's demanding of a meeting with him meant that Harry arrived in the corridor outside the History of Magic classroom just in time to see the last of his classmates entering the room. He hurried forwards and caught the door just before it snapped shut and slid inside.

It appeared that they were sharing this class with the Hufflepuffs. Susan and Hannah waved at him from their table to the right. Harry waved back and then scanned the room for a vacant seat. Professor Umbridge was sitting at her desk, sorting through a pile of parchment.

It quickly became apparent to Harry that there was only one vacant seat available. It was the seat that he had occupied for this class in every year previous, the one on Hermione's left. Ron was seated with Neville on the next table over.

Harry gave a weary sigh and made his way over. With Ron on his left and Hermione on his right, this may just prove to be a trying double period.

Hermione looked up in surprise when he dumped him book bag onto the table next to her and looked like she wanted to say something as he pulled out the chair, but she refrained from opening her mouth.

Ron, however, showed no such restraint. The moment Harry was seated, the red-haired boy said, with a wide grin on his face "That was awesome at breakfast Harry. First tell off Snape, then you got to punish Malfoy and humiliate him in front of everyone in the middle of the Great Hall!"

Without looking at him, Harry replied "I was just doing my job, Ron. Malfoy and his friends behaved in such a way that warranted their being punished, and I did so. At no point did I intend to humiliate them in front of the entire school, however Professor Snape forced the issue. He also acted out of line, and I merely called him on it."

"I still recon it was wicked," said Ron, who clearly still thought that he and Harry were friends. Apparently things like that took their time to sink in through the prat's thick skull.

Harry was pulling out his textbook for the class out of his bag when he became aware that Hermione was watching him. He turned to look at her and she turned away, her feeling of awkwardness clearly showing on her face.

Harry decided to just simply ignore the pair of them as he fished out some parchment from his bag.

"Hem, hem."

Silence filled the classroom as every student broke off their respective conversations in order to direct their full attention to the source of this strange noise.

Professor Umbridge was now standing up behind her desk, apparently ready to begin their class.

"Well, good morning class!" she said in that patronisingly girlish voice she had used the previous evening during her speech.

A few of the class mumbled "good morning" in reply, with Harry's response being the clearest.

"Oh, tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge "That won't do at all now, will it? I would like you, please, to reply "Good morning, Professor Umbridge". Now, one more time, please. Good morning class!"

"Good morning Professor Umbridge!" the parroted back in unison.

"There," she said in her most simpering voice "that wasn't too difficult now, was it?"

Harry winced. She was patronising them again.

"Now then," she continued "for our first lesson together, it has been decided that we shall start things off with a little pop quiz, so to speak."

An ominous feeling of dread spread through most of the students in the classroom as Professor Umbridge gave a flick of her wand at the parchment on her desk. The pile of parchment rose up into the air, divided out into groups of three in mid-air and then landed, three pieces of parchment in front of each student.

"Now this is nothing to worry about," insisted Professor Umbridge "This is just so that I, as your new teacher in this subject, can get a true feeling as to where each of you stand in your understanding of the subject matter at hand."

To Harry this made sense, but he, like so many others in this class, could only remember one other instance in which a new Professor had given them a quiz during their first lesson with them. Professor Lockhart's quiz questions had had nothing to do with the subject that he was teaching. Hopefully the case would be different here.

"Books away and quills out!" said Professor Umbridge "There is to be no talking during the test, and anyone seen copying will lose ten house points. Each of the three pages before you has ten questions, and you have forty five minutes in which to answer as many of the thirty questions as you can. The answers expected are short ones, so there will be no need to write out small essays. You may begin, now."

As one the class took up their quills and began reading the first question.

When did the war with the dark wizard known as You-Know-Who officially begin?

.....

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