Harry Potter: Don't touch

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Put the text together piece by piece. This is a flipper chapter with a non-chronological narrative, I don't like it any better. Look at the dates

No curse on the position of defence against the dark arts.

17 November.

- Hat, remember when you allocated me to Hufflepuff in first year? - Harry thought to himself. Sometimes he found it hard to know the difference between just a thought and a mental message.

The headdress covered his eyes and he couldn't see what was going on around him. Moody would have howled at such carelessness and nonchalance. Harry himself wasn't too comfortable with the fact that when he put on the Hat, he had to lose sight of his surroundings for a while. Who knows, maybe at this very moment the Death Eaters lurking in the school would decide to attack him? But alas, he would have to endure.

Of course I remember. Harry Potter. Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin. Your placement was tricky, and it was a bit later than it should have been.

- Great," Harry said happily. The possibility that the Hat might have forgotten about the events of three years ago seemed the most dangerous to him. Now that he knew he wouldn't have to remind the Distributing Hat of anything, Potter's spirits were high. - Now, I'm having some problems in the faculty at the moment....

Do you want to transfer out of Hufflepuff like Zachariah Smith did and Justin Finch-Fletchley is planning to do?

- 'Not really,' Potter said thoughtfully. - I'm just considering it. It's not up to me, I'd just like to know....

Did I put you in the right department?- The Hat finished Potter's thought for him. - It wasn't so obvious at the time. I couldn't have known what would happen to you. You were completely unsuited to Gryffindor and equally unsuited to the other faculties. I thought Hufflepuff was the preferred option then.

- Well, what about now? It's been a long time since then. I've changed. I don't intend to change any more. What's your verdict, Hat?

I see what you want. You're not asking a question to find out the answer, but to make sure you're perfect for Hufflepuff. You've made many friends at Hufflepuff, as I expected, but you're still struggling with teamwork to this day. Unexpectedly, you have shown a commendable desire for knowledge, though I stand by my opinion. You want to know as many useful things as possible, but you prefer not to learn boring and useless things. You've also started to act like a Gryffindor, the courage in your heart has grown over the years, sometimes you do incredibly brave things. But my final verdict is Slytherin.

- But why?! - Harry exclaimed, forgetting that all he had to do to talk to the Hat was think about what he wanted to say.

- You know it yourself, you just don't want to admit it. All your knowledge, all your courage, is centred on one thing: your own well-being. You're willing to cheat, to lie, to break....

Potter took off his Distributist hat.

- You're wrong and you'll soon realise it," he put the Hat back and walked on shaky legs to the room where Justin Finch-Fletchley was waiting for him.

- What's up? Shall we switch to Gryffindor?

- No, the hat said I'm only suited for Hufflepuff and she's not going to give me permission to transfer to Gryffindor," Potter lied.

It was only a second later that he realised he was confirming the Hat's opinion with his lie. He really was willing to lie to avoid unpleasant answers, just like Slytherins do. Riddle was probably a Slytherin too, but he's still right about a lot of things.

- Shit!" Finch-Fletchley spat on the floor and wiped it off with his shoe. - I'm not going anywhere without you. What do we do then?

- Make up, what else?

* * *

2-17 November

That's not to say there weren't signs. There definitely were, if you looked closely. Puffenduys very rarely broke the rules, they were mostly ranked last in the school championships due to their poor academic performance. However, after the introduction of Potter and Finch-Fletchley to Hufflepuff, the situation had changed. While it had been tolerated in the past, Harry and Justin had played on the national team and earned points for the faculty despite regular losses, the stick had been bent, then twisted and thrown to the bottom of the ocean where it could not be retrieved.

For the month of October, Potter and Finch-Fletchley lost five hundred points for the two of them. Hufflepuff had broken its past record for the fewest points, set just by Potter himself. It had started after breakfast when Hufflepuff students glanced at the faculty clock. And it continued for a fortnight.

Bickering had begun between the students, some in favour of expelling Potter and Finch-Fletchley from Hufflepuff, some against. At first Harry had been sceptical about the whole thing, where had it ever happened that some students could expel other students like them from the faculty. However, the rebels had a loophole on their side in the form of a school rule that had been adopted a few years ago - students were allowed to transfer to another faculty if the Hat agreed. And they also had Professor Steble, the Dean of Hufflepuff; it wasn't officially advertised, but Ginny Weasley had told Potter in confidence about her involvement. Harry had assumed before that she didn't like him much, but he hadn't expected such a betrayal, one might say. Thus, he and Justin could be removed from the faculty if they wanted to.

Recalled at the general meeting on the "Potter and Finch-Fletchley affair" everything. Ernie, as a neighbour of the two troublemakers, was interrogated, and he, wanting to get rid of his detractors, told them that Harry didn't always come to bed on time and regularly wandered around Hogwarts at night. To the Puffenduys, this was a serious offence. Justin, on the other hand, buried himself by simply deafening some of the ardent supporters of 'change', and afterwards declared that he would attack anyone who dared to insult him or Harry.

Then the Head Girl of Hufflepuff - Alberta Achyulsh - held a vote between all the members of the faculty as to whether or not they should expel the two misbehaving students. Upon learning of this, Harry, on Riddle's advice, cheated in the vote and voted on behalf of the non-existent students in favour of him staying. When the votes were counted, the deception was revealed and Potter was once again in a bad light.

Still, after a second vote, the majority was in favour of staying. This result was mainly due to the fact that Cedric Diggory, who was an authority amongst all the Puffenduys, defended Harry in every way possible, and the influence of Tonks, who was on good terms with many of the upperclassmen. But more about Tonks later....

Despite the vote, Harry and Justin were approached by a few Puffenduys and asked to voluntarily transfer to another faculty. After some thought and discussion with Riddle, Potter was ready to switch to Gryffindor, even though he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. The Weasley twins, who were beloved by everyone in that department, even though they had lost three hundred points, were calling them there. By the way, Harry had finally learnt to tell them apart. It wasn't hard, despite their almost one hundred per cent resemblance, they had slightly different facial shapes. George's face was slightly more elongated than Fred's, and if you memorised what face at least one of the twins should have, you could tell them apart. Harry refused to give away his secret for distinguishing one Weasley from the other: if he told, surely those could do something about it and they would be indistinguishable again.

On the seventeenth of November, a week before the first trial of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry had ventured to speak to the Hat in the hope that it would tell him that only Hufflepuff was suitable for him, but Finch-Fletchley was more serious. He'd been at odds with most of the faculty for a long time and would be glad to get out of the unfriendly atmosphere.

- Isn't there any way we can take anyone with us? Colin or Ginny? - Harry suggested.

- Alas, no. Although Fred and George would be only too happy to add to them.

- Why?

- No idea. Dumbledore said so, I guess he doesn't want the faculties to turn into warring gangs.

Finch-Fletchley was the first to put the Hat on. After talking to her for five minutes, he took it off and said that she would assign it to Gryffindor if he needed it. Harry, however, wasn't so sure of the Hat's decision, so he went into the vacant office next door, asking Finch-Fletchley not to come in, and only then decided to put it on and see what she thought of his identity.

* * *

4 November.

- It was not you who enchanted the cup.

The stunner that flew at Mad-Eye was blocked before Potter even had a chance to send it at him. Wow! Harry didn't even think that was possible.

- How long have you been sitting here? - Harry asked, taking a seat on the couch near the exit of the Hufflepuff living room.

- 'Long enough to note your lax attitude to safety,' Mad-Eye remarked.

- I'm not sure if it was an aversion spell, and you didn't have time to show me how to detect it over the summer. So I did the best I could.- Death Eaters aren't going to ask you what spells you can and can't bypass. But okay, next summer I'll teach you just about anything you can learn to use. Where were you so late?

- In a room, studying for my first test. Since you don't know what it's gonna be, you should prepare as best you can. And yes, I'm aware that ignorance is not exempt from responsibility. I'll do my best. All right, what about the Cup? We didn't conjure it? So we just got lucky?

- Exactly. Some adult came before you and used Confundus on the Cup of Fire with the same condition - he had to forget the number of schools in the Tournament. Then he dropped your name and left. And then you already came. So having three extra people participate wasn't part of his plans. The protective charms of Dumbledore's forbidden line remained intact, so the culprit for your name dropping out of the Cup a second time is an adult. And the defence itself is so good that no one could pass it, its peculiarity is that it simply blocks everything that doesn't fit the description of an adult wizard, even animagi and apparatus wouldn't help. I managed to get through it, but no one here is up to my level yet. I checked all the adults.

- All of them? - Potter was surprised. - In three days?

- Don't interrupt. It's easy enough when you know exactly how to check. Anyway, no one has had any connections to the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters in the last year.

- The Dark Lord? He's been missing for years, so it makes sense that no one's had any contact with him in the last year. What's he got to do with this?

- I told you not to interrupt. It's obvious Voldemort's involved, or do you think it's the Easter Bunny trying to test you? Dumbledore himself suspects everyone, including me. So be it, so don't tell him I suggested the Confundus idea to you yet. We don't need any unnecessary conflict, especially since I went a bit overboard with Karkaroff. The first trial is secret, even I don't know what will happen in the beginning, but the first trial is always the most difficult, the second is always the most extravagant and unusual, the third is the most global. Prepare as thoroughly as you can, you will almost certainly be assassinated on one of the trials. Tonks is coming tomorrow.

- Tonks? Why? Doesn't she have a job? - Potter couldn't resist asking. Not interrupting can be very difficult sometimes.

- You are her job. Unofficially, of course. Her powers not only allow her to change her appearance, but also to transform into an inanimate being. She'll be by your side during the trials. She will only intervene as a last resort. The official reason is she's here to track down the basilisk and cheer you on. And now for the most important part. Voldemort's plans can only be disrupted by finding his man at Hogwarts. And he's definitely there, since you've only dropped your name once. He could be under a Polyjuice potion, he could be an animagus, that would explain the fact that I couldn't find any contacts of people present at Hogwarts. The most obvious suspect to me is Snape. Only such a cunning and dodgy man could pull off such a scam and deceive Dumbledore as he had in the recent magical war. Snape was a Death Eaters and had recently been chatting with an old friend, Malfoy. I didn't learn the details of the conversation, however. Still, it's too obvious, it's rarely ever that simple, and there's no reason to suspect Snape other than because he's an arsehole. Then there's Karkaroff, also a prick and also a former Eater, but that one's not really relevant; Voldemort would rather have me as an Eater than that slippery thing. He wasn't on the ship that night, though, but that didn't matter.

- Everywhere I look, there are Voldemort supporters. Almost an entire school of Death Eaters," Potter smirked, not even hoping for a positive reaction from Moody. One thing Mad-Eye was definitely lacking was a sense of humour.

- That's what I'm telling you, you have to be vigilant. All the time. There's a lot of potential traitors out there, and that's just the ones I've found. Then there's Crouch, I got the impression he's under Imperius, and a crooked Imperius at that, but he hasn't been at school since the Goblet of Fire. He left and didn't return until just before the results were announced. Strange behaviour, not like Crouch, but it does take the suspicion off him. Bagman's a bit of a bird, too. During the last magical war, he passed information to Rookwood, who turned out to be a Death Eaters. He was ratted out by Karkaroff, so it all fits together. Bagman's suspicious, never left Hogwarts, no idea what he was doing. I looked him up, he owed large sums of money to a lot of people, so he could be back on the old track. The fact that no-one has seen him near the Cup means nothing, no-one has seen you, for example. The rest of you don't stand out. - Moody finished his speech. - Now you, tell me, have you seen anyone suspicious?

- Well, if you think about it... There is one oddity. If a Polyjuice potion is used, a Death Eater in the guise of another person can change their character slightly. And I've been thinking... McGonagall has always been less than fond of me, but this year she's been treating me rather well. I explained it to myself that I did well in my exams last year, but Polyjuice potion explained that too.

- I get it, I'll keep an eye on her. Anyone else?

- Not that I can see, the others are behaving normally. Professors are teaching the same, Sinistra's promised to finish physics and go straight to the stars, Lupin's going to show us non-verbal spells, Beans is on his third go round of the syllabus. But Polyjuice potion requires the hair of a living person, right? So whoever dropped my name could have quietly learnt about the habits and behaviour of the person he's impersonating, so it doesn't mean anything. Anyone can be a supporter of the Dark Lord.

- I see, then I'll keep an eye on everyone. And you too, avoid all adults if possible, not just teachers, but students, and Dumbledore too, even me!

 Comment on Chapter 60. How not to be banished from your faculty? GD Potter

 In this version of the GP universe, the curse placed on the position of DADA professor does not exist.