Harry Potter and the Cataclysm

Carnie mindlessly scrolled through websites, bored out of his mind. He was half-hoping something inappropriate for his age would pop up—at least that would make things interesting.

"No 4399, no 7k7k, what's even the point of going online?"

"Maybe there's an online marketplace…" He suddenly thought of online shopping. Did Britain have anything similar yet?

The websites he found were a mess—clunky layouts, terrible designs. After searching for a while, he finally stumbled across something that looked promising.

"eBay? This name feels oddly familiar…" Clicking in, he started browsing through the listings. To his surprise, there were all sorts of things up for sale, even foreign goods. Had international shipping already started? Carnie didn't know much about this stuff, but that didn't stop him from exploring.

Some of the usernames were hilariously dumb, like this one—Mr. Chick Magnet 217.

He needed an account to buy or sell anything, so he could only window-shop for now. Maybe he'd ask his parents to set one up later.

"The stuff people sell here is weird… A medieval sailor's knee brace? A hundred bucks? A navigation instrument for sea travel? A hundred and twenty? His great-grandfather's broken glasses? Fifty dollars?" Carnie clicked his tongue in amazement. Who the hell would buy this stuff?

"If someone actually buys this, I'll eat—" He paused mid-sentence, eyes widening at the picture of the glasses.

It was an old pair of round-lensed spectacles, both lenses cracked.

"This… this looks just like Sam's glasses!" He glanced at the location—America.

The photo wasn't very clear, but the shape was unmistakable. And the dumb username? Very on-brand.

Transformers! Autobots! Decepticons!

This was supposed to be a wizarding world! What the hell was this?!

Carnie stared at the listing, his thoughts racing. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe the seller was just some random guy named Sam, and his grandpa just happened to leave behind a pair of broken glasses. Maybe they were both captains—one of a ship, the other of bad luck.

Yeah. Just a coincidence.

Still, just to be safe, he decided to buy it. It was only fifty bucks, after all.

But if this was that Sam, then it meant the timeline hadn't reached the part where he gets a B- in his history paper and buys his first car. Which meant Bumblebee wasn't here yet.

Wait… wasn't that in the summer? Transformers didn't start with snow, right? And right now, it was almost Christmas.

Carnie frowned. Maybe it was best to buy the glasses now, just in case. But that would mean leaving his address and contact info, which was annoying.

Ah, screw it. He'd just ask online first.

He clicked into Mr. Chick Magnet 217's profile and sent a message.

Anonymous: "Hey, can I pay for these glasses with a gold coin? Urgent. Waiting online."

There. Now he just had to wait.

Lying back in his chair, he wondered if Galleons were worth more than their weight in gold. They were legit solid gold, so even if the guy melted them down, he'd still make a profit.

A notification popped up.

Sam was in the middle of preparing for Christmas, cradling his tiny, gremlin-looking Chihuahua, when his computer pinged.

He immediately checked it. Nothing he put up for sale had been bought yet, not even a single viewer. Was the price too high?

Anonymous: "Hey, can I pay for these glasses with a gold coin? Urgent. Waiting online."

Gold. Gold?! Sam's eyes lit up, and he quickly typed back.

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "A real gold coin?!"

Anonymous: "Yeah. Pure gold."

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "Hell yeah! Are we meeting in person?"

He had no idea how else to trade it. How the hell did you send gold through a computer? No way he was passing up a deal this good.

Anonymous: "Not exactly. Give me your address, and I'll send it via bird. Just put the glasses in a box and tie it up. When you get the coin, hand the package to the bird."

Carnie tried to keep it from sounding too weird, but, well… it was already weird.

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "A bird?! What if it drops the coin? Or the box?!"

Anonymous: "Relax, I have plenty of gold. You don't have to spend anything, just wait for my bird to show up. Once you get the gold, you give it the glasses. No gold? Keep the glasses. You'd get a free bird, too."

Sam thought about it. Yeah, that made sense. He wasn't losing anything. He just had to wait for the bird, take the gold, and send off the glasses. If the gold didn't arrive, oh well—not his problem.

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "What if the bird gets lost or something?"

Anonymous: "Shouldn't happen. But if it does, you don't owe me anything. Just keep the coin."

That settled it.

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "Okay, my address is XXXXXXX."

Anonymous: "Got it. Should arrive tonight."

Sam blinked. Tonight?! How far was this guy sending it from? Would the bird even make it?

Well, not his problem. He deleted the listing and sat back, waiting.

Carnie stretched and got up from his chair.

Flicking his wand, he summoned an owl from outside.

A gray one.

"Hm?" He frowned. "No, no, go back and send me the fastest, strongest, most reliable owl you've got. I'm shipping overseas." He tossed the owl a few Galleons.

The gray owl flapped its wings and flew off. A few minutes later, a black owl swooped in, noticeably larger and more imposing, with sharp eyes.

"Nice."

Carnie handed it the package. "Go to XXXXXXX and give this to Sam. He'll have a pair of glasses for you to bring back."

The black owl blinked once. "Got it." Then, with a powerful beat of its wings, it was gone.

"Expensive owls are so worth it," Carnie muttered, watching it disappear into the night. "Reliable, fast, and even understands speech. Should probably not get shot down on the way."

He returned to his computer and sent one last message.

Anonymous: "The bird is black, a little big, and well-trained. Very safe, easy to communicate with. When it arrives, show it the glasses, pack them up, and tie them to its leg."

Mr. Chick Magnet 217: "Got it, understood, no problem, looking forward to it!"

Carnie leaned back in satisfaction.

Autobots… transform! He chuckled to himself.

If this world had Autobots and Decepticons running around, he sure as hell wasn't going to sit back and do nothing.

The AllSpark?

That was his.

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