Harmonious Love

Where There Is Sunlight, There Are Shadows (3)

Stepping back was an unconscious action that surprised even Mo Yeon himself. It seemed that as he got closer to another person, a sudden feeling of rejection welled up.

Similarly startled, Kim Hyun-soo’s expression changed to one of concern when he saw Mo Yeon looking flustered.

“It really must be your first time…”

At the same time, Mo Yeon heard him mutter something.

“…What did you say?”

“Nothing. You don’t seem to be feeling well. Should I take you home?”

Mo Yeon shook his head.

“No… I’m fine. I’ll go first then.”

“Wait a moment, sunbae!”

“I’ll pay you back for the drinks later. Sorry!”

He turned around before even hearing the response. Ignoring even the words added to his back, probably because his expression wasn’t very good, he escaped as if fleeing.

Throughout the bus ride home, retracing the path he had come, Mo Yeon’s eyes were deeply lost in thought.

He had only thought there wouldn’t be someone like Tae Young-won, but he hadn’t considered this kind of difficulty. At this rate, he had barely set foot in and come out.

He didn’t know it would be this hard. It was truly a disaster.

‘This really won’t do.’

Because he had already promised.

He had been chewing his lips while watching the rapidly changing scenery outside the window. Without realizing it, he kept clenching his teeth. The moment he couldn’t avoid self-doubt, Tae Young-won’s words came to mind.

<…Can you promise?>

In the late night, almost midnight, he had asked Mo Yeon that.

It was the night Mo Yeon had secretly visited Tae Young-won’s house.

***

Honestly, even by his own assessment, Mo Yeon sometimes made unusual decisions in crisis situations. In other words, he would make quite bold moves that he wouldn’t normally do.

It was always the kind of thing where he would do something and later think there might have been a better way.

It was like that on the day he first kissed Tae Young-won who was picking a fight with him, mistaking him for gay. It was also like that when he decided to stalk rather than give up on yang energy. And come to think of it, it was also like that when he offered to show his private parts first when he became desperate for yang energy…

On the other hand, rejecting the sex partner proposal was a decision that Mo Yeon continuously judged to be rationally correct. He had never lived relying on others constantly, and even if it became Tae Young-won, well, the end probably wouldn’t be beautiful.

Wanting to see him as a close younger brother for a long time?

“That’s ridiculous.”

The Mo Yeon of the past would have accepted that proposal without thinking deeply. Because back then, in his eyes, Tae Young-won was always a person of hot energy surrounded by people.

Moreover, for a while, Mo Yeon felt that this was a different realm from Tae Young-won’s personality, so he thought for a very long time that his human relationships would be glamorous.

He was much ruder than when he was pretending to be modest, and despite acting disinterested in women to the point of being suspected of premarital chastity, he had been constantly meeting women. This felt separate from that fact.

However, the Tae Young-won that Mo Yeon experienced closely for quite a long time had a very different image from having many people around him.

After losing his cat, he said he “became extremely averse to having my things taken away by others, or suddenly losing my people.”

However, he also said that Han Chae-yeon, whom he had been closest to since freshman year, wasn’t that kind of existence.

Even when Mo Yeon asked out of the blue sometime later, the result was similar.

Honestly, he thought Tae Young-won would at least say he’d try to persuade them to reconsider.

Wow. That day, Mo Yeon was truly dumbfounded.

<…Did I answer wrong? What would you do if your older brother said that?>

Mo Yeon retorted sharply.

Then he ran straight to the bathroom to wash his face.

While he had no affectionate relationship with his family, Tae Young-won seemed to have such a good relationship and appeared to have grown up receiving plenty of love. How did a person end up like that?

‘If even his sibling is like that, I guess it’s just cats for him.’

To that extent, being “that kind of existence” to Tae Young-won seemed far-fetched to Mo Yeon.

But Tae Young-won compared him to a cat. It seemed like he was saying this knowing all of Mo Yeon’s doubts. How could he believe those words when he wasn’t a real cat?

So Tae Young-won’s words about becoming “his person” and staying together for a long time didn’t give Mo Yeon any sense of security.

It was just like repeating what had happened so far, merely extending the period for a while.

When addicted to something, surprisingly, the most effective method is to cut it off completely at once. Mo Yeon had learned this fact from a science book he had once read impressively.

He was currently addicted to the yang energy Tae Young-won provided. Rather than having it suddenly cut off one day against his will, it would be better to cut it off on this opportunity.

He had clearly thought so and was firmly turning away from the temptation of yang energy, but…

“Did this sunbae really move away…?”

When such a doubt suddenly arose, Mo Yeon was very flustered. Late in the evening, he paced the middle of the living room, biting his nails and turning his complicated thoughts.

He didn’t mean to distance himself this quickly. Could something have happened?

The officetel felt that much more filled with yin energy. Usually, ghosts rarely followed into the house, but occasionally one or two could be seen even in the corridor.

No matter how you looked at it, this meant that Tae Young-won’s traces were disappearing from the entire building.

From the moment he thought that Tae Young-won might have moved away, Mo Yeon believed that Tae Young-won had suddenly left.

Tap-.

Even though it was late at night, the faint sound of a car arriving and a car door closing could be heard from outside. However, Mo Yeon had no time to pay attention to that sound.

‘I’m not ready yet.’

No matter how he thought about it, he wasn’t ready yet.

It had been over a month since the vacation started.

During that time, he had repeatedly run away each time Tae Young-won approached. He had often hurt Tae Young-won’s feelings with sharp words.

But Mo Yeon didn’t mean to distance himself this much. He didn’t mean to cut ties completely like this.

But at the same time, he thought that Tae Young-won was also human. Mo Yeon had rejected Tae Young-won’s proposal for such a long time that it wouldn’t be strange if he left overnight due to hurt pride.

He would have nothing to say even if Tae Young-won said he never wanted to see Mo Yeon’s face again. If it were him, he would have surely done so.

If Tae Young-won were to tell him that he didn’t want to be sex partners or even close sunbae-hoobae with him anymore.

Then Mo Yeon would be so upset that he might… might hate him so much that he never wanted to see him again.

“…I need to make up.”

He wanted to make up. Because Tae Young-won had said to make up. If it was still okay now.

The windows of Mo Yeon’s house were still tightly closed every day, perfectly shut off from the outside to the point where not a single ray of light could leak out even during the day.

If he had really moved away, maybe he could at least check briefly, he thought. If he had moved away, it might mean their relationship had become irreparable to the point where reconciliation was absolutely impossible.

He couldn’t even think of waiting until tomorrow morning to ask the landlord.

Wearing his pajamas with the hood pulled over, Mo Yeon went straight outside.

These days, ghosts were wandering around inside the officetel, but Mo Yeon’s heart was urgent enough to go outside in the dead of night.

When the elevator arrived, he was already prepared to see at least one eerie ghost face. However, he didn’t see any ghosts in the corridors of the floors above and below, nor in the elevator.

What’s going on at this hour?

Without thinking deeply, Mo Yeon was in such a hurry that he had no choice but to enter the empty house by punching in the password.

The short four-digit number was something Tae Young-won had voluntarily told him.

He had told him, welcoming him to come in anytime and do perverted things at night, probably.

Because he had absolutely no intention of doing so, he had never barged in like this even once. But the anxiety that it might be completely empty rather made Mo Yeon’s actions bold.

As much as his heart was pounding, there was no hesitation in the gesture of entering the password and opening the door.

‘I’m already a stalker anyway.’

It wouldn’t be surprising.

Even as he pressed the password, Mo Yeon rather hoped to face Tae Young-won’s bewildered expression. That would be more reassuring.