Chapter 41: A Little Love Stricken Puppy
Aster tensed up despite his shudders. If having to borrow body heat from another wasn't pathetic enough, he'd also have to bear the shame of his exposed body in front of so many strange, gawking beasts? The young man only managed to shake his head stubbornly.
The she-wolf sighed audibly.
"I swear by the gods, Aster... You would swim across a river just to roll in pig shit! Remember that thing we talked about? Letting people help you? This is a prime example of when I want to help you, yet you won't let me..."
The she-wolf spoke softer then, as she pulled the reluctant young man tighter into her grip, embarrassingly confessing something to the human then.
"Aster... Your body is a true marvel to me... You don't need fur. You don't need to be ashamed of how you were born... You don't need to be ashamed for me to see you like that... Your body is beautiful. Please, will you trust me? Will you let me handle this? Will you let me take care of you? Aster... Please, I can't leave you like this."
Aster buried his face further into his own arms, wanting to scream from everything he was feeling. Here he was, still some pathetic, useless boy that had to let the she-wolf protect him from even the weather.
Stahl had said his body was beautiful... Aster wanted to believe that so badly, but that had to just be the pity talking. His body? A marvel? When he couldn't even keep the damned, furless thing warm without some help? It was laughable, and that bitterness and self-loathing combined with his lack of rest made him lash out.
"Worry about yourself. I don't need any more charity... I won't be helpless even here. I will adjust, in time... You don't need to save me again, Stahl... I've already made a habit of letting you do that enough. I don't need to borrow your warmth! I'll survive without it."
The human hadn't realized he had stopped shivering so badly in such a short time of being next to the beast, but when he jerked his shoulder forward, the cool air immediately reminded him as it stole away the heat Stahl had shared with him. The she-wolf was getting irritated, and her tone reflected that frustration.
"You may shoulder the cold without it... But struggling from sheer pride is still foolish! Bearing struggles you don't have to is foolish! Sorry, Aster, but I'm not letting you push me away this time... You haven't realized it yet, but I do have to save you... I will always try to save you, Aster, I will do anything to protect you, and maybe that scares me as much as it worries you, but it is not because you are helpless, but because you are worth protecting. If anyone has anything to say about that, they can come say it to me! And if any beast here has a problem with your body, then I will shut them up myself!"
Stahl grabbed the shocked young man again, pulling him back into her embrace even tighter this time, nuzzling into the human's exposed neck, speaking the last bit in a quiet, loving tone that truly exposed the powerful emotion behind her words.
"Aster... I... I want to protect you, always. I will be whatever you need me to be, even if that's only just a simple warm spot when you can't fight off the cold world around you... I will perform that duty gladly. I will wage war on the entire world if I have to, if that's what it takes to keep you safe... To keep you next to me. Aster... I care about you... More than I've ever cared about anything or anyone else. If my life has a purpose, it is to be a purpose dedicated to you."
The she-wolf thought carefully about her next words, knowing she risked revealing what she couldn't to Aster snugly held within her arms, but knowing it was true, she said it anyway.
"I see you as a king, one that I would unfailingly place my swords, my body, or my very life on the line if it meant keeping you safe and with me. You are something so much greater than you know... A kind of greatness that leaves me in awe of you daily... Aster... I feel like a little love stricken puppy when I am with you, and yet, it's the most amazing feeling I've ever craved... I can't just watch you suffer in the cold like this after bringing such warmth into my life... So please, I will beg you if I must. Let me be your warm spot in return, even if only for tonight... Lay with me, Aster."
The silence that built between the two made the she-wolf fear she had said too much. She second guessed her decision, afraid she had only driven the young man even further away... But then Aster leaned forward, pulling free from her grip once more.
Stahl just let her arms fall weakly to her sides in her defeat. The noble she-wolf felt so foolish, alone, and exposed. Feelings of rejection and vulnerability overcame her as her heart was laid bare. Perhaps that was how the human always felt...
And then Aster yielded, moving trembling hands down to the bottom of his shirt before finally lifting it up and away from his exposed torso beneath. His flesh was assaulted by fresh waves of the piercing cold when he removed the only thin barrier he had left to fend it off.
He was quickly met with something far more comforting, as he let himself lean back into the warming embrace of his 'knight'. Stahl pulled Aster close, resting his head back against her ample bosom and wrapping her legs around his own. She grabbed her cape and caringly draped it over his shivering, half-naked body.
Her strong yet slender arms tenderly embraced Aster once more, covering the bulk of his upper body with the same warmth. Stahl began nuzzling her snout into the young man's hair, breathing in both a heavy sigh of relief and filling her senses with the maddening scent of his infatuation as she leaned back against the stone behind her.
The she-wolf placed a gentle kiss on Aster's head as the human finally submitted to the warm spot he had so desperately longed to find, yet never expected to have. If Stahl truly wanted him... Then Aster would surrender both his heart and his body to the she-wolf in time...
That was about the only thing the human could think about as he silently cried tears of sweet relief that she had wanted him in the same way he had wanted her. The human spoke for the final time that night in barely a whisper, right before fading off from exhaustion to sleep in the comforting, warming embrace of his she-wolf. Of his knight.
"I love you too, Stahl Aschefell."
For the first night in many, Aster Venatus had no dark dreams.
***