Hard Luck Hermit

“Alright, just drop him down there where all the bloodstains already are,” Kamak said. Doprel dutifully dropped the corpse of Tooley’s would-be killer on the bloody portion of the ships common room. Now that they were done with their own forensic examination, it was time to bring in the police. Under false pretenses, of course.

“Now, I’m totally down to tamper with a crime scene-” Corey began.

“Good. Don’t need no fucking narcs on my crew,” Kamak said.

“-but doesn’t our corpse have some very obvious signs of tampering?” Corey concluded, gesturing to the multiple holes Theddis had carved to take tissue samples.

“Yes.”

“So how do you plan to explain those to the cops?”

“I’m not going to,” Kamak said. “As an expert bounty hunter, I have a special technique for situations just like this. Observe.”

Kamak then drew his pistol and fired seven shots into the corpse, obliterating the surgical holes -along with most of the upper body. Corey covered his eyes to shield them from the splatter as a new layer of blood and gore joined the long-dried blood already covering the common room.

“There we go,” Kamak said. “Somebody call the cops, I want to make them clean this up.”

Unfortunately for everyone involved, one of the beat cops on duty was Officer To Vo La Su, the very same pencil pushing policewoman who had once hounded Corey over his status as an Uncontacted. While her interest in that topic manifested solely as a very pointed stare in Corey’s direction, she did have a lot to say about the crime scene.

“You found this man in your ship and killed him, and that’s all you claim happened?”

“Yes.”

“After walking out of this very same ship with a bloody crate you refuse to identify the contents of, and your pilot suffering from a stab wound?”

To Vo turned her datapad around to display the hangar security footage. It clearly showed Farsus stopping long enough to wipe a little blood off the side of the crate they had transported the corpse in.

“I tripped and fell while trying to show off my knife tricks,” Tooley said. While she had no interest in covering Kamak’s ass, Tooley loved lying, and she especially loved lying to cops.

“And the crate?”

“Unrelated. Bounty hunter business,” Kamak said. “Confidential. According to...clause 315?”

“Clause 317-B,” To Vo La Su grumbled. The lack of proper bookkeeping annoyed her as much as the obvious cover up. “Do you really expect me to believe this story?”

“You can believe whatever you want, it’s the truth,” Kamak said.

To Vo La Su grunted in displeasure and turned back to her tablet.

“We’ll see what the District Manager has to say about that,” To Vo huffed under her breath.

“Please stop forwarding every minor dispute to me.”

To Vo La Su jumped to attention as a very tired looking old woman with grey skin shambled into the ship’s hold. She wore the same uniform as To Vo, though in much more haggard condition, and with a large badge sitting front and center on her chest.

“Ah, District Manager Mokai,” To Vo said, punctuating her greeting with an entirely unnecessary salute. “I’m glad you’re here. These bounty hunters have presented a version of events that I find highly suspect.”

“So I’ve heard,” Mokai mumbled. Not from To Vo La Su herself, of course. Mokai had gotten used to ignoring the junior officer’s overly detailed reports. Thankfully there were other officers on the scene who presented a much more abridged version of events. Mokai started ignoring To Vo even more than she already was and turned to face Kamak.

“You’re the captain of this vessel?”

“Yep.”

“And you stand by the version of events as you’ve stated?”

“Absolutely.”

Kamak stared at Mokai, and Mokai stared right back. They both knew Kamak was bullshitting. Neither blinked.

“Very well then, carry on,” Mokai said. “Officer To Vo La Su, finish up the crime scene photography and prepare the body for transport and processing.”

“Ma’am!”

“That was an order, officer,” Mokai droned.

After another huff of frustration, To Vo complied, and the body was moved out of the hold in short order. In spite of Kamak’s hopes, none of the cops mopped up all of the blood and viscera. He’d have to make Corey do that later.

“So, are we free to go?”

“The last thing I want is for you to take up more of my time and hangar space,” Mokai grunted.

“Alright, cool, we’ll be off in a bit,” Kamak said. “Have fun with the paper work while we do the real legwork of justice.”

Mokai did not respond to Kamak’s petty jab and strolled off the ship, with her subordinates in tow. She took one last look at the body and then watched the Hard Luck Hermit take off. The district manager snorted slightly as it escaped her hangar and then rushed out of sight.

“Ma’am, I know this isn’t the official channel for complaints,” To Vo La Su began. Mokai restrained a deep sigh.

“Speak freely, Officer.”

“Their story was full of holes, and entirely suspect,” To Vo continued. “Why would we let them go without questioning?”

“Because bounty hunters labor under the delusion that they have a feud with uniformed officers,” Mokai said. Many indulged in the petty rivalry, but Mokai did not. She had more important things to do with her time. Like literally anything else. “They would have obstructed us and obfuscated our investigation at every turn. A waste of our time and theirs.”

“Still.”

“They’ll live to regret it,” Mokai said. For the first time in the entire ordeal, she cracked a slight smile. “If they’d cooperated, I might have told them who that assassin worked for.”