Grim Business

As Grim and Tim stepped further into the underworld, the chaos of the office slowly faded, replaced by a heavy, oppressive silence. Tim couldn’t help but shiver as they entered a corridor lined with doors labeled with odd and somewhat alarming names: "Soul Overflow," "Temporal Distortion Management," and the particularly unsettling "Eternal Complaints Department."

“What kind of place is this?” Tim muttered, more to himself than to Grim.

Grim glanced at him as they walked. “You’re in the administrative center of the afterlife, Tim. Bureaucracy is the lifeblood—or, well, deathblood—of the system. Without all these departments and forms, souls would just wander around aimlessly. Chaos would reign.”

Tim frowned. “Doesn’t it already?”

“Touché,” Grim muttered, pulling his cloak tighter around himself. “It didn’t used to be this bad, you know. A few thousand years ago, things ran more smoothly. Collect a soul, process it, move on. But then someone upstairs got the bright idea to ‘modernize’ everything. They introduced new forms, soul-tracking systems, cross-dimensional filing protocols—complete nightmare.”

Tim stared at him, half-amused. “So you’re telling me that even in the afterlife, there’s red tape?”

Grim snorted. “Red tape? Try red chains. Ever since they restructured the department, it’s been one system crash after another. Nothing ever works like it’s supposed to anymore. You’re lucky you didn’t end up in the Soul Recycling Department. That’s a paperwork nightmare you don’t come back from.”

Tim swallowed nervously. “Recycling... like reincarnation?”

Grim shrugged. “Kind of. But more... corporate. They recycle souls that didn’t meet their original life purpose or were lost in the system. It’s supposed to give them a second chance, but really it’s just an excuse to avoid dealing with the backlog. Recycled souls tend to come out... weird.”

Tim’s eyes widened. “Weird how?”

“Let’s just say some souls don’t fit properly back into human bodies after they’ve been recycled a few times. You ever wonder why some people seem so... off?”

Tim shuddered. “That’s horrifying.”

Grim nodded. “Yup. So let’s hope we find your soul before anyone decides to recycle it.”

They continued down the dark corridor, passing more odd departments—"Astral Misdirection", "Lost Wishes," and one that made Tim pause for a moment: "Pets Division."

“Wait,” Tim said, pointing to the door. “Pets?”

Grim glanced at it and shrugged. “Oh yeah, the Pets Division. It’s where all the souls of pets go. Mostly cats and dogs, but there’s a whole subsection for exotic animals. Reaping them is an entirely different department. You don’t want to mess with that.”

Tim stared at the door, a sense of morbid curiosity taking over. “Are you telling me there’s a whole afterlife just for pets?”

“Of course,” Grim said, matter-of-factly. “You think they just disappear? Pets are one of the most organized departments in the underworld. Way more efficient than the human divisions, I can tell you that. No complaints, no missing souls, just wagging tails and belly rubs.”

Tim blinked. “And you guys still can’t get the human souls sorted?”

Grim sighed. “Nope. It’s embarrassing, really.”

Before Tim could ask more questions, there was another loud crash in the distance, followed by the unmistakable sound of Morty’s high-pitched wail echoing through the corridors again.

Grim groaned. “What now?”

They hurried around the corner and found themselves at the entrance to what appeared to be a holding area for newly reaped souls. The place was in complete disarray. Souls of all shapes and sizes—ethereal, translucent forms drifting around in confusion—were scattered everywhere, their voices overlapping in a cacophony of complaints. Some were arguing, others were crying, and a few were just floating aimlessly.

Morty was in the middle of it all, standing on top of a desk, his cloak askew, trying to calm everyone down by waving his scythe around like a demented traffic cop.

“Please, everyone!” Morty was shouting, his voice cracking. “Just form an orderly line, and I promise we’ll get you all sorted!”

One of the souls, an elderly woman with a very sharp tongue, shook her fist at Morty. “You said that an hour ago, you incompetent little skeleton! I’ve been dead for three days, and I still don’t know where I’m supposed to go!”

Another soul, this one a middle-aged man with a bad comb-over, chimed in. “Yeah! I was promised eternal peace, and all I’ve gotten is this headache!”

Morty was visibly sweating—or at least, he would have been if he had any flesh. “I—I’m sorry! I’m new at this! Just give me a minute!”

Grim groaned, stepping forward. “Morty!”

Morty’s head snapped around, his face lighting up with relief. “Grim! Thank Death, you’re here!”

The elderly woman turned her sharp gaze on Grim. “Are you in charge? Because if you are, I have some serious complaints!”

Grim waved a hand, and the woman’s mouth snapped shut—temporarily, at least. He wasn’t in the mood for a full-blown revolt. “Morty, what did I tell you about reaping souls you weren’t supposed to reap?”

Morty’s shoulders slumped. “I—I know, but I couldn’t help it! They were just... there, and then the system glitched, and now everything’s a mess!”

Grim rubbed his bony temples. “All right, everyone, listen up!” His voice boomed through the holding area, and the souls quieted, their attention drawn to the imposing figure of the Grim Reaper. “There’s been a... temporary disruption in the system. But rest assured, we will get you all where you’re supposed to be.”

The elderly woman crossed her arms, glaring at him suspiciously. “And how long is that going to take, exactly?”

Grim glanced at her, his eyes—or rather, the empty voids where his eyes should be—gleaming ominously. “How about we skip the part where you complain, and I skip the part where I assign you to the Waiting Room of Eternal Bureaucracy?”

The woman paled, her spectral form flickering slightly. “I... I’ll wait quietly.”

Grim nodded in satisfaction, then turned back to Morty. “You’re coming with us. We need to go to the Archives to find Tim’s soul, and I can’t risk you screwing up anything else while we’re gone.”

Morty nodded eagerly. “Yes, sir! I’ll follow you!”