Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut!

Chapter 276. A Method to Solve the Headache

Lee Doha remained calm.

“Not singing that song doesn’t mean we’re no longer seniors or juniors.”

Does that even count as affection?

If it does, then Lee Doha was the undisputed champion of the ‘World’s Purest Lover (Otaku Division).’ I couldn’t even begin to guess what the prize might be.

“Oh, whatever. What do we do now? What do we do? What should we do?”

Once again, I lay sprawled out on the giant bear stuffed animal that took up a significant portion of Lee Doha’s studio, swinging my legs back and forth. For once, Lee Doha, who rarely showed emotion, frowned as if to say my actions were kicking up dust (this jerk?), and after fanning himself a few times, he leaned his chin on his hand and replied indifferently.

“Can’t we just do what we did before? We’ve done a lot of cover stages since the ‘Miro Maze’ days.”

“Well… that’s true.”

But if I said that I felt pissed off because it seemed like we were losing, it would really feel like I lost, so I just kept my mouth shut.

Lee Doha didn’t push me for an answer. Instead, he picked up the birthday promotion materials I had left on the table.

“What’s this?”

“Oh, promotional marketing ideas for my birthday. …Wow, what are we doing? All the good songs for end-of-year arrangements are already taken by other groups. I didn’t even think of a Plan B or C because I was so sure we’d do something from the Utopia hyungs….”

While I grumbled, scrolling through the list of candidate songs Junghyuk had sent me on my phone, my mind was still a blank slate.

With no appealing options, I had no ideas, and with no ideas, I had no interest, and with no interest, I didn’t want to think. Eventually, I haphazardly tossed my phone to the end of the sofa. Lee Doha, who had been diligently reading through the birthday promotion materials, looked up at me with genuine curiosity.

“Hajin.”

“What.”

“You’re not seriously worried about this, are you?”

“…What kind of odd reaction is that?”

I’m so stressed that I can’t even look at my phone. Can’t you see that?

Just thinking about the inevitable posts on the community comparing idol groups’ cover stages was already giving me a headache….

However, Lee Doha, with his typically expressionless face, merely nodded slightly.

“I don’t really get it.”

“What don’t you get?”

“We’re the ones performing on stage, right? Not the original artists.”

“…….”

“So does it really matter what song we perform?”

Ha. Seriously, this guy is something else.

Where does that unshakable confidence come from? Maybe it’s because he’s an athlete.

‘He wouldn’t even mind performing trot music from a highway rest stop….’

Feeling both envious and oddly comforted by his attitude today, I quickly shook off my gloomy thoughts and sat up.

“Yeah. Whatever we pick, it’s better than rest stop trot.”

“Rest stop… what?”

“I need to clear my head, so I’m going to do something else for a bit.”

“That’s a pretty sudden change of topic….”

Ignoring Lee Doha’s puzzled tone, I grabbed the phone I had tossed aside earlier. Although he seemed a bit uneasy about my sudden recovery, he watched curiously while munching on a biscuit from the snack box I had brought over, wondering what I was up to.

“You know that saying, right? When you feel like your head’s about to explode, just whack your shin, or something like that.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Well, there’s something like that. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because when your shin hurts, you forget about the headache.”

“…So both your head and shin hurt twice as much?”

“Is that what’s important right now?”

I lightly brushed off Lee Doha’s minor rebuttal and dialed a number, looking for someone to kick my shin for me. After a few rings, my designated shin-kicker answered the call.

– Yeah. What’s up?

“Director.”

– Yeah.

“I’ve decided on my birthday present.”

-…All of a sudden? What is it?

Munching on his biscuit like it was popcorn, Lee Doha eagerly watched the situation unfold. Raising an eyebrow at him as if offering a fan service, I confidently made my birthday wish to Junghyuk.

“Please set me up a café, hyung.”

“…….”

The biscuit in Lee Doha’s hand dropped to the floor of the studio with a hollow thud.

Hmm, good. Judging by his reaction, it seems like I hit the mark.

After a brief silence, Junghyuk seemed to finally process my words after about three seconds, and then he screamed.

– What the hell, you punk!?

…Ah, did I hit Junghyuk’s shin instead of mine by mistake?

Either way, I was satisfied, as I had managed to pull off a bold distraction that temporarily made me forget about my headache.

* * *

Hajin’s first birthday since his debut was a significant day for the Destis as well.

For several weeks, ads, cafés, and events celebrating Hajin’s birthday had started to appear one by one on SNS.

**靑春不敗** @chungchun_1130
｡･:*:･ﾟ★ HAPPY B-DAY HAJIN ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
**靑 春 不 敗**
“May your youth never fade.”
Kang Hajin Birthday Café EVENT
~coming soon!~

**WingsOut** @wingsout
2X1130 Kang Hajin Birthday Escape Café
Wings Out ; Escape Cafe
*Reservation Open Notice*
[htttps://buray.kr/…](htttps://buray.kr/…)

**강하디** @kang_HD
20XX Kang Hajin Birthday Café Information Thread
Continuously updating!

“Wow, there’s quite a few. He hasn’t even been debuted that long….”

Gwam-jam, Hajin’s fansite master, who was collecting information on newly opened birthday cafés, murmured in admiration.

She had considered running a birthday café herself using her photo data, but as a college student, the expected costs were overwhelming, so she had given up early on.

‘It’s not like it’s just a few tens of thousands of won. With renting a café, decorations, and other expenses, it easily jumps to a few hundred….’

Instead, Gwam-jam gave her photos for free to any cafés that requested to use them. Additionally, she planned to release some previously unpublished, high-resolution photos of Hajin on his birthday.

As Gwam-jam moved her mouse cursor over the photos of Hajin on his way to a radio show that she had been editing, she cleared her throat with satisfaction.

Honestly, if she had put this much effort and dedication into her school assignments, she would have not only received an A+ but also love calls from professors urging her to go to graduate school. Good thing she was taking a break….

– Will that beloved idol of yours feed you, buy you a cup of coffee? I’m not saying don’t do it at all. It’s just frustrating to see you waste your precious time and energy on something so pointless, especially at such an important time in your life, sweetie.

Her mother’s voice, who disapproved of the time and money she spent on her fansite activities, automatically played in her head.

‘But Mom. Our professor isn’t Kang Hajin….’

If only her professor were Kang Hajin, she would’ve attended every class and even entered the graduate research lab.

It was the problem with being a science student. They should’ve advanced human cloning technology quickly to the point where every household could have its own Hajin…. That would’ve brought peace to homes, stability to the nation, and development to the world or something….

Mumbling nonsense while scrolling through her timeline, a new birthday café promotion post popped up on Gwam-jam’s screen.

**Pride Of You** @itsonlyforyouD
In celebration of Kairos Kang Hajin’s 20th birthday,
we invite Destis to the birthday café ‘Pride Of You’.
Reservation link▼
[htttps://carry.kr…](htttps://carry.kr/)

“Why is this one so simple…?”

Followers: 0. Following: 0. Even the number of shares and hearts was still 0.

There was no separate account promotion, no hashtags, not even an explanation of what kind of café it was or how it would be organized.

“Is this a scam?”

While some cafés operated on a reservation basis to secure costs, this was too much. It felt like they were saying, “We’ve got the product wrapped in cloth, just order it now,” without even showing it.

Despite that, Gwam-jam’s mouse hovered around the reservation link, intrigued by the poster attached to the post.

“Where was this photo released?”

The poster featured several photos of Hajin smiling comfortably, carefully arranged with natural lighting edits. Judging by the outfits he wore, Gwam-jam guessed that the designer might be another fansite master like herself, using some unpublished photos.

Just the fact that she hadn’t seen these high-quality photos before and that the poster was tastefully designed was enough to raise her trust in it.

Plus, the café name, ‘Pride Of You’….

It was far too detailed and sincere to be something a non-fan would make just to scam people.

“Well, might as well reserve a spot.”

Keeping in mind the possibility that it could be a scam, Gwam-jam decided not to share it. After a brief

hesitation, she clicked the link. To her relief, the screen redirected to a typical reservation site.

At the very top of the page was a detailed explanation of this secretive birthday café.

~* INVITATION *~
You are invited to a secret party celebrating Kairos Kang Hajin’s birthday.
All contents of this café are confidential.
The exact location and participation details will be provided individually upon reservation confirmation.
(This is not a scamX not some weird pyramid schemeX trust us, this is a legitimate birthday caféO)

….

With escape rooms, flower shops, and mystery games popping up everywhere, a secret party wasn’t exactly a groundbreaking concept. Below the explanation was a brief location overview near Hongdae Entrance in Seoul, along with time slots and checkboxes for making reservations.

‘It’s reservation-based, but there’s no deposit required… It doesn’t seem suspicious….’

While Gwam-jam was hesitating, one of the morning slots turned gray, indicating that it was fully booked. Just moments ago, it seemed like only she had seen it, but in just a few minutes, the news had spread.

It’s funny how human nature works. When she thought she was the only one who knew about it, she wasn’t that interested. But now that others were eyeing it, she felt antsy.

In the end, Gwam-jam quickly picked one of the remaining morning slots and filled in the necessary information. After entering her email address and clicking the confirmation button, a waiting screen for reservation confirmation appeared.

“That’s done… Now I need to plan out my route for that day. Oh, I also need to place an order for the giveaway design….”

Determined to fill every remaining day of her break with Kairos, Gwam-jam opened her planner and began writing down her plans and preparations for the ‘Kang Hajin Birthday Café Tour.’

Even if her current happiness was just an escape from a frustrating reality, as her mother said, Gwam-jam couldn’t deny that these moments were the most joyful and exciting of her life.

‘If I’m going to run away, I might as well take a world tour.’

They say you start resembling those you love.

When it came to extreme determination, the fan was just like the idol.

* * *

Meanwhile.

After tearing down the barn to fix it, calling in the CEO because of a staff shortage, kicking his shin to forget about his headache, and now asking for a café as a birthday present, here’s Kang Hajin, the best at pulling off stunts, age 20, (soon-to-be) birthday boy idol.

“Hyung, do you think recipes are easy? Is measuring a joke? Do you think baking is just a game?”

“Seriously, what kind of barista work can you do when you can’t even drink coffee….”

“Hyung! Hyung! The brownies! The brownies are burning! Ahhh!”

“…You’re not planning to burn down the dorm as a birthday wish, are you, Hajin?”

“Wouldn’t it be better to call someone now? There’s a reason people pay professionals, hyung.”

“I warned you.”

He was currently being bombarded with nagging from his members, making his ears bleed.

“Ah, I said I’ll handle it all! If you’re not going to help, then leave me alone! It’s my birthday café, so why do you guys care?”

He was currently…

Feeling the full weight of the difficulties of opening a café.

Damn it. I didn’t know being an idol was the easiest job….