Chapter 7
Thesi was completely still, he didn’t move a muscle, quite frankly, he couldn’t. A cool breeze was caressing his skin. The trees were tall, their branches dancing softly with the air. The smell, the view, the sounds, all were releasing a tide of memories he had long since buried.
It was a forest, the forest in which, five years ago, he had completed his final test for the terrorist group led by the man now known as the Dagda, to him, still known as the Tamer. Here, he had fought and killed his peers. They were brought up together, raised as machines in the same brutal program, but in the end, only one was meant to survive. Thesi had been that one.
Before him, there was silence in the forest. To Thesi, however, it was deafening. His heart started racing, through the mask of calmness he exposed, cracks started to shape. This isn't real, he told himself, trying to steady his breathing. It's just the Cube, but the treetops pressing in around him felt all too real, and the memories as well. He took a step forward, his movements consciously deliberate and controlled. The dirt was soft, the leaves crunching lightly as he moved. Thesi looked around, his gaze narrowing to try and deduce what exactly the Cube wanted of him. Was there something he was supposed to find? Or someone?
The Cube had to be pushing him toward something, but what? Thus far, the trial had tested his intellect, his capacity to solve complex problems. Now what? What did the Cube want from him.
The memories came back, like relentless waves, the screams, the smells, the sounds. He could see the faces of the children he had grown up with, trained with, those he killed. They were just as real now as they had been then, their bodies broken, not a hint of fear or disgust. They looked at him, not one emotion, still as they had been brought up to be since birth.
His breath wavered, he felt like he was suffocating. He had changed, these last five years had changed him, but the realization of where he was stirred up something deeper than anything awakened since. An emotion he had long forgotten came back screaming. It was fear.
He tried to bury it, as he had always done. But the Cube was relentless, the forest around him pulsating with the weight of those buried emotions. It was as if the Cube was trying to draw them out, to make him face what he had spent years trying to forget. The air grew colder, the shadows between the trees lengthening as if the forest itself was closing in on him.
Yet, the forest hadn’t moved, it didn’t attack him. It stayed quiet as it had been the moment it was brought into creation. This fear was a simple product of a memory, that was all it was, to Thesi though that was not a thought that crossed him, for him the forest was preparing an attack.
His eyes scanned the surroundings, looking for any sign of movement. The forest was quiet, much too quiet. His instincts yelled at him to be prepared for something. However silence persisted.
He finally regained his breath, but it was shallow and irregular, with each attempt to calm down his breath quickened. Thesi closed his fists, pressing his nails against his hand. They weren’t cut completely short, possessing an edge that dug into the flesh, blood started to flow. Focus, he told himself, but the forest didn’t waver, it’s liveliness coming more and more marked. To Thesi, the forest was alive.
A shadow shifted, it was a small movement, but his trained eye almost certainly caught it. He turned in that direction, wasted no time, the movement didn’t stop. A silhouette moved between the trees, just beyond the edge of his vision. He snapped at it again, missing it by what felt like a split second. Thesi's heart was beating ever so faster, the pulse a drum resounding in his ears.
A new figure crossed his line of sight. The figure was smaller this time, its movements more messy, more immature. It seemed like a child. He was not prepared for this. His breathing quickened once more, the images from that day rushed once more, replaying like an endless movie. A slight tremble, and a crack. His mask was starting to truly crumble.
The figure felt closer now, it’s shadow taking steps towards him. Thesi stepped backwards, instinctively, he lowered his stance, readied himself for battle, but none ever started. Kill, kill, kill, his mind screamed what it must of screaming at him here 5 years ago, the simple command he was given.
‘Kill them all’
A loud scream was heard, high pitched and broken, piercing his eardrums. Just for one second Thesi couldn’t distinguish if it came from his mind or not, was it from the past or the present? His eyes unfocused. The line between his memories and reality had vanished, it was all into view now.
He stumbled, managing to hold onto a tree next to him to keep his balance. His sanity slowly faded. He clenched his fists harder, the smell of blood thickened.
“I had no choice, I had to survive."
he whispered these words, he didn’t know if to himself or the forest. His actions were justified, they had to be, else, why would he have done them? The forest didn't respond. It only continued to close in, the space around him restricting, suffocating him, like a noose around his neck was getting tightened.
He was, for the first time since stepping foot on earth, completely vulnerable. The mask collapsed. He tried to clench his face, as if trying to keep the pieces of his metaphorical mask together, but it changed nothing. Today, he was as readable as words drenched in ink and pressed on a piece of paper.
‘No. Not like this.’
He thought, this time reserving these words only for himself. Thesi closed his eyes, trying to forget the forest and the memories that came with it, he tried to collapse the image that was created around him. He couldn't break. Not here. Not now. He had a goal, he couldn’t fall at the starting blocks. He breathed, focused, fought the fear, and buried deer, so much deeper, there, somewhere it couldn’t crawl back to him. He had been trained for this. He needed to regain control.
It was slow, it was agonizing, yet, he dragged himself back from the darkness. His breathing was stable now, his vision regained its sharp edge, his hands, clasped until now slowly loosened. He stared at the, the cut felt deep, but it really wasn’t, it just allowed blood to flow without gushing it out. His eyes looked up, and he breathed out a sigh.
He was in control again.
But just as his muscles relaxed, the shadows turned into flesh, and from behind a tree something, no, someone emerged. His height barely passed his hips. It was a child, no older than 13, the small figure slowly picking up the pace, it was heading towards him, a child, one he knew the face of, one he had killed.