God Gave Me Trash System Because I Annoyed Her

After being chased by a spirit chicken, half-healed with a moldy pill, and insulted by a glowing window in my head...

I made a decision.

It was time to cheat the cheater.

---

I sat cross-legged in the courtyard like a real cultivator, trying to look mysterious and wise. In reality, I was whispering to myself:

"Okay, System. I know you're corrupt. I know you're selling my quest rewards. So I'm gonna break you before you break me."

> [System Notification:]

Attempting to access hidden features…

[Error: You are not authorized to open Advanced Menus.]

[Fun Fact: You are classified as "Low Priority Meatbag."]

"Yeah? Well this low-priority meatbag is going full hacker mode."

> [Voice Command not recognized.]

[System recommends you go touch grass.]

---

So I tried a different tactic: Bribery.

"I'll feed you spiritual energy if you stop being garbage," I said.

> [System is uninterested.]

[But would accept memes, drama, or the blood of your enemies.]

…Was my system a bored teenager?

---

Then I got an idea.

I gathered all the expired pills, cracked spirit pebbles, and cursed socks the system had given me over the last week and built a fake "rare treasure altar" in the forest.

It looked ridiculous.

I lit incense. I sang off-key cultivation mantras. I called the system "Great Divine Mechanism of Existence."

And I left a note:

"Please glitch. I beg you."

> [System Glitch Chance: 1%]

[Rolling…]

[System has decided to mock you instead.]

> "You look like a cult leader with discount garbage."

> [Bonus Stat Unlocked: Spiritual Shame +2]

---

As I dragged my disappointment back to the sect, I ran into Yue Lan again.

She was training alone, her sword carving glowing symbols into the air.

"Still pretending to be enlightened?" she asked without looking.

"I'm not pretending. I'm innovating. Enlightenment through system abuse."

She paused, lowered her sword, and gave me a look.

"…You're insane."

"I prefer the term 'creative survivor.'"

---

Meanwhile, Jun Bai stood nearby, arms folded, looking like someone who had been professionally handsome since birth.

"You're not a cultivator," he muttered. "You're a walking circus."

"Thanks," I said. "Circuses get crowds. You get ignored unless you're standing next to Yue Lan."

His sword twitched.

Yue Lan blinked.

I smiled.

> [System Alert:]

Jun Bai's Rivalry Level: 10/10

New Title Unlocked: "Unwanted Nemesis"

[Yue Lan Impression: 3/10 — "Still confused, but slightly amused"]

---

That night, I checked the system one more time.

> [New Hidden Quest Discovered!]

Title: "Outsmart the Trash"

Goal: Discover one backdoor into system menu

Reward: Unlocked command string access (1 time only)

Warning: May result in system retaliation

And beneath that… a red blinking message:

> [Corruption Log – Entry #17:]

Gift rerouted. Purchased by 'Martial Beauty System.'

Value: 3,000 Credits. Host given: "Cracked Toothbrush (Fang of the Fallen)."

My eye twitched.

"That's it. That's the last toothbrush."

It was war now.

Me vs. The System.

And I don't fight fair.