GOD GAMES

FREEDOM, has never smelled so musky. Very, very musky. Like an old wet shoe… or more appropriately, a damp cave filled with shit. I take another whiff and then suppress a gag as an especially damp breeze enters my nostrils. I glance at my companions, and find them completely unfazed by the smell. Instead, they are more concerned with the lack of light. We are deep enough in a cave somewhere that the only light provided is from the inert elevator.

“So, I don't suppose someone here has a lamp?” Cillian asks.

“There are flashlights downstairs,” Irmgard says.

“Is fine!” Boriss grins. He leans down and grabs a long piece of wood from a broken crate. Then he wraps a bit of cloth around the tip. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a lighter. He then walks up to Cillian and points the torch head in his direction.

“Drink,” Boriss says.

Cillian pouts. He reaches in his back pocket and retrieves a small canteen. He opens it and pours rotgut onto the cloth.

Not a moment later and Boriss lights the torch.

He hands the lit torch to Irmgard and prepares another three. When he offers a torch to me, I merely shake my head. I point at my eyes and then the darkness.

“Ahhh, Comrade Qausi sees in dark. Is good. You will lead, yes?”

I nod.

“Wait, do we even know which way we should go?” Cillian asks.

I growl and then point in the direction where the smell of shit is most pronounced.

I lead them through the cave, heading further and further into the awful smell. As we get closer to the smell, we also begin to feel a cool breeze. Further in, and we see light. My steps quicken and my heart rate speeds up- but not from excitement.

Bat shit smells so fucking bad. Is this how dogs feel all the time? Goddamn this is miserable.

As soon as we cross the threshold to the outside world, I take in a deep and fresh breath.

Congratulations! You have passed the test: Escape from Downside.

You are now being designated as a possible candidate for a gods Champion.

Installing system interface…

Bypassing all soul protocols…

Error: Remnant of obsolete system found…

Removing obsolete remnants…

Installing World System version 1.0137…

Updating system to patch 1.7732…

Installation complete…

Activating World System…

World System Activated…

Oh shit. Another system world?

New user identified…

Activating first time user interface…

Restricting blood flow to brain…

Wait, what?

Before another thought can surface, my eyes shut and my body falls forward. Before it even hits the ground, I am unconscious.

_____________________________________________________________________

And the moment I fall unconscious, I find myself standing in a white room with my naked human body.

“This is odd,” I say aloud. I look around and find nothing but white.

Then, like I've trained, I sense the arrival of a powerful soul. I turn towards the source. A portal opens, and a four-foot-eight, one-eyed goddess falls out and smacks head-first onto the white floor.

“Owwww.” The short goddess cries. “Yazula hates small portals! Yazula is a big strong woman. Yazula will not accept small portals ever again!” she shakes a fist at where the portal used to be.

I raise an eyebrow at the diminutive girl who seems to talk in the third person.

She finally notices my presence from her laying state, and then quickly hops up to her bare feet. She straightens out her dress and then takes an authoritative pose with her diminutive chest extended.

“Mortal,” she begins commandably. “This one is Yazula, goddess of luck. You may bow before me.”

“Right.” I roll my eyes, “You’re here to take me to the god who wishes to name me his champion for the games.” I wave her forward. “I’ll bow to them if they are worthy. I don't just champion any divine being that comes to me. I have standards after all.”

Her mouth goes open and her cheeks turn red.

“Y-y-yazula chooses you to be her champion. Yazula is the goddess.” she points at herself.

Really? She’s the first offer?

“I refuse. I prefer my gods taller and more,” I wrap my senses over her low divinity. “Capable.”

“But, but, Yazula is Best Goddess.” she whines.

I turn away from her and look around for any more portals.

“I very much doubt that, especially from a god of just luck. Luck on its own tends to be very weak. Most gods of luck end up ceasing to exist.”

The goddess inflates her cheeks in outrage.

“Yazula is very capable. Yazula is the most capable goddess of all goddesses and gods.”

“Ah’ huh. I doubt that. Hey, do you know how I can talk to other gods? I’m sure they’re probably wanting to speak to me.

“They can't!” she pouts, “Yazula has already chosen you. You are Yazula’s champion now and Yazula is here to gift you a class and Blessing.”

A class? Blessing? Shit, its Orbis all over again.

“What do you mean class? I haven't even chosen a god yet.”

Her demeanor changes from pouting to happy smug.

“Yes, Yazula has used her magnificent power to choose the best Blessing and class for you.”

How can she choose? I didn’t even decide on a go- oh fuck.

“I don't have a choice, do I? I’m not bound to follow your directions or anything, but you have control over what abilities I obtain?”

Yazula grins. “Yes, you are Yazula's Champion!”

I sigh.

“I’m guessing you used your power to pick me as a champion out of every other one?”

She blinks at me. “No? Yazula was recommended to choose you.”

I blink at her for a few seconds. Then I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Let me get this straight. You chose me, specifically me, because someone recommended me to you? Do you even know who I am and what I do?”

“Yazula knows you are human and your name is…” she pauses for a long moment and gives me a long look with reddening cheeks. Then she slowly reaches into a dress pocket and glances at a notecard. “Quasi Eludo.”

I groan audibly.

Why? Why can't I ever get a normal employer? Like, I'd probably settle for a God of Chaos again instead of this.

“Fine, I guess I'm stuck with you.”

I sigh. “Yes, my name is Quasi Eludo and the reason I was probably recommended is because I am a professional summoned hero. My job involves getting whisked away to other worlds and completing tasks for gods. Out of everyone from my planet, I am the most competent of them all.”

Her eyes widen in realization. “Yazula can win!” she blurts out. “Yazula can actually win?!” She starts hopping up and down, even doing a little dance with a grin on her face. “Yazula is Best Goddess. Yazula will show horned god how much better Yazula is. Nobody will ever look down on Yazula again!”

“You are not even five feet tall,” I point out to the short goddess, “you’re probably too weak to even change your form and grow taller. They're going to still be looking down on you.”

Her little jig halts as she points at me. Her hands go to her hips. “Yazula is small because Yazula is cute. Yazula feels cute is the most important thing in life.”

I roll my eyes.

“Right, how about we focus on the games. What are the rules, requirements, and what can you offer me for my services?”

She nods to me, her expression growing serious. A flash happens and her clothing changes to that of a school teacher with a board of all things. She raises a ruler and taps the board where a circle with the word Tristique is written and the number twenty-one.

“The test for the games is on the planet Tristique. It is the planet you are on right now.” She taps the number next. “On the planet are twenty-one tower blessings. You must collect all the blessings before the final tower will reveal itself. Obtaining the final tower blessing will win you the game.”

I nod.

Simple enough.

“How big is the planet?”

“Yazula does not know.”

Okay....

“What do the blessings do?”

“Yazula does not know.”

“How many gods are part of the games?”

“A lot.”

Really?

“How much is a lot?”

She spreads her arms wide. “A big room.”

Fuck me.

“I’m going to guess that you know practically nothing about tristique other than it is a planet and that I need to find twenty one towers, correct?”

“Yazula knows about classes and skills.” She explains.

I perk up. “Oh good. And what do you know about classes and skills?” I ask.

“Yazula is not allowed to say.”

…

…

“Yazula.”

“Yes, that is Yazulas name?”

“You’re useless.”

“Yazula finds your jokes not funny.”

“Either tell me something useful, or I’m going to take that ruler and shove it up your ass.”

She blushes and holds her ruler closely to her. “Noooo, Yazula finds your advances too fast. It is not right.”

What?

“B-but, if Yazula’s champion desires her cute body for such deeds, Yazula would be willing to offer it up if Yazula wins the god games. Yazula believes it is only right to offer her champion Yazula’s most prized possession.”

“I don't want your body. I want something more tangible.”

She pouts. “Yazulas body is very tangible. It is very tangible and cute!”

“Goddammit woman. Is there anything else you can offer me? Like, what is the prize for the god games anyway?”

She perks up, “Prize? Oh, yea. Yazula remembers. Big squishy weird man said he is giving away a box that can make any mortal a god.”

OH SHIT. Really? That's a thing?

“Alright, if I win you’re going to use the box on me and turn me into a god.”

Her eyes pop out. She blushes and grins.

“You wish to embrace Yazula’s body as an equal? Yazula is truly wanted? Yazula is so happy.” She exclaims while doing a little jig.

You know what? Fuck it. Let's go with that. I’m already having a headache as it is.

“Yes, yes. But first, I’m going to need that class and blessing you talked about. I’m also going to need you to turn me back into a human if you haven't.”

She perks up. “Yazula has chosen the cutest blessing for you and a class that can use the Blessing. Look.” she waves her hand at me.

Initializing Class installation on entity Quasi Eludo…

Class installation has activated…

Adding Champion Recognition…

Replacing primary earth language with Common…

Installing Unique variant class [Shifter].

[Shifter] Class level 1.

You are a man who is connected to the material and immaterial plane. You are capable of absorbing the souls of those freely given and then transforming into the species the soul was of by using the [Shift] ability.

0/2 Souls

[Shift] Transform into the species of any souls you possess.

Activation Cost: Mana (Variable)

Sustain: Mana (Variable)

Duration: Until sustain stops.

Class installation complete…

Analyzing entity Quasi Eludo species…

Species scan complete: Entity Quasi Eludo is a Male Human based Fenririmorph…

Analyzing physical and mental capabilities…

Analyze complete. Loading capabilities…

Traits.

Human Average

Individual Base Calculations.

Level modifications

Trait Actual Value

Strength

10

36

+0%

36

Endurance

9

43

+0%

43

Vitality

12

0.27%M/R/M

22

0.54% M/R/M

+0%

22

0.54% M/R/M

Perception

9

27

+0%

27

Intelligence

11

16

+0%

16

Mana

388.8

480

+0%

480

Control

12

8

+0%

8

Capabilities Loaded. Initiating Blessing from entity Yazula…

Blessing loaded: Adding baby Mimicus soul to shifter class…

Baby Mimicus (Soul)

Mimicus are one of the most adaptable feline species in all of tristique. They have the unique ability to adapt to even the most dire environmental stimuli. They are also exceptional vocal mimics who are capable of mimicking any and all sounds they hear.

I read through all the slides, and then I glance at Yazula grinning at me.

“Did you choose my class because you wanted me to transform into a cat?”

Yazula winks.

“Yes, Yazula knows that cuteness is the strongest weapon anyone can use. So Yazula chose the cutest thi- what is wrong? Why do you look at Yazula like you are going to strangle her?”

I take a step towards her. “You chose a class for me based on a blessing that would let me turn into a fucking cat? A cat of all things? Do you even know if the class is strong or useful? Does the class only let me turn into a cat?”

“Yazula is not stupid,” she rushes behind the board as I approach.

“Yazula was very smart with her decision.”

I stop and reign in my anger.

“How so?” I ask skeptically.

She peeks behind the board and finds me standing there glaring at her.

“Yazula used her great power to choose the best blessing.”

“Your power?” I cross my arms. “Luck?”

Yazula extends a hand forward with her palm up. Then, out of nowhere, a bowl of tiny pieces of folded paper appears on her palm. “Yazula spent lots of time writing all the blessings Yazula is allowed to give. Then Yazula closes her eyes and chooses a lucky blessing.”

“And the lucky blessing was a cat?” I ask, surprised.

Honestly, a goddess of luck choosing a blessing at random and then taking a class associated with it is probably not bad.

“Fine, I hope that cat is useful. What about my human form? Can I turn back?”

Yazula tilts her head? “You’re human, right? Why would your form change?” she asks.

“You… don't know? I was infected by something called a Fenririmorph and my body transformed into something of a monster.”

“Yazula does not know. Yazula was busy writing blessings to watch you.”

I groan.

“Fine, whatever. I’ll figure it out. I need some more information about the system. What's the max level? What do all the traits do? How are skills gained? Is there a magic system?”

“Yazula does not know. Yazula was spending all her time writing blessings on paper.” she admits.

“You… don't know?”

She shakes her head sadly.

Why? Why does this happen to me? Out of all the possible gods, why her?

“Fine, I’ll figure it out myself. How can I contact you again?”

She gives me a blank look.

“Just send me back to my body.”

“Yazula is sor-”

I raise a hand to stop her.

“I’m rather annoyed right now. Just send me back. I’ll figure everything out on my own.”

She pouts as a portal opens behind her.

“Yazula is sorry.” she says sadly. “But Yazula will make it up to you.”

She enters the portal and disappears.