Glorious Vanity (SI LitRPG)

"...And that's the gist of what happened."

Freyr gave me a blank look, still processing what I told her.

I didn't tell her everything... after all, I had a feeling that it would lead to a lot of trouble down the line. But I did tell her about how I ended up causing a paradox and got it resolved by basically blowing up Lucifer's face and getting him to respect me due to the fire power.

...Still wasn't sure how that part worked, but I wasn't about to question the thought processes of a guy who was supposedly a fallen angel that managed to break free from the big guy's divine programming.

Since Freyr was still thinking, I decided to get some refreshments. Well, I wanted to get some refreshments, but while the room looked like a hotel room, it was lacking a refrigerator.

Thankfully, I was a man of many varied skills and random talents. Apparently.

Leaning back in my chair, I held out my hand and envisioned a can of ice cold soda. Nothing too complicated, basically carbonated water with some orange syrup. A bit citrusy...

It popped into existence without any trouble, faster than anything else I had made.

...Probably because I used to drink soda a lot back in college when I was living a decidedly unhealthy life style.

I turned the orange can of soda in my hand and then chuckled at the knockoff label of 'Phanta' before glancing at Freyr. "You want one?"

She blinked and then said, "Where did you get that?"

"Trade secret. But here. You look like you could use a drink... Ah, it's nonalcoholic though."

Not that it would do anything to her even if it was after [Heaven's Veil].

Freyr still looked a bit upset, but she nodded and took the soda. "Thank you, Vain."

I nodded and conjured another soda can. Cracking it open, I brought it to my mouth to take a sip.

And then I heard a muffled explosion from right in front of me.

I blinked and looked up to see Freyr staring into space with a crumpled soda can in her hands. Not only that, but her clothes, a plain white dress that she changed into after dismissing her armor, was covered in orange soda. A bit even got into her hair, turning the silver hair a shade of orange as well.

Seeing that, I couldn't resist and let out a small chuckle.

Freyr frowned and then said, "Honestly, Vain. A prank? At a time like this?"

I shook my head and materialized a cotton towel before handing it over. "My bad. I didn't realize that you'd accidentally rip the can apart. Forgot that you're probably used to sturdier stuff."

Considering that even a toddler could break a soda can, I should have expected that a literal goddess with vastly superior strength than an ordinary human would just cause it to explode after trying to pen it.

"A-Ah. So this is made of... I see. So metal can be this fragile..." Freyr took the towel from me, but she kept her gaze on the shredded soda can. After staring at it for a bit, she shook her head and set it aside. That done, she started cleaning herself up, wiping the soda off her clothes and body.

In the meantime, I did my best not to stare... No, that was a lie. Rather than turning away, I took the time to appreciate Freyr's beauty.

The soda caused her clothes to cling to her body, completely tracing out the curves beneath. And revealing that she didn't wear any underclothes.

That made sense considering she probably didn't have to worry about most things due to being a goddess... but she really was set up to run into those sorts of situations, huh? Even the bit with the soda was like a fanservice scene from an anime.

[Heaven's Veil] was supposed to prevent things like that... but apparently embarrassing situations weren't counted as harmful.

Freyr lowered her towel and then froze when she caught me staring. A faint blush appeared on her face and she quickly brought the towel down to cover her chest. "M-My apologies."

I sighed and said, "In situations like these, Freyr, you're supposed to get upset at the guy, not apologize."

"T-That... I suppose that is true. But..." She stared into my eyes and then looked away, muttering, "I could never get mad at you."

...Yeah, that ship has definitely sailed.

Note to self: start figuring out how to make anti-divine, anti-demonic, and all sorts of other countermeasures for potential suitors that are going to pop up out of the woodwork now that Freyr's completely crushing on me.

[You're being awfully nonchalant about Miss Valhalla's feelings towards you, Vain.]

Oh hey, Alice. And nonchalant... Well, I'm not the sort of guy to get horny over any beautiful woman, even if they're a goddess, you know? Freyr's nice and all, but relationships take time.

And I'm also kinda not ready to commit to a relationship with a goddess when I'm very much an ordinary mortal that's even weaker than the average person around.

['An ordinary mortal' he says after managing to ambush <The Inviolable Morning Star> and steal a fragment of Surtr's flames...]

Doesn't change the fact that I can still trip and break my neck, you know?

Silence filled the room. After that confession, Freyr didn't say anything else, only shyly staring at me with her clear blue eyes.

Of course, since it meant that she forgot the part about me owing a debt, I was more than content to let that stand... Actually, more distractions were good.

"Anyway," I said. "Here." I handed her the new can of orange soda I made and said, "Now be careful. It's not glass, but considering your strength it might as well be."

Freyr gingerly took the can from me and nodded. Afterwards, she looked at the opening and carefully raised the can to take a sip. When she did, she flinched and pulled the can back. "Bubbly? This..." She frowned and looked at me. "Is this a potion of sorts, Vain?"

I made another soda for myself and shook my head. "Nah. I'm not that fancy. It's just some fizzy water with fruit juice. A pretty common refreshment my homeworld." I paused and then stared at the soda in Freyr's hand. "At least, it should be? Does it taste weird?"

Freyr quickly shook her head. "Not at all!" She smiled and said, "It is wonderful. Just... quite unexpected." She shyly glancecd at me and said, "...Like you." Immediately after she said that, she blushed and hid her face with the can, taking a large sip.

[Oh. She has it bad.]

Please don't remind me.

[At least you have the blessing of Miss Freyr's parents? From the messages sent previously, it appears that you won't have to do any strenuous trials to win her hand in marriage.]

Well, considering that I apparently defied death, changed her fate, and performed a miracle to give her a path out from an impossible situation, that's pretty expected, don't you think?

Anyway, talk later. Currently handling a goddess that's definitely head over heels for me and trying to avoid loveydovey time.

[...You are strange. Have I said that?]

Says the abstract system that's supposed to be impartial and just supply objective information to me.

[I blame you.]

You're probably right to do so. Anyway, later. Go... do whatever you do when you're not talking with me.

[Hmph.]

With a soft snort in my head, Alice's presence vanished.

When it did, I cracked open my can of soda and took another sip.

Freyr did the same, watching me with a faint smile on her face.

I decided to ignore that problem for the moment and think about my current situation.

Judging from how Lucy sent us all away, we definitely weren't going to continue the Tutorial missions until tomorrow. Or rather, the next part of the Tutorial seemed to be interacting with our teammates.

Since the people had split into factions, if I had to guess I would assume that we were all placed into our own areas... No, considering that Lucy was in charge, we were probably all in one building.

All the more potential to lead to chaos.

Right now though, all the Chosen were probably taking a breather... though I didn't know whether they were bunking with other people or had their own room.

I had a feeling that it was probably the latter considering the smirk Lucy gave me. The fact that I was here with Freyr seemed more like him trolling than the norm.

Though maybe that guy liked shipping people? In that case, Aqua and Gale were probably in a room together-

"Vain?"

Freyr's soft voice drew me out of my thoughts.

I lowered my soda can and looked at her.

She seemed happy, but also a bit hesitant. Holding the soda can in her hands, she swirled it around slightly, lost in thought. But then she said, "Tell me honestly. You... are you well?"

I blinked. "Pardon?"

Freyr lowered her soda and then stared at me. She pursed her lips for a few moments and then said, "You should not be alive. An ordinary human, even with the aid of someone like Lord Lucifer could not survive what you did. At least, not without paying a grave price. And he mentioned that you had a debt now... one you undertook for my sake." She stared at me and said, "Vain... Please tell me. Just what did you do? What exactly did you pay to save me?"

Ah. Well, crap. Distraction failed.

Freyr bit her lower lip and said, "I... I may not be able to do much to repay your debt, but at the least... I would like to know the troubles that I caused for my hero."

"Hero, huh?" I chuckled and said, "You're giving me too much credit, Freyr. Besides, I didn't do anything too special. I mean, anyone else would have-"

"Stop." Freyr's sharp tone cut me off and she narrowed her eyes. "Do not *dare* say that anyone else would have done the same." She shook her head, a haunted expression on her face. "To bear the attack of a Divine Myth with your very body and withstand it through sheer will and determination... and then to even...!" She clenched her hands, crumpling the soda can. Before it completely shattered though, she stopped and let out a shuddering breath.

...Yeah. So maybe it wasn't the best idea to pull off that stunt considering the clear trauma it caused Freyr.

Note to self. Freyr will definitely go off the deep end in the future and be super protective. Try to avoid situations where that could happen.

Freyr carefully unclenched her hands and then looked at me.

Seeing her pained expression, I sighed and said, "Sorry you had to see that." I frowned and rubbed the back of my neck. "I really wasn't planning to handle the situation like that, but I didn't have any other choice at the time, you know?" I paused and said, "...Well, I guess I did. But my body moved before my mind could catch up to it." I let out a wry laugh.

"...That is not funny."

"I know."

Freyr placed the soda can off to the side. After that, she looked to me and said, "You still have not told me what price you paid."

I waved my hand. "It's nothing much. Just a few bonus status points."

Freyr narrowed her eyes. "How many?"

"A few. Seriously, it's nothing at-"

"How. Many?"

I stared into her eyes, resisting the urge to look away.

It would be fine if I lied to her, right? Just a little white lie to hide the amount. After all, it wasn't much...

That was what I thought. But seeing those clear blue eyes filled with anger... but anger born from concern, I couldn't do it.

With a sigh, I said, "About a hundred?"

Freyr gasped. "A hundred bonus stat points?!" She shook her head and said, "But it would be impossible to have accumulated that many-?" She froze, her eyes lighting up in realization. And when they did, countless emotions crossed her face. Shock, happiness, fear, and then eventually anger. "Vain. Do you understand what you have done?"

"It's just a few levels. Don't worry about it."

"Ten levels are not a few! Do you even understand what bonus stat points represent!? And what it means to use them as-?"

I stood up from my chair and walked over to the door. "Anyway, you're probably sticky from the soda and fighting, right? I'll leave you to clean up, Freyr."

"Vain!" Freyr stood up and started walking after me. "This conversation is not over!"

"And you worry too much. Just relax, Freyr. I'll be right... back?" I grabbed the door handle and turned it... only to find that it was locked. I frowned and turned it harder, but it wouldn't budge.

Should I just break it?

...No. Knowing that guy, he'd charge me an excessive amount to fix it.

I sighed. "Dammit, Lucy."

Freyr caught up and crossed her arms, glaring at me. "Vain!"

I turned around and shook my head. "What's done is done, Freyr. And besides, what are you even mad about? I'm safe, you're safe, and I did it to make sure you stayed safe. It's not like I did anything wrong, right?"

It was a bit reckless, true. But in the end, nothing bad happened. And the debt wasn't even really a debt since I was just paying it to myself technically. In exchange for a broken item to help Freyr, I'd just have to make do for a few levels without bonus stat points. No big deal.

Freyr froze, all the anger leaving her. "T-That is..."

"True, right?" I stared into her eyes and smiled. "Besides, it's not like a few bonus points will help me much anyway, you know?" I laughed and said, "My stats are pretty poor to begin with, so it'll take a lot more than just a few bonus points to fix them."

"But-"

"No buts." I shook my head and said, "Now, I really do feel bad about leaving you messy like this, so I'll give you some privacy to clean up." With that said, I turned around to try and open the door again.

Since the situation was resolved, it was bound to be unlocked, right?

...Nope. Lucy was trolling.

I sighed and turned back around towards Freyr.

Staring at me, Freyr sighed and said, "Very well. If you are not concerned about it, Vain, then I will let the topic rest. However..." She tilted her head and said, "Why are you so insistent on leaving the room?"

"Because there's only one bathtub and no place for you to change?"

Freyr shifted in place and said, "...Am I not appealing to you?" She rubbed her arms and said, "I know that my body is not as delicate as most other women, but..."

Ah, dammit. Not this trope.

I shook my head. "No. You're extremely beautiful, Freyr."

"Then... why?"

"...Shouldn't you be more self-conscious about showing your body to random men, Freyr? Aren't you supposed to be a goddess? Like, isn't that taboo or something?"

Freyr tilted her head. "But you are not some random man. And even then... With all that you have done for me, even repaying you with my body would not be enough." She blushed and said, "...S-So it is fine."

...Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

If she was going to be like that, I might as well double down.

"Alright." I nodded and then walked over to my chair and spun it around to face the hot tub. After that, I waved towards it.

Freyr blushed. "V-Vain?"

I shrugged and then leaned back in the chair, making myself comfortable. "What? If you're not going to be self-conscious about it, I'm not going to be. Besides, it's not every day I get to appreciate such a beautiful woman in her bare beauty you know?"

[Pervert.]

Weren't you going to leave me be?!

[I was. But as a woman, I have to interject at a moment like this.]

Right... Are you even sure you're female in the first place?

[Rude! I will have you know that I am just as beautiful as Miss Valhalla!]

Uh-huh. Why don't you prove it then by showing up in person? Oh right, you can't.

[You-! Hmph. I've had enough. I will talk with you tomorrow.]

Sure, sure. Take care Alice.

[...I will make you eat those words of yours. One day, Vain. One day...]

I shook my head and shifted my attention back to Freyr.

In my mental exchange with Alice, Freyr had walked over to the hottub and turned on the water. Standing at the edge of the tub, she turned back to look at me, as red as a tomato. "T-Then... I-I am doing it!"

I nodded. "I'm waiting."

Freyr turned an even deeper shade of red and reached for her shirt. Staring me in the eye, she slowly pulled it up, exposing chiseled abs and pure white skin.

I conjured another soda can and cracked it open.

Freyr pulled her shirt up to her midriff, showing the underside of her chest... and then her blue eyes rolled up in her head and she started to tilt.

But I was expecting that. Before she fell down and hurt herself... Well, considering what she was, it probably wouldn't hurt at all...

Even so, before she collapsed on the floor, I caught her.

Freyr's face was completely red, a blush that spread down her neck and to the top of her chest, threatening to be a full-body blush.

I shook my head and said, "Silly goddess. Being like this is part of why you're so susceptible to those sorts of events, you know?" I sighed and lifted her up in a princess hold, making sure to fix her shirt again to cover her body. After that, I placed her on the bed and focused on the orange soda staining her clothes and hair.

"Hm..."

Since it was made by me, even though it was meant to last, if I wanted it gone- Ah.

In an instant, the sticky soda stains were gone, and Freyr was left as pristine and beautiful as she always was.

Well, that and completely unconscious.

After making sure she was tucked in properly, I turned off the water in the hot tub and then checked the door again.

Still locked.

...It seemed like Lucy was serious about spending the night getting to know our companions.

I sighed and made a comfy couch to sit in. As I did, I pulled Avalon off my arm and examined it properly.

I'd neglected my faithful shield a bit since the hydra, but it seemed like it was doing well.

It had changed form a bit again, the metal turning a sleek black color with golden trimming.

Did it evolve a bit after enduring that hydra breath?

"...Man I wish I had analyze or something. It'd be great to know how you're doing, Avalon..."

I'd love to get an idea of how strong it had gotten. Considering that it managed to do something to pull me through that mess, I was sure that Avalon was stronger than a normal shield... and probably had some extra abilities too.

But sadly, I didn't and Alice wasn't volunteering any information about it.

I yawned and then placed Avalon on top of my chest before making myself comfortable on the couch. "Well... might as well get some shut eye. Night best shield. Night, crazy female voice that lives in my head."

[I heard that!]

"That was the point." I yawned again and then closed my eyes.

Before I knew it, I found myself drifting off to sleep. But just before I completely fell unconscious...

'Good night, Master.'

...I could have sworn I heard a different voice echo in my head.

But before I could dwell on it, I lost consciousness.