Galaxy's First Ruler

"Ten thousand flowers are yet to bloom,

the swallows shivered, seeing the reluctant snow."

In an unknown place, the spring had taken its first steps into the world. The chilly air and snowy peaks had lost the allure of winter and the wildflowers on one side of the pathway had resurrected from the long slumber. On the other side of the rocky and sandy pathway, there was a stream that went along with it for a few miles.

One could see a man riding a donkey on this path coming out of the mountains. He had long black hairs which fluttered in the morning wind and deep black eyes. With sword-like eyebrows, coupled with the red tinge on his smooth skin, saying he looked handsome would have been an understatement. One could see a torn old bag hanging down on one side of the donkey and on the other side there was a long cyan-colored parasol. From time to time, the young man had been tracing the parasol's lining as he sang the songs looking at the sky.

"Lin, what has four legs, a tail, and a sad face?"

The man struck the donkey's bottom and asked a question with sheer playfulness written over his face.

"Heee, Grrr!"

The donkey grunted in annoyance. Or it just refused to go along with the daily routine.

"Well, of course, it's your mother. Haha…"

"…"

"Cough… Cough. Ahem, Ah! Look, someone's there! Shit, it's the old fart again."

The young man pointed towards a small hut in front of which an old woman was sweeping the porch.

"Old fart! Oi, Old fart!"

He shouted, still on the back of the donkey, and threw a small rock to make some noise and get the attention of the old woman. The old woman flinched seeing the sudden rock and took a breath of relief seeing the pair of man and the donkey. But this relief turned into an annoying look with her narrowed old eyebrows. Unfortunately, none could distinguish them from the wrinkles on her face.

"Oh! Ling Huang, you again? What is it?"

"Old fart, do you know where this path goes?"

"Tch! Is this one of your jokes? I swear to mother Spring, I would kill you if it is."

Hee-Hee-Grrrr

SLAP!

The donkey's head moved up and down, trying to alert the old woman. But a heavy slap from Ling brought the donkey back to its senses.

"Don't mind this idiot! It just wants to hump something," said Ling, glaring at the donkey.

"Oh well! Let me see."

The old woman approached Ling and put a hand over her eyes to look at the long and distant path. The path seemed to go on towards the east like a sleek snake and the rays from the morning sun hit her directly in her old eyes. Except for a blur some tens of meters ahead, she probably would have seen nothing.

"Oh I remember, I remember," said the Old woman, gripping her bamboo broom tightly.

"Where?" Ling brought his ear down towards her with a sheepish smile on his face.

"It goes… straight in your asshole, you motherfucker," said the old woman and slapped the broom right on his face.

THAPPP!!!

The Bamboo fibers left deep red impressions on Ling's face and with a thumping noise, he fell from Lin's back.

"You!… You old fart. Lin, take a dump on the porch. I said, on the porch, not on the path. Fu…"

Ling pointed aggressively towards the donkey but didn't get the desired result. With quick steps, he went into the hut and brought a small sack of rice. He tied it near the larger bag on the donkey's back and eyed the old woman meanly.

"Someone ate a lot of salt for today's breakfast."

Swishhh!! BAM!

The broom came flying and hit him on the head.

"Run, Lin run. The old woman has activated Houyi's Arrow Skill."

Such were the adventures of Ling Huang in his spring.

*

As the pair of Lin and Ling kept going on the path, the morning turned to a scorching afternoon. Ling opened the parasol to get some shade, and the donkey drank the sweet water of the stream.

"A feathered fan solaced the quivering heart,

remembering the warm eyes of a hundred peasants."

Ling's face got blasted with the hot and dry wind as he reached an open field. In the middle of the field, there was a ginkgo tree, under which he could see a farmer and his daughter eating their lunch. He guided Lin towards the father and daughter.

"Ba, look! Big Brother Huang is here again."

The little girl with her ponytails flailing about ran towards Ling, who had already come down from Lin's back. The girl jumped in the air as she reached Ling's feet. He caught her mid-air and swung her swiftly on the back of the donkey. Ling approached the middle-aged farmer and handed over the sack of rice. He took out a big bowl of hot cooked rice from the pot. Both men silently ate with chopsticks as they watched the girl playing with Lin.

"I would trade one extra bowl of rice for this donkey. Man, I could sure use some help on the field."

Cough!!!

The mouthful of unchewed rice came spitting out as Ling heard the farmer's offer. He used the ladle to fetch out water from the bucket and drank it with heavy gulps. He finished the rest of the bowl and slouched down against the tree's trunk. Enjoying the comfort for a second, he looked at the middle-aged man.

"Fucker, that's a Qilin."

The rugged farmer eyed the Qilin closely and said, "Humph! It doesn't look like one."

Ling's face instantly became red with shame and anger. None had disrespected the creature like this so far. The vein on his head bulged as he blurted out.

"Oh, I get it! So that's how it is. You want to fuck it, don't you? You shameless bastard!"

"Have you gone senile?" The middle-aged farmer cringed hearing the disgusting remark.

But this didn't seem to be enough for Ling.

"Oi, girl. Look what your father wants to do with…"

Ling's words were cut short by the stalk of grass that had come slashing down on his face. He dodged the grass and rolled down towards his parasol. The farmer followed the first slash with another one and it hit directly on the opened parasol.

TINK!!!

The loud grating noise caught the attention of the girl and the Qilin. Ling jumped and landed on Lin's back. The parasol in his hand looked like a pagoda towering to heaven.

"Big Brother, Ba, you two are fighting again?"

Ling looked at the girl and a smile surfaced on his face as he said, "Tell your father to go easy on me. I still have a long summer ahead."

A frown or a brief look of pity passed through the middle-aged man's face. And the father and daughter saw the young man with his mount leaving on the old path.

"Bye, Big Brother Huang. Bye, Lin."

Ling shook the parasol and without turning back, shouted, "Bye, kid. Keep your father away from stray animals."

Such were the adventures of Ling Huang in his summer.