Ch 57 | ⚶ Accountability and Growth
As the four arrived in La’gobell they spotted an inn not even a block away from the town walls. In short order, Mira had gotten them rooms, Alexis got the horses situated, and Ramiro had their bags moved into the rooms. While this was taking place Regina had found a seat and was already drinking her second glass of wine.
Ramiro gathered Mira and Alexis off to the side, “Y’all know she’s going to sit there and drink herself unconscious the rest of the day. I say we look around the town and figure out where the businesses we inherited are at.”
“You want to go do all that this afternoon?” asked Mira.
“No. I don’t want to do anything other than find them and have a look around the town.”
“Oh, that works for me. Alexis, you coming?”
Shaking her head Alexis replied, “No. Mom and I are going to have a talk. Would you mind hitting her with a heal spell as you leave. Maybe that will sober her up.”
“I don’t mind, but I’ll need to cast a cure poison first, then the heal. Are you sure, though. She’s going to be difficult.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Alexis took a deep calming breath and then walked over to the table Regina was sitting at. As she sat she waved at the bartender and held up two fingers. Ramiro and Mira walked over and let Regina know they were going to scope out the town. As they walked away, Mira’s spells took hold and Regina realized what had happened.
“She just killed my buzz!” she complained as she turned to yell at Mira.
“I asked her to. You started without me,” replied Alexis.
Regina met Alexis’s eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure that’s the only reason. Out with it.”
Alexis nodded, “Okay. I was going to ease into things but if you want to rip the band-aid off I can do that too. Why are you so hateful toward your husband?”
“You know how he is.”
“I know that he’s lied to you in the past. I know that he has anger issues and has broken a lot of things, put holes in a lot of walls. I know that usually when you two get into an argument he won’t let it rest until after he has a chance to speak his peace. I know that he’ll continue trying to say what he wants to say even if you pepper spray him, stab him, or shoot at him. And I know that he is never the first to leave, like he did today.”
“Of course you’re taking his side. Everyone sides against Regina because she’s crazy and poor Eric is stuck with her abuse.”
“Saying it in a sarcastic tone doesn’t change the fact that it is abuse. It doesn’t change the fact that you are suppose to be the paladin for the god of oaths and it looks like you’re going out of your way to break the oaths you swore when you and Eric were married.”
“We didn’t swear any oaths.”
About that time the bartender brought out two more glasses of wine. Alexis paid and took a sip before continuing. “Do you really think there’s a difference between and oath and a wedding vow? Are you sure the super powerful god that brought you here agrees with you on that?”
By this point Regina was feeling trapped and angry. “What do you want from me?” she snapped at Alexis. “Who was there when your mother abandoned you and your sisters? Who helped your dad raise you. What has Eric ever done for you?”
“Why does it matter what he’s done. What does that have to do with you acting like a major B? And yeah, sure. You helped dad raise my sisters and I. And I’m grateful. But let’s not ignore the fact that your help was primarily available while dad was giving you and Reyna free room and board. Let’s not mention that once you moved out you didn’t go months at a time without talking to us.”
“A major B? You’re 19. You can just say the word bitch.”
“Nice deflection. Focus on the fact that I’m not as lewd as you rather than on the fact that you still haven’t answered my question. Why do you hate your husband so much? You know what, don’t bother. I don’t care. None of us care why you hate him. We care about why you are willing to let that hate cause you to do stupid things that are going to endanger all of us, like running off our tracker and the only one of us that can attack from a distance.”
Taking another drink of wine Alexis locked eyes once again with Regina, “I love you. You were there for me many times when I needed a mom and I’ll never forget that. But that doesn’t give you the right to endanger my life now because you want to be a B to your husband.
“We’ve been here on Traum for three months. That’s the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my dad. Figure out your issues and fix them or I swear to Nitana that I will saddle my horse and ride straight for my dad and sisters. I’m done with your selfishness endangering my life. If I’m going to be in danger I might as well do it myself and try to meet up with my dad.”
Standing Alexis finished her glass of wine and walked out of the inn leaving Regina sitting by herself.
After watching Alexis leave, Regina stood and walked to the bar. “What’s the strongest drink you have? I want to forget the conversation I just had.”
The bar tender looked at her for a moment before nodding and walked into a back room and came back with a small cask and set it on the bar. “This here is an orcish drink. They typically drink it after a battle. They claim it’s to celebrate their victory but I honestly think it’s to help them forget the killing because it will turn the previous day into a mystery. And it’s four silver per glass.”
Regina pulled out four gold, “I’ll take ten. Line ‘em up.”
The bartender did as told but remarked, “That is a strange accent you have. Where did you grow up?”
Regina picked up the first glass and downed it like a shot before looking back at the bar tender, “Worlds away from here it seems. Surrounded by humans.” She then proceeded to shoot the other nine glasses back to back, getting a perverse joy from seeing the bartender’s eyes widening more and more. When she finished the last one the bartender and two of the other patrons in the place all clapped. With a smirk Regina thanked the bartender. “My friends are assholes and we tend to pressure one another drink take shots of something called Everclear, which is stronger than this orcish stuff here. This stuff reminds me of something called 151. It’ll hit in a couple minutes so I’m going to retire to my room…. if you can tell me which one is mine. My friends left without telling me.”
The bartender shook his head and let her know. As Regina walked away he called out after her, “Put the waste bucket near your bed, please. I’d rather not have to clean up the floor and bed tomorrow.”
⚶
Regina stood in darkness. She couldn’t recall where she had been. She looked around for a while before calling out, “Whoever you are, this darkness doesn’t bother me.”
“Does not bother you… yet.” Said a voice in the dark. A moment later one area lightened enough for Regina to see someone walking toward her. It was Calore, the god of oaths. “But no, I don’t think the darkness would bother you. I think the silence would get to you first. That’s why you had to say something. To reassure yourself that you could still hear.”
Regina’s emotions were still out of control from her conversation with Alexis earlier… that had just happened right? How long had she been here? Shaking her head she looked back at her patron deity, “So I’m in trouble with you as well?”
Calore had a pained look in his eyes as he replied, “Come. Walk with me.” As they started to walk through the darkness nothing changed. Regina could barely see where she was stepping but she continued to walk with the god who didn’t say anything for a long time.
“I don’t believe you need time to get your thoughts together. You’re a god. Just say whatever it is.”
“Yes, it really is the silence that gets to you isn’t it. Very well. I see in you a strong heart. You love hard and hate harder. You despise people who lie and I thought that quality would make you ideal for my service. But I didn’t realize at the time that you despise everyone who lies… and you lie often. Mostly to yourself. You put on this show when in front of others, often bragging about how amazing you are. You hide your emotions from even your friends and family and most importantly from yourself.” Pausing to look straight at her he continues, “Regina, I’m the god of oaths AND judgment. You rarely mention that second domain but I think it may be the more important one when dealing with you. You judge yourself far more harshly than I ever would. And all these unprocessed emotions cause you to lash out.”
“Well this is how I am and I’m too old to change now,” Regina spat back.
Calore started walking again as he spoke, “That is incorrect. In your old world you may have been nearing middle age. But here, as an elf and with the boons you have, you are the equivalent to a toddler. Which seems appropriate because that’s how you’re acting.”
Regina glared over at him and went to snap at him but realized that her voice was gone. Twice more she tried and no sound came from her.
“If you have something worth saying, you may say it. But I’ll not waste my time with your childish outbursts where you tell me to just go away. Where you tell me that you want me to abandon you because everyone has. For you to say that would be a lie and you will not lie here. You can be wrong. You can make mistakes. But you can not lie when standing in my realm!”
Taking an unneeded breath the god continued, “You seek to treat me as if I am just another mortal friend of yours, but I am not. I am a god and I’m not here to wipe your nose or powder your bottom. But I am willing to help you if you will let me.”
As he finished speaking he faded from view but the very slight illumination remained and showed a nice overstuffed chair. Regina walked over to the chair and rather than sitting in it, she started hitting and kicking it while tears ran down her cheeks.
Eventually, after both her fists were bloody and a few toes broken, the chair was nothing but a busted mess. Regina fell onto it and finally let go. She cried for things that she’d done, she cried for things that were done to her, she cried for things she endured and survived. She cried for so long she lost track of time. Eventually she stood and wiped her eyes and nose. She sensed someone behind her and turned to see another chair. Next to it was a small table with a glass of water and some tissues. Regina sat and finished collecting herself.
“That looked very difficult,” said Calore from a chair on the other side of the small table. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m even more sorry that it won’t be the last time you’ll need go through something like that. You have many hurts and many wrongs to work through. This was biggest of them. You’ve taken that first step toward healing. Undoubtedly you have questions. Please, ask.”
Regina chuckled, “Okay. You’re the god of oaths and I’m suppose to be your paladin. But I need to break an oath. What do I do?”
“You refer to your marriage to Eric?”
“Yeah. I mean yes, sir.”
“I am not the god of oaths in the realm where those oaths were made. But because of our positions I would appreciate if you would conduct some sort of ceremony rather than just going in different directions. After all, married or not, the two of you will be working together for some time to come.”
“What sort of ceremony?”
“Different cultures have different ways. The two of you will need to agree on one. Traditional Gnomes make a marriage contract when they get together. Then when they part ways, they tear the contract. If they are parting are good terms the torn contract is lit on fire and watched burn. If they are parting with animosity they crumble the paper and toss it on the ground and step on it as they walk away. The marriage and divorce ceremony done by the Orcs both involve fighting and bloodshed. Elves being the long lived race they are, traditionally spend a year in quiet meditation before being wed and are expected to do the same prior to divorce.”
“Oh hell no! We don’t have that kind of time.”
“I agree. There’s a group of humans that have an interesting custom that I think you’ll like. When they wed, the officiant pours water over the heads of those being married. The water symbolizes letting go of the past and entering the union clean and pure. When they divorce the couple is made to walk through running water side by side. When they make it to the other side their marriage is considered washed away. And if they are parting on good terms, the couple would help one another to keep from falling due to the current of the water. I think that’s good option for you and Eric should you choose to separate.”
Regina nodded her head, “Yeah, I like that one. I’m sure there’s a few streams around that we could walk through.