Friends in a Foreign Land

After the break, Khatar resumed his lecture. "Would everyone here agree that emotions can be powerful and oftentimes messy?"

"Don't forget violent," Eric said while staring at Regina.

"That too," Khatar agreed. "So how do elves handle emotions?”

“Isn’t it some sort of nature tree hugging stuff?” answered Regina. “No eating meat. Walk around like there’s a stick up your…”

Cutting her off, Khatar pressed on, “The ties to nature is correct. I’m not sure what you mean by tree hugging and most of us do eat meat.

“To be an elf is to be connected to nature. It is central to our very existence. Our ancestors lived in a different realm with different rules. In that realm they were so connected to nature there that they were immortal. Then, some of them left this other realm, called the feywilde, and came here to what some call the material realm or the prime realm.”

“If your ancestors were all immortal in the feywilde why did they come here?” asked Alexis.

“The feywilde is the same today as it was thousands of years ago. Nothing ever changes. Everything exists in harmony or it’s removed. There’s no innovation or change. And time itself is different and unpredictable there. You could go there and stay for centuries and return here and only minutes have passed. Or you could go there for minutes and return here to learn that tens of thousands of years have passed.

“As for why my ancestors came here, it was because they were bored. They heard stories from our goddess Ashduin about prime realm and the idea of how fast things here changed seemed enticing to those who were millennia old and bored. So they started to ask if they could see the prime realm. Ashduin would open portals and let them look upon this realm. As the years passed they then asked if they could visit. Eventually Ashduin allowed a few to visit and return. This continued to drive the curiosity and in time one entire group of elves wanted to come to the prime realm. Eventually our goddess Ashduin decided that it was time and brought all her creations together and urged them all to travel to the prime realm. Peace had been reached between the dragons and giants, their war was over and it was now considered safe for us to come here. Oaths were swore and portals opened and fey races came. In the end about three quarters of the fey stayed while the other quarter decided to move home to the feywilde.

“As the years went by the nature of this realm impacted us and we started to take on traits related to where we lived. Now rather than there being just Yuantinh which is to say, an elf from the feywilde, we now have many subspecies here on Traum. There are light elves, also called sun elves or high elves by some. They pride themselves in being the most like the Yuantinh whether we are or not is up for debate. Then the dark elves which like to live underground, wood or green elves, arctic or snow elves, water elves which are also called sea elves, dune elves also called sand elves. And then we have half-elves such as Alexis here. Half-elves are the product of an elf mating with those of another species. Alexis, if someone refers to you as a Bantinh, they are intentionally being insulting and are implying that you are beneath them.

“Now, how did we end up with so many subspecies of elves? Remember that connection to nature that I spoke of? That connection sped up our evolutions to adapt us to the environments we chose to settle in.”

“What do you mean by adaptations?” asked Mira.

“The water elves have gills below their ears allowing them to breath underwater. The dune elves have a second set of eyelids that are clear, allowing them to keep sand out of their eyes.”

“Dude, that’s cool! I’m a wood elf. What adaptations do I have?” Eric enthusiastically asked.

Khatar smiled, happy to some engagement, “Wood elves are typically more agile and have better senses. But no one is entirely sure if that’s by birth or due to being raised in the forests. The one that we know for sure is a racial trait is that wood elves can enter a meditative trance while in sunlight to regain their energy. So, as long as it’s sunny outside, you can skip eating and reduce your need to sleep. However, you will need more water than usual when you do so.”

“So you’re part plant now!” Alexis laughed. “I wonder, are you an succulent?”

“He’s prickly enough to be a cactus,” added Regina.

“Laugh all you want. I just learned I’m solar powered,” Eric fired back with a grin.

After giving the group a few minutes to talk and play, Khatar brought them back on topic, “Now, knowing what we now know about our connect to nature, is it any surprise that we try to model how we handle our emotions after nature itself?

“We try to flow with our emotions rather than fight against them. This allows us to be happy or at least content, in almost any situation. This is the first thing that sets us apart from the humans you were and will likely be the easiest part of our culture for you to learn.

"The second part of being an elf that you must practice is learning to focus on the whole, not the individual. This is not something unique to us, though. Dwarves, Gnomes, and others share this idea that the we is more important than the me. But humans, in this world at least, seem to be the exact opposite. If that is true for your world, then I expect you may have trouble with this concept.

"The last major difference between elves and others is that we focus on the long term more than the short term. That is not to say we ignore the short term, merely that we keep a longer viewpoint in mind. If a human builds a fence, he may build one to last the next twenty years and be satisfied with it. If an elf builds a fence, it better last several centuries, or he will be upset. I realize that this mindset is largely due to the differences in lifespans, so this may be impossible for you to internalize until you've lived in our culture for some time. But you should, at the minimum, be aware of it as it could lead to disagreements when you’re dealing with other elves. Should you upset an elf tomorrow and then move on in life, you very well may meet that same elf in four hundred years and learn that he’s still waiting on an apology.”

Looking around the room Khatar asked, “Any questions on those three parts of elvish culture that sets us apart?”

“When you say focus on the whole, what do you mean?” asked Mira.

Most elves live in tight communities. Even in this city, there are thousands of small little communities. So those elves will first consider the other elves in the community before themselves. For you all, it would be first considering one another before yourself.”

“So, does that mean if I want to eat tacos and Regina wants a burger I should take her to get a burger for dinner?” asked Eric.

“I don’t know what either of those are, but yes. You should consinder those around you when deciding what to fix for dinner. But more to the lesson, you should consider what impact your actions will have on your group at all times. That’s not to say you can never do something just for yourself. Just that you shouldn’t do things that negatively impact the others around you.”

“Yeah,” said Regina. “When you eat tacos, think of me and skip the beans so I don’t have to smell you all night.”

"That’s a good example. If you were to eat the beans, then find another place to go afterwards so as to not negatively impact others. Now, let's delve into emotions. I believe this will be the easiest of the three parts for you to pick up.

“Elves physically and mentally mature at about the same rate as a human. So why does our culture consider fully grown elves to be children until their hundredth year?"

Putting it together with the discussion from the previous night, Reyna answered, "To give them time to gain emotional maturity."

"Exactly. Since you all grew up as humans, you know that the emotions of teenagers can often times swing from one extreme to another quite quickly. But in human adults, that is less common. This is because human society, and I'm assuming your home is similar to the human cities here, but through societal pressures teaches that these wild swings are bad and that you should learn to control them. Elves are the same way. But rather than giving kids a few years to learn this entirely on their own, we give them decades to learn. And rather than it simply being a matter of pressure from their elders, it's a matter of custom, training, and even law.

"I know from speaking with you yesterday that you all were adult humans. But none of you look more than a couple decades old. So when you are out and about in elven culture, you all will be seen as children. Not children in the way that you need constant supervision, but children in that you aren’t expected to be fully mature. Other elves will not be surprised when you violate cultural norms occasionally but if you do it too much or violate the wrong norm, someone will come to speak with you. Perhaps an elder or a priest. Or maybe a gate guard or other government official.

"Over the next few months, we're going to teach you about the culture we're trying to rebuild. And as you go out in the world, we will expect you to behave appropriately. But because of your perceived youth, the occasional solecism will be excused. This will be to your benefit.

Khatar continued to teach the team that the elves learned from nature to flow with events; to adapt to changes. "The tree that refuses to bend is eventually broken."

"Emotions are like nature as well. Anger is a wildfire ready to destroy everything in its path. Happiness is like a warm spring day. Jealousy can be like a thunderstorm causing its own havoc, but also causing other emotions like anger, frustration or embarrassment just as the storm can bring about floods, tornadoes or fires.

"But how one acts in nature depends on the conditions. You want to go to high ground if there is a flash flood. But you want to hide in a cave if there's a tornado. The same is true with our emotions. How you deal with them requires you to know your emotions. As we train, the other instructors and I will occasionally ask you what emotion is strongest within you at that moment. You will answer immediately. If you do not, then the next emotion you feel will likely be anger or frustration as we make you do extra exercises."

"Are you saying that elves don’t get angry? They don’t lose their temper?" Eric asked

"I’ve always found that phrase interesting. I’ve only ever heard humans say that, but I swear it must have originated with dwarves. Who else would compare emotions to worked steel? Elves feel all the same emotions that any other sentient race feels, including anger. What you call losing one's temper is a physical expression of that emotion. However, it implies the loss of control as well. Elves certainly will physically express their anger when the situation calls for it. But we do so without losing control. You may express joy by jumping up and down. Excitement by clapping your hands. Empathy by hugging someone as Alexis did for me earlier. These are all physical expressions. And, as any parent will tell you, there’s a right time and place for all of them. The same is true with anger."

Khatar continued lecturing on emotions until supper time. As the group left the room to get food, Khatar stopped Regina, "What emotions are you feeling right now?"

"Hunger" was Regina’s snarky reply

"That is not an emotion."

"True, but you don’t let her eat; she gets angry," Reyna said as she walked by.

Khatar grinned, "Go and eat with your friends. This evening after dinner we train."