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* * *

Arda.

* * *

Drones were scattered all over Arda. Unlike their Earth counterparts, they had reactors and could operate for years without ever coming down to earth. Twenty-four Celestial Guardians watched over all of Arda. Mapping, studying, spying.

On the fifth of November, three thousand eighteen in the year three thousand eighteen of the third era, drone number sixteen saw smoke and rising currents of hot air in the distance. He immediately reported the sighting and went to take a look. A village in the Enedwaite area was burning and people were fleeing.

Bercy found this very strange - Mordor was at least a thousand kilometres away and orcs? Here?

The giant quadrocopter was being tested for reliability. The spare repulsor was ready to take the weight of the machine at any moment, but for now it wasn't needed. There was plenty of space inside the helicopter - on the upper deck there were cabins for all the participants of the trip. Now they, the participants, were sleeping sweetly under the rumble of the wind overboard. The quadrocopter changed its direction and headed for Enedwaite.

Hjarti was thinking hard about what kind of plague to set up for Sauron. From all accounts, it seemed impossible to think of an intrigue greater than the destruction of his favourite ring. It was possible to pull off such a trick with an individual emperor, but not with the enemy you were about to kill. Hjarti could not think of anything more effective than firing thermonuclear missiles and throwing the ring into a volcano. But he hasn't done it yet, for a few reasons. Chief among them is war. War is both a stimulus for development and a good time for social reform.

In the meantime, it was necessary to return to Russia as soon as possible - the flywheel of war production had gained momentum, social changes were in full swing and one could lose control of this process. If you went away for too long.

Hjarti left the pilot's seat and decided to fly to check the village. What if something strange could be found there? The orcs needed to be studied and examined as well as interrogated. Gandalf and Aragorn knew how to interrogate prisoners, as did Hjarti himself.

* * *

I decided not to wake anyone yet. The helicopter descended gently to the ground and I stepped out of the hatch, taking off immediately. I'm not taking anyone else on this mission, not even droids. I flew above the ground, taking a look at my surroundings. There's black smoke in the distance, so I darted for it.

- Bersie, where are they?

- Five kilometres strictly east of the village.

- Copy that.

I turned right and half a minute later I saw a group of Orcs leaving. They appeared to be dragging slaves, former villagers. Well, they'll have a sweet life now, you orc....

I dropped down in front of them and fired my repulsor into the centre of the orc horde. Orcs flew in different directions - the charge left a large crater in the ground. Then I acted, as they call it, with my bare hands. I descended to the ground and, approaching, punched two orcs in turn in the snot. They fell to the ground, unconscious. The next one was knocked out with a stun gun, switching it on while wearing gloves. The electricity-enhanced blows fell on the orcs in a steady stream. When I tried to counterattack, the orc hit me with his sword. The sword broke with a clang. I turned towards him and the orc fell back. Electrify him!

Who's the commander? I'll sort it out later. The orcs scattered quickly - I had to scramble around and shoot them in the legs. The prisoners were bound with chains, which I immediately removed from the Slaves. The slaves, by the way, were frightened villagers. Some with children, some children themselves. Lucky them! No, this war must end, and in the most radical way. Preferably by blowing Mordor away.

I took off my helmet.

- People, what's the problem? - I asked the freed men. They backed away from me.

- So where do we go back to? - asked one boy, about twelve years old.

Yeah. Dilemma. The village was burned down, and I can't help you.

- Your best bet is to go through Daruwait, into Gondor. I might be able to give you some supplies for the road.

***

Good deeds are free. I did give the refugees some supplies - tinned meat, clothes, cereals, some silver and gold, plus milk for the children. They all ate to their fill, were checked out by my doctor droid in the Maiden's medical bay, then got their rucksacks of supplies, fishing gear, and were sent away. I asked Bersie to send a strike drone over them to see if they were all right.

Aragorn was the first to wake up. He came downstairs, noticing the helicopter was on the ground. I was packing downstairs in the cargo hold. Aragorn asked:

- Hyarty? Are we on the ground?

- Aye, as you can see. A village was attacked by orcs during the night, so I flew - I saved fifty men, took prisoners ...

Aragorn nodded gravely:

- Where are they?

- Lying on the grass in front of the helicopter. The titan is guarding them. Now we will interrogate them, I want to know what kind of orcs have appeared in Enedvaita!

- Orcs in Anedvite? They must be from Eisengard.

Aragorn told me an interesting story Gandalf told him and helped me pack. It turns out that shortly before the events with the Hobbits began, Gandalf discovered that his comrade, Saruman, had betrayed everyone and defected to Mordor.

- So what are we waiting for? - I asked, "Let's go to Eisengard!

- Just like that? How many of us are there? A dozen.

- There's a lot more of us.

* * *

The clouds thickened over Eisengard. The place no longer looked like a beautiful sanctuary; the ancient fortress was more like Mordor. Darkness had settled there, and would not leave. Saruman was sitting in his chair when suddenly he heard a strange sound outside the walls of the fortress. Without paying much attention to it, he remained seated. But ten seconds later, the sound was repeated and the fortress shook. The wizard jumped up and went out onto a small balcony to see what was going on. However, what happened next made him think, and seriously. A huge humanoid figure, made of metal, was smashing the dam, which was breaking apart more and more every second. Two more of the same huge warriors were hitting the orcs living near Ortank. White glowing beams flew out of their hands, leaving no one in their wake as the orcs fell one by one. This was the first time Saruman the White had encountered such magic.

While the three Titans were smashing Eisengard, a ship was descending over the fortress of Ortank. Hjarti and Steve's steel boots descended to the top of the fortress, and as they did so Gandalf jumped down from the ramp. The wizard noticed:

- I wish my eyes had never seen this cursed place. How do we get down?

Hjarti, instead of answering, drew his sword and thrust it into the stone beneath his feet. The sword went into the stone as easily as butter. Easily carving a square, Hyarthi hid the sword and kicked the passage. A gap was formed.

- I'll go first, then Steve will help you down.

Hjarti jumped down with these words. Steve and Gandalf followed. The wizard held his staff and as soon as he was free, he turned to Hyarty:

- I know this place. Could you shine some light on it?

At the same moment, streaks of white diffused light lit up on Steve and Hyarty's armour, illuminating the entire room. A large, circular room.

Gandalf, however, looked around and led his friends in. They reached a staircase and descended it into a large hall. Here they were met by Saruman, who thrust his staff at them. Hyarty repelled the attack with his strength and launched his own - the jolt of force caused the fallen wizard to duck and hiss, grimacing in his face. Rogers, seeing the magical duel, flew aside and struck Saruman from the other side - he hit him simply, with his hand, but knocked the wizard's concentration and Saruman missed a blow from Gandalf, who threw the wizard back at the same moment. Saruman flew off to the balcony, where he braked against the railing, hitting his head.

Hjarti drew his sword and approached the unconscious wizard.

- The ignominious end of a traitor.

With those words, he severed the head of the great white wizard. The body was thrown from the balcony. Gandalf looked regretfully at where Saruman's body had flown:

- I knew him to be a good mage.

Hjarti sighed and took off his helmet, Steve followed suit. The helmets disappeared, disappearing into subspace and allowing Gandalf to see their faces. Hyarty was somehow indifferent, and so was Steve. Realising his train of thought, Hyarty explained:

- We've had our fair share of battles. More than one warlord has fallen at my hands, as well as Steve's. I'm sorry Saruman was like that... But he wasn't.

Steve nodded.

Meanwhile, the Blind Maiden corvette was hovering five hundred metres away from them. Two rifles peered out of the open ramp. Peggy watched through the scope for the destruction of Eisengard. The Titans were mowing down dozens of orcs, and then there was the flood... However, regularly Bersie would give her a tip on the enemy. Nearby, also in the scope, Arwen watched the enemies. She fired periodically, killing the orcs one by one. Pretty soon there were almost no orcs left.

Gandalf the Grey examined the palantir, a crystal ball, an artefact of communication from Mordor. The palantir glittered on its stand. Hyarthi examined the orb as well, but found nothing of interest.

- Well, well... let's search the tower, see if we can find anything of value here?

Gandalf looked at him reproachfully:

- We didn't come here for valuables.

- We killed the enemy. We have a right to see if we've got any spoils of war. Steve?

Rogers nodded:

- It's always been that way.

Hjarti and Steve, accompanied by Gandalf, began their inspection of the tower. They began by destroying the palantir - the cursed orb was mercilessly blown apart by a rifle shot.

* * *

Two hours later.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when they returned to the ship. Gandalf the grey looked much more pleased now. The Blind Maiden had picked up the trio, and Peggy and Arwen were meeting the sweep group. The girls glanced round at each other.

- What about Saruman? - Arwen asked.

- Dead," Gandalf answered her gruffly. Steve chimed in:

- Hjarti cut off his head, and that was that.

- Why have you been gone so long? - Peggy asked suspiciously.

- We were collecting trophies," they smiled, "and everybody gets a share, by the way. Come on, let's go and divide it properly.

The division of the spoils took place only in the evening. Gimli, unhappy that he had been kept out of the battle, was constantly indignant until the spoils were piled in front of him. When they did, he howled:

- "And you didn't take me with you? Oh, how could you do that?

A great multitude of gold, stones, and various things were piled on the floor of the cargo hold. Gandalf stood furthest away, as there was plenty of room. Pippin, the hobbit, had been accidentally swamped with gold and had been helped out by Aragorn and Gimli. The dwarf continued to wail.

Some time was spent sorting through the goodies. All the magical things went to Gandalf, including Saruman's staff and an unknown magic stone, and the gold, which was one thousand one hundred and forty-one kilograms and eleven grams, was melted down into new coins with the help of the Force and distributed to everyone equally. Almost a centner per person - what a joke. The gemstones were also divided.

* * *

The matter of Mordor had to be resolved. My plan was as simple as three rubles. Two missiles, ten megatons each, at Mordor, around the fatal mountain. After the explosions, we would fly a ship to the mountain and land a tactical landing force. There goes Gandalf, Frodo, Steve. Their mission is to drop the ring into the volcano.

Everyone was expecting something incredible. Actually, the ring should have been destroyed centuries ago, now... now Middle-earth was simply prevented from unfolding the whole chain of battles, betrayals, journeys, events... The Blind Maiden hovered a few kilometres above the mountains that separated Mordor from the rest of the world. The rocket roared away with a roar. The explosion was something everyone wanted to watch. The first warhead, fifty megatons, struck the base of the tower. The Eye of Sauron kept watching the unseen ship frozen in the sky, but it was not in his power to change the course of the thermonuclear reaction. The explosion, brighter than the sun, blinded everyone below, the radiation burning everything within a radius of a few kilometres. The humans, dwarves, hobbits, and elves crowded into the pilot's cabin gasped. The blast wave swept away everything in its path. Tens of thousands of orcs were reduced to ashes instantly. The tower was gone. It didn't collapse, it didn't fall on its side, nothing like that, it just wasn't there. A fast-moving misty haze drifted across the land of Mordor, hiding the traces of all the instantly slain Orcs. A second missile struck thirty kilometres away from the first, this time where the orcs had been created. The terrible force of the explosions consumed everything. Now it was only a matter of time. Hjarti turned to the crowded audience:

- Steve, Peggy, go get everyone ready. We're going to the volcano.

Everyone, jostling, began to slowly make their way out. Peggy handed Arwen's Robin rifle. The girls were to stand guard and wait for the ring to be destroyed. The corvette flew up to the volcano and hovered over the ledge, opening the ramp. Sixteen titan droids had already fenced off the area and were killing anyone who tried to approach the volcano, mostly orcs who hadn't been hit by the explosions.

The stench of the fatal mountain spread through the cargo bay. Steve and Gandalf went forward. Hjarti jumped out with Frodo in his arms. Frodo in turn held the ring tightly. As soon as Hjarti's feet touched the rock, he set the hobbit down and turned to the girls sitting on the ramp:

- "Wait for us here, and if anything happens, you can pick us up.

- All right," Peggy waved her hand at him, "make it quick....

Gandalf went into the bowels of the fatal mountain for the first time in his life. The place was, to put it bluntly, disgusting. A rock right above the volcano. The hobbit followed them all. In a minute they reached the edge. Frodo reached for the ring and looked at it one last time. The ring was beautiful - it was beyond him to destroy such a beautiful thing..., but Frodo found the strength to throw it away. With one last gleam over the abyss, the ring of power began to fall into the lava. Inexorably, relentlessly. Gandalf looked down and recoiled, the unbearable heat from below scorching his beard. Steve flew off the platform and took a picture of them just in case - it was a good shot. However, the volcano reacted to the destruction of the ring in its own way. Clumps of lava flew out of the vent, almost hitting Rogers. He hurried back:

- I think the eruption is beginning.

- Come on," Frodo was the first to run towards the exit. The corvette was not far away, and the Ring Brotherhood jumped into the open ramp. The ship took off at once, and Peggy and Arwen helped the others inside.

It was fantastic, but the volcano was erupting. Streams of lava flowed down its slopes, and Mordor... a black cloud of volcanic ash hovered over Mordor. Gandalf watched the eruption with incredible relief and satisfaction.