For Your Failed Unrequited Love

Why is this…

Felix stared at the necklace in his hand without moving. The crystal was crafted exquisitely with the zodiac sign of October. It looked like the constellation necklace that Lucy purchased at the stall on the day of the festival. 

Why is this on Adrian’s bed?

Felix was confused as he lifted his head and looked at his brother’s back. He blankly fiddled with the necklace; thousands of thoughts ran through his mind.

Maybe it’s just a similar necklace? Constellation themed necklaces are common, or someone else gave it to him. We weren’t the only ones who bought things at the stand.

He recalled, quelling the suspicion rising from the corner of his mind.

Yes, necklaces like this are common. It’s something I can find anywhere in the market. So, no need to worry.

“Adrian,” Felix called his brother. He needed to check it himself, but his heart was beating anxiously.

Adrian looked back while organizing his clothes. “Hmm?”

Felix showed him the necklace on his opened palm. “Where did you get this?”

“Ah.” Adrian rushed over and picked up the necklace resting on Felix’s palm. He hurriedly put the necklace in a small box on the desk and closed the lid. “Sorry. The person asked me to keep it a secret,” he replied, a bit troubled.

Person? Secret?

Felix’s heart sank at his response. It was an ambiguous answer and made him afraid to ask more.

Adrian opened the desk drawer and pushed the box containing the necklace into its depth, oblivious to his twin’s reaction. Felix looked at him, eyes empty. After a while, he slowly got up from Adrian’s bed and tumbled over to his bed, stretching helplessly over it.

Adrian looked at him, confused. Felix was acting strange. He was flopping around like a child on his bed just before, but now he lay still like a dead fish on a chopping board. “What’s wrong?”

Felix did not respond to his question. 

Adrian looked at him and muttered, “Is it puberty?”

* * *

The next day.

Felix, who was returning to the dormitory after the morning class, sat down on a nearby bench for a while. Then he pressed his thumb against his temple. The headache he had felt since waking up in the morning never went away.

After a while, he lowered his hand and stared blankly at the campus. Autumn flowers bloom in every flowerbed against a backdrop of a clear blue sky and vibrantly colored trees.

No beautiful scenery caught his eye. A single thought dominated his mind and bothered him deeply. The fact he had forgotten because he got so close to Lucy and was so happy just seeing her smile.

The fact that Lucy liked Adrian, not him.

Like a dam, which had begun to crack once, could not withstand the rushing water and gradually collapsed, the negative thoughts that kept coming to his head could not easily be shaken off, and he gradually fell into deep agony.

It was painful to imagine Lucy presenting the necklace to Adrian.

The more he shook it off, the more specific and vivid the scenes that appeared in his head, making him sad. He closed his eyes tightly and swept his face down with his dry hand. It was then that someone tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“Lucy!” Felix shouted, surprised, as he turned his head.

Lucy stood with her light brown hair neatly braided and hanging over her shoulder. She smiled gently as she looked at Felix, waiting for his usual cheeky smile. However, her bright smile gradually faded when Felix was just staring at her, still surprised. After hesitating for a while due to his unresponsiveness, she turned to the bench.

“Felix-sunbae,” she said, sitting next to him. “Actually, I’ve been following you from over there.” She pointed to the entrance of the academy’s main building. “I was walking quite close. Didn’t you notice?”

Felix couldn’t even respond properly and only let out a strange “Oh….” 

Seeing Lucy’s face, he was overcome with both joy and pain. The two emotions were mixed together, so instead of his usual playful smile on his face, only an awkward smile appeared.

“Are you sick?” Lucy asked, worried.

“No, I’m fine,” Felix replied, shaking his head.

Not too far away, a group of students passed by, making a lot of noise. Lucy stood up as if conscious of their gaze and said, “If it’s hard to talk now, shall we talk about it later?”

“It’s not like that.” Felix sat her back down. His unusual mood had Lucy lowered her head with a sullen expression. An awkward air circulated around them, and Lucy fiddled with her hands on her lap.

Calm down, Felix! Lucy came up first and talked to you. What are you doing?

He pushed himself. He felt pathetic that he was unable to control his mood and attitude only because of a necklace.

“These days … I think I was able to diligently prepare for the exam thanks to you.” Felix finally got the words out of his mouth after a few moments of deliberation.

Lucy raised her head with a slightly brighter expression at his words. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve never worked so hard before.”

“If there is something you don’t know while studying, just ask me. I’m preparing for the third-grade subjects in advance, too… I’ll answer you as much as possible.” Lucy turned to face the front, embarrassed. “Ah! Come to think of it, and there’s Adrian-sunbae too,” she said as if she had just remembered. “Since you share the same room anyway, you can ask him. I also received his help from time to time, and he was kind enough to explain it to me.”

Felix was heartbroken when his younger brother’s name came out, and his stomach began to hurt as if it were being squeezed. He nodded. “Adrian…Yeah… That’s right.”

“I think Adrian-sunbae is really great. He placed first in all subjects for all three years, and he was ranked first overall, but there are some subjects he did not achieve satisfactory results.” Lucy sang Adrian praises.

Various emotions simmered in Felix’s heart when Lucy praised Adrian. “For swordsmanship, I was number one.” Such words popped out of his mouth. 

Lucy opened her eyes wide when he suddenly revealed his ranking. Felix looked down in embarrassment, thinking that maybe he was more talkative than Colin or Noel.

“Oh, come to think of it, you got the highest score for swordsmanship,” Lucy said as she remembered his previous report card she had seen before.

“…Yes, if you have any difficulties, please tell me. I’ll teach you.”

“Thank you. But I don’t take swordsmanship… I’m not well coordinated.”

With those words, the conversation ended abruptly. The two sat silently, looking at the wide campus for a moment. Lucy’s feet kept swinging under the bench.

“…Umm, I think it would be okay to learn for self-defense,” Lucy said after a moment of silence. “I can’t swing it coolly but learning how to hold a dagger is not bad.”

“Really? Okay, I’ll set a date and teach you properly.” Felix tried to answer in his usual tone and forced a smile on his face. Holding down the wretched emotions rising in his head.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know that Lucy liked Adrian. But what can he do? After meeting Lucy, all the emotions he felt were beyond his control. All he could do was hide his ugly feelings as much as possible and manage his expressions.

“Sunbae, I’m actually here because I have something to say,” Lucy said, looking apologetic. “I don’t think we can study together this week.”

“Why?” Felix raised his head at the unexpected news.

“Mrs. Erin fell off the ladder yesterday and injured her arm. There was no one to work in the library, so the book club members decided to take turns manning the return desk.”

Felix, who was already dejected, felt even more so at Lucy’s explanation. 

“I’m sorry, sunbae. Let’s study again next week. I’m here to tell you this.”

“…it can’t be helped,” Felix replied, unable to hide his disappointment.

“Yeah… I’ll get going then.”

“Wait a minute.” Felix hurriedly grabbed Lucy’s wrist when she got up from the bench. However, despite holding someone rather desperately, he was unable to say what he wanted to say. “Is the neck…”

“Neck?”

“Necklace…” Felix, unable to continue his words, had a strangely distorted expression. He released his hold on Lucy. “It’s nothing,” he said indifferently.

In the end, he sent Lucy away without even asking about her constellation necklace. In fact, Felix was afraid. He was afraid that Lucy really gave Adrian the necklace. He was afraid she would say “yes” calmly. So, he avoided getting an answer. He couldn’t even ask the question.

Felix silently looked at Lucy’s back as she walked away. Every corner of his heart ached unbearably as it seemed that one day, she would be so far away from him, forever.