Fight. Level. Survive.

Chapter 43 - Hokey Pokey

Charles was excited. He so rarely had new people to play with, and anytime he did find someone, they always ended up running away or falling asleep before he was finished playing with them.

But today was obviously his lucky day! He had two new friends that wanted to play with him. He wasn’t sure where they had come from, but he was happy nevertheless.

These friends seemed quite strange. They were already looking at him the way people did after he started playing with them, but he hadn’t done anything yet, which was very odd.

He lowered his head in a bow, letting them know he was eager to play, he let out a purr, but they just stood there staring at him.

He took a few steps over to them and smiled widely at them. One of them said something, and suddenly he felt a sharp pain run down his body. Ouch! That was not how he wanted to play! He was the one who was supposed to be opening them up, not the other way around! They obviously didn’t know how to play this game properly, but not to worry, Charles would be happy to help them understand. He quite liked it when his friends in the past needed to be taught, so he expected this would still be fun!

Before he could start explaining the rules, one of the friends held a toy out for Charles to see. Charles took a good look, wondering what the toy could be for. It was black and shiny and was making loud noises that Charles didn’t really like. It also made his body tickle in a not-nice way. Charles was getting annoyed at these friends for not letting him show them how to play. He lowered his head and performed one of his favourite tricks. He concentrated, and his horn popped right off and shot right into one of the friends! Yay, the friends seemed to like the gift that Charles had given him. He made noises that Charles remembered other friends had made too! He liked those noises a lot!

He liked one of the friends, but the one with the shiny black toy was getting on his nerves; Charles just wanted to play, but this friend wasn’t acting much like a friend at all. All he was doing was playing with that silly black toy that made Charles tickle in a not-nice way! And now! He was standing in front of the other friend, stopping Charles from playing with him anymore.

Charles didn’t understand! He was a good Unicorn and was good at playing! Why was this friend being so mean? All his friends in the past screamed with happiness when he played with them, so why was this friend not giving Charles a chance?

Charles was a really good player, he made friends, made lots and lots of nice red juice and made them make lots of happy noises! He even removed his last friend’s legs so he wouldn’t ever have to stop playing and go home. Eventually, he had fallen asleep, but Charles was sure he would wake up sometime soon! Though people did seem to sleep for a really, really long time!

Charles decided that this friend was not a friend at all! He would make this not friend go away so he could play with the nice friend!

Suddenly the friend that was a nice friend stood up, but to Charles’ shock, all of the nice red juice was all gone and so was the gift Charles had given him! This was unfair! All Charles wanted was to play. He was sure that this must be the not friend’s fault. Charles was going to say bye-bye to the not friend, and then the nice friend and Charles could play together.

Before Charles could say bye-bye the nice friends said some people’s words and started running towards Charles very fast. Good! The nice friend was leaving the not-nice friend and coming over to play with Charles.

Charles was very happy he was going to make the nice friend make a lot of the red juice and make a lot of the nice happy noises people made. His sharp head stick was regrown now, and so, as the nice friend ran toward Charles, Charles started running toward him too, wanting to play with his new friend for as long as he could before the friend fell asleep or ran away from Charles as all his friends did.

This new friend looked like he wasn’t tired at all! Charles hoped he would be able to play for a long, long time! This was definitely going to be the best day ever!

==================================

Mason charged towards the Unicorn, dagger in hand and Magic Missiles ready to shoot off when needed. When he had made it halfway, the Unicorn lowered his head and charged towards him like a bull trying to impale a matador on its horns,

Mason quickly sidestepped and rolled away, narrowly avoiding the Unicorn's charge. He scrambled back to his feet, readying his dagger and Magic Missiles once again. The Unicorn snorted and pawed the ground as if daring Mason to come at him again.

Undeterred, Mason took a breath and charged forward, his dagger gleaming in the sunslight. The Unicorn lowered his head and charged again, but this time, Mason was ready. He dodged to the side and stabbed his dagger into the Unicorn, using its momentum to pull the dagger through its body.

The Unicorn let out a piercing cry of pain and reared up, thrashing its hooves wildly. One hoof kicked into Mason’s face making him stagger backwards and leaving his face looking like it had collapsed into itself. Dizzy but still able to see, he managed to dodge when the Unicorn spun around, using its horn to attempt to decapitate him.

While this was happening, Alan had been using his finger to draw something in the dirt. There was a golden flash of light, and Alan was standing there holding what Mason recognised as a shotgun. Being British, Mason didn’t know a whole lot about guns, but he maintained a working knowledge through his gaming. He knew enough to know that the shotgun in Alan’s hand was for sure not one that could be found on Earth. It was almost as big as the man holding it, though he didn’t seem to be struggling to wield the weapon. It glowed faintly with a golden aura. The man ran over and stood next to Mason.

“Dude, this is supposed to be way more powerful. It should draw energy from any local Gods” Mason turned to stop him far too late, but Alan ignored him. “Do you guys not have those here?”

Even the Unicorn paused momentarily when it heard the word, Alan took the chance to shoot the distracted Monster with the shotgun he had just conjured, knocking it to the floor.

Once the shooting stopped, Mason grabbed him by the shoulders and exclaimed, “Fuck man, you just made this so much worse… The G word is taboo here!!”

Alan, who didn’t seem phased in the slightest, nonchalantly replied, “What G word? God? Nah, we’re good. Gods can’t hear or see anything I do… trust me, it’s more of a curse than a gift.”

Mason frowned, but nothing seemed to be happening, so he turned his attention back to the fight. The Unicorn was getting back to its feet after the shotgun blast had knocked it a dozen or so feet back.

The already hideous beast was now covered in holes that were not only oozing the Monster’s black blood but also had smoke coming from them. Its HP bar was over halfway empty, but its regeneration, while slow, was slowly filling it back up.

“How many more shots do you have with that gun?”

“Just two. Then I have to re-summon it.”

“Ok, if you get any clear shots, take them.”

The Unicorn looked pissed. Its eyes were narrowed into slits, staring right at Alan as if it were trying to kill him with the sheer force of its will. It started acting erratically. It put one of its hooves forward, then brought it back then, shook it before it repeated the gesture, and then did the same with its back leg. It then spun in a circle.

It took him a moment, but when it did click, Mason’s jaw dropped. “Did… did it… just do the… hokey pokey?

Alan squinted at the Unicorn who was repeating the moves, “You know… I think it might be. Well, shit, that’s not something you see every day.”

The two of them were so entranced by the creature’s odd behaviour that they didn’t notice that as its hooves moved, there were slight distortions in the air.

When the Unicorn finally seemed to be finished dancing, the floor beneath it glowed red. It stepped back, and from the glowing earth crawled a much smaller unicorn, first one, then a second, then a third. They just kept coming.

Once fully emerged, they moved fast. The first couple of mini Unicorns dashed towards them before Mason could use Identify on them. When they closed the distance, they each leapt into the air so they were within arms reach of the two men. Then they promptly exploded into a rainbow-coloured gas that floated in the air and burned when it made contact with Masons and Alan’s skin.

The Mini Unicorns finally stopped pouring out of the ground. At a guess, Mason would say there were maybe a hundred of the little shits. Apart from the few that had exploded, they gathered around the original Unicorn, all staring in their direction with wide, dreadfully terrifying smiles on each of their faces.

Mason and Alan stood frozen, unsure of what to do next. Without any discernable reason, all the Mini Unicorns shot off, running at them. Mason shot a Magic missile which killed several of them right away, but there were just so many. Alan shot more as they jumped towards them, and Mason used his dagger to cut a few more out of the air. The ones that they didn’t manage to kill exploded when they got near enough, some left behind the rainbow gas, but others shot small bits of razor-sharp horn in all directions like frag grenades.

Alan had gone back to using his pistol, even producing a second one so he could shoot the mini Unicorns twice as fast. Mason was cleaving through the little fuckers using a combination of his dagger and his Magic Missiles. There were a lot of them, but they were really easy to kill.

=========================================

Charles had been angry at his friends, who were now both not nice friends. Now Charles was having the time of his life. He had used a super secret Unicorn dance his mother had shown him long ago to summon so many new friends who were going to help him teach his human friends how they were supposed to play!

This was very exciting! The rainbows his small friends made were so pretty and had a lovely effect on his people’s friends. The people’s friends said bye-bye to his small friends really fast, but it would be okay. There were lots and lots of them. Oh, where did one of the people’s friends go? He had been right there! Oh no! One of his new friends had run away. Why did this always happen?!

Charles heard a noise behind him. Maybe the friend had wanted to play with him and not the smaller friends! He turned to look, but there was nothing there. The last things Charles felt were a sharp pain at the back of his head and then sadness when he realised that one of his friends had snuck up behind him and put him to sleep.