Fate Grand Order: Summoner Of Fun

"Okay, so, you strap yourself onto this and then enter this pod, right?" Zeteo asked Mash who nodded as he entered the hi-tech pod and strapped himself in with Tom coiled around his neck like a scarf and Fou on his head.

"Yes Senior but, are you sure about taking Tom and Fou with you?" She asked concerned as he shrugged "I have no idea, see you in a while Mash!" He said as he closed the pod and it lit up with a blue light.

[ Commencing Rayshift in 3....2....1....]

A bright light flashes as Mash was dumbfounded, she didn't even have time to react before the trio disappeared.

"Ah?"

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In a lush green forest filled with well, trees, Zeteo stood with Tom standing near him and Fou on his shoulder as the trio looked around impressed with the reality of the area.

"Meow?" Tom asked with bright eyes as he licked his lips and drooled while looking at a lake nearby with fish jumping in it.

"Yeah, no. I think those are fake." He said "Fou!" Fou also agreed as Tom seemed disbelieving and looked at him with wide, pleading eyes as he clasped his paws together.

"Let's summon a Servant first, then we can Fish." He said as Tom looked reluctant and bit his tongue but nodded as his shoulders slumped.

"Er, How'd the summoning go again?" He asked confused as Tom shrugged "Oh well, when in doubt, call AION!" He said.

[Wow, you really do only remember me when you need me] Aion said dryly as it sighed [ Fine, repeat after me ] it said after seeing Zeteo's pleading look "Got it!"

"I hereby declare.

Your body shall serve under me.

My will shall be your will.

Submit to my call thou of the Throne

If you will submit to this will...

Then answer my call!"

He chanted as a red light lit up the area as a tall man with his hair tied in a ponytail holding a red spear appeared covered in shadows, his eyes shining red.

[ Master Candidate 47 Has Summoned Lancer. ] A voice rang out in his mind, it was mechanical unlike Aion's making him understand that it was the AI that Mash had told him about.

"Lancer, lend me your spear for a bit." Zeteo asked as Lancer obeyed and gave the long spear to Zeteo "Here Tom, you can use this as a harpoon to fish" He gave it to Tom who had bright eyes.

Zeteo suddenly shivered as he faced Lancer's gaze, although emotionless and mechanical, he swore that he could see unwillingness and resentment which, he promptly ignored.

"Anyways, Tom, the Spear should be pretty good, isn't it?" He asked Tom who tried swinging the spear a few time then nodded in satisfaction as he kept it on his shoulders and walked towards the lake.

"....If you feel so bad, just make another spear or something." He complained looking at the Shadow Servant who seemed to keep looking at the Spear, on hearing Zeteo's command, Lancer materialized another Spear, making all three of them freeze and look at the new spear, the trio, including Lancer turned in unison to see Tom still holding a Spear and then looked at Lancer to see him holding another spear.

"....Heh" The smile that broke out on Zeteo's face could be called pure evil as Fou and even Lancer who has no emotions trembled.

40 minutes later

Zeteo looked in satisfaction at the hundreds if not thousands of Spear copies he made with a wide grin.

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"He's abusing a BUG!"

"....No one said he can't abuse BUGs"

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[ All Masters have summoned Servants, begin Battle! ] The voice rang out.

"Tom!" He called Tom who was disappointed when he tried to bite the fish he had caught, only to have it be turned into data fragments.

"....meow..." Tom said with low energy. "If we win, I'll treat you to more Fried Fish" He promised as Tom froze then shook his head again "..... I'll personally cook for you?" He offered as Tom seemed to be injected with new life as he jumped up and nodded.

"Now, we need a launcher and a detector." He said as Fou patted his shoulder "Fou! Fou fou." He said "Huh? You can detect any and all humans in an area without issue? To the perfect co-ordinate too? Nice! Good job Fou!" He high-fived Fou.

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"Wait, it can do that?!"

".... Apparantly so..."

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"Now, a launcher....." He muttered as Tom patted his leg and pointed at a Cannon on the side "Huh, Nice! Good job Tom!" He said as the 4 of them moved to the cannon

[ Wait, Wait, where'd the Cannon come from?! Can someone please tell me now?! ] Aion yelled in confusion and was ignored by Zeteo.

"Fou, point at a direction with enemies." He said as he made Lancer direct the cannon with nearly 20 spears lodged into its barrel.

"Fou!"

"Alright! Lancer! 3'O Clock at a 98 degree angle!" He ordered as Lancer did as told.

"Everyone! Salute!" He said as he and Fou did a military salute with Tom lighting the Cannon with a burning torch.

[... I'm not even going to ask anymore but, where'd the Torch even come from?!] Aion asked in a crying voice.

*BOOM*

Watching the large amount of spears being shot, all of them nodded in satisfaction and then reloaded the ammo.

"Fou!"

"7'O Clock! 68 Degree angle!"

"Meow!"

.

.

.

.

"Meow!" Tom saluted alongside Zeteo and Fou as the last of their spears were launched.

Less than 3 minutes later, they heard a notification.

[...All other Masters have been eliminated.....Master Candidate 47 has acquired Victory.]

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"WHERE'D HE EVEN GET THE CANNON FROM?!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Yeah, isn't that normal?"

".....Eh?"

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{ Master Candidate 32 POV }

'Hello everyone, I'm Akira, a Master Candidate chosen by Chaldea' He introduced himself 'Today, we're all doing a Battle Royale simulation and well, a new Master Candidate has also joined. Most of us feel pity for the newbie who only has around 2 weeks left to adjust.'

'But anyways, it's not about him today, it's about me. I somehow managed to summon Saber! Yeah! I can definitely get a high score in today's simulation!' he cheered himself up as Saber, a man wearing silver armour with greyish hair covered by shadows.

"Huh? What's that in the sky? Birds?" He asked no one in particular as he looked at the sky to see nearly hundreds of dots as he focused his eyes to see...SPEARS?!

He panicked as he looked at the sky, already covered with numerous spears as he began running away "Saber! Run!" He yelled as Saber also followed him, the both of them ran for their lives.

This wasn't just a rain of spears, No, it was something done by the Devil, A Storm of Spears.

The spears finally landed, he was lucky, somehow dodging most of the spears with minimum injury but, Saber wasn't as lucky.

'I watched Saber get impaled, half his body turned into a porcupine with spears for spikes, I could see Horror in eyes that should have been lifeless...I lost him, I LOST SABER!'.

"What happened then, Akira? Tell us"

'Then, I was impaled by even more spears that appeared out of nowhere.' he said as he finally burst into tears in the infirmary.

"There, there, you don't have to worry, you aren't the only one today. Almost all of the Masters in today's training experienced this." Roman said as he patted him on the shoulder.

"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU COMFORT A PATIENT!"

"OW! I'M SORRY ALICE!"

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