Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

"Kazuma, what happened?"

"Yo Megumin, sorry, it seems like I was uhh… abducted?"

"Really?"

"I think she just wants me to make a teleportation point. Look, this is a perfect chance for me to groom, I mean, befriend a royalty you know? I'll humor her for a bit, we'll meet up in the dream and talk about this some more okay?"

"I'll book a trip to a nice hotel near the castle. You stay there as long as you can."

"That's a good idea actually, okay, you go here to the castle and I'll visit you tomorrow,"

"Welcome back Princess Iris,"

A bunch of maid welcomed us the moment we stepped into the hallways of the castle. I took note of the fact that they didn't question me being here and simply welcomed us. It's either I'm not her first victim or that this castle has the worst security ever.

The former is more likely but something tells me it's actually the latter.

We were led to a luxurious room at the top of the castle. Claire ran off once we get there, saying that there's something she needs to report. This leaves me alone with Rain and Princess Iris.

The princess whispered something to Rain.

"Satou Kazuma-sama, welcome to the castle. You're a guest, so please make yourself comfortable. Just treat this place as your home and rest easy. This is now your room… Well then, please continue with your tales of adventure! The princess said."

"Ano, Rain, can you follow me for a bit," I walked out of the room and to the hallway. "What happened to the rest of her victims?"

Rain narrowed her eyes after hearing that. "Victims?"

"You mean this is the first time she abducted an adventurer?"

"Wh-what? Abduction? No, you're an honored guest Kazuma sama… We're not abducting you,"

I looked around the castle for a moment. "Welp, I'm gonna teleport back, see ya!"

"Wait!" Rain grabbed my hands. "Please, Kazuma sama, this is… the princess, she has lived a sheltered life, she's very obedient and shy, this is the first time I saw her doing something willful like this. Can you please let it slide?"

Just how sheltered is she anyway!? I wanna speak with the king! Who is in charge of her growth and education!? This can't be good for her mental health, if this keeps up she's gonna…

End up like Darkness…

No wait, really? Is this it? Is this how Darkness is made? Maybe? No? Perhaps?

"I've already notified my party members, I'll be staying here for a while. Please take care of me,"

Rain sighed in relief. "Thank you, Kazuma sama, I will now leave you alone with the princess," Rain walked out of the room, leaving me and Iris in the fancy room.

Okay, you want to protect your princess so you lock her in the castle, got it. But you also let your precious princess and a complete stranger, spend a night alone inside a room.

Can you see the problem here!?

"Kazuma," Iris took my hand and pulled me into the room. "Let's go, tell me more about your adventures,"

I relented and we made ourselves comfortable in the room. I sat on the carpeted floor with Iris sitting in front of me with wide eyes. Her stare kind of remind me of Liz for some reason.

"Alright, first of all, you shouldn't be doing this."

"Sorry…"

"Second of all, I will tell you the story. Only this time, I am going to tell you everything, even parts that you might not like to hear,"

"Don't worry, I like hearing stories,"

"You wouldn't like some of these… But since you've gone this far for stories, I should probably tell you more than just stories. What I'm going to tell you is the truth and the reality that's been kept away from you. If you feel disturbed or you don't want to know, I can stop and even erase your memories if you want."

Iris gulped a little before nodding. "Tell me… Kazuma sama…"

With that, I repeated the stories of my adventures. I didn't leave out anything, I told her how I was forced to sleep in the stables at the beginning and how most adventurers started out that way.

I told her about all the hardships and life threatening situations every adventurers face at the beginning at their journey. I told her about the monster called the Rookie Killer and the adventurer team that was almost wiped out by it.

Then I told her about the demon lord Verdia and how he literally almost killed Lalatina. I put an emphasis that if Aqua and only Aqua wasn't around, she would be dead right now. I told her that many adventurers died and sacrificed themselves to fight monsters and protect what's precious to them.

Then I told her about the harsh winter. How many adventurers were forced to save up their money due to the shortage of easy missions. How many adventurers almost resorted to thievery just to get by everyday. How many lie awake shivering at night, unable to afford a proper housing.

I told her about the winter shogun incident, when, even with Aqua around, I might not return from dead. The pain Megumin felt after having killed her own friend. The panic everyone felt after my body disappeared without a trace.

After that, I told her about the battle with the destroyer. When an entire city went into panic and many lives were threatened. I told her about all the brave adventurers who'd fight tooth and nail even without support from the kingdom.

Then I told her about the choice I was forced to make. Between my beloved town and a random place. I told her of how ironic it is for an adventurer like myself to be responsible for the lives of many.

Then I told her about my arrest. How I was accused of terrorism and working with demon king. I told her about my unjust trial and how the plaintiff was using black magic. How Lalatina was forced to use her family name to save me.

At the end of it, Iris was quiet. She gazed on the carpet below her and her hands curled up into a fist. Her breathing was calm and steady, but she didn't look calm at all.

"Excuse me… Your Highness, the paperwork is done. Now, Kazuma-dono is an official guest and can stay in the castle without worries…"

Iris looked at Claire who just stopped by and simply nodded. The bodyguard then entered the room and looked at me suspiciously.

"Your highness, you look troubled, are you bothered by this plebeian's stories? Should I chase him out?"

"Please don't refer to Kazuma as 'plebeian', you know of his accomplishments, he deserves more respect,"

Claire who's probably never been told off by the princess just stood the stiffly. She shot me a suspicious look before sitting down next to me.

"Then I'm going to join, princess, I am also curious of what he's been telling you."

I gave Claire a sheepish grin.

"But I just ran out of stories…"

The bodyguard clicked her tongue before looking at Iris. She's still quiet but look a little more calmer than before.

"Your highness, is there any part of his story that bothers you?"

Iris looked down after hearing that.

"It's alright, I'm simply learning the reality from him… Kazuma, he, told me more about the state of my own kingdom than everyone in this castle has ever taught me in years."

"Aww, thanks Iris," I said.

Claire glared at me.

"You're just a mere adventurer! You shall address her as 'Princess'! And what's with the tone you're taking toward her!?"

"Claire!" Iris snapped at her bodyguard and the woman gasped a little. "This isn't a formal setting, we're having a friendly conversation, there is no use to uphold status and nobility."

"But princess, you can't let this lowly adventurer get over his head just because he gets to tell you some tall tales,"

"This 'lowly adventurer' was blessed by three goddess, known as the hero of Axel, the most powerful adventurer in the kingdom, and has defeated six out of eight of the demon king generals. If you want to be so formal, then we are referring to him as Satou sama."

Claire lowered her head and nodded a little. "I'm sorry… Kazuma dono, please continue…"

"But I ran out of stories… I mean, I don't think you'd want to hear about that time I accidentally bathed together with Lady Lalatina right?"

Iris's widened after hearing that. "You what!? T-tell me! What happened? How did you bathe together with Lady Lalatina?"

"No, you are not telling her," Claire turned to the princess. "Your highness, that is not a story for your consumption. Kazuma dono has exhausted all his stories, so why don't we call it a day?"

"But I want to hear it! I've learned so much things I don't know about Lalatina from him! I thought I knew her but apparently I was wrong," Iris blushed a little. "And… their unique relationship, I guess…"

This time, even Claire couldn't hold her curiosity. She turned towards me in slight confusion. "What's your relationship with Lady Dustiness?"

"Ahh… Darkness is going to murder me…" I muttered before finally relenting.

After that, I told her about the more… indecent part of my adventures. From the shenanigans with the succubus cafe (not mentioning the location though), the secret behind the log cabin near the keele dungeon, Darkness's quirk, and even Alcanretia's Hidden Paradise.

Throughout the story, Claire would rage at me about telling too much details and Iris would urge me to go on. Though, I do keep it as child friendly as possible, focusing on the humor and comedy rather than the perverted stuff.

"Then he read mine and Megumin's mind. He threatened to tell everyone about the log cabin and I thought, I'm gonna have to kill this guy, ASAP."

Iris laughed at that, both her hands hugging a pillow. Beside her, Claire just sighed at my immature story.

"Then, then," Iris urged on. "Did you kill it in time?"

"Well, the archdevil then possessed Darkness's body. It claims that resisting him will cause an extreme pain. Well, you know how Darkness is like to pain, right? The crusader was overjoyed after the Archdevil possessed her."

Even Claire couldn't help but face palm after hearing that. "Lalatina dono… Just what the hell is wrong with you?"

"After that, you know what happened. We teleported them to the kill zone and blast them with the Explosion Spell and Sacred High Exorcism. Darkness is much tougher than Adamantite so she survived, the demon? Well he's supposed to be dead."

"You mean he's not dead?"

"No, he showed up again and humiliates me and all my teammates near a crowded street," I sighed and looked up. "Thankfully he's on my side, cuz a guy who can read minds are definitely my worst enemy."

Half way through the stories, a broadcast appeared out of nowhere.

"Demon King's army alert, Demon King's army alert! The knight corps have already mobilized. All adventurers please maintain the peace and security within the city and stop any monsters from sneaking in. All high-level adventurers please come forth to assist!"

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Is that going to be a problem?" I asked Claire.

Claire quickly stood up and brandished her sword. "Don't trouble yourself Kazuma dono, I will deal with it. In the meantime, I trust you to protect the princess," she said before quickly walking out of the room.

"Even this place is in danger… Aah, what are those guys from Japan doing anyway?"

"Japan?" Iris asked. "Wait… isn't that where Mitsurugi san hailed from? A mysterious faraway country?"

I shook my head. "No, it's a faraway world, not country. Gods sent those people here to try and defeat the demon king, but… well, judging by the sound of it, those people aren't doing their job."

"Do you also came from Japan?"

"Yes, and…" I looked down a little. "I'd love to tell you that I'm as awesome as I am right now back in Japan but… I… I don't have much stories to tell, I wasted my whole life locking myself up in my room, refusing to explore the world…"

"Oh, sorry for asking…"

"You know what? What the hell, let's talk about Japan, I'll tell you everything I know about my world."

---

"We've successfully suppressed the assault of the Demon King's army. Thank you for your assistance, adventurers. We'll reward everyone who took part in the emergency quest. Please head to the adventurer's guild counter…"

I was in the middle of telling Iris about the schools in Japan when that broadcast appeared again. It hasn't been an hour since the attack so I'm guessing this isn't really that much of a threat.

"Ne, Iris, why don't you build a school here in the capital?"

"But the demon king army… We can't focus our fund to Academics. We need to prepare a lot of funds to compensate those who participated in the demon king's raid."

I clicked my tongue and thought back to the Crimson Demon Village. How do they do it anyway? Is it because everyone there are overpowered beyond reason? Does it have something to do with their Chuunibyou? Or…

Oh, it's because the Crimson Demons don't wish to get paid for destroying the demon king army… Huh, this is complicated…

It seems that Iris mistook my thought as that of concern.

"Thank you for telling me so many interesting things. Rain will send you back to your town tomorrow… May I trouble you to tell Lalatina that I'm sorry for bringing you to this place…?"

I shook my head. "No, I think I'm going to stay here for a bit, I've done enough with Axel so I'm gonna see what I can do for the capital. My party members are already on their way to the capital, they're going to stay in a hotel nearby."

"Really?" Iris smiled brightly after hearing that. "You'd stay here, Kazuma?"

"Of course," I gently pet her head. "I still have some stories and stuff to teach you princess,"

"Thank you Kazuma… You remind me of my Onii sama, I mean, even royal siblings will become strangers after a while… I'm just happy you'd stay here longer, even if it's only temporarily."

"Thank you Iris, by the way, can you repeat that last line?"

"I'm happy you'd stay here?"

"No, the one before that, the one with your brother,"

"You remind me of my Onii sama,"

"Say it again, more intimately this time,"

Iris looked at me, with her wide innocent eyes. She spoke the killer line that brought me here to this world. The same one Paradox said to change my fate.

"Onii chan…"