Fairy Tail: I Don't Want to Be the Guild Master

A chaotic day ended in an anticlimactic but necessary way.

Laxus no longer had the will or strength to fight. After that slap from the Master, he was likely to sleep soundly for a good while, whether he wanted to or not.

The destruction of the cathedral would be logged and compensated once the Harvest Festival was over.

Of course, it wasn't just the church that suffered. Numerous shops, stalls, and homes throughout Magnolia had been caught in the crossfire. But for now, those concerns would have to wait.

The first priority was getting back to the guild and checking on everyone's condition. Only then would they decide whether to delay the Magic Parade.

Makarov originally planned to head straight to the mayor to explain the panic caused by the blinding light of Fairy Law.

But after stepping outside, he realized there was no panic at all.

In fact, a few cheerful townsfolk even approached to ask if the display had been part of a grand festival surprise. Some wondered aloud whether Fairy Tail was hosting another spectacular event.

Everyone froze for a moment, then nodded awkwardly, saying it had all been a... technical rehearsal.

The guild's reputation for "eccentric mayhem" had unexpectedly saved the day.

While passersby gawked and gossiped, the group slowly made their way back to the guild hall.

Gray carried Laxus over his shoulder, while Juvia helped support a weary Erza.

Erza wanted to ask Makarov about Mystogan's true identity, but she knew now wasn't the right time.

Lucy, of course, was practically glued to Mira, peppering her with questions about what had happened. Natsu grumbled about the fight ending too soon, but Cana swung an arm around his neck and told him to pipe down.

Gajeel, though a little disgruntled himself, kept to the back. He wasn't about to join in the group chatter, not that he'd admit it even if he wanted to.

Walking beside the Master, Rhodes noticed something off.

"Master," he said quietly, "have you had Porlyusica check your condition yet?"

Makarov broke into a nervous sweat on the spot. "A-Ah, well... y-you see... I was just about to—right! I should probably go apologize to the mayor first!"

Rhodes grabbed him by the collar and halted him mid-step. "Why do you sound so guilty?"

Cana chimed in, hands behind her head. "Because the geezer snuck out. Porlyusica told him to stay in bed, and we had to drag him back last time."

Rhodes just gave a knowing sigh. "Oh... I see."

He didn't let go.

Master flailed helplessly, caught red-handed like a naughty kid.

"You old fool!"

Whack!

Before Makarov could even set foot in the guild hall properly, a broom came flying out of nowhere and smacked him square in the face, sending him tumbling across the room. He slammed into the wall with a loud thud and slowly slid down.

Normally, anyone who struck the master would've been dogpiled by furious wizards in seconds.

But not this time.

It was Granny Porlyusica, after all.

Everyone pretended not to see a thing, casually returning to their drinks, repairs, or conversations. Some even joked about using the moment as an excuse to crack open a new barrel of ale.

The tension from the day was finally starting to ease.

Of course, nearly 60 or 70 guild members were now walking around with bandages, slings, or black eyes.

Some pretended they were totally fine.

Others moaned dramatically as they clutched their wounds, whether real or exaggerated.

Even before Rhodes and the others returned, many had already started awkwardly apologizing to one another, with a few spontaneous brawls breaking out as their way of "making up."

Those who hadn't gotten a chance to fight earlier due to being petrified or immobilized by spells were now back to normal.

As for the Thunder God Tribe, they were still unconscious in the infirmary. Only Freed had regained consciousness, and Elfman had taken it upon himself to stay by their side.

Just like Mira had said, despite his gruffness, Elfman was incredibly caring.

When Gray finally stepped inside carrying Laxus, several glares turned in his direction, not at Gray, of course, but at the man on his back.

Laxus had disrupted the Harvest Festival, endangered guildmates, and caused far more damage than most enemies ever had. No one could pretend they weren't angry.

But with Laxus unconscious, no one could say anything directly.

Porlyusica, visibly fed up with all the chaos, finally snapped.

"Enough already! You lot, stop moving around like headless chickens," she barked, waving her hand dismissively. Then she jabbed a finger at Gray. "You, lay that idiot down on the bed and get my medicine box. Now."

Though grumbling as always, Porlyusica still moved quickly, her hands surprisingly gentle for someone so cranky. She had already heard about the mess Laxus caused in the guild. If she hadn't watched that boy grow up with her own eyes, she wouldn't have bothered treating him at all.

"The old one's an idiot, and the young one's no better. Honestly, none of you are ever trouble-free. That's why I can't stand this stupid guild..."

Despite her complaints, she methodically checked over Rhodes, Mira, and Erza, applying the correct ointments and writing out precise dosages with a grumble.

In truth, these three were in better shape than most. Compared to the guildmates still unconscious from friendly fire, they were practically unscathed.

Erza accepted her medicine and bandages with a nod. "We can handle the rest ourselves. Please focus on the Master... and Laxus."

Porlyusica nodded, seeing no need to waste her time on minor bruises.

Erza turned to Mira and Rhodes. "Alright, Mira, Rhodes, let's treat each other's wounds and get ready for the Magic Parade."

Rhodes didn't hesitate. He wrapped an arm around Mira with a grin. "We'll form a team of two. Erza, you go help Natsu and Gajeel. Natsu's hands are hopeless, and Gajeel's still new, he'll need guidance."

Mira giggled. "Sounds good."

"That makes sense," Erza agreed with her usual seriousness. "Forget Natsu, Happy can help him. But Gajeel... yeah, he needs someone to keep an eye on him."

And so, while the kind-hearted Rhodes and the sweet, harmless Mira tended to each other's wounds, the guild slowly returned to its usual rhythm.

Mira dabbed gently at the bruises on Rhodes's cheek with a medicated cotton ball, her brows knit in concern. "Why is your face so banged up?"

Rhodes didn't even flinch. "Friendly punches," he said cheerfully. "Besides, I'm sure Laxus's face looks worse."

"Still hurts to look at."

"He was probably just jealous of how handsome I am."

He smiled slyly at her and added, "You know, I heard that if your face is swollen, a kiss makes it heal faster."

Mira gave him a skeptical side glance. "You 'heard' that, huh? You heard it from yourself, didn't you?"

"Hey, I'm just repeating what I heard. Now you've heard it too. Come on, help a wounded man out."

"You can help yourself," she said, amused, and reached for a strip of gauze.

She folded it neatly, dabbed it with ointment, then taped it over the bruise on his cheek.

There were more clinical ways to bandage a face, of course, but that would've looked awful. This, at least, was cute.

"If you get yourself hurt like this again, I'll wrap you just like this," Mira said with a wink. "Got it?"

"Maybe next time, even if your injury is the size of a freckle, I'll wrap your whole head like a mummy."

"You wouldn't dare!"

Rhodes narrowed his eyes dramatically. "Or worse... you'll make me ugly."

Mira glanced around. Seeing that no one was watching, she leaned forward and gently kissed the gauze she'd just placed on his cheek.

It wasn't soft at all. In fact, it stung a bit. And from a healer's point of view, it was probably unhygienic.

But Rhodes couldn't stop grinning.

"Alright, I'll remember that," he said warmly, taking the bandage from her hands. "Your turn."

He carefully bandaged Mira's arm, working in silence for a moment. When he finished, he looked her up and down.

"Why do you still look so beautiful, even with bruises and bandages?"

Mira laughed and gave him a light tap. "Alright, enough with the sweet talk. We've got people to save."

"Who?" Rhodes asked, feigning confusion.

Mira pointed behind him. "Of course it's Gajeel."

Somehow, Erza had managed to wrap several layers of bandages tightly around Gajeel's neck. So tightly, in fact, that his face was turning a little purple. His left foot was tied to his left hand, leaving him in a pretzel-like position that, despite being an Iron Dragon Slayer, still showcased impressive flexibility.

"Perfect. It was a little tricky, but I've got all the injured parts bandaged," Erza said proudly. "You rest up now. I'll go check if anyone else needs help."

Gajeel tried to speak, but the bandages around his neck were too tight. He silently groaned, thinking Erza had done more damage than Laxus ever could.

In the end, Levy couldn't bear to see him like that anymore and carefully cut the bandages. Erza's knots were too perfect to untie.

Rhodes was about to stand when Mira grabbed him by the wrist.

"What's up?"

Mira leaned in close, whispering by his ear. "Do you think Levy and Gajeel might… you know…?"

"Impossible?" Rhodes replied, sensing where this was going. Mira had a habit of pairing up anyone who exchanged more than three words.

"Why not? Didn't you notice them both blushing a little? And…"

Mira went on listing a series of oddly specific reasons. Some weren't too kind to Jet and Droy, but Rhodes couldn't help thinking some of them made weird sense.

"Instead of theorizing about Levy, how about we guess who Erza would match with best?" Rhodes said with a smirk.

That lit Mira up instantly. "Oh, that's easy! The most suspicious ones are Natsu and Gray! They've been her 'Erza faction' since forever. I even heard they used to bathe together! And don't forget, Simon clearly had feelings for her too…"

"Wait, what do you mean 'Erza faction'?"

Mira paused, slightly embarrassed. "Back when we were kids, I used to fight with Erza a lot. So, I called anyone who was close to her part of the 'Erza faction' and banned Elfman from playing with them."

Rhodes burst into laughter. "So does that mean I'm part of the 'Mira Jane faction' now?"

"You were in Erza's faction too!" Mira huffed. "You teamed up with her, shared a room, and she almost dragged you into a bath!"

Rhodes grabbed Mira's hand gently and pushed back her fingers one by one. "I've abandoned the shadows and embraced the light. I hereby pledge my loyalty to the Mirajane faction. Let's team up, room together, and even bathe together."

Mira rolled her eyes. "Dream on."

"Hmph." Rhodes smirked. "Just a matter of time."

...

Despite all the earlier chaos, most of the guild members were still in good shape. So, the Magic Parade was still happening.

Fairy Tail wizards were something else. In the morning, they were at each other's throats. By nightfall, they were ready to march.

The Thunder God Tribe, however, weren't so lucky. Though they'd regained consciousness, sitting up was about all they could manage.

Bickslow, already the physically weakest, had taken a clean hit from Erza and needed a proper rest. Evergreen and Freed had been absolutely thrashed.

At the time, both Rhodes and Mira had been using the red buff.

Laxus had also woken up, though he hadn't left the infirmary. He lay quietly on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His right leg was in a cast, suspended by a sling, and a crutch rested beside the bed for when he could walk again.

Makarov had already spoken with him privately, explaining the punishment that would be formally announced the next day.

Laxus listened without argument. He had nothing to say, he simply needed time to process everything.

The rest of the guild was unaware of what had transpired in the infirmary. They were busy with preparations for the magic parade.

When Makarov finally emerged, he was immediately met with teasing.

"You're too slow, Master. Any later and we would've left without you!" someone shouted.

Makarov chuckled. "You idiots. What kind of magic parade would leave its guild master behind? Come on, check the costumes one more time!"

"It's all been checked already," someone grumbled.

Juvia fidgeted nervously. "Um… can Juvia really participate?"

Lucy also raised a hand shyly. "Me too. I'm still new to the guild…"

"Of course you can," said Rhodes, smiling. "This parade is for everyone in the guild. If you can move, you're part of it. I even performed last year."

"Huh? What did you perform, Mr. Rhodes?" Lucy asked curiously.

Before Rhodes could answer, Natsu cut in. "Oh, he did a whole act of drilling through walls...gah!"

Rhode's fist landed squarely on Natsu's face. With a grin, he said, "Just a bit of ordinary magic."

"Definitely not ordinary," Lucy muttered, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You jerk, Rhodes! Want to fight again?!" Natsu shouted, leaping at him.

Rhodes didn't bother replying. Instead, he raised his fists with a grin. If they were going to fight, then might as well go all out. Friends hit each other, it was practically tradition.

The scuffle quickly turned into a chaotic brawl. Punches flew. Laughs echoed. Of course, the collateral damage spread.

Lucy, standing too close, caught a stray blow and clutched her forehead with a silent tear. "Why do these things always happen to me...?"

From beside her, Juvia whispered with a pout, "That's what you get for trying to seduce Gray-sama," and then vanished like mist.

"I didn't seduce anyone!" Lucy groaned, edging away from the battlefield.

"Stop it already, you two!" Erza called out.

"Rhodes, behave," Mira added with her usual sweet smile, just before she and Erza both stepped in using less-than-peaceful methods.

Rhodes stared as Mira's and Erza's fists landed simultaneously on Natsu's head.

With two loud bonks, Natsu collapsed, sporting a fresh pair of cartoonish bumps.

"Oops," Mira said, looking at Rhode with an innocent smile. "I must've slipped."

"Right." Rhodes suddenly felt just a bit guilty. He made a mental note to treat Natsu to some fire-grilled meat later.

"All right, it's about time. Everyone, get into position!"

"Ohhhh!!!"

Cheers erupted as the sound of firecrackers rang out across Magnolia.

Brilliant fireworks shot into the night sky, painting it with vivid bursts of color. The music began, the lights dazzled, and people from all over the city stopped in their tracks to watch.

After a few minutes of stunning pyrotechnics, the Fairy Tail Magic Parade burst onto the streets.

Just like last year, the floats were lively and extravagant, alternating between dance troupes, music ensembles, and mages showcasing unique magic acts.

To her great surprise and joy, Lucy found herself standing at the center of the lead float, dancing cheerfully with Levy and Bisca. They performed a cheer routine they didn't get the chance to show during the beauty contest.

Gray, dressed as a prince, paired with Juvia in a princess gown. Together, they conjured a glimmering ice castle mid-parade, drawing awe and applause from the crowd.

Laughter, cheers, and music filled the air. Fairy Tail had once again shown the world why it was the most beloved guild in all of Fiore.

...

Bonus Chap