Fairy Tail: I Don't Want to Be the Guild Master

Fortunately, the reporter was scheduled to arrive tomorrow, not today, so they still had time to clean up the mess.

Following the age-old guild rule of "who breaks it, cleans it", the Master led by example and got to work alongside the rest. Meanwhile, Rhodes was hunched over the counter, scribbling rapidly through paperwork. He had somehow ended up in charge of all the guild's clerical duties.

A few minutes later, he glanced up at the old man, who was oddly cheerful despite the chaos. Rhodes narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Was this your plan all along, old man?"

Later that evening, Rhodes left to collect the newly tailored clothes and changed into his crisp, formal suit. His official title of store manager had taken effect, but naturally, everyone in Fairy Tail preferred to call him the bartender.

"Bartender" or not, Rhodes didn't mind shaking a cocktail glass with a bit of flair.

If nothing else, he was an expert at mixing the bare minimum. Half a glass of 300-jewel whiskey, half a glass of 200-jewel soda, swirl them together, slap a fancy name on it, and sell it for 10,000 jewels.

Let them scream about the price. He called it gourmet mark-up.

That night, Rhodes stood behind the bar in his sharp new outfit, gently swirling a glass of red wine. He posed like a pro for thirty minutes straight, and only Mira complimented him on how handsome he looked.

That left him both proud and a little disappointed.

Still, thanks to the combined efforts of the usual mischief-makers, the guild was finally put back together again.

Though when the big day arrived, it was still as noisy as ever.

Many local residents, those who had grown attached to Fairy Tail's unique charm, began frequenting the tavern just to enjoy the chaos. As long as nobody crossed the line, it was perfectly acceptable to shout, argue, or even start a playful scuffle.

If you got punched, well, you could punch back. That was the Fairy Tail way.

No one had to worry about being bullied with magic either. In fact, the rebuilt tavern was somehow even rowdier than before.

This was partially the Master's fault.

He had summoned every available member back to the guild for the interview just to make the place feel full and lively.

Even Natsu was called in, after all, the name of the Fire Dragon Slayer still carried weight.

Unfortunately, trouble came with the package. At that moment, Natsu was standing on a table, breakdancing awkwardly and letting out the occasional puff of fire.

vijeeter had jumped onto a nearby table, challenging him to a duel of weird moves. Elfman, Warren, Nab, and a few others surrounded them, cheering like children at a festival.

"Master…" Rhodes started, walking over carefully. 

He wasn't sure how to phrase it delicately.

He had seen how hopeful the old man had been that morning, how proudly he had arrived wearing his coat emblazoned with the Holy Cross insignia, even in this unbearable summer heat.

They had spent all of yesterday prepping for the interview, only for the guild to return to complete chaos.

Makarov stared blankly at the ceiling for a long while, then finally let out a long sigh. "Forget it. This is Fairy Tail, after all."

Mira giggled nearby. "It's more fun this way."

Makarov turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "So that's why you're not scolding them?"

"Ehehe… maybe just a little," Mira said innocently, trying to dodge the blame.

"Well then, you'd better make up for it later by performing a show. Try to save face for the guild."

"What? How can you just spring that on me? I wasn't prepared at all!"

"I don't care," Makarov said, crossing his arms like a stubborn child. "You're still performing."

Mira looked helplessly at Rhodes. "What do you think I should do?"

Rhodes answered without thinking, "Smash a boulder with your chest? Crush a skull with your bare hands?"

Makarov choked on air.

"Would anyone normal tell their girlfriend to perform something like that?"

But Rhodes didn't see a problem, because Mira could actually do it.

Mira, suppressing a laugh, turned to the Master and grinned. "Alright then. You lie down and place the rocks. I'll smash them myself."

"That's fine," Rhodes said confidently. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. Smashing a couple of stones won't be a problem."

Seeing that Master Makarov's face was about to turn pale from stress, Mira finally gave in. She let out a gentle sigh and said, "Alright, just tell me what you actually want me to perform."

"I'm not really thinking about what I want to see," Rhodes muttered. Then, after a pause, he suggested, "Why not sing something? I don't think I've heard you sing in a while."

Mira's eyes brightened. "Okay."

The guild had more than enough members who could play instruments. If needed, they could easily form two or three bands on the spot.

"Didn't you say there was an interview today? Why does the guild still look like a wreck?"

At last, someone finally seemed concerned about the interview.

"Lucy, you're a little late today... Wait, did you dress up for this?"

It was hard not to notice. Lucy's hair had been carefully styled, her outfit was a little more refined than usual, and she was even wearing a matching necklace and bracelet. If Mira had come dressed like that, Rhodes would have lifted her off her feet, showered her with praise, and kissed her right on the forehead.

But this was Lucy, so he simply asked with polite curiosity.

"Well, yeah," Lucy said, puffing up proudly. "I need to make a good impression before I debut across the continent!"

Her energy was infectious, though it faded quickly as she looked around the guild. "But... it feels like I'm the only one who cares."

"Hey, look at it positively," Rhodes said. "Since no one else is trying to stand out, your performance will draw even more attention."

Lucy lit up again. "You're right!"

Positive girls really were easy to cheer up.

Rhodes answered Lucy's questions about his past interview experience, though his eyes kept drifting to where Mira was gathering musicians.

He had already finished everything on his to-do list yesterday, so he was mostly free today. If Master Makarov hadn't specifically asked him to stay and wait for the reporters, he would've been reading in the library by now.

"You're looking great today, Lucy," a voice called out.

Erza had just arrived, a little later than usual. Instead of her waitress uniform, she wore her familiar armor.

"Erza, weren't you going to be one of the waitresses today?" Lucy asked.

At the mention of it, Erza looked a bit down. "My uniform got ruined yesterday. It couldn't be completely repaired, even with sewing magic, so I went back to armor."

Lucy tried to cheer her up. "Oh no... Can't you ask Mira for a replacement? I'm pretty sure there are extras stored away."

"No," Erza replied with a firm shake of her head. "It wouldn't be the same. That one had... meaning."

Lucy blinked, then nodded. "Wait! Erza, your armor looks a little different from the usual one, doesn't it?"

Erza smiled brightly. "Yes! This is a brand-new model crafted by Heart Kreuz. I've been waiting for it for a long time. What do you think?"

"It looks great!" Lucy exclaimed.

Rhodes gave a thumbs up in agreement.

The way Lucy caught onto Erza's feelings so quickly showed how well she understood her guildmate. She really did take good care of her friends.

"Cool, cool—COOL~~~~!"

A sudden, energetic shout cut through the air as a stranger came sliding across the guild floor on his knees.

No one was sure what kind of material his pants were made of, but somehow, he managed to glide all the way from the front door to the counter without slowing down.

The man had wild blond hair shaped into a cone at the top, sunglasses resting on his forehead, and a camera slung across his chest. His entire face radiated excitement.

"Is that Sorcerer's ace reporter?" Rhodes asked, narrowing his eyes. He vaguely remembered seeing the guy last year, though they hadn't spoken. That hairstyle was unforgettable.

The man immediately began snapping photos of Erza. "The Titania! The real Erza Scarlet! So cool!"

"Hello," Erza greeted him politely. "I didn't get the chance to properly prepare, sorry about that."

"No~~ problem! What we want is the most natural presentation possible!" the man replied while scribbling in a small notebook. "If you don't mind, can I ask a few questions?"

"Of course," Erza said with a nod.

Lucy stepped forward, her big eyes sparkling with hope. "Hello! I'm Erza's friend, Lucy! I just joined the guild this year—"

But the reporter's focus was glued to Erza. He didn't even seem to hear Lucy speak.

"How many sets of armor can you change into?"

"Over a hundred. I've honestly lost count."

"COOL!!! Which one is your favorite?"

"The bunny girl outfit."

"Bunny, bunny, bunny... So COOL! Then, may I ask—"

Lucy tried to interject again, but there wasn't a single gap for her to speak.

Worse still, while continuing his questions, the reporter led Erza to a nearby table to chat in peace, completely forgetting anyone else existed.

When the interview finally ended and Erza stood up, Lucy approached with a smile that was equal parts sweet and hopeful.

"COOL! You must be the Fairy Strategist!" Jason suddenly exclaimed, snapping a photo of her. "May I interview you too?"

Lucy opened her mouth, excited at last, but Jason's gaze slipped right past her as he ran up to Rhodes instead.

Rhodes chuckled and poured him a drink. "Sure, go ahead. But don't forget to interview our newest member later."

"Mr. Rhodes~" Lucy whispered, touched. So thoughtful... No wonder he was able to win Mirajane's heart.

"No problem!" Jason agreed enthusiastically. "Excuse me, is the rumor about you and Miss Mirajane true?"

"Yes. We've been dating for almost five months now," Rhodes answered calmly.

If he dared deny it, he knew he wouldn't leave the guild in one piece.

"COOL!"

...

Bonus Chapter @400

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