Fabre in Sacheon’s Tang

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Stolen Goods

With rosy cheeks, Hua Eun sat on the futon, her gaze fixed on the ground.

– Squeeze···.

– Squee···.

“Ugh···.”

Every time the soft sounds of Seol-i and Bin came from the bushes, Hua Eun’s cheeks flushed red, only to settle into awkwardness again.

Embarrassed, she fidgeted with her fingers, unable to meet my eyes.

Once the sounds died down, she cautiously broke the silence with a trembling voice.

“Uh, uh… If that’s the case, um… why were they fighting?”

Her assumption was that Bin had bitten Seol-i’s nape, and Seol-i was screaming and running around, using that as evidence that they’d been squabbling.

But honestly, that’s just how lizards mate.

When a female is ready to lay eggs and a male is in heat, their romantic courtship doesn’t start off sweet but begins with the male overpowering the female!

The mating scene could seem a bit rough, as the male bites the female on the cheek, neck, or tail to keep her still—yeah, that’s how lizards do it!

Hua Eun’s impression might have been skewed; ordinarily, the overpowering process is quiet and doesn’t draw attention.

If a female lizard is unprepared or inexperienced when the male tries to dominate her, she may resist fiercely. To an uninformed observer, it seems like a desperate fight—likely exactly what Hua Eun witnessed.

To clarify the misunderstanding, I explained, “They’re not fighting; this is part of mating! The male has to overpower the female so the mating process can begin.”

“M-m-m-m-mating!?”

Hua Eun stammered, looking like she was about to faint from embarrassment.

For someone like her, a wealthy lady, this was all way too scandalous!

She was already sensitive to lewd topics, and witnessing the sacred act of animal reproduction, compounded with an explanation, was too much!

“Yes, no need for worry! Speaking of which, it seems I won’t be able to go to the Martial Forest Alliance.”

I wanted to tease her more, but thinking she might collapse from the rising embarrassment, I switched the topic to our plan for visiting the Martial Forest Alliance.

“Y-you can’t go? Why not?”

Hua Eun looked at me with confusion, as though questioning what her mating and our visit to the alliance had to do with one another.

But there was a legitimate reason.

Though it varies by species, most lizards’ mating and egg-laying periods range from about two weeks to two months.

Seol-i and Bin are spirit creatures and might differ slightly, but if we head to the Martial Forest Alliance now, they could potentially lay eggs while we’re traveling.

Given their nature, they’d probably want to follow me, and you can imagine what would happen if they laid eggs on the road!

The problem is it’s a species I’ve never raised before, and there’s no telling if they lay eggs in sands, decomposing soil, or carry them around!

What if I end up catching them laying eggs right on a roadside?

The chance of successful hatching is slim!

Hence, I won’t be able to join the journey to the Martial Forest Alliance.

With various nesting environments, I could barely manage to guarantee hatching, and I can absolutely not let it happen on the street.

“Since they mated today, Seol-i might start laying eggs in about two weeks to a month. If we head to the Martial Forest Alliance, they’ll likely want to come along, and we can’t go.”

“They’ll likely lay their eggs during our trip, and without knowing the right hatching conditions, we could miss the critical hatching period, leading to dead eggs.”

“I understand. Then, I’ll stay behind… Ah, but since I’ve never collected lizard eggs before, So-ryong should stay! So, I must prepare a detailed report on the venom of the Mountain Viper for Grandfather.”

Nodding, Hua Eun appeared ready to stay back, thinking I should go.

However, as she concluded, it became more evident I had to stay since I was the only one in the Tang Clan with experience collecting lizard eggs.

It wouldn’t help anyone else staying behind!

Well, I guess I’ll have to prepare a PowerPoint presentation detailing the toxicology after all.

‘I’ll make it visually captivating, won’t I? Ah, Seol noona might feel a bit disappointed,’ I thought.

Seol noona was all excited about embarking on a journey across the Central Plains, but this was unavoidable.

It’s a breeder’s fate after all.

Once the offspring start arriving, you can forget traveling altogether for a breeder!

“When shall I break the news?”

“I think it would be best to share it during dinner, over tea, with this delightful news.”

“Got it, So-ryong.”

I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement at the thought of Seol-i and Bin having adorable babies.

Imagine the large eyes, the smiley mouths, and tiny tails!

Lizard hatchlings are just too cute!

*

That evening during dinner at the Tang Clan.

Typically, after finishing the meal, we would have tea and engage in conversation. As soon as the conversations began, I brought up the fact that it seemed I wouldn’t be able to join the visit to the Martial Forest Alliance.

“Grandfather, actually, I won’t be able to attend this time at the Martial Forest Alliance.”

“You can’t go? Why’s that? Is it because of Bin? Didn’t Bin say to keep searching for the clan’s warriors and report back?

It would be best for you to explain about the Mountain Viper’s venom… But unless the child goes out and never returns home, it’s not a good idea to leave home empty either, huh? Shouldn’t someone be here to meet them when they do? Sounds unavoidable.”

“So, you think So-ryong can’t go? Why? Didn’t you promise to go to the Martial Forest Alliance with me?”

Mandok God nodded as if he understood, but when I relayed the news that I couldn’t attend, Seol noona looked back at me with disappointment.

Although warriors followed from the Southern Barbarian Beast Palace, it appeared she wasn’t keen on going alone to the Martial Forest Alliance.

Originally, the plan was to stop by the Tang Clan to prepare samples and immediately head to the Martial Forest Alliance with Seol noona.

It had been delayed due to Bin going missing for a few days, but it wouldn’t have been weird to set off right away.

In response to Seol noona’s question, Hua Eun cautiously interjected.

“W-well, we think we might become grandparents… Regardless, I’m going to follow along anyway, sister.”

“Grandfather? Grandmother?”

“Wait, what are you saying?”

“Hua Eun, what do you mean?”

Mandok God and Seol noona exchanged bewildered glances.

Even the in-laws couldn’t follow the conversation, blinking in confusion.

While one might consider a daughter who hasn’t even married to be termed a ‘mother,’ there’s absolutely no way she would be a ‘grandmother’ even with accelerated circumstances!

– Squeeze?

– Squee?

Setting Seol-i and Bin on the table to explain why we couldn’t go, the two critters tilted their heads cutely, while Hua Eun looked at me with blushing cheeks.

Clearly, she was too shy to say it herself and wanted me to do the talking.

[Um, can you just do it for So-ryong?]

After slightly nodding at the incoming signal, I explained to the adults.

“Actually, Seol-i and Bin paired up today, and they mated for the first time. So, I believe they’ll lay eggs in around two weeks to two months. If we leave now, there’s a high chance we’ll end up catching them laying eggs on the road…”

“Wah! Really!?”

“Oh! So those two are going to be parents!?”

“Is it true, our son-in-law!?”

The delight on the faces of my in-laws at the realization that Seol-i and Bin would become parents was palpable.

“Yes, father-in-law.”

“Unbelievable! Just barely starting the Venomous Insect Garden, and already discovering two types of venom to deal with the Blood Cult, along with the first offspring of spirit creatures! This is remarkable! Soon, the Four Heavenly Houses will be overflowing with venomous creatures!”

“Haha, I worried when one of the children went missing, but it’s worth good news that has come in!”

“How do we celebrate this?”

The mother-in-law, having no experience in raising exotic poisonous animals, inquired what was an appropriate way to celebrate.

Seol noona smiled in response to her question.

“Shall we share our methods from the Southern Barbarian Beast Palace?”

“Oh, right! You have more experience raising animals, so you’ll surely have plenty of ideas? So, how does it go?”

“Well, at the Southern Barbarian Beast Palace…”

That night, a red lantern unexpectedly appeared before my quarters.

*

The one-most excited about the possibility of Seol-i and Bin having babies was none other than Seol noona.

She kept pestering me about whether she could get a hatchling, saying how well the name ‘Seol-Pyoh’ and Seol-i matched perfectly.

So, when I broke the news that they might lay eggs, she was the happiest one around.

Late that night, she trotted over with Hua Eun to my quarters to make her reservation for one of the hatchlings.

She pulled me close and asked with a wonderfully cute tone, “So-ryong, when Seol-i and Bin’s babies come, you will give me one, right? Right?”

Breeders have an unspoken rule.

Absolutely no freebies.

Even if a specimen costs a million won, if you give it away based on relationships, there’s a high chance its value drops to zero at that moment.

Just think about it: you shell out a million won for an exotic lizard; would you treat it carelessly or abandon it?

But if you received a million-won item for free from a friend, its perceived value plummets, making it easy to let go of when trouble arises.

That’s why breeders never give away for free.

Though family wanting a freebie is a different tale.

I certainly could not tell Seol noona to fork over a million won!

Moreover, she was from the Southern Barbarian Beast Palace, a paradise for all creatures in the Central Plains.

If I simply gave her a free one, it wouldn’t ever end up discarded or mistreated.

So, I nodded my agreement to her request.

Besides, she had already done a lot for me: teaching me martial arts and imparting hefty allowances, all having originated from their place.

What I received most importantly wasn’t something one could buy but rather having a real family!

“I don’t know if they’ll chase the young away or form a family, but if they do chase one away, I’ll give it to you. Conversely, if they bond, I can’t do much.”

While agreeing, I couldn’t provide a definitive answer since lizards are widely varied in behavior.

Some lay eggs and abandon them, while others raise their young; thus, I could only hedge my bets with Seol noona.

Then again, being the one who takes care of exotic animals, she nodded in understanding.

“Of course! I can’t just ask for a family to be torn apart! If they do end up growing up, I can’t ask for them!”

Just as we wrapped up our plans regarding the hatchlings, an unexpected noise came from the window as I approached to close it.

– Swish!

“Watch out!”

– Clunk!

Just as I was smiling, Seol noona suddenly leaped in front of me, grabbing something.

She then looked out the window and shouted, “Who’s there!?”

A single arrow had landed in Seol noona’s hands.

Hua Eun quickly dashed outside to see what had happened, whereupon a flying dagger circled her.

– Peew!

Soon, the elders and warriors of the clan rushed into the courtyard with a ruckus, and flames started rising from the Tang Clan’s internal area.

Even Cho and Yo-hwa emerged in front of my quarters!

“Intruders! Search for them!”

The warriors fanned out, looking for the intruder, and my father-in-law quickly asked Hua Eun, his expression a burst of anger.

“What exactly is going on, Hua Eun!?”

“An arrow flew into So-ryong’s quarters!”

“What!? How dare anyone shoot an arrow inside the gates of our Tang Clan! More so, into my son-in-law’s quarters! Find them! We must retrieve them!”

With that, chaos erupted as the clamor over the arrow that had flown into the inner quarter of the direct family had everyone on high alert.

We had barely de-escalated the chaos from Bin missing when the furious father-in-law shouted and lit more torches as more warriors began to disperse in search of the shooter.

While Sister noona examined the arrow, shaking it in confusion, she asked doubtfully, “But it’s tied to a note and a jujube fruit?”

“Jujube!?”

“Jujube?!”

“Sister, are you talking about the fruit!?”

In surprise at seeing jujubes tied, everyone turned to stare at Seol noona’s hands, which indeed held two jujubes and a note.

Father-in-law’s furious expression instantly shifted as he ordered the warriors, “W-wait! Everybody! Don’t cause any further chaos. Disperse quickly!”

“Yes, Clan Head.”

Wait, my son-in-law almost got shot by an arrow, and this is the reaction?

Glancing at Hua Eun, who looked equally bewildered, I found her relaying the arrow to my father-in-law, saying, “So-ryong might not know, but jujube symbolizes speed and timeliness in the Central Plains.”

“Timeliness?”

“Yes! That’s why it’s often used as a token by Tuje, the God Thief.”

“Tuje… a thief, you say?”

“Well, yes… a thief, but a noble one, perhaps? Uh, you met the Beggar Emperor, right? Tuje belongs to the sect of the Five Emperors, not the Three Emperors, but the supreme one from the Five Emperors.”

‘Kind of like a noble bandit?’

I initially found it a bit hard to swallow hearing ‘thief,’ but nodding in understanding, I recognized it was a formidable figure.

“But why would such a person send a note?”

My expression was one of confusion, wondering why a thief would write to our home, and Hua Eun took it further.

“Lord Tuje has mastered the ‘One-Man Army’ technique; apparently, a code exists within that sect.”

“A code?”

“Yes! ‘You cannot receive any item unless you steal something first.’ So, if there’s something we need from the Gu-Daemun sect or our families, he sends this note to forewarn us he may steal it in exchange for providing high-value assistance later. So when Tuje’s note comes through, that’s when families prepare items to be easily stolen.”

“What’s that silly code supposed to be…?”

What absurd code is it to say you can’t receive anything without plundering?

My incredulity made my father-in-law chuckle.

“Well, stealing something doesn’t solely mean loss. It implies you can gain the assistance of one of the Five Emperors.”

In other words, if you give away one item, you could recruit a strong warrior; it’s not so bad, huh?

But Hua Eun was worried as she spoke with concern, “If Lord Tuje is coming, we should tell the kids. We can’t risk them getting into a confrontation with him.”

She meant we had to prevent Yo-hwa and Cho from questioning anyone who roams at night! Whoever it is could get hurt!

As if agreeing, both critters made their noises.

– Prrt.

– Keish!

Nodding at their response, Hua Eun turned to my father-in-law and asked, “But father, what item would Lord Tuje be looking to steal?”

Curious about what item could be the target, my father-in-law’s expression suddenly turned bewildered as he looked toward me.

His mouth opened to utter an unbelievable line.

“Uh, Tuje intends to steal So-ryong…”

“Excuse me!?”

Everyone stared at the ridiculous claim that I was the item of interest for thievery!

In the thick silence, Hua Eun’s soft voice broke through.

“Hey kids? Mommy kinda misspoke earlier; from now on, when you see anyone at night, feel free to ask who they are!”