Evil Awe-Inspiring

“The Vietnamese! They damn touched my nest! It seems that last month’s incident upset them!” Uncle 7 is sighing, “I’m stuck in the house. If it wasn’t this kid, I’d be finished.” After a pause, he adds, “This kid seems to have a great dexterity, but unfortunately he doesn’t know how to play the gun.”

 “Well.” Papa 8 is knocking on the table with his left hand, which has only three fingers. The seemingly peaceful eyes are turning around me twice. To be honest, his eyes seem peaceful, but it really stays on you makes people feel very uncomfortable! It’s a kind of vision that seems to be able to see people through, a kind of examination!

 “What did 7 say your name just now? Well, Chen Yang?”

 I nod: “Just call me Little 5.”

 “Well, you settle down here first.” Papa 8 is smiling, then he is saying, “You see, I only have eight fingers, so people outside here all call me Eight Fingers. If you like, just call me Papa 8.”

 He has a gentle smile and a slight sense of refinement, which makes people feel like spring breeze.

 But this makes me feel uncomfortable.

 Because of his style, his temperament and his manner are very similar to one person!

 Juan!

 Papa 8 presses a button on the table, immediately the back door opens, two men come in.

 “You push Uncle 7 out to rest and ask the doctor to come to check for him.” He speaks in a calm tone.

 Uncle 7 wants to say something, but he looks at Papa 8 and does not open his mouth, just patting me on the shoulder. Then two men come respectfully and push him out. I see that this Papa 8 has something to say to me.

 I look at him unblinkly. He’s smiling, pointing to a chair next: “Sit down.”

 Then he is saying to me politely: “Wait a minute first.”

 Then he presses the button again. This time, a man comes in with the clean work uniform. Papa 8 says quickly: “Uncle 7 had an accident at home today. It was the Vietnamese. I’m worried about last month’s incident. You check it up everywhere. How did the news get out? Communicate with several associations. Keep an eye on them… Um…” He looks at me and doesn’t go on, but the man has already known it and nodding out.

 I can see that the man, whether walking or standing, is very straight, with a very good posture when he’s moving, and he has obvious traces of the army.

 Then the Papa 8 is sighing, going aside, pouring me a glass of water with a seemingly old thermos bottle, and smiling at me to show me that I’m welcome.

 “Little 5, right?” He’s saying with the mild smile, “Tell me something about your story. What trouble did you cause at home?”

 I repeat what I have said to Uncle 7 in the car to him again.

 Papa 8 does not speak, listening quietly, fingers taping lightly on the table, as if with some strange rhythm. Because of the rhythm of his finger tapping is so strange that on several occasions I can’t help being carried by the rhythm, and the tone of the voice is also changed a little by it.

 He’s smiling, feeling my discomfort and saying: “Oh, sorry. This is my old habit.”

 Suddenly my heart is moving and I remember that the rhythm of his finger tapping is in accordance with the rhythm of an old song: As time goes by!

 When I finish, he gently touches his eyebrows and says slowly: “I think, according to what you said, in fact, your troubles at home have been over. They thought you were dead, didn’t they? Someone has helped you make a fake corpse, so you should be in no trouble anymore.”

 “Still have.” I shake my head, and the corners of my eye muscles are jumping lightly, “There might still be troubles, the one help me faking my death also wants me to be killed to keep my mouth shut up forever!”

 Papa 8 is laughing suddenly: “Well, you don’t have to explain more, I understand. You are not the first or the last one of these things.” He’s shaking his head, “But now I have a question to ask you. This question is very important. Answer me when you think it over.”

 “OK!” I nod.

 “You are in Canada now. No matter who wants to kill you in hometown, the forces can’t come here, so no one will hunt you here any more. You are safe now. So, I need to figure out what your plan to the future.” Papa 8 is saying slowly, “You are recommended by Ocean. I can tell you very clearly that he is one of our brothers. We absolutely believe the person he sends. But you have to figure out your thought first.”

 I stare at him.

 He’s laughing suddenly: “You saw it at 7’s house today. What we do here is not ordinary business. In other words, we are not good people! If you just want to live a safe life here, depending on Ocean’s sentiment, I’ll find a way to get you a legal identity, give you a sum of money, let you have a legal life in Canada, and help you find a job, or let you do a small business here. In that case, you will live here in peace and quiet in your own. And I promise you, with us, you won’t be bullied by anyone else.”

 I’m keeping quiet and staring at him.

 “The other way is to join us.” Papa 8 is sighing again, “Ocean, this fellow, since he sent you here, but he did not explain any word of his own idea. It presumably he meant that you have to make your own decision. But let me remind you that if you join us, you are not going to continue to live a safe life. Canada is not your hell, but similarly, here is not the heaven too!”

 I stare at him quietly, then change my sitting position, looking at a box of cigarettes on his desk, hesitate for a moment, point it and ask: “May I?”

 “Oh, of course.” Papa 8 is smiling and throws the cigarette box to me.

 I take it, take one cigarette out and light it: “I haven’t smoked on the sea for several days. Really addicted it.”

 “It’s more difficult to come from the seapath. Now many people will choose to from the air.” Papa 8 is smiling faintly.

 I know what his meant about from the seapath and from the air are all slang, which means stowaway by ship or by plane.

 I take a puff of the cigarette, and the long-lost smell of tobacco is moving back and forth in my lungs. I can’t help sighing. Then I’m raising my eyes and staring at him, saying solemnly, “Papa 8! In fact, I’ve thought about it before I come.”

 “Well?” He makes a gesture to let me go on.

 “In fact, before I come, Ocean suggested that I might go to live in the countyside town of in the northwest or southwest, and then live a safe life as a good citizen. But I refused.” I slowly spilt out the smoke, looking at his eyes and says, “I cannot forget what I have experienced before! I used to have my own life, a lovely apartment, a sweet home, a woman I love, but just because of…” I’m coughing, hiding the muscles in the corners of my eyes and the expression on my face, and saying quickly, “I’ve lost all these! I was chased like a lost dog! After opening my eyes every day, the first thing to do is to celebrate that I have lived one more day! At the same time, I pray to God to let me continue to be lucky today! Later I understood that I was chased so badly because I was a little common people! A common people who has nothing! I’m a good fighter. I can beat several people at the same time. One night, I was fighting all the way down the street with a knife. One people facing more than a dozen! But what’s the use of that? I have only one life, only one…”

I’m clenching my teeth and staring at him: “I have only one life, I don’t care about desperation. If I’m finished and everything is over. But the people who were chasing me have so many lives on their hands!”

 Papa 8 doesn’t talk.

 “I’ve thought it very clearly, I do not want to find a place, and then hide like a rat! I do not want to be anonymous for a whole lifetime! I don’t want to hide my face every day for fear that others will recognize me! I don’t want to live that way!” I’m clenching my teeth and yelling, “If I was willing to live that kind of life, I wouldn’t have to take such a big risk to come to Canada! I came to try to find a way out. I said to myself and Ocean, I’ll be back in a beautiful and swaggering way!”

 Papa 8 still does not speak, but quietly taking the cigarette box, taking out a cigarette from it and lights it himself.

 “For this matter, I almost lost my whole life! What do I get when I abandon my life?” I’m grinning hatefully, “I got a saying, ‘I’m sorry, you have to die’. As a result, I have nothing now, family, women, friends, work, life… There’s nothing left. Not even what I took as the father’s and brother’s feeling! I was escaping all the way, I was fighting all the way, I was hiding all the way. I almost have died many times, but I just don’t want to die! I told myself that I would be going back alive!”

 The more I’m saying, the more raging, the more blood and fury pouring into my heart. Suddenly, a hot-blooded movie that I saw when I was young is jumping out of my mind, I remember a line of word, which makes me have a serious resonance at the moment!

 “I must go back! Not because I want to prove that I can, but because I want others to know! What I have lost will be brought back by myself!”

 Papa 8 takes a look at me, taking a deep puff, then standin up and patting me on the shoulder: “You come with me.”