Everything I Got from Online Shopping Was Legit

Chapter 31: Gentle Breeze and Bright Moon × Fat and Thin Celestial Attendants √

What Bright Moon Ancestor, I could even be Bodhi Patriarch.

Using two apples to pass off as ginseng fruit, do you think I’ve lost my intelligence because I’m in love, and would actually play along with such a boring trick?

“Alright, Bright Moon Ancestor!”

Hearing this, Yuan Meng lifted her head, her round little face full of satisfaction from being acknowledged.

What a joke—this was his God of Wealth. What was the big deal about calling her Bright Moon Ancestor once? If it were Zhang Wei, he would have called her “Honorable Godmother” without hesitation.

“Mm~~ Good, you shall be rewarded!”

As she spoke, Yuan Meng tossed over two bananas.

Lin Mo: …

“No, but why are you giving me bananas? I’m not Fu Hang. And besides, where did you even pull all these things from?”

At this moment, Yuan Meng had no backpack, nor did she carry any bags in her hands. She simply reached behind her back and took out two huge apples, then reached again and produced two bananas. She was just like that wolf from cartoons—whatever one wanted, she could pull it out the moment she placed her little hands behind her back.

“My master is Zhenyuanzi. Of course, I know ‘a world in my sleeves.’ Look!” As she said this, Yuan Meng once again reached behind her back, grabbed at the air, and under Lin Mo’s shocked gaze, pulled out an extra-large cold drink with a straw already stuck in it.

“Uh? This… this is even possible?”

Lin Mo stood up, circled around Yuan Meng, and truly found no pockets. Her dress wasn’t even bulky.

Her casual, effortless manner couldn’t help but remind him of the comic skits where Lord Hou pulled a baseball bat from under his long gown. Immediately, Lin Mo gave her a thumbs up and said:

“Yuan God, truly gifted!”

In fact, this was just the difference between men and women. No man would ever imagine how much storage space some girls’ skirts could have.

Not to mention this long skirt Yuan Meng was wearing now—even a JK short skirt had absurdly large storage capacity while still looking unbulky.

“Of course, I am Bright Moon Ancestor!” She held her cold drink with both hands and happily took a big sip.

“By the way, Sister Yuan, what made you dress like this today?” Lin Mo asked curiously.

Not that it looked bad. After all, Miss Yuan was at the top tier in the “rich-loli” category. As long as she didn’t wear anything too revealing, she would look good in anything. Dressing as Bright Moon Celestial Child was certainly no problem.

But normally, who wore this kind of outfit to work? Even if she wore some traditional-style dress, it would be understandable, since lately hanfu fashion was trending, especially among young women.

“Oh, I went to a comic convention yesterday. I dressed like this there, became the center of attention, and the more I looked at it, the more I liked it. So today I just wore it again!” Yuan Meng said matter-of-factly.

“Comic convention?” Lin Mo didn’t understand, so he asked further: “You’re already a rich lady, and you still play cosplay?”

“Ever heard of hobbies? Who says having money means you can’t like cosplay? In our cosplay circle, there are plenty of people with wealthy families. Who said we must work for money? We just want to make ourselves happy, okay?” Yuan Meng gave him a disdainful look.

Hearing this, Lin Mo thought it made sense. Wealth and hobbies didn’t conflict. Some even drove sports cars to deliver takeout, just to experience life.

“Sister Yuan, what other characters have you cosplayed?” Lin Mo asked curiously.

This question hit the nail on the head. Yuan Meng sat down, pulled out her phone, and opened her photo album, showing him her past cosplay works.

One look was enough to shock him. Yuan Meng was simply the holy embodiment of loli cosplay—characters like Angela, Klee, Kanna-chan, the Platelet from Cells at Work, and more…

Each role she played was portrayed so vividly, it was as if she had walked straight out of the two-dimensional world.

“Well? Isn’t it pretty? If you like, next time I’ll bring you along. With your looks, the two of us could cosplay a CP pair!” Yuan Meng said proudly. At the same time, she thought it might actually be a good idea. After all, now that Xiao Black Dog had evolved, he was definitely considered handsome.

Hearing this, Lin Mo frowned and then said: “Not impossible. Then I’ll cosplay Zhao Yun.”

“No problem! Then I’ll cosplay Diao Chan. In Honor of Kings, Zhao Yun and Diao Chan are a CP!” Yuan Meng said happily.

“That’s not necessary. Could you switch to another one?”

“Another one? Who?”

“Hmm… you can cosplay Changban Slope.”

Yuan Meng: …

“You damn… you’re still trying to stab me. I’ll kill you!”

With that, Miss Yuan pulled out a stuffed pancake with egg from the back of her skirt and slapped it right onto his face.

One had to admit—this skirt was amazing, it had both food and drinks.

Three minutes later, Lin Mo had eaten the stuffed pancake and finished off a banana. For the first time, he realized that food really could fall from the sky.

“Oi! Since you ate my pancake, you’re mine now. Here, put this on. From now on, you’re Gentle Breeze Ancestor!”

Seeing Lin Mo finish her breakfast, Yuan Meng tossed over a random bag from who-knows-where. Inside was a light purple Gentle Breeze Ancestor costume.

Hearing this, Lin Mo instantly reached for his throat.

“Even if you vomit, you’ll still wear it!” Yuan Meng declared.

Lin Mo simply gave up: “I refuse. At worst, I’ll buy you one, even ten if you want. But me wearing this? That’s asking for death!”

“Really won’t wear it?”

“Not wearing it!”

“What a pity, I was planning to give you a ten-thousand red packet if you wore it.”

But Lin Mo remained unmoved. That price might have tempted him in the past, but now it couldn’t buy his noble soul.

“Why don’t you try Zhang Wei? I think he’d agree.”

His eyes flickered—Lin Mo transformed into an “Idea King,” instantly coming up with a brilliant plan.

“Right! How could I forget Fatty? Good idea!”

With that, Yuan Meng swept away all the leftover bananas and apples, grabbed the bag, and left without looking back, as if making some firm decision.

Lin Mo sighed in relief. On one hand, he could now work in peace. On the other, he didn’t even know how to explain being tricked by Liu Rushuang. If Yuan Meng found out, she would surely jump in anger.

Meanwhile, Yuan Meng replayed the same act in front of Zhang Wei.

Time quickly passed to noon. Lin Mo was eating claypot rice when suddenly, two figures—one big and one small, one purple and one green—appeared before him.

“Pff… hahaha, Brother Wei, you… how did she convince you? Or did she catch something on you? Or did Yuan God offer a price you couldn’t refuse?”

o(*≧▽≦)ツ┏━┓

At this moment, Zhang Wei was dressed in Gentle Breeze Celestial Child’s outfit, a wig perched on his head. The clothes were a bit small, exposing his hairy calves, making him look utterly ridiculous.

Faced with the stream of customers in the shop, he desperately tried to cover his face with his sleeves.

Seeing this, Yuan Meng gave him a kick: “Cough, cough, speak! Otherwise, no final payment for you!”

“B-b… Bold! You must address me as Gentle Breeze Ancestor!” Zhang Wei stammered, his face flushed bright red.

By this point, Lin Mo was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Pointing at the two of them, he couldn’t help but say:

“Have you two watched Living Buddha Jigong? Fat and Thin Celestial Attendants! Hahaha!”

Zhang Wei: …

Yuan Meng: (´ཀ`」∠)

……