Even Though I Loved You First

Monologue [Riku]

I never really understood why people made fun of others’ hobbies. Are some of them so shallow as to look for a way to hide their insecurities?

Do they really think that by putting others down because of their enjoyments or trinkets, they will eventually reach emotional salvation and feel better about themselves?

If anything, knowing themselves that they resort to such pitiful tactics to elevate their inflating egos, the only emotion they should feel has to be endless sorrow.

Just like my older brother who brought smiles to many people with his haircuts, I also wanted to be like him… No… I had to be like him.

Back then, I sincerely thought that for me, painting was the path I should take. And when once stumbled on a roadblock and was about to give up.

“What a gorgeous drawing!”

He appeared and since that day, my life has turned around. It was thanks to him… to those three, that I could take a step forward and be content with what I made.

And ever since falling in love with her, I wanted to get one one day… In the hopes of having her look my way, I could portray her natural beauty in a canvas that was yet to be touched.

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After School

Riku’s POV~

“Then, I will be going now.” My friend Kei waved at me as he picked up his stuff.

“The bell just rang, though. You want to be with Arisa that much?” I couldn’t help but tease him, ever since he got a girlfriend he’s been having this ‘sugary aura around him.

“I do, but… I’m not meeting Arisa today…” I said as his shoulders dropped.

“Club activities?” I tilted my head.

“Partially… Well, my cousin invited me and my sisters for a meal so I’ll be heading with them right now.” (Kei)

“That so? I don’t have club activities today but I’ll work on my entry for a national art contest in my clubroom.” (Riku)

“You did tell me about it. What was the theme again?” (Kei)

“If I remember correctly it should be—” (Riku)

↜♡↝

As far as I’m concerned, the art style they’re looking for is carbon art, then the materials needed should already be in the clubroom, so I don’t have to head out or postpone it…

However… What do I even use as a model? My bracelet could be an option… It’s beautiful and well elaborated.

“You seem to be in trouble.” My body jerked instantly, interrupting my thoughts, as I heard a feminine voice behind me.

“It’s you, Sachi… you scared me—” I sighed in relief until an idea came to mind.

“Sorry about that. You looked so deep in thought so— E-eh? R-Riku?!” She seemed flustered. Well, it’s to be expected… Who wouldn’t be when someone suddenly grabs you by the shoulders.

From my end, there was no time to get flustered, I’ve just found what I was looking for.

“Sachi. Are you free right now?” (Riku)

“E-eh= I-I am… but is something wro—” (Sachi)

“Then,” I’ll probably look back on this day and cringe to myself, but I wanted to get my point across. I took a deep breath and, “Could you be my muse?” (Riku)

“E-eh…?”Sachi’s face turned bright red and for a moment, she looked confused. It looks like I have myself a model!

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Afterschool [Art Clubroom]

“R-Riku, I-I’ve never modeled before… Will I be of any use…?” (Sachi)

“Don’t sell yourself short, Sachi. Believe me, you’re the only one that I can count on.” I said as I got my materials ready. With a theme like that… she’s the only one I can count on…

“T-then, I’ll do my best!” She pumped her fists like a small child.

She really is cute… I chuckled to myself. Perhaps hearing my chuckle, Sachi went from a determined face to a pouty face.

“Geez~ I feel like you’re treating me like a child!” She said,

I couldn’t confirm nor deny it, her mannerisms were just so elegant and cute that I felt myself drawn to them.

“Sachi. Did you start any new books recently?” (Riku)

Sachi looked shocked due to the sudan question but nevertheless answered. “Uhm…” She rummaged through her bag, “I started this one yesterday…” She took out a small paperback which by guess, was only chapter two or one.

“Perfect! Then, sit here…” I placed a chair in front of her, making sure I could perfectly turn from my canvas to her. “Please pose as if you’re reading your book. Of course, you can read it while I sketch you, flipping pages won’t affect the outcome.” (Riku)

I pondered for a second and added, “I’ll sketch the outline of your body and I’ll detail the legs first. That way, you will be able to change which leg is on top of which without any problems.” (Riku)

“Eh? A-ah, unn.” She shyly nodded and sat down on the chair. Contrary to what I envisioned, Sachi placed her book on her lap without putting any leg on top of the other.

I felt myself attracted to such movements that I dozed for a second. “A-anyway, I’ll start now, okay?” I said, breaking free from my illusion.

I have to control myself… If I don’t start… I’ll have Sachi walk to her house at night. As a man, I can’t make her go through something so dangerous…

↜♡↝

Sachi’s POV~

I hope I’m helping him out a little… Uuuuhhhh~ Being the center of attention isn’t normal for me!

Though I appeared calm on the outside, I was going through a wide range of random emotions. I was somehow able to focus on reading my paperback as Riku sat opposite of me drawing on a canvas.

I took a glance at Riku, who seemed to really focus on his sketch. I felt myself drawn to his serious-looking face. His blue eyes wavered through the canvas and his brown hair which was illuminated by the scarlet lighting coming across the window.

As I continued looking at him, I noticed something on his wrist. Something really familiar. At the same time, Riku seemed to finish another section and looked back at me.

“Then, I’m done with the overall body, all that’s left are the details. Please bear with it for a who— i-is something wrong?” (Riku)

“Hmm-Hmm,” I shook my head, “I’m only surprised that you really took good care of it. The bracelet, I mean.” I looked over at the blue bracelet I gifted him on Christmas.

“Haha, is that so?” He wryly smiled, “I may not look like it, but I do treasure any gifts I get.” (Riku)

“…especially from people dear to me…” (Riku)

“Did you say something?” I asked.

“No. Please don’t mind it.” He shook his head and looked back at the canvas. “Then, I’ll give the finishing touches. Stay still for a little more, will you?” (Riku)

“Unn? S-sure…?” (Sachi)

↜♡↝

Third Person POV~

“And… I’m done.” As a voice resounded in a place where only two students were. Riku Ryouzaki said as he peeked from behind the canvas towards Sachi Sadataka.

He motioned her to come and take a look. Sachi then hesitantly stood up and went behind Riku. At that moment, she froze.

A-areh…? There’s no way it is me… No, no, no… The sketch looks way too beautiful… It’s breathtaking…

“R-Riku… Are you sure you drew the right person?” Sachi said while shivering.

“Unn. I’m sure. You… don’t like it…?” Riku felt scared to learn her answer, but asked nonetheless.

“No, it’s not that… It’s just… she looks way too pretty for her to be me…” She wasn’t lying, the painting she saw felt unreal…

The amount of details and soft traces that composed the sketch felt as if Riku was just exaggerating her qualities. She was quite insecure, that’s why she couldn’t believe any of it.

“That so? I think the real deal looks way prettier though…” He muttered, not trying to hide his feelings. At least, that’s what he wanted… Coming to the realization of what he just said, Riku froze and tried to cover it.

”S-sorry! M-my t-tongue slipped! T-though I wasn’t l-lying or anything…” He tried to hide his embarrassment but he only doubled the power.

“I-is that so…?” She grew even more red and trying to run away, she stuttered. “U-uhm… I left my t-t-things in the classroom so, I-I-I’ll be heading back now… B-bye…” She shyly said as she bowed and left the room.

As Riku was left alone in utter embarrassment, he remembered the theme of the competition he will be applying for. He didn’t like to hide things from her, but there was no way he could tell Sachi what he needed to draw.

As Riku searched through his bag, he took out a sheet of paper containing the details for the competition and reread the theme asked for.

♦ Something you love. (Person, object, pet, etc.)

He sighed and covered his face with one of his hands, until he gathered the courage to express what he felt in a worthy way. He hid this page until the time was right.

Yeah… there’s no way I can let her see this…yet… A little later, Riku finished second place in the competition and his work was exhibited in a local art museum.

Though that would be a story for another time.