Euphemistically Yours

After Grit and I had plenty of time to soak in the baths, we changed into the more formal clothing that we had packed. At this point, it didn’t matter since our plans had changed. If the Duke wasn’t in residence, there was no point in going to the castle. But, there was no way to carry that news to my wife and daughters. I wouldn't want them to feel out of place.

The foyer of the bath house served double duty as a waiting lounge and a fancy ale house. Since our womenfolk were taking their time in the baths, Grit and I settled into seats at a table and ordered some appetizers. It cut into my allowance for the week, but it let us hold down a table until the others arrived.

“Father, what will you do now?” Grit asked.

“Not sure. I’ll discuss the situation first with your mother, she…”

I paused when a server arrived carrying a wooden platter with our order. This consisted of crisp baked flatbread along with dollops of jellied fruit and cream. There were also small knives to spread the toppings as desired. To be clear, I'd ordered enough for my whole family since I knew to save most of it for my wife and daughters.

The server boy carrying all this was no older than Swift, but his balance and etiquette were flawless. Grit gave him a smile and a nod. In response, the boy knelt briefly to our higher status and then retreated.

“You were saying…” said Grit once the boy was gone.

“I want to wait for your mother’s advice. Oh… and here she is!”

The rest of my family arrived through the archway, and many heads in the room turned to look. Each of them were dressed in their finer clothing, complete with bonnet hats, ready for a trip to the castle. Eu’s hat completely covered her hair, which disguised her strange appearance. Constance led the others in, though she was dragging Eu along with a firm grip on her ear.

“Husband, you didn’t tell me she hated baths.” Constance complained.

“I didn’t know.”

“Mmm…” I felt her unspoken words. A single sound from Constance was more than effective to communicate her displeasure. Yet, without voicing any actual meaning, her sentiment didn’t cross the line of her supposed respect for her husband.

Progress was walking behind the two of them, but she was holding one hand up to cover her face. “Father... that girl! She’s vicious!”

“What happened?”

“She poked me in the eye! With her finger!”

When she temporarily removed her hand, it revealed the angry red outline around her swollen eye. I’d seen worse on the battlefield, so I looked closer to appraise the damage. “Not too bad. Looks like she punched you, not a poke. If you can see fine, you’ll have a black eye tomorrow, but it will heal.”

Progress glared at me, “Father, this is your fault!”

“What? Why?”

“It’s your fault,” she repeated herself. “I want an apology!”

“Fine. I’m sorry. I regret that I didn’t see this coming.”

“Hmmph!” Progress took her seat.

Simultaneously, Swift sat down beside me, and whispered into my ear, “Eu is amazing!”

“Wh-what? How?”

“She fights for her honor like a knight!”

I looked over at Eu, trying to meld the two concepts, but failed. Regardless, Swift nodded to herself and looked quite confident with the assessment.

“Husband, I see that you ordered food. That was well considered.” Constance still held Eu by one ear as she took her seat. Then, with her free hand, she picked up one of the crisps and dipped it into the fruit jelly. Eu was left standing, well… actually crouching beside the table.

I decided to ignore the strange scene and concentrate on my own wording, “Of course I ordered food! I could hear the altercation from the other side of the bath house wall, and I supposed that you would like some time to relax.”

“Indeed. You were right.” Constance popped the flatbread into her mouth. “Perhaps we should order lunch. We lost more than a bell bathing and changing clothes.”

One of Eu’s hands snuck out toward the table to grab a piece of bread. However, this was slapped away from her by Progress. “You little beast! You don’t get any!”

I winced as I saw Eu’s vengeful glare. Those two were not going to be friends.

In the meantime, Swift had prepared one of her own to eat, but paused, watching the other two scowling at each other. “Is this Eu’s punishment?”

“Punishment?” I asked.

“No lunch for her! She can go hungry!” suggested Progress.

Grit objected, “Aww… she’s just a little thing! We should at least give her some bread!”

Progress rounded on him, “You’re one to talk! You ate all of yesterday’s sweetcakes!”

“No, I didn’t! What makes you say that?” he gaped at her.

“You ate them all before I arrived for breakfast!”

“They were all gone before I got there!”

“Then who do you think ate them?”

All of our eyes swiveled to Eu. After all, we all remembered how she’d stared at them after being denied last night. Constance asked the critical question, “Eu… did you eat the sweetcakes?”

“No-oo-oo!” The middle tone of the word was higher, indicating emphasis and a sense of betrayal. She even gave out a sad whimper and tried to make an innocent face. If I didn’t know better, I would have guessed that she had been unfairly accused.

“Husband, this girl is a thief and a liar.”

“She’s amazing!” added Swift.

“Uhh… I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again?” I offered. On the other hand, I could see the scheming look on Eu’s face. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Yes. That sounds like a good idea.” Constance pulled down on Eu’s ear, forcing her to kneel beside the table. “Now then, since she’s had plenty of sweetcakes already today, I think nobody will object to her missing lunch?”

Since all of our eyes fell on Grit as Eu’s prior defender, he waved his hands, “No objection! In fact, it seems like a light punishment! Indeed, a fair exchange for the loss of our sweetcakes!”

Although I agreed with the decision, I could see that Eu did not. Her eyes had narrowed to pin-pricks of rage.

Since I was busy watching her to see what Eu would try next, I was surprised when the server boy arrived. Apparently, Grit had waved him over. Once again, I was impressed by the boy’s professional attitude. His eyes barely flickered to Eu, who was whimpering at the far side of the table.

“Ah… yes. We’d like to order lunch. What do you suggest?”

“We have a very popular soup, though considering your family’s status, I would suggest the glazed lamb roast with mushrooms, squash, and parsnips.”

I nodded along. Wow! That was a smooth delivery! He’d given me the option, but then by flattering me, I didn’t have much choice but to take his offering. I was only a squire, but this was a chance to show off. After all, we were already dressed up fancy. On top of all that, it sounded tasty! If not now, then when?

“We’ll have the soup. Four servings.” Constance intervened, rescuing me from my prideful ruminations, and then nodded her chin toward Eu to indicate which of us wouldn’t be getting any.

“Yes, of course, my lady,” the boy retreated again.

Unfortunately, it was too soon to relax. I still had some bad news to relay, “Now then, ahh… there’s been a change of plans. I was hoping to see the Duke today, but he’s gone to Kingseat. No telling when he’ll be back.”

“Mmm…” Constance nodded. “No sense in talking to the Seneschal.”

Her opinion of that man was about the same as my own. Trouble.

Progress was pressing her fingers against her bruised eye socket. From her face, she was mortified at the thought of a blemish. “I for one am glad we’ll be going back home. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me looking like this.”

Grit and Swift didn’t seem to have an opinion, although Swift seemed to be paying more attention to Eu than any of the words of our discussion. In fact, I saw her loading up a crisp flatbread with plenty of fruit and cream and then she snuck it under the table to Eu’s waiting hand.

“Swift! Stop that!”

“Yes, Father!” Her face fell in shame. Clearly she knew she’d been doing something wrong. But, we hadn’t warned her previously, so her acknowledgement was enough.

Unfortunately, Eu already had a firm hand on the treat and the whole thing went straight into her mouth. She swallowed it down quickly, as if afraid we might pull it out of her jaws.

I sighed loudly, but Grit chose that moment to ask a question, “Father. What about me?”

“Err… what?”

“If you are going home, may I spend some time in town.”

“In your nice clothes? What for?”

“I could visit the home of some of the other squires’ sons.”

“Oh ho!” murmured Progress. “Showing off for their sisters?”

“Of course not!” He protested, but the blush on his face told a different story.

I looked at my wife and she looked back at me. There was no harm in it. In fact, it was good to let him spread his wings and socialize a little. “You may go. But don’t get your clothes dirty and be back home before sundown.”

“Of course, father!” HIs smile was beaming.

Unfortunately, not everyone could be so happy. I could hear Progress’s sniffle and guess that she too was looking forward to showing off a little in her nice clothes. But, as a daughter, she had no room to complain and no expectation of going anywhere alone. Furthermore, considering her hurt eye, her hopes were already dashed.

In contrast, her sister, Swift, seemed entirely too impressed by the whole situation. “Amazing!”