NOVEL WEB James and Eliana(2)
“So, I take it you made some kind of deal with the Goddess” James asked her as the conclusion he reached seems to be the only plausible explanation he can think of.
Mm, but it is not in the way you are thinking” Eliana replied
“Then how did it go?”
“Initially when she ‘woke’ me up, I thought I was in some version of the afterlife and I was somewhat delighted at that, I thought I had finally escaped my torment... imagine my disappoint when she told me that it wasn’t but I was still alive and kicking, that my body has finally been cured of that filth that had ailed me for so long... how do you think I reacted in that moment”
Ever since they have arrived in this place, James had seen Eliana smile, get sad, even show some slight anger but never did he think he would see her get to see this expression on her face.
Her cheeks were flushed and you could see how embarrassed she was even recalling the thought of what she did but in James's head, the only thing he could think of seeing such a sight was...
‘So cute’
He ultimately chose not to point it out though but he wondered if he would ever get to see such an expression again.
“So, I assume you lost your temper?” James said
*Sigh*
“I also didn’t think all my bottled-up emotions would reveal themselves in such a way, what made it even more shameful was how gentle and patient she was, how she just gave me the time to just let it all out...It was discomforting but it was something I was grateful for in a way even though it was still embarrassing...After it happened though I was reminded of how I frightening it would’ve been if it was to be any other divine being...they wouldn’t have had all that patience and they might’ve chosen to erase me out of existence right at that moment” she trembled slightly at the thought but quickly shook it off.
“Anyway, she then proceeded to tell me about your situation and I disagreed at first but she was good at convincing, she first drew me in with the knowledge of something she gifted you that could deal with my body’s issues and then proceeded to give me an offer I couldn’t particularly refuse...”
“Which was?”
“It’s not important” She averted her eyes and looking at her James knew it was something she didn’t particularly feel like disclosing which was kind of weird in his opinion since if they merged, he would know anyway, but he ultimately chose to not press her.
He then rose a concern that was on his mind since Eliana first explained what they were here for.
“What would you do if I ultimately didn’t want to merge with you?”
“...”
The room was silent and neither one of them said a thing. The tea they had been drinking had all but finished by now. They could’ve just conjured up more to refill their cups but it's evident neither one of them cared about such a thing at this point.
*Sigh*
Eliana sighed audibly, this was something she dreaded asking after all and she had avoided speaking of it until now because she was afraid of what James might say.
Even though she might’ve not wanted to continue living when she first ‘woke’ up after her prolonged slumber and even until now, she still might have some aversion to it and is thinking in her mind...
‘What is even the point’
In the deepest recesses of her heart, there is a small spark lying dormant. After living for more than a year in the condition she was in, her initial drive and will to live had slowly been withered down until it reached the point that she no longer even wanted to exist anymore.
But when that Goddess told her there is a chance for her to continue living, that small spark had slowly started to burn again and now as she sits across from James, the most important factor in whether or not she gets to live a life she deems worth living again, her heart can’t help but beat hard in her chest.
She knows she can’t force him to agree just because she wants him to and that ultimately the choice lies with him and that leaves her feeling powerless...
Again!
Again, it’s that same feeling that has continued to haunt her all her life, a pivotal moment, something that could dictate the future of her existence has once again lied on the whim of somebody else...
She hates it...
She truly abhors it right down to her very core but she is then reminded of her own weakness and inability to change her own situation and she then raises her eyes to look at James, a myriad of emotions running through them with the person in question none the wiser...
When James looks back at her, even though he is no empath or mind reader of any sort, he can somewhat feel the tide of emotions rushing through her at this very moment and as he looks into her velvet-coloured eyes, he can feel it...
Even though she might not say it and keeps trying to hide it, he knows that deep down, she does not want to truly die and in the deepest parts of her heart she wants to live.
Another thing he can feel as well is that even though she has such a burning desire to live deep down, she doesn’t want to live a life that she can’t be proud of...
Though he is not really sure what being without talent truly means in her world, he can somewhat imagine it when he thinks about the many web novels he has read back on Earth.
How vexing would it be to live in a world where you can see almost all the people around you grow to become beings of nigh-superhuman or ‘godly’ levels of power and can go on and do fantastical things while you sit at home.
You sit and yearn to be just like them but you know you do not have the ability and you are stuck in a life of mediocrity.
When he comes to process this thought, he thinks about his own life he had lived on Earth, he never did much of anything. He never achieved much of anything. He just spent his days meandering through life, something akin to auto-pilot.
The only thing that could be called special and what stood out about him was just his looks. Looks that he was ultimately too ashamed to embrace fully and be comfortable with that even until the day of his death, he never got to experience any pleasures of the flesh whatsoever when he could say that was the one thing he truly wanted to experience even though he would never admit it to himself.
When he thinks about it from that angle, he can somewhat resonate with her feelings and he can finally understand why she chose to agree to this situation even if it’s only a little bit.
“How will it even work in the first place?” He asked
“Huh” Eliana was bewildered
“This merger between us, how will it work exactly?”
“She said that our souls would merge wherein we would combine and become one person, our desires, fears, likes, dislikes, personalities, thoughts, everything that makes up who we are, will mix and combine into one being that perfectly encapsulates us in all of our entirety”
“So, there will no difference between us, no split-personalities or anything?”
“No, none that I am aware of”
“...”
Another momentary silence ensued between them before James slowly spoke.
“alright”
“What?” Eliana’s heart thumped so furiously that she is sure that James heard it but she obviously had no time to care for such a thing. She didn’t want to believe it, she was sure he meant something else and that she is probably misinterpreting his words.
This thought process plagued her in those few milliseconds before she heard James speak again.
“Alright let’s do it, this whole merger thing”
“...”
Eliana was speechless, she really didn’t expect for him to agree, this was what she wanted and yet hearing those words come out of James’ mouth made her not know how to temporarily deal with her own emotions but not even a second later, a gorgeous smile bloomed on her face, one filled with relief, happiness and most specifically gratitude.
She was so ecstatic that even before she realised it, she had already flown out her chair and crashed straight into James.
Boom!
The table shattered as a result and dissipated into blurry motes of light while James fell onto the floor on his back with a now slightly teary Eliana on top of him.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you...”
She kept thanking him profusely, tears running down her cheeks as she couldn’t contain just how happy she was, she never expected that she would feel so delighted at hearing this but she just couldn’t control herself.
“I... Uh”
James really didn’t know what to say so he just chose to let her be. After a few minutes, Eliana finally collected herself and raised herself up from him and the sight James wanted to see appeared again.
Her cheeks flushed red and even though her hair was all over the place and her face was messed up due to her tears, it didn’t diminish from her looks in any way whatsoever.
“How beautiful” he blurted out and before he could even say anything...
“Hehe, admiring yourself already, how narcissistic of you”
Eliana giggled mischievously as she looked down at him.
