Enlil

Goats surrounded me, the light from their lanterns illuminated their faces and that's all it did.

Everything else was devoured by the darkness.

I sat, sprawled on the ground, my eyes staring at the deer.

At myself.

Its face twisted in fury, its gritted teeth dripped saliva onto the ground.

Its eyes stared at me with the intent to kill.

To kill itself.

To kill myself.

My face, its face didn't change nor blink, it just stared.

At me.

The goats quieted down, returning the silence of the night as we both stared at eachother.

Why?

Doubts filled my mind.

Why?

Why aren't I running?

Why aren't I getting up?

Why aren't I scared?

Why am I looking at myself?

Why with hatred?

Why do I hate myself?

Everything else around me seemed insignificant as I ignored them.

The deer was small and scrawny.

A human arm extended from its back holding a lantern, just like the goat.

However its lantern was different, no..it wasn't lantern.

It was a torch.

A golden torch.

Its flames brightly illuminated the surroundings, not even the darkness could contain it.

And then I saw, I realised.

The deer...it was injured.

Iron thorns wrapped tightly around its body drawing blood.

It was a suprise for sure.

My eyes followed their path and noticed they originated from its chest.

From its heart.

A bloody hole, mangled flesh shredded by the thorny vines escaped from its heart and wrapped around the creature.

I glanced at its face again.

Realisation hit.

Its hatred wasn't pointed towards me.

It was rage.

Rage due to pain.

I..

I don't hate myself.

I hate pai..wait.

I don't hate pain.

I never hated it.

Infact I appreciate it, it signifies my hesitation.

So then why?

I gazed into its eyes.

So then why do you hate pain?

The deer didn't answer, its face remained the same.

I took a quick glance around, the lanterns were nowhere to be seen.

Light has disappeared.

Alongside the goats.

Bad news.

I immediately stood up, the deer didn't react to my sudden movement instead it just looked at me.

I stared back at it too.

Fascinating.

And intriguing.

We both stared.

For a long time.

We both stared at eachother, at our reflection,

With no care in the world.

Oh.

Realisation hit again.

The chains of thorns clanked as they tightened, the mangled flesh started to..

Heal.

However the thorns didn't allow as they shredded the flesh once again.

I see.

He is just like me.

He is me.

He doesn't hate pain.

He hates that he has to live through it.

He hates his regeneration.

Just like me.

He is a reflection of myself.

No..

He is an imitation.

I hate the regeneration and yet I appreciate.

However.

He doesn't.

He is a crudely made imitation inside a dream.

He isn't me.

The deer stood there frozen.

I don't know how much time has passed nor do I know if the goats have disappeared.

But I know.

I know that I will escape.

I reached my hand out and snatched the golden torch from its hand.

I didn't hesitate, why should I?

Its just a mere imitation, why should I hesitate against it?

The deer offered no resistance, it just stood there, frozen, with the same expression.

However.

The torch resisted.

It felt like touching burning coal.

I almost dropped it.

I gritted my teeth, searing heat struck against my palm.

I passed it into my other palm, the torch however didn't go alone as it ripped away skin from my palm.

I sighed.

It was painful.

But still useful.

And I ran.

Without even sparing a glance at my crude self.

I ran.

I ran to escape.

And then hooves followed.

However this time, it was a singular entity.

Laughter ensued.

However it wasn't an unfamiliar laugh.

It was mine.

I didn't need to glance back to know who it was.

The searing hot golden torch in my hands illuminated the surroundings.

Way better than the lantern.

But it wasn't enough to beat the darkness.

I could see the ground and what was infront of me.

Nothing else.

I couldn't see into the distance not could I see the deer chasing me.

And thus a crude imitation chased.

It chased its true self.

Its 'true self' which it assumes to be its perfect self.

However an imitation can never be true.

It can never compare.

It is futile.

It also knew that.

And yet it chased.

Not for perfection.

But for its true self.

For its identity.

To find himself.

However.

How can a shadow compare to its light?

How can it outrun its light?

********

I ran, exhaustion crept up my bones alongside paranoia.

The searing heat from the torch never faltered nor did it reduce.

The air didn't affect the ever burning flame, almost as if it was being avoided on purpose.

I glanced back.

Nothing.

I saw nothing other than darkness.

But I heard.

I heard and felt.

The slight tremors in the ground, the sound of hooves clashing against it.

It felt unreal.

They didn't align with eachother.

The timing is off.

A delayed sound.

The imitation was still chasing me.

No matter how fast the light is, its shadow would always follow it.

That's how it is.

That's how nature works.

But this goes against nature.

The deer, the prey, has become the predator.

The human, the predator, has become the prey.

However.

In the end, they're all the same.

Creations of nature.

Fundamentally different creations that has now gone against the nature's cycle.

How long will this last?

Why is it still chasing me?

I glanced back again, a frightening thought crept up my mind.

That's not possible...

He is not completely similar to me right?

Its just a crude creation, imitation.

However it still retains some of the original characteristics.

If my assumption is correct.

Like me, he won't stop chasing.

He won't stop hoping nor would he stop running.

He won't stop.

Just like how I chase my legacy, he won't stop chasing his light.

We won't stop until we accomplish our quest.

Our hopes and dreams.

Our ambitions.

My ambitions.

My pace increased despite the exhaustion.

My legs tried to give out but I said no.

My brain screamed at me to rest but I ignored it.

My throat begged for water and the answer it received was indifference.

I ran.

I never stopped running.

No matter what.

I can't let an imitation defeat the original.

No matter what.

I am the original.

I am alive.

Its just imitation.

It's soulless.

And thus through this suffocating darkness..

The shadow chased its light.