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Ahh, the ceiling is white, all white. The walls are white and I feel like I'm being shaken. It must be the fever or the medication.

Ugh, I feel like I've been put a 9V battery on my tongue. Everything tastes like electricity.

Bread, water, rusks, soup. Everything tastes the same.

My eyes sting and my skin itches everywhere.

And this nausea, I always want to vomit.

Mom, mom.......

Oh yes, I have neither mom nor dad....They're in heaven.....My grandparents too.....

I'm 8 years old and they left when we were on vacation.

We were all happy together. For my communion gift, Grandma had offered us a trip to Lourdes. A kind of pilgrimage. It was my first time on a plane.

A Boeing 737!

We left with Eric who wanted to come with us. He was my best friend and neighbour.

We did the 400 moves together, and stupid things too. Big nonsense, like starting a locomotive at the railway... well, we just released the brakes and a railroader could stop everything and we ran away while he was taking over the controls... or throwing Grandma's cat in the air and letting go of fear, redecorated the wallpaper. We were congratulated for our initiative to do the spring cleaning when it arrived....

But Lourdes was great.

The visit of the caves of Betharram, with its underground train. It felt like we were on a bad guys' base in James Bond. Then, the torchlight visit of the upper basilica and the prayer for miracles in the underground basilica. We were laughing and it was ringing. We had to be pulled out when I was imitating the roar of a dragon because of the resonance of the concrete. It felt like being in a spaceship because it was so modern.

Yes, there was the little cave. We were furious because we had paid for a candle and we had suffered a terrible crowd and faced the thirst for the Sahara to see our candle taken and someone take it from us and put it in our place. I screamed and got angry.

We took solace in front of an ice cream and pancakes.

The main aisle was full of souvenir shops and what interested me was a pretty music box with small flashing lamps and a camera. I had both and Erix a big foam Thor's hammer that made ROAAAR. In my opinion they had to reverse the Thor and Hulk chips at the factory.....

Eric used to hit everything, even passers-by, to scare them. I was laughing and we were folded in half.

Then the excursions....

Horse riding, visit of waterfalls and lakes. Eric was on a jackass and I on a little mare.

My parents on horseback but my father had stayed at the hotel, met a customer and went to the restaurant to talk. The family not too much for him.

Then we went to see the mountains and took a little train along the ravine. Very nice. I loved it.

We bought a kite each and lost them in the clouds.... We were BELOW THE CLOUDS.

I prayed that one day I would have wings to come here above the clouds and if I were a bird, a unicorn or even better, a dragon, I would make my home in a cave somewhere here.

Then we went to Pau to visit the castle and make an incursion into Spain.

I remember the stupid pretence of the bus driver: "And the Flemish man insulted me instead of thanking me: In the ass Only I learned that thanks in Flemish was said DANK U!.. who means in French : In your ass..."

Eric was bored looking out the window and he was nauseous, car sick. The next day we went for the first time by cable car! Wow, the mountain is high and there is snow at the top. Eternal snows. And in winter, it is a ski resort but in summer, you can cycle and go down the zigzag path.

SUPER

SUPER

We're all going up together and Daddy's with us this time. He smokes cigarettes and disturbs the other passengers, but he doesn't care! My KENT first (stinking brand)!

The view is terrible and the ravines deep, I was very, very scared and Eric was crying.

But when we got to the top, we went to the refreshment bar to have some crunch and coloured rocket ice cubes.

My eyes tinkled: cross bikes with lots of shock absorbers.! We were paid to rent the bicycles and asked to go down by bike instead of the cable car.

Mom and grandma squeezed their arms around me and said: "You'll be careful, OK? don't drive too fast and check your brakes regularly. We want you to keep the helmet on your head, even if it's too hot!

We took one last picnic and went down the slope. I was waving to my parents, but I didn't know it was the last time....

Arriving at the bottom, adults took care of us, firemen...

The cable car had come loose, probably an expansion joint that broke and sheared the pulley support, or a manufacturing defect. Experts are still fighting today.....

But these were the best days of my life....

Eric's parents adopted me and I was happy to live next door to me, I still had access to my room and my house that they maintained for when I grew up.

Mary and Philip were the names of my adoptive parents.

But every time I thought about my grandmother and my parents, I would burst into tears.

But according to old urban legends it is said that the dead call the dead and this winter I felt very sick, like a flu that did not leave and especially random bleeding.

Eric, on the other hand, often went with his Uncle Paul, a maniac of Trekking and history. A real eater of old stones.

2 to 3 times a year, it was an evening of exploration of ruins and various finds. He would show everything on a video projector and then he would show the finds he had brought back. Some of them were huge and he lived by selling his finds to various museums. A true treasure hunter.

The last time was in Nepal and Tibet.

He brought back trunks that were used as a means of execution, promising the unfortunate that he would free him and that he could go out while losing weight, but we were dying of thirst before...

And other unusual objects such as a magnificent ruby-coloured geode with scales engraved on it like those of a fish.

I imagined having this stone in my room mounted as a lamp with the magnificent light it radiated.

The stone was the size of my head.

But at the end of the session, I collapsed hitting the stone and the sharp scales cut my temple and I was bleeding heavily on it.

I had to be taken to the hospital to be sewn up and during the examinations, the cleaver fell off.

My adoptive family cried very hard and my mother-in-law told me poor little...

I didn't understand, I smiled: "I was sewn up, and we can't see anything anymore! Don't cry! Shall we go home? I'm hungry."

Mary took me by the hand and said to me: "Emily, you are a brave little girl! You were able to smile with us again after the tragedy last year but you still have to stay here for a few more days, the doctors found out why you were sick and we have to treat you. You need to be in good shape for the next holiday, we're going to see Belize and Mexico and swim in a tuba at the edges of the temples."

"Yes, Mother Mary!"

Then I was taken to a room with other children and a large playroom.

With them, I quickly realized that what I had was serious and that I could die from it.

I was scared, very scared.

Eric came to visit me every day after school.

I followed the hospital school and went home in the evening then less often then on weekends then not at all...

The drugs were getting painful and I was nauseous all the time.

I had to get up and to avoid too many shots, I had a roller column with plastic bags hanging on it.

I wasn't stupid, far from it. I knew it was the final stretch and I would never go to Mexico. I was screwed. My friends who had no hair left... The empty room, redone for another. I was told that he had been to another hospital or was resting at home, but the caregivers were still crying.

Then Eric brought me the ruby geode mounted as a lamp. She smelled good, she smelled of the mountains, she smelled of life and I held her close to me, so much so that I bled from her.

It was the most beautiful object I had ever seen and loved above all else. I dreamed that I was in the dolomites, flying, that I was in the caves roaring to scare away tourists and that I had wings to go on the waterfall and take my bath in the little lake in the Pyrenees and that I settled as promised in the mountains and fell asleep while squeezing my geode, my gift from Eric.

Then, Mary, Eric, Paul, Philippe and Paul entered after the doctor shaking his head, seeing me hugging the geode with one arm and the other hanging in the void, the monitor showing a straight line, the sound cut off so as not to frighten the others.

One last caress, one last kiss and..... I was in the dark, but not really, it was red, ruby.

I was floating and I heard crying from time to time.

I heard Eric's voice and I felt like I was on his lap.

Then on Mary's lap.

Ehh?????

I'm home???????

I was cold but the light from the lamp warmed me up.

There I was right...

And, I was tight, stuck. ??

Something was wrong!

I have to shake it up.

Ah, I feel myself rolling and I also feel warm hands holding me...

I was afraid!!!

My face was against a wall.

A press???

Noon!!!

Quick, I have to break the wall!

CCCrrraack

A crack! Light! Light!

Quick, I'm swinging.

CRick

Crack

A piece falls off and I'm free.

Phew!

I'm breathing...

I'm a little tired but I'm in good shape, in great shape and I feel like I'm going to conquer the world.

My eyes are swollen and I have to get used to the light but I am at home! And yet everything seems different, more colourful, bigger, more magical.

And I hear bells, like a melody. Isn't that the melody of the Easter bells? Hey, it looks like you do.

Ah, I'm finally wiped and I see Eric, all grown up and he carries me on his arms. I feel like the little lion carried by the Mandril in the cartoon.

Then Eric carried me against him and I kissed him, happy to be home.

Ah

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

A lick...?

Get a mirror, quick!

I look at my hands! They're not hands anymore! They're wings, but I mean, yes, I have 2 fingers and a thumb left. They are all red and and and and and...

I'm a dragon??????

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I'm looking at myself! I am all red, I have 2 wings and 2 hind legs, a little shorter and a very very very long tail and a crest and a long long neck.

I'm looking at myself! I am all red, I have 2 wings and 2 hind legs, a little shorter and a very very very long tail and a crest and a long long neck

I turn around and turn around and end up falling off the living room table on a cushion.

"SQUEAK! "out of my mouth!

Then I saw Mary and I took her arm and rubbed my cheeks with tenderness and gave her kisses, full of kisses.

And she takes me in her arms and caresses my neck crying.

If Emily could see that!

Poor Emilie, you're all that's left of her.

Then I got on his lap and started purring like a little cat and I was happy to be with my family again.

I couldn't understand why everyone was crying. But I heard my name.

I have to tell them it's me, Emily, but I'm too weak and I'm hungry.

I was given slices of ham and eggs that I loved and my stomach must have been a black hole. I was always hungry.

But I saw a pen or a felt pen, yes, a felt pen dragging it around and I took it in my mouth.

And on the pavement, I wrote:

Mom, Eric, Dad

It's me! It's me!

I love you! I love you!

Emilie!

Mom came into the kitchen where I was writing on the floor with my mouth and she dropped the bowl of milk

and she took me and held me very, very tightly:

Welcome home, Emilie!

Then it was Dad and Eric's turn.

One day, a few years later, witnesses saw a large bird fly with someone on it near Artouste, in the Pyrenees. It was ruby red, very tall but didn't look bad.