Elegy For An Epilogue

Cecillia raised her head and thought about the question. It was right that she was curious about the man full of mysteries, yet she didn’t think it was her place to pry. Whatever past he had with these people wasn’t important to her.

“It’s okay,” she shook her head.

“Ah, alright,” Naira said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

The meal continued, though with a tense silence flowing through the air. Naira had stopped eating completely and simply poked at her food slowly. Derrick and Cassandra went on as if nothing happened. But Cecillia, who was the target of the woman’s anger, finally sighed and broke the silence.

“He was good to me,” Cecillia said, meeting Naira’s gaze. It was true, even though the man had incessantly aired off a grumpy atmosphere, he had treated her well. Doran had protected her against Naira’s group, and had even given her supplies for the day.

“...Good to you?” Naira repeated almost mockingly. Her hands clenched as she stared at the girl. A scoff left her lips and her hands slammed down on the table as the plates shook with a clatter. “Girl, did you hear what the fuck you just said?! Is the captain suddenly a good person now? After everything he’s done?!”

“Naira, pl—”

“Derrick,” she snapped, voice laced with venom as her head whipped towards him. “Stay out of it. You know damn well what he did to you. What he did to us!”

The air around the woman’s body seemed to shimmer as a pulse of pressure exploded from her being. Blackie who was in the nearby vicinity whined and Bluey quivered behind the massive wolf. Cecillia stiffened as the force pressed on her lungs, but her cold gaze never wavered.

“Listen girl,” Naira spat. “I don’t give a fuck, whether he’s a good person to you or not. You don’t know a single bit of what h—”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Cecillia stated, her eyes passing over the three members from the Crimson Squadron. Naira didn’t seem to appreciate the fact that she had been cut off, but Cecillia continued. “I don’t know a thing about him, and you guys for that matter. I don’t know how you’ve been wronged or what he did. All—”

“Exactly, you don’t!” Naira suddenly stood as anger pulled her features into a tight sneer. The fuel within her coal-like eyes ignited as they began to burn with a fiery glow. A dim light started to emanate around her figure and Cecillia reeled back as the woman’s lips curled down into a snarl. “And you know what?! Whatever good you think he’s done for you, it’s only because he wanted something in return. You think that a fucking bastard like him would do anything for free, or out of the goodness of his heart?! You’re naive if you think otherwise.”

“Naira, You didn’t let the girl finish,” Derrick spoke as a green wave flowed from his body, counteracting the Bladesinger’s bloodthirst. Cecillia was able to breathe and she thanked the man with her eyes.

An uneasy silence echoed as Naira stared at the spearman with blatant rage. Her face twitched as the aura around her body only grew. Until suddenly she sat back down and leaned back into her chair. The energy around her dissipating as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“...Finish her words huh?” Naira said with a tight lipped smile. “So she can say what? That people can change?” The woman’s lids slowly lifted as she looked at Derrick. Inside her eyes were a desperate pleading and her voice dropped to a whisper. “Even if people could really change, why should someone like him get to live happily…?”

Cassandra looked at the woman worriedly before glancing at Cecillia. The girl shook her head silently, indicating that she was fine. Although, she felt a slight panging within her chest at the woman’s words. The hatred and the anger, it was something that she herself wasn’t brave enough to acknowledge.

“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Derrick said calmly.

Naira released a mocking laugh before spitting on the ground. “A second chance? We already gave that to the captain by sparing his worthless life. Why do you think he deserves more than that?”

Derrick was about to reply until Cassandra placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. His eyes shook as he looked at her, but the healer only smiled.

“He deserves it because he saved us…” Cassandra said quietly. It was the first time the healer had spoken, but Naira turned on the woman without any mercy. Her auras flared once again and blazing pitch-black flames started to dance on her skin.

“So what if he saved us?!” Naira shouted, spittle flying from her mouth. “Our families were killed, their corpses impaled on fucking spears! We could’ve saved them!”

“We would’ve died,” Cassandra said bluntly. Naira was taken aback, and her mouth was agape. Her face went through a turmoil of emotion before the world was set ablaze. A howling of flames burst out from her being and the plates shattered. Cecillia raised her arms to shield herself, but the healer only waved a hand, a barrier coming to life before her.

The inferno smashed into the barrier a moment later, slowly eating into the magic as cracks started to form. Cecillia’s eyes widened and she prepared to dive away, but the healer slammed her staff into the ground as four more layers reinforced the first.

“We swore a fucking oath,” Naira seethed “Our lives were meant for the people, our families, the kingdom!”

“The ki—”

“For the love of whatever fucking god is out there Cassandra. Fuck!” Naira slammed a fist onto the table, the wood splintered before bursting into flames. “He killed your son, and your husband. How can you stand there and not fucking care?!”

“Don’t bring them into this Naira,” The healer warned. “You know just as well as I do that the captain did what he thought was best.”

Naira laughed, the tone bordering on the edge of insanity. “Oh did he really? Did he really think the best option was to trap us on that ship, watching as our city burned?”

Cassandra’s expression hardened, but the woman couldn’t seem to find any words to say.

“A coward and a traitor,” Naira hissed. “That’s all he is, and that’s all he’ll ever be.”

“He was our officer in command, it was our job to trust him,” Derrick said, taking a step forward. “If anything, we would be the traitors and would be tried for treason. And even if we did go, what would change? The outcome would still be the same except we would all be dead.”

Naira caught the motion and her eyes narrowed as they snapped onto the man. The fires scorching her figure exploded a notch higher and she took a threatening step forward. She stood before the man as the flames danced wildly around her, crackling as they attuned with her barely-contained fury.

“Trust…? Are you trying to say that we should’ve trusted him?” she snarled, “Derrick, you were always his dog and to this day you’re still hiding behind his orders. When will you learn that he stole our choice?”

Derrick remained silent as his lips turned down into a deep frown.

“Derrick the Drunkard, the captain’s loyal mutt,” Naira laughed scornfully. “That’s what they used to call you, remember? Always stumbling after him, barking at his feet. And now, even after everything, you’re still defending the man who took everything from us.”

Cecillia watched as the man stiffened after every pointed insult the woman made. His jaw tightened, but like the healer, he could not respond.

“Did you forget your pain Derrick?” Naira continued and a crack ruptured in her voice. “Do you not remember the nights you spent drinking yourself to the brink of death?! We found you on that fucking street!—” She spat. “—Your face was beaten in, blood leaking from all your wounds. How could you forget Derrick, how…”

The blazing aura around the woman’s body grew faint, the fury within her eyes slightly dimming to the point where they were almost considered damp. Cassandra stepped forward, the flames licking around her body, burning through her clothes and singing her flesh. Yet the healer didn’t care for the pain and wrapped her arms around the woman.

“Naira, enough,” Cassandra whispered. “The captain chose to save us, his subordinates. Think of the choice that he made, he gave up everything so that we could live.”

Naira’s voice turned into a choked sob as her legs collapsed. Cassandra held the woman tightly and supported her weight.

“You think I don’t know that?” Naira sobbed, burying her head into the healer’s chest. “Every single day, Cassandra… I just… I can’t accept it. I don’t understand… I don’t understand… Why…? Why did he save someone like me?”

“Because we mattered to him,” Cassandra brushed a strand out of Naira’s face.

“Our lives shouldn’t matter!” Naira retorted weakly. “We’re only soldiers… our duty is to be out there fighting for our families…”

“Then to the captain, we were something more than just soldiers,” Cassandra said and her gaze lifted to the skies. “He already made his choice. Whether it was selfish, the past cannot be changed.”

Her words were but a fleeting whisper and a stream of tears flowed down Naira’s cheeks. Cassandra continued to comfort the woman, patting her on the back as Cecillia stared at the scene blankly.

The girl didn’t understand why the woman was crying, the tears that were shed confused her. Just moments ago, Naira had been so angry, but now she was sobbing uncontrollably. She certainly wasn’t happy, so she must be sad, but why?

Cecillia recognized that the entire squadron had lost something dear to them, but why was it such a big deal. The event was implied to have happened quite a long time ago, yet even now Naira was so distraught. Cecillia tried to wrap her head around it, but found that nothing came to mind.

The purpose was unknown, and Cecillia tilted her head to the side. She felt like she was missing something important, like there was something she couldn’t understand but couldn’t quite place a finger on it.

“I loved him… I really did… why did he lie…?”

Naira’s choked sobs echoed and reached Cecillia’s ears.

‘Love?’

The word echoed in her mind. She remembered Doran had asked her the question as well earlier in the day. At that time, she hadn’t been able to return an answer, and now, it seemed the case would be the same. She found herself just as lost.

Cecillia’s expression turned puzzled. First the woman clearly seemed to hate the man, and now she said that she loved him. It didn’t make sense, and the more she thought it about it, the more a random headache seemed to thud through her skull.

Shaking her head, she cleared her mind, but her hand reached to her chest. As she continued to stare at the pitiful woman, there was a hollow empty feeling within her heart. It hurt, but she couldn’t quite understand it either. It soon left though, as if it never existed in the first place.